Tom Blake

Seniors love the oldies

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter

January 14, 2022 eNewsletter #2

by Tom Blake author

Seniors love the oldies. Responses to DOO WOP quiz

(Edited for length and clarity)

“It was fun,” were the most popular words shared by Champs who responded to last week’s 30-question doo-wop topic.

Champs said the quiz triggered lots of precious memories and gave them something else to think about instead of the negative pandemic and world news.

Today: Of the 53 Champs who responded, 22 are quoted (I apologize that I couldn’t include everybody). Here’s what was said:

Francesca: “21 right! I’m going to send the test to some of my oldies friends to see how they do. A lot of fun!”

Sandy, Austin, Tx: “This was fun–and challenging–to recall songs from 60 to 70 years ago! I got 22 correct. I also loved the music from the 40s. These are challenging times.”

Wayne, Orange Co, Ca: “Fun quiz. I got 24.”

John, Florida, “28 right; missed Puppy Love. I was a DJ in the 70s and 80s and later filled in on a doo-wop program, so I knew most of these. DJ in Lewistown, PA for 2 years and then DuBois, PA after that. This was fun.

Terry, Thailand, “The Doo Wop Test brought back memories of talking to Alan Freed on the telephone during my early high school days. He would take requests on his radio show in New York City, and I learned how to be the numbered caller that he stated from his radio show.

“I was told that sometimes he beat his hand on a big New York City phone book, keeping in time with the beat of the music. As a young boy, those were fun times. Thanks for the memories!”

Larry, “Enjoyed this issue, though my musical taste was atypical for the 50s. (perhaps because my mother was a classical pianist?)

“I enjoyed all classical music including Beethoven’s 1st Piano, Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake and Mozart’s 5th. Also, Hugo Winterhalter’s Canadian Sunset, Ray Anthony and The Dorsey Brothers.”

Beckie, “Ray and I graduated high school in 1967 so some of the earlier 50s songs were not quite so easy. When I was in junior high, we had a cheer routine to Rock around the Clock. I still remember some of those moves from nearly 60 years ago!

“Where I grew up in Rifle, Colorado, we could only listen to ‘our music’ at nighttime when we could get ‘50,000 watts of power, singing at you every hour’ on KOMA in Oklahoma City, OK.”

“Thanks for the diversion. With all of the bad news swirling through our daily lives, it’s good to have our minds enjoying pleasanter thoughts!”

Andree, “I loved your newsletter as always. This one was great. I got 18. Great memories for me as well. I don’t play an instrument, but this gal has loved music and been a dancer from way back when. At 72, I still love rock and roll and all the oldies.

“When I got home from kindergarten, I would watch Dick Clark on American Bandstand. I also would fall asleep at 8 years old with my transistor radio playing Rock & Roll until I got caught by my mother and had to turn it off. I’ve been a lover of Rock and Roll since I was 5. And one of my first records was ‘Kookie Kookie Lend Me Your Comb.’ Rock and Roll will never die!”

Ted, Grosse Pointe Farms, Mi: “I was working the sign-on/morning drive shift at WALM in Albion (Michigan) when the Bobby Holly story broke (it was my sophomore year at Albion College), and I recall reading the wire service news copy about the plane crash the night before — the day the music died.”

Nancy: “Love your newsletter this week. Perfect timing for a little mental gymnastics on a very winter day. As a ‘60’s grad, I remember most of these songs. Brought back interesting memories. I got 21, not bad for a soon-to-be 80-year-old.

Tom’s response: “You are just a spring chicken. Great job on 21.”

Nancy: “Don’t know about the spring chicken but am in great health, worked until I was 70, just sold my townhouse last year. Always dreamed of living ‘on the water,’ found a log cabin on Lake Ontario in northern New York. Totally renovated and am living my dream.

“Met my partner on Match.com 10 years ago. Have been reading your newsletter for many years…keep them coming!”

Diane: “I got 25. I too love doo-wop and rock and roll from the 50s-70s. Still love it today. I can hear a tune start and know what song will come on. Usually, get it right! Thanks for sharing this.”

Bonnie, a former Victoria Station restaurant chain employee in San Francisco, now living in So Cal: “Got 13.”

My response to Bonnie, (I was also a former Victoria Station employee): “Bonnie, perhaps you didn’t listen enough to the jukebox at Victoria Station! In 1971, our president asked me to ensure the songs on our restaurant jukeboxes were the most popular. He wanted to know the most popular song ever. I researched it. “Bridge Over Troubled Water” by Simon and Garfunkel, at least at that time.

Bonnie’s response #2: “I was too busy flirting with my waiter, Wayne. He moved to southern CA for law school, and I followed. That is why I live here now!”

Liping, Washington state (Did not live in USA in the 60s or 70s): “I do not know anything about the old music 50s 60s, 70s (or today’s) but I tried to answer the first 15 questions – 8 out of 15. Later got 4 out of the other 15.

Very fun!”

Barb, “I must either love good old music or be old…as I got 24. A couple were guesses.”

Marty: “I’m so upset, I missed one. Thought the Monotone’s was fake, but I knew the other groups had other records. Oh Well, learn something new every day. I always enjoy your eNewsletters, and I read one of your books. I’ll get the newest one eventually.”

Tom’s response: Oh Marty, don’t be upset, 29 is amazing. You are the highest so far that I’ve heard from.”

Donna, “I missed four, mostly the background ones. I only missed the one about the cat and the seafood store Fun!

Tom’s response: Loved that Bill Haley song (Shake, Rattle and Roll). “I’m like a one-eyed cat peepin’ in a sea food store. I can look at you ’til you don’t love me no more.”

Leslie (Santa Rosa, Ca): “That was fun, especially since I taught the ‘50s and ‘60s R&R to 6th graders for 25 years! I bet they would do well on the quiz, too, even after all these years. It always amazed me how they loved early rock ‘n roll and knew all the words to the songs. Like you, I also missed #1 (and 4 others). Thanks for the Friday fun.

“I so enjoy reading your columns each Friday and thank you for all. I’m happily single and not at all interested in a relationship because I LOVE living alone. I’ve gotten used to it after 19 years of ‘widow-ship.’”

Carmen, “20 with no lucky guesses.”

Dee #1, Orange Co, Ca: I got 18. It was sad though to read about the crash and it reminded me of the movie about Richie Valens with Lou Diamond Phillips.

Dee #2, Laguna Niguel Ca: “I only got 14.”

Tom’s response: “Only 14? Perhaps because your roommates are from a younger generation!”

MS. Terry: “Fun test. Used to blow them away in college trivia games (early ’70’s). Still got 25, not too shabby! Listen to oldies on the local college station Saturday mornings.

Diane: “I used to live in Mission Viejo but 1 1/2 years ago I moved to Coeur d’ Alene, Idaho. I’ve followed you from the time you had a “Middle Age Dating” column in the OC Register. I was a caregiver at the time.

“Then, when I became a widow, you had written a book. I went to one of your book signings at Barnes and Nobel in Aliso Viejo. I didn’t meet you after your talk. I was a new, young widow, early 50’s, and the room was full of, you guessed it, women! And they surrounded you! LOL. There were maybe 4 guys there.”

Tom’s Response: “Even the single-women-to-single-men ratio was difficult back then. Not much has changed in 2022. However, the response ratio from last week’s quiz was one-to-one.”

Note to the quiz is below.

Thanks for all the fun comments. I’m sorry I couldn’t squeeze everybody in. A reminder, while we are on the music topic, our term ‘Champs’ was adopted from Jackson Browne’s song, “The Load Out/Stay,” an incredible piece of music.

Winter Dance Party – a quiz for seniors

Surf Ballroom poster announcing Buddy Holly Concert dated Feb. 2, 1959. The day the music died was Feb. 3

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter – January 7, 2022

2022 eNewsletter #1

Winter Dance Party – a Doo Wop Quiz for Seniors

Columnist Tom Blake

On Wednesday at about 6:30 a.m., I was sitting in front of my computer pondering what to write about in this week’s eNewsletter. The senior dating news from Champs has been a little slow with the uptick of the Omicron variance.

Events are being canceled and older singles are “sheltering in place,” trying to avoid getting Covid. Not to mention the horrendous weather that has hit the USA since Christmas. Dating and trying to meet a mate isn’t a top priority now.

I checked my inbox. I had an email from one of our most devoted Champs, Larry Leach, in Ann Arbor, Michigan. If his name and city sound familiar, it’s because Larry and his wife Bonnie have been featured or mentioned in our newsletter previously.

They’ve been married for 61+ years. Larry is a couple of years older than I, and was a classmate of my brother Bill in Jackson, Michigan, “a long, long time ago” (opening words to the song American Pie). Larry’s email subject line got my attention: Doo Wop Test.

The test included in his email has 30 multiple-choice trivia questions about the 1950s – 1970s music. And the email also stated: “Answers at the bottom, don’t cheat!” Larry wrote: “I got 9 of these 30 questions right. Give it a try.”

My curiosity took over. I’m pretty darn good at identifying oldies songs from the 1950s – 1970s. The test that Larry sent was taken from the St. Louis Park School (Minnesota) Class of 1958 website (link listed below). With a cup of morning coffee on my desk, I decided to take the “Doo Wop” Test. I grabbed a pen and a blank sheet of paper to write down my answers.

It was fun and boy did the questions bring back memories. They will probably bring back memories for many of you as well. So, I decided to include the test in today’s edition. I hope today’s eNewsletter doesn’t bore our younger (70 and below) Champs.

My brother Bill loved music. His love of music rubbed off on me. I’m an oldies nut. I remember listening on the radio on Saturday mornings, often with brother Bill, to the Marty McNeeley Morning Music Hall Show on WJR, Detroit, which was a top-10 countdown program.

Plus, McNeeley would play new songs on the show that had just come out. I heard a new song previewed one morning. Bill hadn’t been listening. I walked into his room and said, “I just heard a song that I predict is going to be a huge hit.” Bill said, “Who sings it?” I said, “A guy named Elvis Presley.” What’s the name of the song?” “Heartbreak Hotel.” I was right; it went quickly to the top of the charts.

Sometimes, Greta plays YouTube music and I nail most of the 50s, 60s, and 70s on the first couple of notes. For example, Tuesday night, I drove her crazy identifying songs. Included were: Heart of Gold – Neil Young. Turn The Page – Bob Seger. Carol – Paul Anka. American Pie – Don McClean (see postcard above). Sweet Caroline – Neil Diamond. Bolero – Andre Rieu Orchestra.

Speaking of oldies history, one of the first radio stations in the states to play Bill Haley and His Comets’ “Rock Around the Clock” was WIBM in Jackson, Michigan. The overnight D.J. used it as his theme song before it became popular. That’s the same station where Jack Parr got his start.

I got to see Bill Haley in person perform that song at the Atlanta Underground in 1968.You can take the test in one of two ways. By scrolling down this page. All of the questions and answers are listed here.Or, just click on the link. Again, the test that Larry sent was taken from the St. Louis Park School (Minnesota) Class of 1958 (Minnesota) website, so credit to them.

Here is the link:https://www.classcreator.com/St-Louis-Park-MN-St-Louis-Park-Sr-1958/Doo-Wop-Trivia-Quiz.htm

Remember, just scroll down, don’t sneak a peek at the answers until the end. Count your tally. If you wish, let me know how you did. I share my score at the end of today’s eNewsletter.

Here are the first 3 Doo Wop questions and the answers follow:
1. When did ”Little Suzie” finally wake up?
(a) The movie’s over, it’s 2 o’clock
(b) The movie’s over, it’s 3 o’clock
(c) The movie’s over, it’s 4 o’clock

2. ”Rock Around The Clock” was used in what movie?
(a) Rebel Without A Cause
(b) Blackboard Jungle
(c) The Wild Ones

3. What’s missing from a Rock & Roll standpoint?
Earth _____(a) Angel(b) Mother(c) Worm

Answers to the first three questions :
1. (c) The movie’s over, it’s 4 o’clock
2. (b) Blackboard Jungle
3. (a) Angel
I missed the first question, “What time did little Susie wake up?” But, I nailed 25 of the 30, which included a couple of lucky guesses. How did you score on the test?

Turn the page – another year begins

Pre-Christmas meal at Greta’s son’s home (photo courtesy Tony Marchello)

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter December 31, 2021
by Tom Blake – columnist

Turn the Page – another year begins

My partner Greta and I have taken the Covid concerns seriously. Both of us have had two Covid vaccinations and a booster shot. Our health seems good.

At our age, we’ve got to be careful. Like most people in the United States, we are concerned about the Omicron variant of Covid that is spreading rapidly. Hence, we avoid crowds and have no cruises planned.

On Thursday, December 16, we decided not to attend our Dana Point Chamber of Commerce monthly indoor Meet and Greet party. We didn’t want to risk it. And the office Christmas party scheduled for Friday, December 17 at the home of our newspaper publisher and his wife was canceled due to renewed Covid concerns.

Greta and I had been looking forward to that event, especially to spend time with another couple (Dominque and Tom) who are friends and who are also associated with the newspaper. Tom is a columnist for the San Clemente Times, for which I also write. And his wife Dominque worked with Greta in Special Education for years. We replaced the canceled event that Friday evening by inviting Tom and Dominque to our home for a light meal and a glass of wine.

Plans for Christmas week

Our Christmas week plans were small—only joining a few family members. On Thursday, the night before Christmas Eve, we were having dinner at Greta’s son Tony and Joann’s home (pictured above), with two of Greta’s grandchildren.

On Christmas Eve., we were going to Greta’s daughter Tina’s home with her husband and two more of Greta’s grandchildren, plus one of their other friends. Just five others, and us.

And on Christmas day, we were scheduled to go to San Diego to my sister Pam’s home, with her husband Bob, and my other sister, Christine. This was to be a particularly important event for Pam, Christine, and me, as our only brother passed away in January. There are only three of us left in our family.

On Wednesday, December 22, mid-afternoon, five days after Tom and Dominque were at our home, Dominque called Greta to say that she had tested positive for Covid. And while Greta and I felt no symptoms, we wanted to get a rapid-results Covid test. We didn’t want to endanger any members of our family. But where to get a test on such short notice?

I checked online. CVS pharmacy seemed to be the place of choice, but every location in Orange County required an appointment and there were no appointments available before Christmas. We asked Dominque where she had been tested: South County Urgent Care Talega, in San Clemente.

We telephoned. Yes, they were accepting walk-ins but advised us that they were busy and there could be a bit of a wait. Greta and I were in the car within minutes and arrived at the South County Urgent Care place 25 minutes later. We signed up for the rapid-results test. The nice woman told us getting tested would be an hour’s wait, and because all seats in the waiting area were taken, we could wait in our car if we preferred (it was more of a suggestion; it was please do it).

She would text us when our turn was up. We decided that would be the wisest thing to do.

I’m about as patient as a puppy. After three minutes of sitting in the car, I said to Greta: “Let’s take a drive and see if we can find a fast-food place where we can grab a beverage and perhaps use the restroom before we’re called for our test.” I wasn’t familiar with that part of San Clemente, so I just started driving. Within five minutes, we saw a mini shopping center with a couple of restaurants.

One place was called Wow Poki, which sold poke bowls. In we went. We ordered a poke bowl and a beverage and drove back to the parking lot of South Coast Urgent Care. We had a delightful, delicious, light dinner–each using different forks and paper plates—in case one of us would test positive—in the front seat of the car.

Shortly after our meal, the text came; Urgent Care was ready for us. We went in and filled out the paperwork. We were surprised that the rapid test would cost us $100 each. But, to be with our families at Christmas, we willingly accepted the price. I had been tested three times before, so I knew what to expect. Greta hadn’t had a Covid test yet. She was a bit uncomfortable when the cotton swab was inserted into her nose, but the doctor was gentle and considerate.

He said we’d have the results in 10 minutes. So, there we sat, for the longest 10 minutes of our lives. “What if?” “What if?” “What if?” We kept thinking. And then the doctor returned and handed us our results: Both negative.

Oh my gosh, what a relief. The first thing Greta did in the car was call Dominque to tell her the good news. She was ecstatic, so pleased we were okay, and she was feeling well. We also reflected on how wise my newspaper publishers had been in canceling the office party, which avoided approximately 20 other people being exposed to Covid.

When we got home, you bet we had a wine-glass toast to each other. How lucky we felt. However, we realize that we still must be careful. One test doesn’t guarantee we won’t be exposed again. And our three Christmas visits went off without a hitch. Plus, we have a new poke restaurant to frequent.
Happy New Year Champs!

A 60-year senior love story

Ted and Marcia Everingham – 60 years of marriage and love

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter – December 23, 2021

by Columnist Tom Blake

I’ve often said, and I truly believe, that our Champs are incredible people: Warm, friendly, observant, caring, sharing, giving, and helpful.

On this day before Christmas Eve. 2021, I decided to share with you a poem I received this week from my high school classmate Ted Everingham—who is a Champ and a friend. It captures the warmth of Christmas, love and 60-years of happy marriage. So, the total credit of today’s eNewsletter message goes to Ted and Marcia Everingham, of Grosse Pointe Park, Michigan.

A CHRISTMAS MEMORY by Ted Everingham:

“My Christmas Eve was cold and snowy in 1960. It was a Saturday evening, and I was working at the local radio station in Albion, Michigan, reading top-of-the-hour newscasts and running the control board for Late Date, a popular weekly radio show targeting teenage listeners.

“The program ran from 10:00 p.m. until midnight. The show’s host – a senior at the high school in nearby Marshall – chose to close her program that Christmas Eve with a bit of verse. It didn’t rise to the dignity of a ‘poem,’ but it expressed in rhyme an important idea in simple, homespun language appropriate to the time and place.

“I heard the first line or two through my headset, and then for a reason that I have forgotten (if I ever knew), I turned to look at the host through the glass that separated the control room from the studio where she sat. I discovered, to my surprise, that she was not reading the verse but reciting it from memory, and she was speaking directly to me through that glass.

“Here is Marcia’s Christmas wish to me that long-ago evening: ‘If I could do whatever I want to do, To make complete your gladsome Christmas Day I would not bring a single thing to you, But I would come and take some things away: I’d take away all trouble from your heart, Each pain and sorrow I would have relieved, And every pain that caused a single smart, And every hour through which you sorely grieved. I’d have them all be gone — forever gone – Forgotten, like the things that cannot be, And then each hour would be a joyful one, For only good things would be left you see.’”

Ted said, “Eight months later, the host and I were married, and the rest (60 years) is history.”Merry Christmas!

Ted & Marcia Everingham, Grosse Pointe Park, Michigan.

Thanks, Champs, enjoy your Christmas. Be safe. We will send out the final column of 2021 on New Year’s Eve. Merry Christmas Champs!

Book signing leads to pleasant afternoon

Tom’s 5 printed books

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletterDecember 17, 2021

by Tom Blake author and columnist

The Book Signing

Last Saturday, I had the third book signing of my memoir, “Tutor & Spunky’s Deli. A Dana Point Landmark.” In a nutshell, the book is about my 26 years of opening, operating, and eventually selling Tutor & Spunky’s Deli. The signing was held at the deli I didn’t expect many people to show up for a couple of reasons.

I’d already had two book signings there and several people had already purchased the book. Also, I didn’t adequately promote the event. I only mentioned it in this eNewsletter and put a poster up in the deli front window and notified a few acquaintances who were mentioned in the book, thinking they might want to see what I wrote about them.

At the signing, in addition to displaying my latest book on a table where customers could see it, I also had the four other printed books I’ve written on the same table. I’m guessing that reading this sounds pretty boring, I admit. But then meaningful things started to happen.

A younger couple, I’m guessing early 40s, came in for a sandwich. They were perusing the dating books and I heard the guy say to his lady, “This book would be good for Mom to read.”He was referring to Finding Love After 50. How to Begin. Where to Go. What To Do, which I published in 2003.

When I heard him say that I introduced myself, and asked, “Is mom single?” He said, “She’s a new widow. She has no idea what to do. She married right out of high school and has never dated anyone else. Which of these books would be good for her?”

I said, “The one you mentioned, Finding Love After 50.” He said, “I’ll take it. Will you sign it for her?”

“Of course,” I said. And then he added, “By the way, I’m J.J; I went to Dana Hills High School with your former stepson, Mikey. I’ve eaten at this deli for 30 years. How is Mikey doing?” “Funny you should ask. I received a heart-warming text from him yesterday. Hadn’t heard from him in almost a year.”

“J.J., I don’t know if you knew that Joey, Mikey’s brother, was murdered, along with his wife and two young children in 2010. Both Mikey and Joey worked at the deli. Losing his brother like that has been very tough on Mikey. On all of us, as well.” J.J. said, “Yes, I knew about it. I didn’t want to spoil your day by mentioning it. Thanks for being here today, Tom, seeing you brings back great memories and some sadness as well.”

I autographed the book for his mom. I also signed a complimentary copy of How 50 Couples Found Love After 50 for her. And I added, “I suggest your mom sign up for our free eNewsletter. Our Champs can really help her arise out of a very difficult time. Many of them have walked the walk.”

As J.J. and his lovely woman left, it occurred to me that meeting them and likely helping his mom was worth the entire book signing effort that day. Over the years, you Champs have helped so many newly widowed people it warms my heart.

And then, two women–a mother, and a daughter–looked at the books displayed on the table, as the women were waiting for their sandwiches. I said, “Hi, I’m Tom, the author, let me know if you have any questions.” The younger woman said, “You wrote these?” “Yes.”

She said, “We’re both single, mother and daughter. Why are you here?” I said, “I owned this deli for 26 years. I’m just doing a book signing today.” She said, “You owned a restaurant and you’re also an author?” I said, “Yup, when you own a restaurant for 26 years, you need something else to occupy your mind, to keep you from going crazy; I was fortunate enough to become a newspaper columnist and have been writing articles on finding love for 26 years.”

The daughter said, “Gee, we were just driving by and saw the deli sign. We each want one of your new deli books. Can you sign one to ‘Lana,’ who is Mom, and one to me, I’m ‘Lana S.’” I said, “Lana? As in the movie star Lana Turner?”

They laughed and nodded. I said, “And this is Greta, as in Garbo. the famous Swedish star.” We chuckled.

I said “Famous names of famous people. I encourage you, Mom Lana, to sign up for the eNewsletter that I send by email every Friday to 2,000 people all over the USA and other countries.” Then, a tall man named Jim, mid-70s came in wearing a Diablo (Mission Viejo High School) sweatshirt. He said he helps out with the basketball program there. A senior, volunteering to help kids–I love it.

Plus, he mentioned, “I need three books. A new deli book and two How 50 Couples Found Love After 50 books. “Why two 50 Couples books?” I asked. “One for me and one for my friend Fred. He’s having trouble meeting women and he heard that this book explains how all those couples met.”

Jim added, “I came to your Meet and Greets here at the deli. Met a nice woman and we dated exclusively for a couple of months. Then, I went to my grandson’s football game and sat with my other grandkids and my ex-wife.”My new significant other was so insecure, she got jealous and broke off our relationship. Hard to figure that one out. So, I also need to read your book.”

Earlier that Saturday morning, I had gone to the outdoor flea market the city of Dana Point sponsors in the town center to see my friends Vince and Julie who have a booth there where they sell hats with custom-made logos that Vince designs. Vince calls himself, “Vince Thehatman.” (check out his website—VinceTheHatman.com) I told them about the mid-afternoon book signing and they said, “When we are done around 2 p.m., we’ll come for a sandwich and chat.”

They arrived with Jeff Freeman, a guy who also has a booth next to theirs at the flea market. He sells high-quality sheets. The three of them stayed for more than an hour. Julie’s mother Dee S. is one of our Champs. Vince and Julie’s photo is in the new deli book. I’ve known Vince for nearly 30 years.

Occasionally, he helped at the deli when Greta and I traveled. And then, a man named Ron Sobel came to get one of the new books. In 1988, Ron opened Ron’s New York Deli in Dana Point Harbor at the same time I opened Tutor and Spunky’s. His menu is pictured in the new book. Ron and Vince had known each other years ago so they found time to get caught up.

A bit later, another long-time friend, Patrick Hynes, with whom I worked at the Victoria Station Restaurant chain in the 1970s, came in to get one of the new deli books. He drove down from Newport Beach.

Patrick used to be the concierge at the Newport Beach Bay Club, where he met a lot of famous people. Patrick is from Adelaide, Australia, a wonderful person. I had no idea he’d be coming to the book signing.

Patrick publishes a blog titled, Patrick’s Brief Encounters…Snippets of my life in America, which features famous people he’s met since moving from Australia. He’s going to publish a book on that one day. Patrick was featured in another memoir I wrote in 2006, titled, Prime Rib and Boxcars. Whatever Happened to Victoria Station? a copy of which was on the table in the deli.

Ends up, he stayed for over an hour, chatting with Greta, Vince, Julie, Jeff, and Ron. And then a woman, who was dressed to the nine’s came in. It took a few seconds to recognize her, it was Sally West.

Greta and I had met Sally in 2007, on the Venice Simplon-Orient-Express train on a trip from Venice to Prague and on to Paris. Sally and her traveling pal occupied the berth next to ours. Oh my gosh, what a delightful surprise. (I checked to see if that Orient Express train is still operating. It is. Now, if you take a six-day trip from Paris to Istanbul the cost is $25,000 per person. Sure happy we took it 14 years ago.)

I said to Sally, “Why are you dressed so exquisitely?” She said, “I live in a retirement community. Your book signing was a nice social event for me to get out and attend as sort of a change of pace, so I dolled it up a bit.”

Sally is a Champ and loves our eNewsletter. She and the rest of us chatted extensively. The book signing had turned into a delightful event, something that happens when seniors get out and about. It was almost spur of the moment.

The final couple to attend the book signing were Kathy and her husband Dave. Both are retired. Kathy owned and ran McCool’s Flowers, the best damn flower shop in Dana Point for 30 years. They are mentioned in the book.

Often, Kathy did the floral centerpieces for banquet tables that took your breath away and filled banquet halls with a lovely aroma. It was getting dark. And we seniors didn’t want to drive in the dark, so we adjourned. But what a special time it turned out to be.

I realized once again from this simple outing that life is about friends and cherishing old memories. Not many books were sold but that didn’t matter; seeing old friends and meeting new ones is what was important. And it reminded me of how blessed I’ve been in my life.

Merry Christmas Champs!

Senior couples enjoy life despite pandemic

For details, see couple # 4’s story below

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletterDecember 10, 2021
by Tom Blake author and columnist

Four senior couples enjoying life in spite of the pandemic

1   Champ Art says Meetup.com is not just for singles
Art, 83, Margate, Florida, emailed, “I hope that as hospitalizations for Covid continue to go down, the senior single scene will increase. Meetup.com groups are active and becoming more popular, and not just for singles. “I belong to a Meetup group called Single Events and Partys 45 Plus. Recently, about 30 of us went to a large restaurant for a twin lobster dinner for $30.00. I brought my lady friend Jyude; we all had a fun evening.

“A week ago Wednesday, 20 members of the group celebrated their birthdays together at a local Benihana and a few weeks earlier 50 members of the group went on a Caribbean cruise. “Meetup groups are a great way for all seniors—not just singles–to meet for activities ranging from hiking, visiting museums, and a host of other activities.

“The group I belong to started 14 years ago, and most of the members range from their 60’s and 70’s to a few members in their early 80’s. I’m 83.”

2   Andy, 87, San Clemente, Ca, finds online success

Andy (name changed by request) shared, “I have had several dates mostly via online dating services and that’s difficult—a frustrating way to go. Never just the right chemistry. “However, six months ago, I connected online using the dating site OurTime, with a genuine, wonderful woman.“We have a fabulous relationship and so much in common. She’s 77 and very active and smart. And, she has no problem sharing expenses!

“In fact, she goes overboard. Very loving and a great sense of humor. We are so busy going and doing. “I’ve been a widower for four years (after a 63-year marriage) and she’s been widowed eight years (after a 44-year marriage). We are so happy and it’s a match made in heaven.“We both consider ourselves to be very lucky indeed!”

3   Update from Ginny, 80, and Harry, 87, (Pennsylvania) our NY Times couple, who married in September but still live apart (LAT relationship)

After last week’s column about the status of senior dating as 2022 approaches, newlywed Ginny wrote, “Harry and I are doing great. Our LAT-M (Living Apart Together while married) arrangement is working out very well.

“We had been so wrapped up in our wedding plans this year that I was unaware of how challenging the year had been for other singles. Your newsletter reminded me of how fortunate we are.

“I am on the council of our local senior center. Our holiday party is today. Because Harry must take his son for tests, he can’t be with me at the event, so I will get a taste of what it is like to go ‘single.’ I think it will make me more empathetic toward those women without dates. I will look around for a ‘lonely looking face’ and try to make that person feel special.”

4   Jackie, Georgia, ventures online and meets a nice gentleman and credits her deceased husband

Jackie emailed a month ago, “I don’t like online dating, but I found a file in my deceased husband’s) filing cabinet after Randy died in 2017. The file was from 2006, nine years before he and I met. It was a nice profile of a lady on the website Christian Café (Randy never threw anything away!). I don’t know if he reached out to her, but I liked what she had written and put it back thinking IF I ever get on a service, I’ll follow her example of sharing.

“Recently, one lonely day I went online to check out a free one-week trial on that same Christian Café website. I didn’t continue after the week but later received offers for a free day or two. I went online and noticed a man named Ken who lives about 25 miles from me here in Georgia, to where I have just relocated.

“I mentioned to Ken that I hadn’t been able to give any of my info to him because I wasn’t a paid Christian Café member. And said if he was interested, he could write me. It wasn’t until my next free day online that I saw he had written me four times and now I had his email.

“We have been seeing each other several times a week and have been going to church together since Sept. 12. Time will tell if it’s to be something more.  “I don’t know why I feel funny when people ask how we met. I only knew about this site after finding that file–in Randy’s old file cabinet.

“I’ve said that many things about my life are all because of Randy’s kindness! Meeting Ken is because of Randy.  “I attended a car show where Ken’s 1931 Ford Model A Deluxe Roadster won first place. It’s been interesting to see that our paths have had the same journey with a divorce and now having lost our special mates.

“It’s been almost five years since my Randy passed; he and I met at our 50^th class reunion. This latest encounter will be interesting to see if there will be a third time for both Ken and me.”

Tom’s comment: Thanks Champs for the nice stories. The pandemic has slowed us, but not stopped us from (carefully) getting out and about.

Senior dating status as 2022 approaches

Sunset over Catalina Island from Waldorf Astoria Resort, with friends, Dana Point, California, November 2021

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter – December 3, 2021

by Tom Blake author and columnist

The senior dating status as 2022 approaches

The year 2021 changed senior dating dramatically. Covid 19 was the culprit. In-person social events were canceled or switched to being presented virtually.

For example, I had a “Senior-dating-in-the-digital-age” speech scheduled for September 24 requested by the Orange County Aging Services Collaborative. I was to appear at the Dorothy Visser Senior Center in San Clemente before an audience of 50 people.

My talk was scheduled to be aired simultaneously to nine other OC senior centers with an expected live audience of 40-50 people at each center for a total of 500 people. I was hoping one or two potential couples would meet at each center, but because of Covid, the speech went entirely to Zoom so none of the 500 people could meet in person.

During the pandemic, libraries, restaurants, bars, social clubs, and other gathering spots were closed or open with limited access and saddled with mask restrictions and six-feet apart requirements. Senior social interaction was reduced by at least 80 percent (my guestimate) for most of the year.

Face-to-face meetings, which are essential in cultivating relationships, were rare. Most seniors understandably didn’t want to risk catching Covid. Yes, restrictions have been lifted somewhat in the last three months, but many seniors are still leery and hesitant to venture out. To combat the face-to-face restrictions, many seniors, not all, turned to internet dating, which is a great way to meet new people.

Romance scams and romance scammers

However, singles weren’t the only people using internet dating sites. Romance scammers used the sites to spoof and scam vulnerable seniors. Some seniors tragically lost their savings. The pandemic has been tough on couples who live in different states or countries. Canada’s border was closed for months, which made seeing a loved one in person who lived in Canada nearly impossible. And vice versa for Canadiens.

People in long-distance relationships saw each other less often than they liked. Even flying and driving long distances to see a loved one within the United States was challenging. Larry, a friend, and former neighbor I’ve known for 28 years met a woman in the Philippines Islands a few years ago. He lived with her there but came home to the USA on a short business trip just before Covid started. Since then, he’s had nine trips scheduled to return to be with her but each time the P.I. government did not allow him to reenter the country.

I asked him this week, “Did you finally get to the P.I?” Larry responded, “Still in the OC. Patience has turned to anger, and I really don’t care if I ever go back to the Philippines! But, Emy and I really love each other, so we have other destinations in consideration.”

During the pandemic, I’ve received many inquiries from readers about where they can go to meet someone or if I know of someone that might be right for them. It surprises me when I respond to them with comments or suggestions, some don’t have the courtesy to respond back. How the heck can I help them during this difficult time if that’s how they operate? And do they treat potential dates that way?

And now, there’s a new Covid Variant called Omicron that is possibly contagious and dangerous. Will that make senior dating more difficult again? That’s hard to say, but it certainly is creating more uncertainty. In the 26 years, I’ve been writing about senior dating and relationships, I’ve never seen the senior singles scene so challenging.

Last month, Greta and I met our friends Ron and Lee at the renamed Waldorf Astoria Resort in Dana Point for happy hour and to watch the sunset. Neither couple had been out with friends much for more than a year. The picture above was taken from our outdoor table. Catalina Island is on the horizon. I suggest singles try to get out with vaccinated friends, but oh-so-carefully. Wear masks, avoid crowded places, gather outside when possible. Be vaccinated.

Network through friends and organizations by asking people if they know of other singles who would like to meet people. That was the old-fashioned way of meeting potential mates pre-internet. Also, consider internet dating, but if you go that route, do so carefully. Beware of scammers; they lurk on every site. Trust your instincts. And if you do connect online with someone interesting, meeting in person sure has its challenges. Don’t give up. Modify your expectations. You never know who’s around the corner or in the next aisle at a store. Be friendly. Be upbeat. That guy wearing the Santa Claus suit and beard might be perfect for you.

Hopefully, 2022 will be better for senior dating. We’ll keep you posted.

Part 2 – One more “Tutor & Spunky’s Deli. A Dana Point Landmark” book signing

My third, and likely final book signing for my recently published book, is scheduled for Saturday, December 11 at, where else? Tutor and Spunky’s Deli in Dana Point from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. If any of you would like an autographed copy shipped to you, I will sign and mail one for $24.00, which includes tax, shipping, and handling. Simply email me at tompblake@gmail.com.

The Living Desert Palm Springs Zoo

rhino ticket stubs — Ticket stubs featuring the new rhinos at the Palm Desert Zoo

Ticket stubs featuring the new rhinos at the Palm Desert zoo

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter – November 25, 2021

by Tom Blake Columnist

HAPPY THANKSGIVING 2021

On Monday evening of this Thanksgiving week, Greta and I were sitting on the patio of our Palm Springs, California, vacation home. We were facing west, looking at the magnificent Mount San Jacinto Peak (10,804 feet). I told her how blessed we were to be able to enjoy our time out here.

“However,” I said. “Lately, I’ve been reflecting on our Champs and friends who have lost partners, and others whose health is failing. Plus, the news is depressing with mass shootings and cars driving through crowds, road rage running rampant, and saber-rattling by countries threatening other countries. Not to mention Covid-19. It’s a downer and sad.”

Greta said, “Yes, there is a lot of sadness in the world. If we dwell on those sad things too much, it will drag us down. But we must remember how fortunate we are, at our age, to have lived such good lives. We need to focus on the positive and enjoy the time we have left together.”

I had a glass of chardonnay; she had a margarita. We toasted each other. In Palm Springs, we try to relax, exercise, and enjoy ourselves. We are thankful that fate led us to Palm Springs three years ago.

Greta added, “Think about last Wednesday when you asked me out on a date, which I thought was cute. You said you wanted to show me something. We had some spare time, so we drove out to Palm Desert to visit the Living Desert Zoo and Gardens. It was wonderful.”

I had read that there are two new black rhinos at the zoo. We hoped to get a glimpse of them. The animals are magnificent out there. The zoo is another thing for which to be thankful. The picture on the ticket stubs reflects the new rhinos (black rhinos are gray, not black). The rhinos were camera shy. We did get a glimpse of Nia (pronounced Nye-A) who was across the grass in the new Rhino Savannah four-acre area resting in the shade. We were told that Jaali (pronounced Jolly) was in a barn.

We strolled through the zoo, seeing several other animals. If you would like to read about our brief visit to the zoo, and see a few animal pictures, click on the link below to our travel website, www.travelafter55.com.

On the home page, the visit to the zoo opens first automatically. In total, there are approximately 189 of our trips posted to that site. Greta and I wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving and hope that the pictures of the beautiful animals will lift your spirits and remind you of the positive things you have in your life.

Happy Thanksgiving, God bless you all. We are thankful for you Champs. Love, Tom and Greta

P.S. Please email me at tompblake@gmail.com with your comments, questions, and experiences. They help other Champs who are dealing with similar situations.

www.travelafter55.com

HAPPY THANKSGIVING CHAMPS!

Which online dating site is best for seniors?

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter – November 19, 2021

by Columnist Thomas P Blake

Which online dating site is best for seniors?

During the pandemic, most single seniors didn’t interact face-to-face with people, so many of them decided to give online dating a try. Several were frustrated with the experience. Some seniors don’t internet date at all. Connie emailed me about the difficulty she’s had when trying to meet men. She wrote, “I have never been on an online dating site. I prefer the old-fashioned way (of meeting men).”

I assume what Connie’s “old-fashioned way” term means to her is networking through friends and/or going to public places where she might by chance meet a guy.

I’ve often been asked by seniors, “Which online dating site is right for me?”

Take Ellen for example. She wrote: “I am a widow, 66, and recently retired. So, I’m starting a new chapter in my life. When I think of the future and see myself alone for the rest of my life, that makes me feel sad. However, when I look at my life today, I am happy–busy with kids, grandkids, hobbies, and church.

“I tried online dating for a few years. Tried them all: eHarmony, Plenty of Fish (POF), Catholic Match, Senior Dating, and OurTime. I met some nice people, but nothing clicked.“More times than not when I emailed someone, I never got a response. After a while, it just wasn’t worth the work anymore, and Internet dating is a lot of work. I keep my options open, but I figure at this stage I am pretty well done with online looking. But I am certainly open if I meet someone in person.”

I’m not an Internet dating expert. After all, I’ve been with Greta for 24 years and have never been on an Internet dating site. So, how do I advise women like Ellen to find the right dating site?

I turn to an expert dating and relationship coach I’ve known for 20+ years, who is also a Champ. Her name is Christine Baumgartner; she lives in Orange County, California, and calls her business “The Perfect Catch.” She helps clients all over the United States, not just in the OC.

Recently, Christine posted comments on Facebook under the title, “Which Internet dating site is ‘the best’ one?” I felt what Christine wrote was so informative for single senior daters that I chose to share some of her highlights in this week’s eNewsletter.

When Christine is asked by a client which dating site is the best one, her reply is, “This may surprise you, They’re generally all the same.”

But she points out that certain sites have a particular focus such as religious beliefs or sites that cater to a variety of age groups, including sites for seniors.
Christine said, “In reality, the outcome of a person’s online dating experience or your own experience often has more to do with some of the following…

“Your attitude toward yourself, the opposite sex, and dating in general. In particular, many people tend to struggle if they have negative opinions about the opposite sex (due to past dating experiences).”

“Profile content and photos. Many of us are tempted to lie about our age or touch up our pictures.” She stresses that singles should be honest with what they post.

“Persistence. Some people give up quickly when dating doesn’t turn out to be what they were looking for.” Christine recommends people adopt a stick-with-it attitude.

Christine concluded, “I have clients who have met their significant others on dating sites after we worked on these things together. I’ve found that it’s usually not the site causing a person to not find the right date…it’s the person not using the site to that person’s best advantage.”

If I were single and trying to figure out how best to meet someone, I’d contact Christine. She’s a widow and has walked the walk. Not to mention that she is one of the nicest human beings one will ever meet. No wonder she does so well at helping senior singles who are struggling to find their way. Here is Christine’s picture:

Christine’s email is christine@theperfect catch.com and her website is www.ThePerfectCatch.com

Contact her, you’ll be pleased that you did.

New York Times Wedding for our Champ

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter – November 12, 2021

by Columnist Thomas P Blake

Part 1 – Great news!

I think most of you will remember our Champ Ginny, age 80, from articles written April 23 and April 30, 2021, in our eNewsletter. Ginny met an old friend, Harry, who was shooting pool with his buddies at the Pennsylvania senior center where Ginny volunteered.

We first wrote about her in April. Although Harry is seven years older, they had known each other for 65+ years. Harry was a widower who had been married for 59 years. Ginny and Harry started dating in 2013 but he emphatically stressed to her, “No marriage or living together.”

The couple’s situation started to change this summer. Harry’s hard-core position on marriage softened. Ginny kept us posted. A wedding was planned for November 2021. Then the wedding was moved to September.

Then, this started to happen: One of our Champs and loyal followers is New York Times wedding columnist Tammy Lagorce. Tammy asked for permission to contact Ginny and then Tammy did what all good columnists do–dig in deeper, getting the facts.

Tammy wrote an article on Harry and Ginny’s wedding, which appeared in the Times on November 5. Wedding pictures included. It’s awesome (the link is below). The featured picture at the opening of this column is not Ginny and Harry. It was a wedding couple that Greta and I saw in Praque in 2007. They might have been 20 years old, not in their 80s.

After reading last week’s eNewsletter about Abba, Tammy emailed: “Thank you so much for pointing me in her (Ginny’s) direction, and please keep me posted on other Champs who are ready to tie the knot. You are a treasure trove of great stories! I appreciate you.”

So, Champs, if you are thinking of tying the knot, let us know so we can pass the word on to Tammy.

By the way, Ginny and Harry have a unique relationship: a LAT-M (Living Apart Together-Marriage).

Link to NY Times link about a Champ’s wedding

Part 2 – Two websites that help seniors combat fraud and romance scams

Do you know that a “friend request” you receive on Facebook, or an offer for a free COVID-19 test on Instagram might be from a romance scammer trying to steal your money?

Are you aware that a phone call from a number you don’t recognize might be from a con artist claiming to work for the IRS who declares if you don’t pay delinquent back taxes that very day you will be jailed?

Romance scammers are con artists. They are experts at defrauding people. Romance scammers slowly gain the trust of vulnerable, lonely people, often seniors or widows, and sooner or later start asking for money. Millions of dollars have been stolen from unsuspecting seniors.

The United States Senate Special Committee on Aging is so concerned about seniors being scammed that it publishes an annual interactive Fraud Book that anyone can view online by searching on “Senate Interactive Fraud Report.” The book is free to download. Do not download other fraud books that cost money that might appear on the search page.

In a recent Senate Fraud Book I read, the opening Dear Friends letter said: “In 2020, the FTC estimated that Americans ages 60 and older lost at least $602 million to fraud, scams, and financial exploitation schemes.” The Fraud Book supplies tips from the FBI, FTC, and FCC on how to spot romance scammers and information from the FBI describing common techniques used by romance scammers, and details about Covid 19-related romance scams. The book includes a toll-free Fraud Hotline to report scams.

Another valuable tool for seniors for reading about romance and other scams is provided by the AARP Fraud Resource Center. The AARP Fraud Resource Center lists information on 76 different types of scams and fraud plus other valuable information. It can be accessed online by searching on “AARP Scams & Fraud.”

After studying the Senate Fraud Report and the AARP Scams & Fraud pages, I compiled a list of 10 tips for seniors to avoid fraud and romance scams

Tom’s 10 romance scam tips

1. To be better informed about fraud and scams, seniors should read and study the U.S. Senate Committee on Aging’s Fraud Report and the AARP Scams & Fraud pages.

2. If a person on a dating site says he or she is working overseas, it’s a red flag. Stop communications with that person

3. Trust your instincts. If someone sounds too good to be true, that person is likely a scammer

4. If a person says that meeting you was fate and he or she is quickly falling in love with you, it is a lie. A person cannot fall in love with someone he or she has never met face-to-face

5. Do not send pictures of yourself or supply personal information such as your home address to someone you’ve never met

6. Don’t be fooled by simple trinket-type gifts a person sends (if he or she has your address). The scammer gets the gifts for free from the scamming company

7. If a person says he or she is planning to visit you, and then cancels, he or she is likely a scammer

8. Never send money to anyone you don’t know personally or do not help a friend send money

9. Do not answer your phone if you don’t recognize the number calling you

10. Discuss your doubts or suspicious activity with friends or contact someone like me for an opinion. Or call the fraud hotline number listed in the Senate Fraud Report. Let’s put an end to romance scams. Beware of those social media “friend requests” and other warning signals.

Here are the two most important links I have provided to readers in the 26 years of writing newsletters and newspaper columns: AARP Fraud Watch Network
Link to AARP Fraud Watch

U.S. Senate’s Fraud Report
Link to Senate Fraud Report