Enjoying Love at 80

Widow and widower love

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter

July 22, 2022  

by Tom Blake – columnist

How Susie met Jon

One of the most important things seniors can do to avoid loneliness and have a quality life is to incorporate social interaction into their daily routines. That means getting off the couch, out of the house, and being around people. When seniors do that, positive things often happen. Today’s story is an example.

Thirty-four years ago, I was surfing the Boneyard area of Doheny Beach. There was just one other person surfing there that day. He and I were chatting while waiting for waves to break. His name was Alex Rentziperis; he was opening a barber shop called Sports Barber in Dana Point. Alex has been cutting my hair ever since.

A couple of weeks ago, I went to the Sports Barber for a haircut. The shop is located in downtown Dana Point on the second floor above Stillwater, a popular country dancing restaurant.

When I walked in, Alex introduced me to a woman, whose hair he had just cut. He said, “This is Susie, she’s my only woman customer; I’ve been cutting her hair for 25 years.”

I had never seen a woman customer in Alex’s Sports Barber Shop.

Then, Alex said, “Susie has a senior marriage-success story.”

Alex’s words perked my interest. I told Susie I had been writing about senior dating for 24 years. Susie grinned, “I know, I read your column in the Dana Point Times. I thought your recent column, “Where is John?” was funny because my husband’s name is Jon, just spelled a little differently. I found John, we met later in life.”

I asked her a few questions and then asked if she’d email me her story, which she did.

Susie, who is now a Champ (one of my weekly eNewsletter readers), wrote, “In 2009, three of my girlfriends and I decided to go on a Mediterranean cruise. After unpacking in our staterooms, we decided to check out the activities on each deck of the ship. When we reached Deck 12, we noticed that it was 5:00 p.m., saw an outdoor bar, and decided it was time for a glass of wine. 

“One friend doesn’t drink alcohol, so she went to listen to music coming up from Deck 4. When the three of us got our wine and turned around, we saw our friend dancing with a man. We wondered, where did he come from? 

“After the dance ended, the man introduced himself to we three wine-sippers. His name was Jon; this was the start of a friendship among the five of us.  

“Because of high winds during the cruise, the ship could not dock at four of the eight ports. This gave the five of us time to have many conversations and do activities together. 

“Jon and I got to know each other and became good friends. After the cruise, we communicated often and spent time together. Amazingly, Jon was from Northern California, and I was from Southern California, and we met halfway around the world! Jon’s version of how we met is ‘Susie picked me up on the love boat.’” 

“Jon had been widowed for 1.5 years. I had been widowed for 13 years. Jon told me that if we developed a relationship, I would have more of an adjustment to make because I had been single for so long. A year after the cruise, we were married.

Susie and John Gaare

Susie added, “We decided to live in Dana Point because it was the only place with warm fog and no bugs. Jon says it was simply a ‘no brainer.’

“We purchased a condo together; it has been our ‘pinch-me moment.’”  

When people venture out to enjoy life, positive things often happen. For Susie, meeting Jon was one of them, and sharing her story with a columnist at the Sports Barber is another. 

The List of 21: advice for living a good life as we age

Note from Tom: This List of 21 (my name for it) has been emailed to me more than once. I searched the Internet to find the author’s name, to no avail. I do not take credit for this list. I don’t the like the title: “Between 65 (or 70, or 75) and …” So, I took the word out and inserted the “… “I would prefer a title like this, “Tips for Senior Living beyond 65,” or something similar. I add The List of 21 to this Finding Love After 50 website so readers can peruse the entire list of 21 items.

21 tips for seniors to live by
The List of 21

A reminder. I am not the author of this list. The words below are not mine.

Between 65, 70, or 75 and …

Many of us are between 65 and the end of our life.  An old friend sent me this excellent list for aging, and, I have to agree it’s good advice to follow….

  1. It’s time to use the money you saved up. Use it and enjoy it. Don’t just keep it for those who may have no notion of the sacrifices you made to get it. Remember there is nothing more dangerous than a son or daughter-in-law with big ideas for your hard-earned capital. Warning: This is also a bad time for investments, even if it seems wonderful or fool-proof. They only bring problems and worries. This is a time for you to enjoy some peace and quiet.
  2. Stop worrying about the financial situation of your children and grandchildren, and don’t feel bad spending your money on yourself. You’ve taken care of them for many years, and you’ve taught them what you could. You gave them an education, food, shelter and support. The responsibility is now theirs to earn their own money.
  3. Keep a healthy life, without great physical effort. Do moderate exercise (like walking every day), eat well and get your sleep. It’s easy to become sick, and it gets harder to remain healthy. That is why you need to keep yourself in good shape and be aware of your medical and physical needs. Keep in touch with your doctor, do tests even when you’re feeling well. Stay informed.
  4. Always buy the best, most beautiful items for your significant other. The key goal is to enjoy your money with your partner. One day one of you will miss the other, and the money will not provide any comfort then, enjoy it together.
  5. Don’t stress over the little things. You’ve already overcome so much in your life. You have good memories and bad ones, but the important thing is the present. Don’t let the past drag you down and don’t let the future frighten you. Feel good in the now. Small issues will soon be forgotten.
  6. Regardless of age, always keep love alive. Senior Love. Love your partner, love life, love your family, love your neighbor and remember: “A man is not old as long as he has intelligence and affection.”
  7. Be proud, both inside and out. Don’t stop going to your hair salon or barber, do your nails, go to the dermatologist and the dentist, keep your perfumes and creams well stocked. When you are well-maintained on the outside, it seeps in, making you feel proud and strong.
  8. Don’t lose sight of fashion trends for your age, but keep your own sense of style. There’s nothing worse than an older person trying to wear the current fashion among youngsters. You’ve developed your own sense of what looks good on you – keep it and be proud of it. It’s part of who you are.
  9. ALWAYS stay up-to-date. Read newspapers, watch the news. Go online and read what people are saying. Make sure you have an active email account and try to use some of those social networks. You’ll be surprised what old friends you’ll meet. Keeping in touch with what is going on and with the people you know is important at any age.
  10. Respect the younger generation and their opinions. They may not have the same ideals as you, but they are the future, and will take the world in their direction. Give advice, not criticism, and try to remind them that yesterday’s wisdom still applies today.
  11. Never use the phrase: “In my time.” Your time is now. As long as you’re alive, you are part of this time. You may have been younger, but you are still you now, having fun and enjoying life.
  12. Some people embrace their golden years, while others become bitter and surly. Life is too short to waste your days on the latter. Spend your time with positive, cheerful people, it’ll rub off on you and your days will seem that much better. Spending your time with bitter people will make you older and harder to be around.
  13. Do not surrender to the temptation of living with your children or grandchildren (if you have a financial choice, that is). Sure, being surrounded by family sounds great, but we all need our privacy. They need theirs and you need yours. If you’ve lost your partner (our deepest condolences), then find a person to move in with you and help out. Even then, do so only if you feel you really need the help or do not want to live alone.
  14. Don’t abandon your hobbies. If you don’t have any, make new ones. You can travel, hike, cook, read, dance. You can adopt a cat or a dog, grow a garden, play cards, checkers, chess, dominoes, golf. You can paint, volunteer or just collect certain items. Find something you like and spend some real time having fun with it.
  15. Even if you don’t feel like it, try to accept invitations. Baptisms, graduations, birthdays, weddings, conferences. Try to go. Get out of the house, meet people you haven’t seen in a while, experience something new (or something old). Senior social interaction. But don’t get upset when you’re not invited. Some events are limited by resources, and not everyone can be hosted. The important thing is to leave the house from time to time. Go to museums, go walk through a field. Get out there.
  16. Be a conversationalist. Talk less and listen more. Some people go on and on about the past, not caring if their listeners are really interested. That’s a great way of reducing their desire to speak with you. Listen first and answer questions, but don’t go off into long stories unless asked to. Speak in courteous tones and try not to complain or criticize too much unless you really need to. Try to accept situations as they are. Everyone is going through the same things, and people have a low tolerance for hearing complaints. Always find some good things to say as well.
  17. Pain and discomfort go hand in hand with getting older. Try not to dwell on them but accept them as a part of the cycle of life we’re all going through. Try to minimize them in your mind. They are not who you are, they are something that life added to you. If they become your entire focus, you lose sight of the person you used to be.
  18. If you’ve been offended by someone – forgive them. If you’ve offended someone – apologize. Don’t drag around resentment with you. It only serves to make you sad and bitter. It doesn’t matter who was right. Someone once said: “Holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Don’t take that poison. Forgive, forget and move on with your life.
  19. If you have a strong belief, savor it. But don’t waste your time trying to convince others. They will make their own choices no matter what you tell them, and it will only bring you frustration. Live your faith and set an example. Live true to your beliefs and let that memory sway them.
  20. Laugh. Laugh A LOT. Laugh at everything. Remember, you are one of the lucky ones. You managed to have a life, a long one. Many never get to this age, never get to experience a full life. But you did. So what’s not to laugh about? Find the humor in your situation.
  21. Take no notice of what others say about you and even less notice of what they might be thinking. They’ll do it anyway, and you should have pride in yourself and what you’ve achieved. Let them talk and don’t worry. They have no idea about your history, your memories and the life you’ve lived so far. There’s still much to be written, so get busy writing and don’t waste time thinking about what others might think. Now is the time to be at rest, at peace and as happy as you can be!

AND, REMEMBER: “Life is too short to drink bad wine!!”


My friend, 68, will be caregiver to his mom, who is 90

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter – May 19, 2018

A Champ to care give his 90-year-old mother (Be sure to read the update at the end)

I have been friends with Mick for 43 years. We worked together at the Victoria Station restaurant chain in the 1970s. Those were fun and carefree days back then. My, my, how life has changed. This week, Mick, 68, reached out for advice.

Mick wrote, “In September, 2017, I retired from the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation and then spent the winter in Lake Tahoe skiing. While I was up there, Emma, my 90-year-old mother, tripped and fell in the chicken house at her farm in rural Wisconsin and suffered a concussion.

Emma has been living alone, by proud choice, in a circa 1850 farmhouse on 47 acres for the past few years following the passing of her second husband and her dog. That accidental fall at her farm, and, one too many cold winters, finally changed her mind about living alone. She has decided to take me up on my longstanding offer for her to move to Dallas to live out her final years near me.

As I considered her and my housing options, I decided to buy a house near White Rock Lake that was big enough with the right floor plan to permit us to be housemates but still have a healthy measure of separation and privacy.

I read a book titled “Being Mortal” by Atul Gawande, which describes how we in the developed world have decided to ‘outsource’ the care of our elders to an impersonal, uncaring industry focused more on medical outcomes and safety than quality of life.

I strongly recommend Champs take the time to read the book. That book helped me decide that my mother deserved a better fate than to be parked in an institutional setting waiting to die. That may happen eventually, but until it becomes necessary, I want to provide her with a more pleasant alternative.

I am a bit apprehensive about having my mother as a housemate. She and I are fiercely independent and have each lived alone for many years. We also know how to push each other’s ‘buttons.’ But we have committed to give this a try.

Emma’s health is good. But I know at some point, the wheels will start to come off. There is enough room here to permit live-in help if or when necessary. I intend to go back to work (for the $ and the mental stimulation) and have a new, wonderful lady named Mary Ann, age 61, in my life who lives a short drive away. So, I will get time away from Emma. So, I should avoid caregiver loneliness. Mary Ann is totally on board with Emma moving in with me.

Mick and Mary Ann – Mick will help his Mom; Mary Ann agrees with his decision 

The challenges to this arrangement are obvious. But my mother and I have always gotten along very well. I’m sure we will be able to negotiate our way around the inevitable conflicts (so long as she remains lucid). My immediate concerns are:

1. Her single senior loneliness. Emma will be leaving behind her social network and initially will be totally dependent on me for conversation and emotional support. How do I help her develop a cadre of new buddies here in Dallas to ease that burden? She will need senior social interaction.

2. Her isolation. Our house is in a wonderful park like setting with shade trees and a large nearby lake. Yet Dallas-Fort Worth is the fourth largest urban area in the US. So, there is a lot to do – museums, opera, symphony, the Dallas Arboretum, restaurants, art galleries, etc. My mother has agreed to give up her car and will not be driving, but I want her to get out and enjoy all that the Dallas/Fort Worth area has to offer, as long as she is able. Are Uber and Lyft safe and reliable transportation alternatives?

3. My sadness. I think of my mother as a strong, vibrant woman with a bit of a temper and a lot of spunk. She stopped cross country skiing at age 80 and still shovels snow and chops her own firewood. She has always been a handful.

But as she ages, she is beginning to show signs of frailty and loss of cognitive skills. She is more indecisive than before. I understand that such declines may be inevitable but emotionally it’s hard for me to watch and experience. Seeing her only occasionally, as I did previously, made it easier to take. But what will happen when I see it every day? How do I best prepare myself to be strong but remain considerate and loving?

I’m certain our Champs have a lot of collective and hard-earned wisdom on how to manage my new situation. Feedback from them would be helpful. There is no reason for me to reinvent the wheel.”

Tom’s comment to Mick: 

-Your apprehension is understandable. No doubt, her moving in will be an adjustment for both of you.

-Your immediate concerns are valid. She will be lonely; you will need to find places for her where she can go and socialize and make new friends. Is there a senior center near? Check Meetup.com to see if there are clubs or activities that would interest her. I’d get on this her senior social interaction right away.

-Uber and Lyft are, for the most part, safe options. But, occasionally, we hear about a driver who is a bad egg. Also, can Emma use a cell phone to access the apts so she can order Uber or Lyft when she wants to be picked up?

Are wheel-chair-access buses for seniors available to come to your home to transport Emma to and from the places she will want to go?  Also, who will be with her at museums, the opera and other places when she is out and about?

-Good that the new house is big enough should you need live-in help.

-The sadness you feel is natural, after all, you love her. But showing signs of frailty and loss of cognitive skills is normal. To cope with that you will have to realize it goes with the territory. You will be tested most with having patience for her declining ability and if that becomes too unbearable, you may have to make other arrangements for her, which you and she do not want.

That’s what makes care giving so damn hard. It becomes lonely as well. You cannot let it start to cost you your health—that’s a huge challenge.

Knowing you, you will handle the situation with grace and understanding.

And then this happens. Update from Mick on Wednesday:

Mick wrote, “Yesterday, my mother walked into a glass partition at her bank in West Bend WI, bounced off, fell down and severely broke her leg. Fortunately, the hip ball and socket are in good shape (so no hip replacement needed) but she will have a rod and screws installed this afternoon to put her femur back together. My brother is on his way there now. I will fly to Milwaukee Friday.

“So, I guess this will be baptism-by-fire for me regarding this care-taking thing. Wish me luck!”

Loneliness of Caregivers

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter – May 11, 2018

Senior Loneliness. Last week, I asked Champs for input on the loneliness of caregiving.

Before I begin today’s column, I need to mention that writing about this topic was difficult. Caregiving is not easy, as you will comprehend as you read these two responses from Champs.

A positive that emerged for me: It made me appreciate—even more than I already do–how fortunate I am to have Greta, a wonderful and loving partner, in my life. And I hope these two stories will have a similar affect on you.

Also, as we age, we must realize that for some of us, care giving will become a reality. We might become a care-giver, or a care-receiver. Either way, we’ll do our best.

       Caregivers have big hearts 

Linda’s story: Recovering from caregiving

Linda emailed, “I was my husband’s caregiver for many years. Dealing with the loneliness was harder some days than others. I miss having to take care of him.

He had open heart surgery, having his aortic valve replaced in the 1990’s, and never really recovered from that. He ended up getting an infection in his incision, and then was put on “IV” antibiotics for six weeks.

After that, it was just one more bump in the road after another. When he passed away, there was nothing left for me to do. Everything was done and over. I miss talking and laughing with him. I miss getting a hug for no reason. The evenings are the worst as there is no one to talk with or help you figure out a problem.

I was also kind of a caregiver to our dog (a Lhasa Apso). She had arthritis in her back and needed treatments and meds. I had to put her to sleep this past July. Now, I am really alone.

I feel as you become his caregiver, after so many years, you are no longer his wife, you are his caregiver. That realization was tough on some days. Dealing with senior loneliness, you try to get involved with others, but I always felt uncomfortable as everyone usually had someone and I was there alone.

It has been four years this month that he has been gone. I currently have a job working 2 p.m. to 8 p.m. That kind of uses up my evenings. My job is necessary, as there were no funds left when he passed. I am getting better and stronger each day, but it is taking time.

Althea’s story: In a way, caregiving is her savior, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy

Althea said, “I am ‘sort of’ a caregiver; I live with a couple in Yuba City, California. I get lonely and feel very alone in this world most of the time.

I’m 69 and was taken-in last August by a married couple who are both 81 and live in their own 3-bedroom, 2-bath house. I was in jeopardy of becoming homeless in Placerville, a couple of hours from here, and, through their daughter finding me, they accepted me and my 7-year-old dog, to help with their challenges of aging.

They gave me the master bedroom and bath. I don’t get paid, but, that balances out with my not having to pay rent or for groceries.

The wife has dementia; I help with her issues when her husband is not around. He goes fishing at least three times a week and keeps busy in his garage the other days. He and I take turns making the evening meals (she doesn’t cook anymore; she ‘tidies up’ but doesn’t clean anything).

I’ve been dealing with senior loneliness for a long time because I’ve been divorced for many years and have been living alone since 2008 when my last child graduated from college.

This senior loneliness feels different though. Before, I would be lonely, but I was living in my own home, surrounded by my things that were familiar and made me feel safe. I could putter and find things to do in my house or outside.

Now, I have my own room with all my things and furniture in it, but I’m living in someone else’s house where everything else is out of my control…like arranging the kitchen cabinets and drawers the way I’d prefer or moving things around in the rest of the house.

I don’t spend any time in their living room. I spend a few hours in the dining room where I do jigsaw puzzles on the big table (they don’t use the room anymore) and kitchen, eating or cleaning up.

I spend most of the day in my room with my dog: computer, iPad, phone, TV, books, magazines, my thoughts, sometimes writing in a journal.

To combat senior loneliness, I get out most every day. I take my dog for walks at one of the many grassy/shady parks. Sometimes, I just drive around for a while and run my own small errands for personal items, also sometimes buy lunch and eat at one of the parks.

I found a therapist last October and have a standing appointment for one hour on Wednesdays. It helps to have someone to vent to, get advice on dealing with a person with dementia, and just have a coherent female to talk to!

On most discount-Tuesdays, I see a movie showing late morning or middle of the day. Before Craigslist eliminated the personals column, I had an ad looking to meet a man or woman to share movies with and/or become friends.

Meeting a man didn’t happen, (only a couple first meetings). I did meet one lady in her 70’s who lives nearby. We’ll have breakfast now and then and visit a while, chat through emails too but we’re very different.

Through my therapist I met another lady, also in her 70’s, whom I no longer see. No compatibility there – she stopped contacting me after we met three times. I’m thinking she wasn’t comfortable with my situation.

Then, five weeks ago, on a dating site, I met a man I have started spending a little time with–three dates since our initial coffee meeting.

He’s 66 and lives an hour’s drive away, so I’m not sure if either of us will be able to keep seeing each other on a regular basis, since the long drive up and back triggers my arthritis pain in my hands and shoulders, and I don’t have a lot of money for gas.

Plus, he knows I don’t live in my own home, so our dates down here are in the park or out for meals. I don’t feel comfortable having him over here – yet. Even if/when I do, it’s not my house.

This week, my therapist gave me some info about an Alzheimer’s support group here in my town. They meet on the fourth Saturday every month for two hours, at a nearby senior living facility. Hopefully that will help me too. Might even meet other ladies there to become friends with.

All of this doesn’t completely ‘fix’ my loneliness issues, because when I’m back in the house, the issues wash over me all over again, but I’m doing my best to overcome loneliness every day and think positively.

Tom’s final take: It’s important for caregivers to stay in contact with as many friends and family members as they can. Senior social interaction is critical. Althea made that clear. And her reminder to think positively is just as critical.

Overcoming senior loneliness

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter – April 6, 2018

The key to overcoming single senior loneliness and the blues

At the end of last week’s newsletter, I asked Champs for their opinions on senior loneliness, and what can be done to lessen it.

As I read the comments, I realized that many of the suggestions for overcoming loneliness were almost identical to tips we’ve stated before regarding how to improve one’s chances for meeting a potential mate.

Here are a few of the valuable suggestions from last week:

Thyrza, California, said, “I think loneliness happens to any age, gender or what have you in life. I was very lonely when my parents moved me with them away from my friends.

“I felt a touch of loneliness when I was a full-time, stay-at-home mom. Now at my age, a widow living alone, loneliness still creeps in. It does not bother me as much as when I was younger with my responsibilities as mom and wife.

“Loneliness affects everyone, but I learned that freedom to do what I want with my life released me from that feeling. I know it will always be part of one’s life but the freedom to act to get out of the loneliness rut is to be embraced. Embrace loneliness and know when to release the feeling. It is just a feeling anyway.”

Jackie, Tampa, Florida, emailed, “Loneliness is the biggest challenge for me as a single. I don’t mind eating out or traveling alone, but sometimes it would be nice to have a companion to share the experiences with.

“I don’t have many female friends who are financially able to travel or go out much. And I’m not a spendthrift, but I would enjoy spur-of-the moment road trips or dinner and a movie with a friend. Before I die, I would love to be in a mutually loving, supportive, and respected relationship.

Esther, Brooklyn, New York, “As a single woman, retired teacher, with no children and little family, I understand how loneliness can be a destructive force if not well addressed. To avoid loneliness, there are several things I do:

-Maintain contact with a small group of close friends with whom I share birthdays, holidays and life events

-Volunteer at the local library, museum and Botanical Garden

-Work as a private English tutor three days a week

-Interact with people of all ages with various needs. My local college offers a broad lifelong learning program with varied courses, travel opportunities and cultural events. I am an active participant

“Never miss a regularly scheduled appointment whether it be a dental, medical or beauty appointment

“Living in New York City, I am able to attend many, diverse cultural and social events. The Harbor Fitness, a state-of-the-arts gym near me, offers a fabulous ‘silver sneakers’ program for people over 55. I work out and socialize regularly.

“Through the internet, I keep in contact with old friends and relatives who live far away. Mainly, I do not feel alone. I am busy, significant and connected!”

Jon, Olympia, Washington, “The reason loneliness can be such a problem is we are ingrained with the philosophy that we must have another person in our lives to be ‘whole.’  Obviously, this is not the universal answer, citing the number of people in miserable marriages and a high divorce rate.

“Doing things in which a person finds fulfillment–not solely to be busy and taking up time–can reduce the feeling that they need an intimate relationship with another person. A few close friends can help make up the difference.”

JoAnn, “Get a dog.  Best friend, a laugh and cuddle a day!”

Jack of All Trades, “On LONELINESS as a health issue: I’m glad the surgeon general has declared loneliness as an epidemic. If all goes well, this will lead to more programs for companionship and enjoyment for older people. On the other hand, it might backfire in some way—causing problems for the lonely. Better awareness of old-age loneliness ought to be a good thing.

“(But probably nothing will alleviate the problem of adult children more interested in ‘their’ money than in their parents’ happiness.)”

Bonnie, California, wrote, “I have great compassion for those experiencing loneliness; It is debilitating.

“I have been able to mostly escape that condition because I am an only child. Without playmates under my roof during my growing-up years, I had to invent my own fun. Creativity, reading, and writing were my friends.

“Now, at 64, and a single, empty-nester mom, those are also my adult enjoyments. I work full-time as a designer and read and write at every opportunity. I also love to travel solo, because my interests are specific, and I like to be able to pace myself and my energy as I go. For that reason, I avoid travel tours.”

“However, if I was seeking companionship, I would reach out to the cultural community and volunteer as a docent. Or at an animal shelter and offer two times a week to give love to the yet-to-be adopted pets.

“Or, save for a river cruise on the Seine. Always, always have something to look forward to. Open your home to a once-a-month pot luck dinner. Drive for Meals on Wheels. (My 96-old uncle still drives and serves others!) Give time at your house of worship.

“Take a free class at a local college. Your calendar will be bursting at the seams with interesting tasks and interesting people and new ideas. And others will be blessed by your contributions.”

Tom’s comment:

There is one key that ties these pieces—overcoming loneliness, combating boredom, and improving one’s chances of meeting a potential mate–together. I wrote about the key in the final eNewsletter of 2017, which was titled, “The five things I’ve learned in three years of retirement.”

That key: seniors must have senior social interaction with people. That is the most important thing I’ve learned in retirement.

          Senior social interaction–absolutely essential for seniors

That December, 2017, newsletter included these three paragraphs: 

“If retired people let socializing with others slip away–they might be sitting around the house or watching too much mindless TV, for example–their retirement will become boring, lonely and meaningless. To be too isolated is not good for one’s health.

“A good way to interact with people is by joining groups. Meetup.com lists thousands of groups and activities and should provide plenty of ideas for people not sure what to do to meet others.

“And one last thing about senior social interaction after retirement. Try to mix social interaction with younger people into your life—kids, grand kids, great grand kids, for example, or friends younger than yourself can keep you thinking young. That’s very important.”

Years ago, a woman said to me, “I’ve been married and unhappy, and single and unhappy. Being single and unhappy is better, in that I can more readily do something about it by getting out of the house and involved in activities I enjoy. I can interact with and meet new people. Whereas, being married and unhappy, isn’t something you can change overnight. Social interaction is more difficult. Divorce takes its toll in time, stress and money.”

So, if you are feeling lonely, get out there and make social interaction a high priority.

Note from Tom Blake

Similar articles to the one above by Tom Blake appeared in these three newspapers


Dana Point Times Newspaper April 13, 2018


San Clemente Times Newspaper April 12, 2018


The Capistrano Dispatch Newspaper April 13, 2018