Man In Black, – On Life and Love after 50

Why Tom Needs a Break

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter
March 13, 2026
by Columnist Tom Blake

Last Friday, the eNewsletter featured Debbie in an Ask The Therapist article about the importance of communication for couples. I was surprised that so many men responded, albeit briefly. Here are four comments from men.

An Orange County man stated, “Debbie’s article was very helpful for me. I know I need to talk some things out with my lady friend, but I don’t speak up because I want to keep the peace. Timing is important too. The way I communicate is key as well. Thanks, Debbie, for your help.”

Wayne emailed, “Debbie, “You were a great pinch hitter…excellent column. Thank you.”

Bill, “I liked your insight and smooth writing. Thank you for this very important and timely message.”

Terry, aka, the funny plumber, simply asked, “Tom, Are you okay?” He was responding to Debbie’s opening comment, which was: “Tom asked if I would write another episode of Ask the Therapist. He needed a bit of a respite after everything that has been going on in his life…”

Tom’s response to Terry “I’m fine, Terry, but I needed (and still do) a break. Please understand I’m not complaining—no whoa-is-me type of stuff.

“As many of you know, for 13 months, I’ve been trying to sell a property I’ve owned in Palm Springs for eight years. That meant lots of improvements and work projects. The property went into escrow three times and fell out. The real estate market in Palm Springs has been difficult. One of the reasons is that the Canadiens are avoiding renting or purchasing real estate out there.

They have always been a big part of the snowbird visitors and property owners. They aren’t traveling to the USA much these days. “So, there have been many time-consuming trips out there and back to Orange County. Thankfully, the property sold in late February. But all furniture that had not been sold or disposed of was shipped home via professional movers to my Dana Point home.

“And lately, I’m working on preparing my tax returns for 2025. I know that sounds silly, as we all need to do that, but with two properties (Palm Springs was a rental) I got a bit behind in my tax record-keeping. Hopefully, I will finish that challenge this week.

“Plus, writing this eNewsletter weekly and my newspaper columns bi-weekly takes several hours each week. The publisher of those three papers does not permit me to write what I’ve written in my weekly eNewsletters.

“Also, taking time was a four-day trip to San Francisco to meet up with old Victoria Station Restaurant chain buddies as we attended a special Johnny Cash tribute concert at the Bohemian Club on February 26, with 400 male club members in attendance.

“The night of the concert, my buddies told a club member that I had known Johnny Cash. The man asked if I had read Johnny’s Man In Black autobiography (see photo above). I told him I had an autographed copy of the book at home. “When I returned home, I looked at the book and saw that Johnny’s autographed message to me was signed on August 15, 1975.The book had been published on August 1, 1975, so my copy was likely one of the first of that book that Johnny signed. Thirteen million copies of that book have been sold. “

So, enough about me and why Debbie said I needed a rest. As we age, we all need to take a break occasionally. To keep the eNewsletter chugging along, we need your questions, stories, and comments. Let me hear from you.

Cheri said, “I have a question referencing background checks… whom do I contact and how long does this take…I would appreciate your response asap…I love your articles and hope you’re well.”

Background checks. That’s an important topic for next week. Share your experiences and which company you would recommend.

The Man In Black

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter
September 22, 2023
By Columnist Tom Blake

**Jim, Debbie, Shawn (aka Johnny Cash), and Tom**

There are two parts to this week’s eNewsletter
Part 1 – The Man in Black at the Coach House in San Juan Capistrano, Ca

In 1980, I saw Johnny Cash perform live at the Coach House, which at that time was a new musical venue in San Juan Capistrano, California. His touring bus was parked alongside the building. I got to spend some time with him and June Carter on the bus that night before the show. Why? Because I knew Johnny and June well.

I worked with them from 1975-1977 when I was the marketing director for the Victoria Station restaurant chain. I hired Johnny to sing our radio commercials and to be our company spokesperson because of his love for trains. Our restaurants were built out of box cars and cabooses. (see link to website below).

My friend, Jim Fallon, 74, is a widower of one year after 47 years of marriage. We met at a grief share meeting and became buddies, sharing our grief and dating experiences.

Jim was aware of my friendship with Johnny Cash and asked if I’d like to see a tribute band called The Man In Black in concert at the Coach House a week ago Thursday night. I said yes. Jim, my friend Debbie Sirkin, and I enjoyed the show and much more. Let me explain the “much more” comment.

I wanted to meet Shawn Barker, who is Johnny Cash in The Man In Black Tribute Band, and spend time with him before the concert. I checked the Villam Rocks.com website, which manages Shawn, and reached out to their promotion manager, Joey Waterman. I explained who I was and told Joey about my association with Johnny. He very enthusiastically arranged for the pre-concert meeting with Shawn.

Not only did Debbie, Jim, and I get to meet privately with Shawn, but we also got to meet his four band members. The keyboard player, Thomas, is from Copenhagen, Denmark. The bassist player, Shayne, is from Albany, New York. Charlie the drummer is from Nashville, and the bass player Dean is from Australia. What a cool bunch of guys.

In 2006, I wrote and published a book titled, “Prime Rib & Boxcars. Whatever Happened To Victoria Station?” (see picture of book cover below). Three chapters in the book are devoted to my association and friendship with the Cash family.

I thought the five band members would enjoy learning what incredible people Johnny and June Carter Cash were from my perspective. Hence, I autographed and presented a book to Shawn and each of the four band members. They were happy with the gift.

(If you’d like an autographed copy of the book, email me and I will sign one and ship it for $16.98, which includes the book, shipping, taxes, handling, and standing in line at the post office to ship it (within the USA). If you purchase the book on Amazon.com, it would cost you $40.00+ and it won’t be autographed.)

The Coach House is located about 100 yards from the historical Mission San Juan Capistrano. Gary Folgner, the Coach House founder and still owner, opened the venue in 1980.

On last week’s visit there, I said hello to another old friend, Johnny the bartender, who has worked at the Coach House for 38 years.

The Tribute band led by Shawn was awesome. They played Orange Blossom Special, A Boy Named Sue, One Piece at a Time, Hey Porter, Get Rhythm, Folsom Prison Blues, Cry Cry Cry, Big River, Ghost Riders in The Sky, and, of course, the two biggies that Johnny Cash is known for, Ring of Fire, and I Walk The Line.

I was honored when Shawn introduced me to the audience as probably the only person there who had known Johnny. That was an honor. Several people from the audience introduced themselves after the show.

Also, the band’s version of Will The Circle Be Unbroken had people on their feet like they were at a revival meeting.

I had goosebumps most of the night. Johnny had taken me into San Quentin Prison for a concert in 1977 so when Shawn sang Folsom Prison Blues, I could really relate to the atmosphere inside the walls of Folsom.

Jim said, “The energy, talent, and personality of Shawn, aka The Man in Black, was breathtaking. He had the audience involved during the entire show. If you ever get a chance to see this The Man in Black Tribute band, do it.

“And keep an eye on upcoming performances at the Coach House. You’ll love the vibe there. Our food server Hollie is the best—so busy, so friendly, and smart. We in Orange County are truly blessed to have such a wonderful music venue in San Juan Capistrano. And, it’s usually packed with people aged 50 to 75. ”

Debbie said, “I felt like Johnny Cash was in the room, both in voice and charisma. The entire audience appeared to be as mesmerized as we were. I was so proud to have been with Tom, the only person in the room who actually knew Johnny.”

I know that my friends Johnny and June Cash were smiling from above that night, and I gave them a thumbs up from the Coach House, the venue where I had been with them in person, almost 45 years before.

After the show, near the exit door of the Coach House, Jim, Debbie, and I said goodbye to Shawn and complimented him on a memorable performance. Each of us felt a warm glow as we drove to our homes.

If you would like to hear Johnny Cash sing the Victoria Station 30-second radio commercials he recorded, go to the website www.vicsta.com. On the home page, near the top, you will see a white square with >> an arrow pointing to the right. click on it and you will hear Johnny sing 3 commercials.

Part 2 – Tom on a podcast
I was interviewed by Bela Gandhi, the founder of The Smart Dating Academy, on a podcast last week, which aired this past Monday. This is an audio and video podcast, so I’m seen for about an hour (wish I had smiled more and I hope I don’t put you to sleep). The link to the podcast is below.
https://youtube/TVQKfjQUxWs

The book Tom autographed to The Man In Black tribute band members

Jim, Debbie, Shawn (aka Johnny Cash), and Tom

Live at the Ryman

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter

By Tom P. Blake – columnist

August 26, 2022

LIVE AT THE RYMAN

**Man In Black by Johnny Cash autographed to Tom Blake on Aug 15, 1975**

In September 2019, when Ken Burns’ eight-part film series “Country Music” premiered on PBS, my partner Greta and I watched the series in two-hour segments. We loved it. After that, we started watching more country music programs on YouTube.

This Monday night, I turned on YouTube music while working on a Sudoku puzzle before going to sleep. YouTube music often presents us with a choice of country music selections based on our previous viewings.

I noticed Monday that “Country Music. Live at the Ryman,” was on and featured many of my favorite country music stars. I thought perhaps it was a segment from the 2019 “Country Music” series, but it wasn’t. It was a two-hour show, also produced by Ken Burns, that promoted the release of the upcoming 16-hour “Country Music” series.

“Live at the Ryman” was released in March 2019 and filmed at Nashville’s historic Ryman Auditorium, which was home to the Grand Ole Opry for 31 years until the Opry was relocated a few miles away in March 1974. Greta and I took a tour of the Ryman in 2017.

That Ryman tour touched me deeply as my friends Johnny and June Carter Cash, on March 15, 1974, sang the final Opry song at the Ryman, which was “Will the Circle Be Unbroken.” (Made popular by the Carter Family and others).

Many of you know that I worked with Johnny in 1975 and 1976 when I was the director of Marketing for the Victoria Station Restaurant Chain (restaurants were built of boxcars and cabooses–Johnny loved trains). Johnny agreed to do our radio commercials.

On the night that his band recorded the music for our commercials at the House of Cash recording studio in Hendersonville, Tenn., Johnny invited some of his friends to play along with the band. Band members included Carl Perkins (Blue Suede Shoes), Larry Gatlin of the Gatlin Brothers, Earl “Pool” Ball (piano), W.S. Holland (drums), and Marshall Grant (bass). I think Marty Stuart and Rodney Crowell were there as well. I got to meet them all.

While watching “Live at the Ryman” on Monday night, I started to feel a little nostalgic. Especially when Larry Gatlin sang my favorite Johnny Cash song, “Sunday Morning Coming Down (written by Kris Kristofferson). Once, at the Sahara Resort in Lake Tahoe, Johnny asked me before the show what my favorite song of his was. He opened the show by dedicating that song to me before an audience of 2,000 people.

I have remained friends with Rosanne Cash. When Rosanne sang on the show, “I Still Miss Someone,” a song her dad, Johnny, wrote for her, it was a real grabber for me.

Marty Stuart was on the show. He had played guitar for Johnny and was married to Cindy Cash, Rosanne’s sister for a while.

Seeing Vince Gill playing guitar on nearly every song, regardless of the artist singing was indicative of his versatility and talent. Gil has been a regular at the Grand Ole Opry for years.

When Greta and I were having a private VIP backstage tour at Opryland in 2017, we walked past Gill’s dressing room. He was there receiving lots of visitors, so we did not get to meet him. Our tour had been set up by Johnny’s long-time manager and dear friend of mine, Lou Robin, who was still overseeing Johnny’s royalties, 24 years after Johnny had passed away.

I got to know the Carter family well. Mother Maybelle was a sweetheart, and June’s sisters, Helen and Anita were always nice to me. Mother Maybelle played an instrument called The Carter Scratch. Her best-known song is “Wildwood Flower.”

Anita Carter, June’s sister, had one of the purest women’s voices in the history of country music. Her singing of the song “Peace In The Valley” was breathtaking. Anita’s husband, Bob Wootton, and I became buddies during the two years.

When “Live At The Ryman” ended with the entire cast returning to the stage, and singing, “Will the Circle Be Unbroken,” I nearly lost it. Rosanne was front and center and she and Dwight Yoakam were having fun up there together. Ken Burns was even on stage singing. I thought to myself, how fortunate I have been to have known so many of these talented people.

By the way, I was so captivated that I didn’t make one entry in the Sudoku puzzle!

In 2015, I published an eBook on Smashwords.com, titled, “The Johnny Cash I Knew. A Kind and Caring Man.” The 64-page book details my time spent with Johnny and June. It’s $2.99. I think you’d enjoy it. The link is below. Once it opens, type the book’s title in the search box.

Link: www.smashwords.com

As I often do, I include an appropriate song in my articles. There were many from which to choose but I think this version of “Will the Circle Be Unbroken” is exceptional, as many country music people are featured. Johnny opens the video. Watch for the picture of June Carter Cash near the end.

Link to “Will the Circle Be Unbroken”