Conflicted over senior dating – On Life and Love after 50

Revisting Alzheimer’s and Dating

NL APRIL 24, 2026

On Life and Life After 50 eNewsletter

Columnist Tom Blake

RESPONSES TO HOPE LIVES ON

Last week, I wrote about Ann and Ben again. They represent a difficult, heart-wrenching issue seniors sometimes face: Dating when one of the couple’s spouses has severe dementia or Alzheimer’s Disease.

Previously, when we wrote about Ann and Ben’s first meeting a couple of years ago, most people disapproved of their relationship. But last week, Ann updated the situation and the responses were much more sympathetic to the couple continuing to see each other once per week or so.

Here are 12 responses (11 from women; one from a man):

Wayne shared, “Ann might want to ask Ben what his intentions are once his wife passes. Some need a mourning period after a loved one passes while others are ready to resume dating right away. I think she deserves an answer so she can prepare herself; it will also flush out how strong his feelings are towards Ann.

Francine said, “I’d like to put in my two cents. Ben is in a very stressful situation with his wife still living in the same home and ill with dementia. Of course, his first thought should be her.

“Having broken a date with Ann and then waiting for a few months to get back in touch with her, I would not trust him. I think he just needs someone to help fill the void in his life.

“I’ve had three men break off during the initial dating…married 2 and it ended in divorce. Now…my experience is not hers. Being teenagers and holding hands? Meeting once a week? You can’t build a relationship on that…there needs to be more intimacy.

“I’d suggest that Ann ask Ben that when his wife passes away, what are his plans for him and Ann? I’d be outspoken and direct. Unfortunately, both men and women can string you along, and have no problem walking away as you are simply the ‘interim’ person.

“I’m never a doom and gloom person but I’ve met way too many men. Plus, Ben’s wife might live for a long time. What would be Ben’s plans to advance his and Ann’s relationship further should that happen.

“We are not teenagers and our time on earth is limited as well. If Ann stays with Ben along this same road, I’d suggest she also date other men.”

Pat added, “Love is hard to find in any form. Ann and Ben seemed to have found a way to care for and love each other. It is not our place to judge. I wish them well and that someday they can truly spend quality time together!

“I believe in this “Love everyone…I will sort them out later. God”

Belinda, emailed, “Thanks for sharing Ann and Ben’s story.

“I know there will be many Champs who disagree with me, but I think Ann and Ben have EVERY RIGHT to find their happiness where they can at this late stage of life — assuming that Ben’s wife is provided for, whether that be by him, or in a quality care facility. HE IS STILL ALIVE, HIS LIFE GOES ON.

“When a loved one is incapacitated to the point where they are not going to get well and come back to normal brain functioning, that door is closed for their spouse or partner. Regardless of Ben providing great care for his wife, she is NOT going to get better over time.

“Why should the competent and still-able partner suffer along with them, giving up many years, even decades of what could’ve been the best time of their life?

“I think Ann and Ben are lucky to have found one another, and they obviously have a loving bond.

“Think about this, too: the bond Ben has with Ann is probably one of the major things in his life that pulls him through this time emotionally and mentally, giving him something to look forward to and YES, a reason for living, staying healthy, and being better able to manage his complicated situation.

“As Seniors, this is our time in life, the one we worked for so very hard over many years. Everyone deserves to be as happy as their situation allows. Ben is responsible and respectful when he’s with his wife and he provides her with loving care, as I’m sure he will continue to do for the remainder of her life.

“He’s also deserving of his own happiness and his own future.

I think Ann and Ben are doing JUST FINE.

Thyrza, “My heart goes out for both of them. I believe Ann can have a platonic but loving relationship with Ben. If I were in her shoes, I wouldn’t feel bad nurturing such a relationship.”

Jan added, “Ann, take all you can get. Life’s too short to be alone. I have friends with Alzheimer’s and most of the time they’re not here anymore. Why should the husband be miserable? Enjoy every precious moment together.”

Kaitte, “I’ve worked with Alzheimer clients. It’s hard, a no joke situation. Having an outside relationship is healthier for the one left behind. Isolation and loneliness are not mentally or physically healthy. Ben does the best he can by lovingly caring for his wife. This situation gives him the support and love to be able to cope with it. And, it keeps him sane.

Carolyn, “Oh My! I absolutely appreciate this most looked forward to eNewsletter from you Tom. What a quandary Ann is in right now! It is heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. If Ben’s wife was not living in the same home where he lives, it would be a much better outcome for both Ann and Ben.

“Ben is ridden by guilt because after his lovely day with Ann, he has to go back home and see his still living but Alzheimer’s ridden wife. This situation is not a healthy one for sure. Ann is somewhat in a holding pattern waiting for the demise of Ben’s wife. This is not healthy for either of these lovely people. They are both caught between a rock and a hard place.

“Tom, what are your thoughts on this situation? Ann has so much more life to live with someone who would be present for her all the time. There are no guarantees in life, however, we can control the situations that we become involved in. Ann has become Ben’s therapist and sidepiece! It’s definitely not good for Ann!

“Thank you for always keeping the Champs up to date on these most thought-provoking issues! Whew! This is certainly a tough one indeed!”

S (a woman Champ), stated, “Has Anne verified that the wife indeed has Alzheimer’s? If true and advanced, I see nothing wrong with the relationship.”

Lynn, “What happened to ‘in sickness and in health, until death do us part?”

“I wonder how Ann or Ben would feel if they were the spouse in the care center?

“I’m confused, is this an on-line dating story? It seems to me that Ben likely misrepresented himself and Ann let herself be swept in?

Tom’s comment. Lynn, that isn’t what happened. Ben didn’t know Ann. He told a neighbor he was lonely. He did not misrepresent himself. He told Ann about his situation. Ann was lonely and yes allowed herself to fall in love, as so many of us have ‘allowed ourselves’ to do in our lives, when we’ve met someone, we were attracted to.

To comment on Lynn’s statement below, Ben treats his wife amazingly well dealing with her 10 years of dementia, with 24/7 caregivers.

Lynn continued, “Ann refers to Ben asking to end the relationship as a ‘one-day setback’, like he missed taking the trash out once. He clearly asked for an end to the relationship!

“I’m sure Ann can and will do what she wants to do, but this Tom catting (no pun intended) around is ridiculous. I for one am NOT buying what Ben is selling! In the event these two continue to carry on this relationship, does Ann think Ben will not treat her the way he is treating his current wife?

“WOW…that was a jaw dropper!”

New. “I don’t see anything wrong with Ann deciding to be with this man knowing all his story; he sounds like a real good man and taking care of his wife through all her bad health is commended.

Virgina shared: Today people live longer. The marriage vow, “till death do us part” can be a cruel punishment. If one mate no longer has mental capacities to recognize and interact with a life mate, maybe we should take a good hard look at that vow, so it is adjusted to today’s longevity and health issues. Various religious beliefs and certain ancient rules and laws need to change with the times.

Hope Lives On

On Love and Life After 50 eNewsletter

April 17, 2026

Columnist Tom Blake

On January 10, 2025, the eNewsletter was titled, “False Hope.” It was about a Champ named Ann, not her true name, who wrote that she had met a man named Ben (name changed also) whose wife had had Alzheimer’s Disease for 10 years.Ben’s wife still lived at home under his care. On Christmas Day, 2024, Ben contacted Ann and they met for a glass of wine that day and found they were attracted to each other, especially Ann attracted to Ben.

Ann emailed me often in early 2025 about her encounters with Ben. On May 26, 2025, Ann emailed me, “I heard from Ben on Mother’s Day, remember him with the Alzheimer wife? He lovingly wished me happy Mother’s Day and, of course, I was over the moon.

The next eNewsletter, January 17, 2025 (Both eNewsletters can be read on my FindingLoveAfter50.com website, featured 22 responses from Champs about the brief encounter Ann had with Ben. Almost all responses felt Ben was cheating on his wife and Ann was totally out of line.

“I thanked him and said I thought of him and hoped he was well. He also texted me on Easter, this coming from a man who wanted the door closed. I responded.

Last week, she emailed again.

“I have no idea how his wife is doing, apparently, she’s still here and things might be the same. I think you know how I feel about Ben; he is still the one for me.”

“Then, in the evening he responded to my text and said he also thought of me and here comes the next thing that sent me shivers, he said maybe someday we can go out for dinner.

Ann emailed me several times in 2025 and early 2026, always writing about Ben.

“I have been seeing Ben, I believe I wrote you after he bailed again but I did not follow up with what happened after. The next day, after the breakup, he texted me, it was heartbreaking to read how he poured out his heart.

“He said he didn’t know what had come over him, that life was so stressful with his wife still alive, but lovingly taken care every day and night.

“Ben said he had deep feelings for me and didn’t want to lose me, could I please forgive him and could we talk. We did and got some things straightened out; I felt more understanding as this continues to be a difficult situation for us both.

“Ben tries hard to include me in his life; he has a very busy business plus he visits his wife (living separately in their home) a couple of times a day.

“He obviously loves her and makes sure she has every comfort possible; I love that about him as well as other things. You know Tom, I have loved Ben for over a year, and I believe he had strong feelings about me and decided last Christmas to visit me again.

“Tom, there is never a guarantee in life, not for me, not for you or anyone for that matter.

“I believe I told you about our reunion, we just flew into each other’s arms after 10 months and almost cried with joy.
He had that little one-day setback but promised to never hurt me again.

“Ben has been loving and considerate since, we have gone out to dinner, to lunch and we see each other once a week, sometimes like this week, twice for lunch.

“We visit each other’s homes, and I feel comfortable in his house.
He holds my hand during lunch, kisses me frequently and thinks I am eye candy, a cute expression he uses.

“As I mentioned, it’s not ideal, I want to see more of him but know the limits, don’t want to push it and let him talk about his pain, (his wife and both daughters he lost a few years ago).

“It now has been almost three months of being together, I know he loves me and I am loving him.

“I am older now, it feels right to be with Ben and one day, we can spend more time together once his wife is no longer with us.
I am grateful for this love.”

Trisha needs a therapist

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter

October 13, 2023

By Columnist Tom Blake

Conflicted over senior dating. Responses to Trish’s situation. She’s a disgruntled woman.

In last week’s eNewsletter, we wrote about Trish, 62, who divorced 10 years ago. By her own admission, she is “an angry woman” and questions whether she can ever love again.

And yet, almost daily, she sees a man who adores her, a Southern “roughneck” and a “redneck” as she described him, who helps her for free with maintenance projects around her house. There is no physical aspect to their relationship. She said she worries about hurting him.

Several Champs responded, sharing their opinions. Here’s what 12 women and four men (a 3-to-1 ratio) emailed.

What Women Said

The first response came from Champ Delores, who emailed, “I cannot imagine why a 62-year-old woman, or a 69-year-old man, would accept a no-physical-contact relationship. She truly does have deep-seated issues and if I were that ‘redneck’ man, I would run as fast as I could, since eventually, her obvious disdain of him will wear him down emotionally and mentally.

“Why do that to someone? Let the guy go! And to be angry at what one was ‘dealt’ to you 10 years ago? Take responsibility and move through it! I do not think feeling/acting the victim is a great way to show up for your grown children.”

Margaret, “No physical stuff. She must be kidding.”

Kaitte, “I’m 71, single for 23 years, living at a poverty level, but doing ok. I can’t imagine living with anyone full-time. I don’t want to be responsible to anyone.

“Trish, talk to him and be honest by laying all your cards on the table and let the chips fall where they may. If he wants to set you up financially, he can do so without marriage. If you can’t imagine life without him, go for it.”

Deanne, “Here I sit, widowhood wiped out my confidence and I just can’t get out there and flirt. I know I’d be a good catch, but it seems like I’m starting all over as that anxious teenager.

“I was with my husband for 33 years and never realized how time flew. I’ve got to get back on the horse. I think I might need a wingman and all my friends are married and live out of state. I truly appreciate your wisdom and you are now a member of our loss club. I wish I had signed up for the Golden Bachelor.”

Terri, “Trish needs to see a therapist. A letter to a columnist may list the issues, but it doesn’t deal with the issues in the healthy way that sessions with a good therapist can. I hope she sees someone, it can make a world of difference in the quality of life, and in how we face the challenges of health, aging, and love.

“How do I know? Life has not always been kind, people have not always been kind, and I’ve survived lots of losses, survived serious health issues, and dealt with my life issues in therapy over the past several years.

“Get going, Trish! Nothing is promised in life, but life can be very good!”

Susie, “Trish’s story is similar to mine, and it hit home. I could not express my feelings as she did in her message to Tom. I am much older than her, but hope I can feel the magic again.”

Virgina, “Trish needs psychological assistance to get herself straightened out. So many mismatched red flags: her lifestyle that she has never adjusted to but is physically and unfortunately now committed to. She does not embrace her current physical surroundings because of past roots and her social upbringing lifestyle, which seems to be on the opposite end of the social spectrum than his. This is a big red flag, even if they were both in love, which they are not.

“The future for happiness does not bode well. It’s not fair to keep him around just for the surface conveniences. He may be a redneck, but he should not be taken advantage of just because he’s found someone he considers would normally be ‘out of his reach.’

“Trish can find a good handy man, and rent a cruise boat if she wants, but give this man a chance to find happiness emotionally, let him go for his own sake before it’s too late in life for him to do so.

“You were right, Tom, to direct Trish to seek the help she obviously needs with a professional counselor. Life is too short and unpredictable to spend years unwinding so many unsolved issues at our age.”

M (woman Champ), “Regarding the Bob Seger In Your Time lyrics, mine is that life Seger sings about, and my life isn’t easy, but I’ll get through it. I’m doing all I can to cope but now I’m in the throes of the storm. And I know that in the long run, my life will be better than it is now. I’m working very hard to meet the challenges.”

Rhen, “I’m guardedly happy for her but God ‘Gave’ her to him? She seems as she has discovered herself and is set to respond and initiate life beautifully. But she is too self-focused to realize she should let this guy go! Then you have a man who views their time together so deeply differently that it seems heartbreaking to continue such an endeavor.

“Her words jerked me back and forth as she went on. Show this poor man some mercy and let him go find a lady who will embrace his giving spirit and talents. I’d also bet he has some needs that are being unmet because he’s thinking his God has him serving her.”

S, “If you don’t love-’em, you’re using-’em, period. She needs to work on whatever demons haunt her. It’s interesting that she works in mental health.”

Regina, “Reading about Trish’s situation, I thought of the saying, “One woman’s trash is another’s treasure,” because she just isn’t feeling it for the dude. I want that guy! She should let him loose and give me his number!”

Laurie Jo, “What the HELL is wrong with this woman? Good grief! I’m so upset at her! I can’t even keep typing. Maybe more tomorrow when I’m more cogent and less mad.”

What male Champs said

Larry, “I feel this lady has not been direct and honest about the extent of her negative feelings. If she has him read your column and he still sticks around, he is a masochist! She is stringing him along because she has no other current options.”

Art, “I look forward to your weekly column and always find it interesting. I especially enjoyed this week’s edition since I have dated many women after I was widowed in 2007. After a few months of mourning, I joined Meetup.com, and POF (Plenty Of Fish).

“I have since dated at least 35 women, some once-and-done” lunches, where I always picked up the tab, and a few became long-lasting friendships and relationships.

“I have had numerous other relationships over the years, and another one was over before it fully blossomed.

“I am now dating a woman who used to live in my development and has now moved to a very large condo development of over 8,000 residents, which is 15 minutes from my home. We have known each other for more than 10 years. She is 78; I am 85.

“We go to the gym together three times a week, and to dinner each night after the gym. She occasionally makes dinner for me, and both of us love musical theater. We have seen at least a dozen shows, and currently have tickets to four shows in the coming months.

“We are best friends and I do not want to lose her by seeing someone else on the side. At my age, I am OK with being in the friend zone.

“Before my wife died, she and I were talking in our den. She said, “Art, I know I am going to die, and I want you to go out and have a life after I’m gone”. I tried to tell her that I thought she could remain alive for a long time, but since she had early-onset Alzheimer’s disease, I knew she was right.

“I think every one of us has to live the life we feel is best for us, but not close our minds to change.”

Jim, “Trish wants validation but not romance. I think she is wasting her time with this guy she calls a hick when she might meet the right guy for her if she can open up and not be so closed-minded. She doesn’t have it for the guy. She will never have it for this guy. But I did like how you handled it. Maybe this is good for her since she may be opening up in her own way slowly.”

David, “Trish simply does not trust a man, men if you will. Trish’s memories have now become an invisible wall, an invisible barrier, handicapping her from being able to savor life.”

A Troubled Senior Woman

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter
October 6, 2023
A Troubled Senior Woman Seeks Answers
She is conflicted over senior dating
By Columnist Tom Blake

In last week’s eNewsletter, I asked Champs to email me their stories, questions, and observations. One woman, Trish, wanted to share her story. Her story was so captivating, it’s today’s article. It’s three of her emails spliced together. It’s lengthy and complex.

As I read what Trish wrote, I realized her story was far beyond my reach as a relationship columnist. She has deep-seated issues that need attention. I asked Trish for her permission to share her information confidentially with a therapist friend of mine. Trish agreed. You will see in Trish’s email below why I felt this way.

Trish wrote, “I’ve been reading your newsletter for years. I’ve been divorced for 10 years and was in a serious relationship that ended four years ago.

“I am now seeing a man who has pursued me for three years. We dated for almost a year, and I ended it, but he’s back after patiently waiting for me. We ran into each other a few months ago and have seen each other every day since; he adores me.

Tom’s comment: (I added the italics and boldface to the two sentences below for clarity and emphasis.) “My concern is that I’m not capable of that kind of feeling. I’m happy to be with him for the most part, I just can’t envision a whole life with him as he does. We are both fit and healthy.

“He has an incredible and beautiful faith in God and has put my own spiritual journey on a path that is so different and amazing.

“He’s felt from day one when we met that God put me on his path to love and care for me. He waited patiently before asking me out on his boat for an afternoon. Then again, and again.

“His faith allows him to overlook the differences in our feelings towards each other because he feels very strongly that God ‘gave’ me to him for him to care for me.

“Is it wrong to continue in a relationship where there is an imbalance of feelings? I’m afraid of hurting him, I’m 62, he’s 69. He is extremely generous with money and talent. He works on my home, my real true love (lol). I don’t have much to give in return. He is just happy to be with me. There is no physical contact, it isn’t an issue for either of us, so it’s more like best buddies.

“I’m a ‘rough-around-the-edges’ New Yorker. He’s a small-town Southern roughneck. He’s fun, quirky, and a bit of a character. We know the same people and most of them love it that we are back together. He sees marriage, I have no vision.

“I don’t think I can love again, but I most certainly care for him. I have zero interest in a physical relationship, I don’t have so much of myself to give. He has never made a move. We have a great time together; I just don’t really bring much to the table.

“I own my home and have been told I’m ‘sexy.’ I hate that and look 10 years younger. I have a great job that I love (in mental health). He lives on a houseboat, has a pontoon boat, and drives nice vehicles. He’s not unattractive; he’s been on his own for 13 years.

“We hadn’t seen each other for a year, he walked into a local pub where I was playing pool and it was amazing to see him and reacquaint. We have seen each other just about every day since.

“I was hurt 10 years ago to a level for which I can’t find words. I’ve risen above it financially and spiritually and found my peace with me alone, not lonely.

“I live in the South and find myself in another world, Tony world, that I mostly embrace. He’s a true ‘redneck’ with a Southern Drawl. I’m 62, he’s 69.

“He’s proposed a few times, more of a business transaction, as he thinks he will live past 100, but wants to make sure I am taken care of. I have no desire to find another man, I’ve got tons of opportunities, including ex-boyfriends from as far back as high school. Pisses me off that I wasn’t good enough then but now I am? Disgusting.

“As far as settling? I have a life, two amazing sons, that I raised on my own since they were 13 and 14. They have both launched successfully. I love my home albeit it needs some attention. He is always doing something around here for me.

“I have a career, a few bucks in the bank, not much, but I pay my bills. A small circle of friends, I’ll never trust or really fit in here. The people are basically all kind. I took up pool, lol, and am getting pretty good at it too! There is no real culture here. I don’t drive at night. A medium-sized city is 30 minutes away.

“I try to travel once a month, as my job is remote. Sometimes friends visit. He has a hard time ‘fitting in’ with people he hasn’t known his whole life, but he tries.

“I am happy for the most part. I struggle with thinking about the long term. This is not the life I imagined for myself. I am stuck in yearning for the days of an intact family, the holidays, and, the other parent helping me parent.

“I am a very angry woman at the deal that I got dealt. I have come a long way personally, but being in a relationship does trip some of my triggers. I don’t know how to be a ‘girlfriend.’ He has proposed to me three times, I just don’t see it, I can’t imagine what that would even look like.

“I remember your eNewsletter about being married and living apart. That I could probably handle, but why get married? I know he would love the whole commitment thing, but we both know how easily that can disappear.

“But, the original question was is it wrong to stay in a relationship where I can’t drum up feelings for him, or probably anybody? I care for him, I enjoy the times we have together and have learned how to adapt when I start to get triggered by the negative thoughts that invade from time to time. The first time we were together it was constant, this second time they were just whispers and not screams. Maybe that’s progress? Maybe my standards have lowered?

“He expresses constant adorations, affirmations, and just pure joy about ‘us.’ He prays over us every night before he leaves my house and thanks God for me. He has taken my spiritual journey to a whole higher level and that is what I adore about him.

“Here is what I don’t adore about him. He has no ‘class.’ I know that’s mean, but I could have dinner at the White House with a few hours’ notice.

“He, not so much. The intellect and the culture are just not there, even if he exudes confidence, it’s at a much smaller level.

“Is this what compromise is supposed to be? Is this enough? The idea of finding or being found by another man is not something I want to do. I honestly just don’t think I have the energy for it. The online dating thing was just pure entertainment for me, so silly.

“Also, the idea of having to be physical is a ‘hard no’ for me. He obviously is not interested either.

“In this little town where I live, residents think a great steak dinner is at LongHorn Steakhouse, and other than KFC, there aren’t many places to go. So, meeting someone here would be very challenging as well. The other thing I struggle with is my two boys seeing their mom dating. They like him; they see how good he is to me and appreciate that.

“This email I wrote to you has been very therapeutic. I appreciate the opportunity to get this all out.

Tom’s response to Trish. “You said you were surprised I invested so much time into responding to you. That’s true, I have never answered anyone to that extent before. But, I could feel your pain and frustration. Please be proud of yourself for what you’ve accomplished on your own.

“It’s good that you live near your son and you two are close. I’m certain both of your boys (men now) appreciate all you’ve done for them.

“My quick initial take on your question is. As long as you and your rough-neck friend discuss the situation beforehand, and he knows there is no marriage in the future, and you have laid all the cards on the table, and he understands the torture you’ve been through, let it be.

“My psychotherapist friend Debbie will respond to you privately.”

“As often happens, your story and your energy remind me of the words from the Bob Seger song, “In Your Time.” Search for it on Google and listen to the words. This song could become your mantra.”

Conflicted over senior dating. Still Fence-Sitting

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter

By Senior Dating Columnist Tom Blake

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter
July 14, 2023
A Champ is Conflicted about Senior Dating By Columnist Tom Blake

Part 1 – Conflicted. Still Fence-Sitting

Champ Candace emailed this week, “I’ve followed your eNewsletter for many years, took a short break when I got remarried at age 60. Let’s just say, that was a mistake. My husband did a full 360 once we were married. Even my adult children said the man I divorced was not the same man I married. Lesson learned.

“I doubt I’ll ever get married again. My first marriage lasted 18 years and gave me two incredible children and now four fantastic grandchildren.

“I find so many ways to keep busy–reading, cooking, sewing, and quilting. I make a lot of items to gift to friends and donate. Quilting to donate makes me happy and saves my sanity. I do enjoy going out to dinner or to a movie with friends. LOVE to dance but haven’t found a dance partner that only wants to dance. Ha!

“Is there something wrong with me for not wanting a relationship at this stage of my life? Have I been soured on romance by past relationships? It’s a lot of work to sift through all the online profiles and figure out who’s truthful and who isn’t. I don’t have the drive or energy to do that again.

“I see older couples, walking hand in hand, looking very happy, which would be very nice. I never thought I’d be 68 and alone. Give me a pep talk, or tell me I’m ok, just the way I am. Feeling very conflicted.”

Tom’s Response: “Thanks for writing. You are fine the way you are–IF YOU ARE TRULY HAPPY.

“However, I think you are asking for my opinion for a reason. You’d like to find love again. Let me know your thoughts about that.

“Keeping busy as you are doing is important. However, should you start dating, you might need to tweak your schedule to free up some time to make yourself more available to spend time with a new partner. Not all the time, but enough time to enjoy each other.

“What does a dance partner only mean? Sounds like you don’t want a physical relationship. Is that true? Many older men still want a physical relationship, along with the friend aspect. And some women do as well. If you want ‘friends only,’ some men will pass on dating you because they want intimacy.

“Yes, online dating and senior dating is work, but for some people, who end up meeting a mate, the effort is worth it.

“Have you soured on romance because of your past experiences? Perhaps, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find a new love that might please you and warm your heart.

“At 68, you are young. You have lots of life to live. Don’t simply fret about it, wondering what to do. Start slowly, with simple networking. It doesn’t have to be a big agonizing decision. Tell your friends and family members you’d like to start dating. Ask them if they know of any single guys who might enjoy meeting you.

“Marriage. Some seniors, many actually, do not want to marry again; I sure don’t. People can have a rewarding relationship without marriage. My partner Greta and I were not married and yet enjoyed 25 incredible years together. Both of us had been married three times before.

“Older couples walking together holding hands. You say that would be nice. Doing that is within your grasp, it will take time and energy to be out and about, and maybe even online.”

Candace, “Tom, thanks for the response. You’ve given me food for thought. Think I’m sitting on the fence right now. I’ll mull your thoughts and reply again soon. Here’s what I know for sure:

“Marriage – No thanks. I like having my own space to retreat to. Plus doing all the legal name change items is a real hassle. Nope.

“I’m financially comfortable, don’t need anyone to support me.

“So, finding someone to be a companion for going out to various functions would be lovely.

“If, there could be a spark, who knows where that could lead? I’m still fence-sitting!”

Candace has promised that she’ll keep us informed of her decision. We need to help her get off the fence.

Part 2 – Tom’s Interview with Gary Scott Thomas

Back in March, I was interviewed for about 45 minutes by a former well-known Country and Western DJ–Gary Scott Thomas. I mentioned it in the eNewsletter in March but it didn’t air until this past Wednesday.

Gary wanted me to talk about my book, “Prime Rib & Boxcars. Whatever Happened to Victoria Station?” And about my working with Johnny Cash for a couple of years. And then a bit about my writing on the senior dating topic.

It’s strictly a verbal interview, there is no video, which I discovered later when I learned that my desktop computer does not have a camera on it (no wonder it was so cheap to purchase). Had I been on my laptop, there would have been video and audio.

In case any Champs are interested in listening to 48 minutes or so of me talking about my past, while not getting bored, or falling asleep, you can click on this link. https://garyscottthomas.com/tom-blake/ Be sure you start the interview at minute 2:19. Again, I apologize there is no video.

Tom’s interview with Gary Scott Thomas