On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter – November 29, 2019
Divorced man’s view on dating at after 60
by columnist Tom Blake
Note from Tom: I hope you all had a pleasant Thanksgiving. I was thinking of taking a break this week from writing an eNewsletter and then I thought, why? Especially, when I have a nice story about a man who just became a Champ (an eNewsletter subscriber) and how he views the dating scene.
Women often state they seldom read about single guys and their dating dramas, so I decided to share one with you on the day after Thanksgiving.
A divorced man’s view on dating at 62
As a senior dating columnist, my job is never boring.
Danny, a new Tom Blake’s Champ (eNewsletter subscriber), emailed, “I enjoy reading your column in the Dana Point Times. Online dating, while better than walking into a bar cold, is frustrating indeed. I’m sure many women feel the same way.
“I’m 62, divorced five years, with three grown sons. I’m active, healthy, gainfully employed and live locally. I’ve tried Match.com, Our Time, Plenty of Fish; they are all the same.
“Having been online for a while, I am picky and not willing to settle. If it feels right, I’m in. If it doesn’t, I’m like, “Check please!”
“A lot of one-and-done meet ups. Met one woman that seemingly had high potential. After several months, it fizzled out.
“I want to attend your monthly Meet and Greets in Dana Point. Sounds like you need more men, so the odds sound good! When is the next one?
(Thursday, December 12, 5 to 7 p.m. Tutor and Spunky’s Deli, 34085 Pacific Coast Highway, no admission cost, free appetizers, beer and wine $5)
“Attached is my online dating profile summary, and a recent picture.”
I viewed Danny’s picture and profile. I selected a few items from his profile to illustrate what this senior single man says he has to offer and what he hopes for in a relationship.
He wrote, “I’m seeking a long-term relationship with a special woman. I’m a romantic optimist and believe in love and passion and treating a woman with respect and kindness–while being a chivalrous gentleman. Believe in going slow and let the relationship develop on its own.
“If the chemistry is there, great things will happen naturally, and it will be wonderful! I subscribe to honesty, trust, good character, faithfulness, and sincerity.
“I enjoy a healthy dose of Irish humor. Like to laugh and have fun. Not into drama and endless dating with no future.
“Enjoy cooking and a nice glass of wine. I’m emotionally available and ready to build a meaningful relationship.”
I responded to Danny, “Your profile is impressive. Being a gentleman and emotionally available are so important.
“A handsome man your age shouldn’t have to rely on Internet dating to meet someone. There are hundreds of single, available, desirable age 60-plus women in south Orange County.
“At our November Meet and Greet, widowers, widows and divorced men and women attended. One lovely woman from San Clemente was asked by two different men if they could walk her to her car. She handled the two offers graciously.
“May I write about you in the Dana Point Times, San Clemente Times and The Capistrano Dispatch?”
Danny responded: “BREAKING NEWS: The ex-girlfriend I met on Match.com just texted me and wants to meet. I’m not sure what her intentions are, or where meeting her might go. If things were to take off with her again, the last thing I need is my dating profile in the three newspapers you write for.
I responded, “OK, we’ll wait.” And then immediately I sent him a copy of the “breadcrumbed” eNewsletter from two weeks ago. And then I sent the follow up article with the 20 comments from Champs about the breadcrumbed article.
Two days later, Danny wrote: “I picked her up at the airport last night. We had dinner talking about mostly meaningless stuff. She isn’t sure she even wants to date right now.
“Today, I expected a text from her saying thanks for the ride home from the airport, dinner and drinks, but there was no text from her. Nothing. The silence was deafening. So, it’s okay to run my story.”
Did Danny feel he’d been breadcrumbed? I think so, and from the information I had received, I think he was.
For women in Southern California, to meet Danny and other fine gentlemen, attend the December 12, Meet and Greet at Tutor and Spunky’s Deli, in Dana Point, California.
Or, to contact Danny, email me at email@example.com; I will forward it to him. Remember, he’s in So Cal and most likely isn’t interested in a long-distance relationship. So, if you live in Bangor, Port St. Lucie, Fargo, or Victoria B.C., or other faraway places, I wouldn’t contact him. That’s just my opinion.
Writing about senior dating is never dull.