eNewsletter – Page 3 – On Life and Love after 50

Tenting a house for termites

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter

Columnist Tom Blake

November 3, 2023

I considered skipping the newsletter this week. Why? So darn busy.

I won’t bore you with too many details but thought I’d fill you in instead of writing nothing. I’ll likely lose a few subscribers this week because I’m not writing directly about senior dating.

Why so busy? First, I’m having my Dana Point California home tented for termites, a condition most California homeowners have to deal with about every 10 years or so. I’ve owned the home for 33 years and have never had it tented.

However, lately, I’ve seen evidence of termites munching on my interior wood such as wings and sawdust on the floor. When tenting, all food, medicines, and supplements must be double bagged and taped, including food in pantries and refrigerators. It took me 12 hours to get that done.

The home must be vacated for three days until the tent is removed (see picture below with the tent enclosing the house). A Champ named Debbie requested I send her a picture of the tented house. I did; she responded.

“Beautiful colors!!! Anyone coming to see you will know which house is yours without the address!”

I responded, “And police helicopters will be able to pinpoint it.”

Debbie, “That’s definitely a plus.”

Palm Springs

So, Monday morning, I drove 2 ½ hours to my Palm Springs vacation home. Upon arrival, I discovered that a leak from the main water line to the house had not been repaired.

I had been previously informed that it had been fixed. Hence, the water was turned off. Without water, no dishes can be washed, no toilets can be flushed, and no plants can be watered. Hence, I had to bird dog that situation, which took three hours, and then almost a half day on Tuesday.

Finally, the leak was repaired. There were other home-improvement projects in Palm Springs as well. Busy, busy, busy. Okay, enough about what kept me from enjoying the swimming pool.

Thank you

Thanks to Champs and friends who sent condolences, thoughts, and prayers about the first anniversary (October 29) of the passing of my partner Greta Cohn.

Don Wert, Greta’s son-in-law, emailed: “Sad week for all of us. Thinking of you. I am with my friend Doug on his boat heading from San Diego to Cabo San Lucas. We plan to get there on Sunday.”

Hearing from Don was very special to me, which I won’t explain. Plus, I don’t think I’ve ever received a text from a small boat heading to Cabo.

I replied: “Thank you, Don. I’m in Palm Springs dealing with maintenance issues at my vacation home here. Back to Dana Point on Wednesday–after the termite tent is removed–to put the house back together.

Pat emailed: “This note is to acknowledge your first year without Greta. A lot of firsts for those of us who have lost people we love. It does get easier but there will always be that part of us that still hurts.

“I can say from experience that we can find joy and love again if we are open to it. And I believe you are. Somewhere a lovely woman is waiting to meet someone like you. She won’t replace Greta but will be someone that will help you heal and your heart will open and you’ll feel full once again.

“Losing my daughter earlier this year has been one of the most difficult times of my life. But I have a wonderful support system and I went to therapy which was an enormous help and continue to do the things I love.

“What would have been my daughter’s 54th birthday is coming up on Nov. 4 and I’m not sure how I will deal with it; It’s been an unknown path for me. But with Len by my side, I’ll get through it. We do have plans for that day that were made many months ago and we’re going to keep them. I think when we grieve, we must do what works best for us and everyone is different.

“Take care and remember that you were loved by a wonderful, kind, and caring woman and she will always be in your heart. She would want you to be happy as you would her if the situation was reversed.”

Note from Tom: Patricia and Len are the couple in Chapter 21 of my book, “How 50 Couples Found Love After 50.”

Champ Bruce Maag, Delphos, Ohio, the owner of Coins/Currency/and Collectibles (Northwest Ohio’s Largest Coin Shop), forwarded an email with a photo titled “Snow at Burt Lake last night).” Wow, early winter.

Thanks to Bruce for reminding us that winter is just around the corner. Perhaps, Bruce, your Buckeyes will be playing football against arch-rival Michigan in the snow.

And lastly, a woman named Erika surprised me by ordering two books. Why the surprise? I don’t sell many of those two books because they were published in 1997 and 2003 respectively.

Erika commented, “The books are a gift for my 59-year-old son who is looking for a ‘girlfriend’ and lives in the High Desert in Joshua Tree (California desert). I will be visiting him in late November.”

Tom’s comment: “Oh wow, a whole new market for senior dating books. Now being sought after by the next generation, descendants of our Champs.”

Thanks, everybody, for tolerating me being a bit silly today. Bless you all

Tom’s House Tented

The Man In Black

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter
September 22, 2023
By Columnist Tom Blake

**Jim, Debbie, Shawn (aka Johnny Cash), and Tom**

There are two parts to this week’s eNewsletter
Part 1 – The Man in Black at the Coach House in San Juan Capistrano, Ca

In 1980, I saw Johnny Cash perform live at the Coach House, which at that time was a new musical venue in San Juan Capistrano, California. His touring bus was parked alongside the building. I got to spend some time with him and June Carter on the bus that night before the show. Why? Because I knew Johnny and June well.

I worked with them from 1975-1977 when I was the marketing director for the Victoria Station restaurant chain. I hired Johnny to sing our radio commercials and to be our company spokesperson because of his love for trains. Our restaurants were built out of box cars and cabooses. (see link to website below).

My friend, Jim Fallon, 74, is a widower of one year after 47 years of marriage. We met at a grief share meeting and became buddies, sharing our grief and dating experiences.

Jim was aware of my friendship with Johnny Cash and asked if I’d like to see a tribute band called The Man In Black in concert at the Coach House a week ago Thursday night. I said yes. Jim, my friend Debbie Sirkin, and I enjoyed the show and much more. Let me explain the “much more” comment.

I wanted to meet Shawn Barker, who is Johnny Cash in The Man In Black Tribute Band, and spend time with him before the concert. I checked the Villam Rocks.com website, which manages Shawn, and reached out to their promotion manager, Joey Waterman. I explained who I was and told Joey about my association with Johnny. He very enthusiastically arranged for the pre-concert meeting with Shawn.

Not only did Debbie, Jim, and I get to meet privately with Shawn, but we also got to meet his four band members. The keyboard player, Thomas, is from Copenhagen, Denmark. The bassist player, Shayne, is from Albany, New York. Charlie the drummer is from Nashville, and the bass player Dean is from Australia. What a cool bunch of guys.

In 2006, I wrote and published a book titled, “Prime Rib & Boxcars. Whatever Happened To Victoria Station?” (see picture of book cover below). Three chapters in the book are devoted to my association and friendship with the Cash family.

I thought the five band members would enjoy learning what incredible people Johnny and June Carter Cash were from my perspective. Hence, I autographed and presented a book to Shawn and each of the four band members. They were happy with the gift.

(If you’d like an autographed copy of the book, email me and I will sign one and ship it for $16.98, which includes the book, shipping, taxes, handling, and standing in line at the post office to ship it (within the USA). If you purchase the book on Amazon.com, it would cost you $40.00+ and it won’t be autographed.)

The Coach House is located about 100 yards from the historical Mission San Juan Capistrano. Gary Folgner, the Coach House founder and still owner, opened the venue in 1980.

On last week’s visit there, I said hello to another old friend, Johnny the bartender, who has worked at the Coach House for 38 years.

The Tribute band led by Shawn was awesome. They played Orange Blossom Special, A Boy Named Sue, One Piece at a Time, Hey Porter, Get Rhythm, Folsom Prison Blues, Cry Cry Cry, Big River, Ghost Riders in The Sky, and, of course, the two biggies that Johnny Cash is known for, Ring of Fire, and I Walk The Line.

I was honored when Shawn introduced me to the audience as probably the only person there who had known Johnny. That was an honor. Several people from the audience introduced themselves after the show.

Also, the band’s version of Will The Circle Be Unbroken had people on their feet like they were at a revival meeting.

I had goosebumps most of the night. Johnny had taken me into San Quentin Prison for a concert in 1977 so when Shawn sang Folsom Prison Blues, I could really relate to the atmosphere inside the walls of Folsom.

Jim said, “The energy, talent, and personality of Shawn, aka The Man in Black, was breathtaking. He had the audience involved during the entire show. If you ever get a chance to see this The Man in Black Tribute band, do it.

“And keep an eye on upcoming performances at the Coach House. You’ll love the vibe there. Our food server Hollie is the best—so busy, so friendly, and smart. We in Orange County are truly blessed to have such a wonderful music venue in San Juan Capistrano. And, it’s usually packed with people aged 50 to 75. ”

Debbie said, “I felt like Johnny Cash was in the room, both in voice and charisma. The entire audience appeared to be as mesmerized as we were. I was so proud to have been with Tom, the only person in the room who actually knew Johnny.”

I know that my friends Johnny and June Cash were smiling from above that night, and I gave them a thumbs up from the Coach House, the venue where I had been with them in person, almost 45 years before.

After the show, near the exit door of the Coach House, Jim, Debbie, and I said goodbye to Shawn and complimented him on a memorable performance. Each of us felt a warm glow as we drove to our homes.

If you would like to hear Johnny Cash sing the Victoria Station 30-second radio commercials he recorded, go to the website www.vicsta.com. On the home page, near the top, you will see a white square with >> an arrow pointing to the right. click on it and you will hear Johnny sing 3 commercials.

Part 2 – Tom on a podcast
I was interviewed by Bela Gandhi, the founder of The Smart Dating Academy, on a podcast last week, which aired this past Monday. This is an audio and video podcast, so I’m seen for about an hour (wish I had smiled more and I hope I don’t put you to sleep). The link to the podcast is below.
https://youtube/TVQKfjQUxWs

The book Tom autographed to The Man In Black tribute band members

Jim, Debbie, Shawn (aka Johnny Cash), and Tom

Home alone with only dogs for company

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter August 18, 2023

By Tom Blake columnist

Home alone with only dogs for company

People often ask where I learned to write, expecting to hear a reply like “At journalism school.” Or, they ask, “Have you always been a writer?”
I reply: “No journalism school. No formal writing classes, self-taught, and prompted by an unanticipated Christmas holiday event.

In 1993, I was in Santa Rosa, California, visiting my 82-year-old mom, as I did every Christmas holiday, and at least once a month. Santa Rosa is a nine-hour drive from Dana Point where I lived then.

My wife of six years, and her two boys, said they wanted me to have alone time with Mom so they opted to not join me on the trip.

I telephoned home on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but no one answered. I thought that was strange, as I was unaware of any plans they had made.

On the morning after Christmas, Mom and I were having breakfast at her home. The phone rang. I answered. It was my wife calling.

She said, “Hi honey. We had a great Christmas. I’ve been busy at work. The weather’s been wonderful, and we moved out.”

A bit stunned to say the least, I said, “What do you mean you moved out?” Mom heard my seven words, and her hackles went up.

My wife replied, “Just wanted to let you know. Gotta go. Everything’s fine.” And she hung up.

I hugged Mom goodbye and proceeded to drive back to Dana Point. I didn’t know it at the time, but that nine-hour drive was the start of my writing career.

Why? I had a notepad on my lap. A million thoughts went through my mind. I reminded myself to not be a distracted driver.

As best I could, I jotted down my thoughts. A word here, a word there. Short, incomplete sentences. The first item: What about my dogs, Amy and Kira? Were they gone? Were they still there? Had they been fed or left with water?

The next item: Why did she do it without us discussing it first? By the trip’s end, I had a mishmash of notes on the notepad.

When I pulled into the garage, my dogs barked. They were okay, nothing else mattered, at least at that moment.

My wife and her boys had taken what furniture and household items they wanted and didn’t leave much. I described that in the notepad, which became the start of a diary. I was puzzled, perplexed, and pissed.

A month later, while serving sandwiches during lunchtime at Tutor and Spunky’s, my Dana Point, California, deli, in front of customers and employees, I was served with divorce papers! And, as I was doing every night, I went home and jotted down my thoughts in what then had become sort of a woe-is-me diary.

In two months, the divorce was final. Shortly after the divorce, at age 54, I decided to start dating again, thinking I’d be king of the hill, because lots of single women came to the deli. But those women didn’t want to date a broken man in his early 50s.

Oh my gosh, reality hit harder than I had ever imagined. As I sat on barstools at Brio, Hennessey’s, and other local singles’ hangouts, I’d add the dating misadventures into the diary. Sitting on barstools, I honed my writing skills.
After five months, I converted the notes from the diary into a short story. I edited the material 25 times. It was about 75 pages. I thought I could get the story published.

I sent query letters to The New York Times, LA Times, Playboy Magazine and Esquire. No response. The Orange County Register recommended I contact the Dana Point News, the Register’s community paper in Dana Point.

After reading my short story, the two women editors—Sherrie Good and Dixie Redfearn–agreed to an in-person meeting.“What do you have in mind?” They asked.

I had no idea, so I just blurted out, “Maybe I could do a dating-after-50 column from a man’s point of view whose wife dumped him at age 54 and he’s trying to date.”

They said, “That’s what we were thinking. You are whining and complaining so much about the cost of dating, and being rejected by all sorts of women, including younger women, we feel the single, middle-aged women of Orange County will have a field day reading your male point of view articles.”

My column was titled, “Middle Aged and Dating Again.”

The first newspaper article was called, “Home alone, with only dogs for Company.” It appeared July 7, 1994–29 years ago–in the South County Lifestyles section of four Orange County Register community newspapers.

Sherrie and Dixie were right about the vitriolic responses from women.

The first comment was, “Who is this sniveling puke?”

The second: “Get the boy a crying towel.”

And the third: “He complains that younger women won’t go out with him. It’s a wonder any woman will go out with him.”

Welcome to the 1994 dating trenches, Tom.

Soon the column appeared in 10 OC Register community papers. And then for eight years, it was also in the Register itself, the nation’s 20^th largest newspaper, as well as the community papers. Opportunity had arisen from adversity. The unexpected move-out by my wife turned out to be a blessing in my life.

Eleven years ago, in 2012, I was fortunate to join the team at Picket Fence Media—the publishers of the Dana Point Times, San Clemente Times and The Capistrano Dispatch. My column title, “Finding Love After 50.”

I learned last week that Picket Fence Media has been sold to the Times Media Group, a collection of 29 newspapers in Arizona and around Los Angeles.
My publisher told me that the new owners want me to keep writing my columns. There’s a chance that my column might be included in even more newspapers. I hope so.

The number of columns and eNewsletters written in 29 years is approaching 4,600.

Why was that divorce 29 years ago the best thing that ever happened to me? It launched a writing career that has been more rewarding than I could have ever imagined. It brought appearances on the Today Show and Good Morning America.

And more importantly, it opened the door for me to meet Greta, a partner with whom I shared so many incredible experiences in the 25 years we were together before she passed away last October.

And now it’s back to being single. And because of you Champs, I realize I am not alone in trying to find a new direction and maybe be fortunate again to find a mate. We’ve got lots of Champs who are widows, widowers, never-married, and divorced people who have suffered a hell of a lot more adversity than I have. Many are grieving now.

Please hug them, listen to them, and be friends with them. There’s a huge cloud of emptiness and loneliness around them, which I can relate to.

Have things changed on the dating scene in 29 years? Not much, except now there is online dating with romance scammers on every Internet dating site. Plus, now, instead of focusing on dating after 50, the focus includes dating after 60, 70, 80, and even 90. Same old issues—hard to meet someone compatible. And as we age, women tell me there aren’t enough men.

For those who have suffered a major setback in life, try–as hard as it is currently for you–to include social interaction in your routines.
Join groups, help each other, give lots of hugs, and be thankful for life. Look for that seed of opportunity to soothe the pain. It’s out there somewhere, you just need to keep an eye out for it.

Have a purpose in life, whether it’s volunteering, gardening, sewing, joining a book club, or enjoying your friends and family.

And pray for the people of Hawaii, especially the people of Maui.

Thanks to you women and men Champs for being so important and special in my life.

Senior dating: Who Pays for the Date?

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter
August 11, 2023?
Who Pays for The Senior Date By Columnist Tom Blake

Who pays for the senior date?
The man, the woman or do they share?

An email from a long-time Champ inspired today’s eNewsletter.

Cheryl wrote, “I’m 68 and gave up on dating, especially online, because I was getting a lot of overseas scammers and I also experienced a group of men who were classless, meaning, they were cheap.
“I don’t need anyone to pay my way, but in my life, I’ve experienced people who have the means to treat me to the niceties of life and were happy to do it.

“I’m always surprised that women say if a man pays for dinner, the men expect something else, (like a roll in the hay)-so crass. I’m not sure what to think about men who don’t at least buy a drink or a light meal that might make a nice impression. If they don’t, am I to think they might be frugal and the rest of my life with them will be lacking in the things that I enjoy?”

Tom’s response to Cheryl: “I always pay. Sometimes a woman will strongly insist she pays for her own expense on the first date. And if I don’t let her, she will be offended so I let her. However, I’m old-fashioned, I’m very casual when the bill arrives. I’ll break her hand if she reaches for it. That’s how my parents raised me.

Cheryl responded, “I’m glad you shared with me that you pay. I’m not a feminist and also have old-fashioned values even though I have been a businesswoman and savvy real estate and stock investor (only saying this because some of us women are financially stable and not looking to take advantage of men). I guess there’s a group out there who ruins things for everyone.”

This “Who Pays for the Date?” issue has been a concern in senior dating for years. In fact, I wrote and published an ebook titled, “Who Pays for the Date?” in 2009.

In thinking about Cheryl’s “Who Pays” question this week, I went to Smashwords, my online ebook bookstore (the second largest ebook bookstore in the world after Amazon.com), and reread my book.

Humbly I say, it’s a wonderfully entertaining 16-page book and right on the money (pun not intended). Very little has changed in 14 years. I’m offering it to you Champs today for $1.99 (remember it’s an ebook, not a printed book). Most of what I wrote still applies today. See the link to the book at the end of today’s eNewsletter. Here’s a short excerpt from my 2009 book about my personal friend Buddy.

“Since Bobby and the woman were meeting in her neck of the woods, 15 miles from where he lived, he asked her to select the restaurant where they would meet. This was Buddy’s first mistake; he was no longer in control of where he’d be spending his money on a woman he’d never met.
“Early the next morning after their first date, the e-mails started flying my way. Buddy wrote, ‘Nicki has expensive tastes! I would have preferred a coffee shop, but what could I do after I was at the expensive restaurant?’”

Lesson learned. Buddy was foolish for asking Nicki to pick the meeting place. Since he initiated the date, he should have taken control and suggested coffee in a less expensive place. When men are paying for a first date, they shouldn’t give the woman carte blanche to choose where to meet. If a woman offers to pick the place, the man should say, “Thanks for the offer, but I want our date to be special, so I’ll choose the place.”

Champ Jim said, “I think men should pick up the tab on the first few dates and share the costs occasionally after–if the women financially are capable to help. The women don’t need to pick up the bill but going Dutch or at least offering to pay is a start. Some women expect the man to pay it always and never offer to help.”

Tom’s comment: Two weeks ago, I agreed to meet a woman who lived 30 miles away. I was going to her city on another project so I figured I’d multi-task: complete my project and meet a nice new person I’d met online. We agreed on 3:30 p.m. for coffee in her city. I asked her to choose the meeting location. She mentioned a restaurant. I didn’t check on it online, but soon found out it was an elegant, high-class, expensive French restaurant.

My drive to meet her, which normally takes a half hour, took two hours due to traffic problems. So, I needed a glass of wine, not coffee. When I got to the restaurant, I was seated outside at a patio dining table. The woman arrived a few minutes later. Instead of coffee, we each ordered a glass of wine.

Since the restaurant was empty, a waiter kept bugging us about ordering appetizers or an early dinner. I wasn’t hungry; she was. She ordered dinner, fresh sea bass, caught locally. I had a Gazpacho appetizer: $14.00. The bill for our wine, her dinner, my soup, and the tip was $162.43. I paid without batting an eye but cursed at myself for letting this happen.

Lesson learned. Going forward, I will designate the place and that our first date is for “coffee only.”

Three days later, I met a nice woman at a coffee shop near my home. When I got there, she had already bought and paid for her coffee. I got a coffee for me: $3.29. We had a delightful time.

Also in 2009, I was a columnist for The Orange County Register. I quoted an article I had read titled, “Courting Costs Are Yours, Too, Ladies,” by humor columnist Amy Alkon(www.advicegoddess.com). Amy wrote: “If a woman considers herself a man’s equal, her equality shouldn’t evaporate when the check comes. The point here isn’t calculating each person’s outlay to the bent dime. Just that dating shouldn’t send men to the bankruptcy court and women to the mall.”

In that column, I added, “Men want to see a little jingle come from the woman’s purse to help contribute to the exorbitant cost of dating.”

Tom’s 5 tips in 2023 on who should pay for the senior date

1 On a first date, the man should almost always pay. No matter if the woman wants to pay her half. However, the man should designate the place to meet and the time, and always specify, “coffee,’ whether he or she drinks it or not. Optional: tea. And the man should designate the place if he initiated the date.

2 On the second date, the man should also pay. UNLESS she suggests a pricey outing. If that’s the case, I feel the man needs to step forward and say something like, “That’s a bit out of my budget. I just paid my daughter’s Harvard University tuition and I’m on a tight budget now” (or some similar flimsy excuse).

3 If two seniors become a couple, on the third date and going forward, a discussion on “Who Pays?” needs to happen soon. This is where love, understanding, caring, and sharing enter the picture. Communication takes over, a key to senior relationship success.

4 When the woman is more comfortable financially than the man, they need to lay the cards on the table and work out an amenable arrangement. This is where fairness and a willingness to compromise enter the scene. And that may enhance the longevity of the senior relationship.

5 If he always pays, she can equalize things by cooking him dinner at home.

Link to Smashwords, the eBook bookstore:

Link to Who Pays for the senior date?

Take A Chance On Me

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter

June 30, 2023

Take a Chance On Me

A Woman’s Fear of Dating a Friend

By Senior Dating Columnist Tom Blake

Betsy’s dilemma A woman Champ, 78, requested that her name not be used, so we’ll call her Betsy. And Betsy has a dilemma, which she explained.

“I have given up on dating, but I have friends I go out with every Thursday. One is an 80-year-old man who lost his wife three years ago after 55 years of marriage.

“He lives in my retirement community and is a nice man. He has shown an interest in me, but I won’t consider a relationship with him other than friendship because we live in the same community.

“If our relationship didn’t work out, it would be awkward seeing each other, and I fear we could possibly ruin a wonderful friendship. What do you think? I would like to have your feedback.

I responded to Betsy: “The age difference is only two years. So, that’s a positive.

“Another positive is you live near each other. There would be limited or no driving to be together. Perhaps, a short, likely safe, drive at night to go home. “Since he is a nice man who was married 55 years, he’d likely be a loyal and dedicated mate. He cares about you and is attracted to you. That’s a big positive. You likely would be good for each other.

“Have you discussed your concerns with him? Share them and see how he feels about it. If you can agree on what would happen if it doesn’t work out (it would be a kind of post-relationship agreement), and if you are both comfortable with it, take a chance. It seems at his age and your age, sharing life with someone could be magical.

“You might want to find out about how his home is decorated. Are his former wife’s pictures everywhere? Might that bother you? 55 years is a long time. Lots of memories.

“Greta and I were together 25 years and now, seven months after losing her, I have lots of her photos in my home. A woman who came here didn’t seem to mind, but of course, she doesn’t live here.

“The big answer: if you like him, communicate your concerns and either proceed from there or not. Take a chance. I’d give it a try.

Betsy’s response: “If he broaches the subject with me, I will discuss it with him. We were all out together last night at our usual sports bar for dinner and drinks. When I leaned in to say something to him, he said, ‘If you keep leaning in like that, I will have to kiss you. I have wanted to do that for a long time.’

“I was taken aback and said, ‘OMG really? You are embarrassing me!’
“I think I blushed. My lady friends who were in attendance said maybe it was the ‘drinks’ he had while we were talking.

“I don’t know…but we all agreed he is a very nice guy. We all watched him care for his wife in a wheelchair before she died. He was devoted to her and, is a genuinely nice person to everyone.”

Tom’s reply: “He sounds like me in this way: Perhaps the drinks made him bolder and more amorous, but he wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t mean it. He is attracted to you. Are you attracted to him? Enough so that you are willing to have that ‘What happens if it doesn’t work out?’ conversation?

“You decide. What’s more important? Having someone in your life who warms your heart and is there for you, and who loves to hug, kiss and hold you.

“Or risking losing his friendship because it might not work out? And even if it doesn’t work out, you still might be friends.

“I totally get where he is coming from, especially since he was a caregiver for his wife. He wants to feel love again.

“In most potential senior relationships, there is fear in one way or another. Most of us have suffered losses. It’s hard to move forward. And we all have senior dating baggage.

“The main question: Are you attracted to him? He sounds like an ideal special man and is so close to your age. Plus, he lives nearby. Also, if you are attracted to him, don’t wait for him to bring the subject up. I suggest you tell him you’d like to talk and take that initiative. He has already indicated he cares about you.”

“Take a chance, Betsy. Which reminds me of a song. Abba’s ‘Take a Chance On Me.’ (See link to the song below).”

Isn’t senior dating fun?

A response to last week’s eNewsletter

Rhonda emailed: “I thought the list which you and your buddy Jim published last week was SPOT ON! I especially resonated with the friendship aspect and the simple words, ‘Friends first.’ And genuinely wanting to be together…love it. So incredibly important.

“I would add to your list strong communication and negotiation. We, humans, are not mind-readers, so sharing ideas and talking about the good, bad, and ugly is vital to a strong healthy relationship.

“Being vulnerable and open are key components to sharing your life with your mate. “Please don’t shoot me Tom, but the proper spelling is ‘Gucci’ for designer clothing and handbags. (you wrote Goochi).

Tom’s response to Rhonda. “Your mention of the Gucci spelling is a riot. I looked up the proper spelling but failed to change it in the text. What was I thinking? Another woman mentioned that as well.

“At least you can tell my closet is not filled with Gucci attire. For me, Levi is more appropriate for this hang-10 guy. So, if I meet a woman who wants a man dressed to the nines, I’m likely not her guy.

“Your suggested list addition is right on. Communication and negotiation between couples are both critical. And what often happens when people are communicating via text, instead of by phone or in person, is the words often get misconstrued. “And being vulnerable is important. When a person is vulnerable, he or she reveals their inner beauty.”

That’s it for this week. It’s Gucci signing off.

Link to Abba’s Take A Chance On Me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-crgQGdpZR0

Two Senior men discuss 6 senior dating boundaries

Don’t you forget about me

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter

May 19, 2023

By Columnist Tom Blake

Don’t You Forget About Me

Once again, this week, you Champs have helped write another eNewsletter. Your comments from last weeks Keep ’em Flying eNewsletter were great. The Keep ’em Flying artwork by artist Kevin Sullivan is shown above.

Before I begin, a few of you have asked whom I use for my website designing and updating.

I’ve used Alex Joyce for more than 20 years. In fact, he’s currently working on my Tom’s Finding Love after 50 website

I am including his contact information at the end of today’s eNewsletter. He is a conscientious gentleman. I highly recommend him.

Almost all my weekly eNewsletters for the last five years can be found on that website. Just go to the home page and check the banner along the top that says, Tom’s newsletters. By clicking on that, you will see a dropdown window showing the years eNewsletters were published. So, if you were included in an eNewsletter, or want to read a previous article, you should be able to find that issue.
So, here’s what our Champs said this week:

Carol, “You don’t have to have a ‘mate’ to be happy. I have been a widow since 1997 when my husband passed away. I just plan things to do at home and outside the home with others, and I have a dog that I dearly love and ‘talk to’ all the time as if she were a person. A new mate could cause you more feelings of missing Greta because she would do things differently, etc. Think positive.”

Tom’s response: “What’s right for me, or right for you, may not be what’s right for others. You have a mate, only yours has four legs instead of two legs. I see four-legged mates with women often on dating sites, and they are often shown being hugged by their owners. We all need companionship and hugs; in whatever form each takes.”

Carol replied: “Yes, that is very true. I had not thought about it that way. I love your columns each week, thanks for sharing.”

Rhonda, “Last week you wrote a wonderful eNewsletter. You can get those thoughts off your chest to us Champs anytime you wish. It warmed my heart to see how healthy your attitude is and how deep your feelings have become even with or maybe because of your recent loss.

“You are honest about what’s going on in your life and soul. Thanks for sharing it with us these many years. It’s wise of you to allow Greta to remain in an important place in your heart. Not everyone does that. What a gift she was to you, and what a gift you are to us Champs.”

Cheryl, “My heart was touched by your ‘Keep ‘em Flying’ eNewsletter last week in your reflections about the celebration of life for Greta as well as your thoughts regarding moving forward.

“I have not lost a husband or life partner to death, but I lost both of my dearly beloved parents and was so tremendously uplifted by the support of loving family and friends at their services.

“Being a self-confessed ‘word-nerd,’ I liked the phrases you adopted for help in moving forward. I’d like to share a couple I have adopted for myself which have inspired and encouraged me over the years. One comes from a song I heard years ago. I can’t remember the title or the artist who sang it, but one line from the chorus stuck with me–“Some people fall, some people fly. Show me the sky!”

“The other phrase came from a Kevin Costner movie. I think the title was simply, “Dragonfly.” The plot was about a missionary (I think) young couple with a baby who were working somewhere in Africa. The wife and child were kidnapped, and Kevin Costner spent months/years searching for them.

“The baby had a birthmark shaped like a dragonfly, so he was able to identify the child when he eventually found his wife and child. A friend asked him how he kept going during the long time he spent searching. His answer was, ‘Belief gets you there.’

“Believe me, I have repeated that mantra to myself many, many times over the last few years! It has helped me get through a second divorce, losing my dream mini ranch in the country, the loss of both my parents and other challenges.  “When I decided to try online dating, that phrase also kept me going and prevented me from giving up on finding a loving partner. Eventually, I was blessed with Matt coming into my life.

“Some time ago Matt found a lovely dragonfly bookmark which I decided to hang from the rearview mirror in the car. I love seeing it when I’m in the car, and it’s a beautiful reminder of how important it is to ‘keep the faith’ and believe that good things will come your way.

“I love what you said about bringing love and happiness to someone in a relationship as well as receiving those gifts yourself. You are a ‘flyer,’ and you inspire others to ‘fly’ as well.

“Matt’s first wife, knowing she was dying, told Matt she wanted him to find a loving relationship. She knew Matt needed love and companionship in his life and knew Matt was able to give the same to a loving partner. So, look skyward and keep telling yourself, ‘Belief gets you there!’

Tom’s response: “I am going to add another ‘C’ to your ‘CC’ name, you are now ‘Cherished Cheryl C.”

Patricia, “My partner Len and I are in Vienna Austria, and will start a Collette tour tonight as we meet up with our director and fellow travelers. We arrived here yesterday morning and after a good night’s sleep got on the subway this morning and went to the Spanish Riding School to watch a training session…just great.

“Even though this trip was planned many months ago it has come at a very significant time for us. My daughter Melissa, age 53 passed away on April 10th due to multiple organ failure. It was a shock and it’s been a learning experience for sure. I dealt with the death of my husband almost 22 years ago, but this is totally different.

“I have accepted Melissa’s death; I don’t have any other choice.  “At this stage of my life, I had to decide whether to let this overwhelm me or to keep moving. I chose to keep moving. Not a day goes by that she’s not in my thoughts, but I know I have to stay healthy physically, mentally, and emotionally. It’s a way of honoring my daughter and I know she would want me to do it the way I’ve chosen.

“I am glad you are keeping busy and finding your way. Thank you for sharing this journey with all of us.”

Tom’s response: “Patricia and Len are included in my book, “How 50 Couples Found Love After 50,” published in 2009. They are Chapter 12, titled, Love on the Back of a Harley.

Alive and Kicking

Carolyn, “Your eNewsletters always pull at the heartstrings and inspire Champs. It’s as though you are reading our minds and know what our souls are aching for. “In this ‘new’ life, we must take it one day at a time. We are still alive and kicking and must enjoy every single minute. You are our emotional support mentor; your eNewsletters are sustenance for our broken hearts!

“Relatives and friends don’t always understand our true feelings, but you do. Thank you for what you have done to inspire all Champs.”

Tom’s response: Of course, Carolyn’s alive and kicking comment triggered my ‘reminds me of a song’ thought I often get while writing these columns. This week it’s the singing group Simple Minds, from a 1985 album of the same name.

The link to that song is below and a second link to another Simple Minds song is also below. Why two Simple Minds songs? Because my favorite song of theirs was from the original soundtrack of the movie “The Breakfast Club.” It’s called Don’t You Forget About Me.” So that link is listed below as well, just above my picture.
Link to Alive and Kicking

Please have a look at the link below to Don’t You Forget About Me.

Here is Alex Joyce’s contact information Alex Joyce (Owner/Technician)(949) 485-1767 (Call to schedule with Alex)(949) 204-9923 (Alex’s Cell)

UserFriendlyComputerService.com MyWebsiteDesigned.com

Thanks for caring, Champs. I won’t forget about you; please don’t you forget about me.

Link to Simple Minds Don’t You Forget About Me

Senior Singles Avoid Wasting Time

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter February 17, 2023
More about Senior Singles List Making
By Columnist Tom Blake

Keep the list short

More about making a senior-love list

Last week’s eNewsletter was titled “Make A List.” In that newsletter, I suggested that senior singles make a list of the characteristics they want in a mate and in their relationship. The purpose of a list is to help a person avoid wasting time, money, and emotions on a relationship or a person who is not right for her or him. At our age, we don’t have time to waste.

The above paragraph reminds me of the song, “Wasted Days and Wasted Nights,” by the incredible Tejano/rockabilly singer Freddy Fender, which he wrote in 1959. See the link at the end of today’s column.

A list is merely a dating tool. There is no right or wrong list. And there is no perfect mate. We all have our faults so don’t judge someone too harshly or too quickly. Be flexible.

Many Champs responded to that eNewsletter. Champ Virginia asked, “Is there a list that a man would make?

I responded: “I’ll be happy to do that at the end of today’s article. But I stress that each person’s list will vary according to their values, desires, and experiences. Keep the list short.

The list last week was close to my list, give or take a few items.
Here are comments based on last week’s eNewsletter.

LJ (woman) “I quit dating a very nice man because every room in his house had at least one or two large photos of his deceased wife. One large 2′ x 3′ portrait on the living room wall was a bit overwhelming. Many smaller ones all over. I understand that he loved his wife. That’s very touching. And shows he is a good guy.

“But I felt like she was constantly looking at us! Perhaps this is my problem. Probably is. But it was unsettling to me. “I never said anything to him about the photos but I quit going out with him. I felt like I would never measure up. And that I would always be compared to her. I suppose this is my perception.

“Also, he paid for his son and spouse to live in a condo next door to him. I could see he wanted his intact family close by, at his expense. It was not something I wanted to be a part of. The last thing I needed was somebody glued to the old family.”

Bruce, newly divorced, mentioned a few of his list items. “I will not date someone of the opposite political party.

“Also, regarding availability to date. Some women are so busy with activities that they don’t have adequate time to date, which is very different from men. “Another is geographic distance. I am trying to limit the distance to a 50-mile radius but it seems like the more desirable potential mates are in major cities, 100-200 miles away.

“The last no-no for me is smoking in any way, either casual or regularly.”

Champ Patty said, “My husband died in July, but had dementia for years. I met a nice new man on Zoosx, in December. We spoke for two weeks, via phone and text, every day. We met for coffee, spoke countless hours on the phone, and then spent the day together. It’s been growing since. He’s a retired firefighter and was patient with me and a complete gentleman. He kind of checkmarked everything I asked for.”

Rosemarie, South Africa, “I will send your column to a friend. We have only seen each other two times in a year. He works in the Seychelles, is divorced, and is a bit younger than me. He has three kids and he’s from a large family, one of nine children. On a visit, he made advances toward me. I told him no. So, the next time he was in my country he didn’t contact me.

“He is a preacher of the Bible. I told him he doesn’t practice what he preaches. Did I do the right thing?”

I responded to Rosemarie, “Based on what you explained, I think you did the right thing.”

Ray said, “I never have made a list but it kind of makes sense. Also, in concert with the article, I have never sought a replacement for my wife Mary. On the other hand, I do seek a person with some similar traits she had.”

Wayne emailed, “Liked your list. Many women want to be on ‘scholarship.’”
Knowing Wayne, I think what he means is that some women he meets want to be on a free ride and not share expenses. They expect him to always pay.

Janet wrote, “Good advice. I had no idea where to start. The list is the perfect place.”

Mack emailed, “Re: Joan, from last week; her thoughts, perhaps to the extreme, are not atypical. I think it is normal for a man or woman to compare a new person with a past mate(s).

“I, for one, will never get over losing my first wife back in the 90s. There is never the same innocence of a young relationship down the road in later life.”

More than two years ago, Champ Cheryl wrote this about making a list: “Having children or grandchildren live with them is a deal-breaker for me because I was in that situation in my marriage. The blood relatives of a man seem to come before the new partner.”

“Plus, the political thing has become major. I have met some very nice men with whom I clicked, and then they find out which candidate I support and they break it off immediately.”

Also, two years ago, Champ S (a woman) wrote, “The first attraction is physical. Then we go from there…” I agree with “S.”

Here’s a possible list from a man: (Remember, what this dude wants, he must be willing and able to provide her with the same qualities. Love is a two-way street).

Tom’s suggested characteristics-wanted list

1. There must be a strong physical attraction between us

2. There will be differences from having lived different lives, especially as we’ve aged. We must be willing to compromise. This is where different political beliefs can be lessened to make each other’s views tolerable enough to keep the relationship intact

3. She must be willing to communicate openly and honestly

4. She must make me her top priority (and I must do the same)

5. She must be financially self-sufficient and willing to share expenses (not specific dollar-to-dollar amounts or switching who pays every other time they go out together, but in general)

6. She must be available to see me 3-5 times per week and live within a few miles from me

7. No smoking or drugs

8. Our religious beliefs can be different, but no zealots for me. I believe in a higher power, but I do not attend church. She can attend church, which I respect, but I won’t be attending with her. A plus, she must enjoy sports.

9. She must be kind, considerate, positive, and upbeat, and she must love animals

10. She must take care of her health and we must enjoy being together and feel totally comfortable.

Link to Wasted Days and Wasted Nights by Freddy Fender https:///www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9lkeoxJRxA

Senior dating concern: Availability

“Are you available to date?” He asked. She answered “No”

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter
January 13, 2023
Don’t make yourself available if you aren’t available

By Columnist Tom Blake

Champ Bruce emailed his response to last week’s Senior Part-Time Girlfriend eNewsletter. In that column, a man told his girlfriend Joyce, 74,(she’s six years older) that he wanted to see her only two times a week and occasionally three times. They had been seeing each other almost daily for four months.

Joyce was taken aback but accepted his wishes, saying, “I’m going to still see him because I’d rather be with someone kind and generous part-time than the unknown.”

Bruce wrote, “As a 60-ish single senior, I can relate to the gentlemen who informed Joyce of wanting to see her just 2-3 times per week. “Many of us still work, have grandkids with whom we are occasionally involved during the week, friends we spend time with, and duties around our homes.

“I just got out of a short-term relationship which had me ‘running a rat race’ where we both had individual homes and the other party wanted to be together almost every night of the week.

“This would work with a married couple or a couple who choose to immediately live together but can be a challenge when you choose to each have your own homes and live apart.

“Juggling time between family, friends, the girlfriend, and work can be a challenge. It’s not that we don’t want to spend time with our significant other, but restricting the relationship time you have with your family and friends because your dating partner may have significantly more free time is not balanced.

“If you are retired, and have no significant family or friends that you are involved with, then you may have a lot of free time to devote to a woman who may need that level of involvement in her relationship.

“That’s part of the matching process, finding a person you are interested in spending time with and becoming involved with, and still meshing your time with family and friends.”

Tom’s opinion on being available for senior love

As a newly single senior, Bruce’s comment got my attention. Right off the top, I think he’s right. It’s not just men who have limited time to spend with a mate. It applies to women as well. I’ve corresponded with many single newspaper and eNewsletter readers lately. Many are widows. Here’s my observation about the time availability of five of those widows, based on what they’ve said or just my impression.

One widow (of a year and a half) manages her deceased husband’s business and in her own home is caregiving for her elderly mother. She barely has time to come up for air or a walk around the block. She’s a lovely person who’s not available for a relationship. Not at this time, at least.

Another widow (of 10 years) is a go-getter business-wise. The demands of her job leave her with little spare time for anything. She said, “I’m not willing to give up my free time for a relationship at this point in my life. The little bit of free time I have I like spending by myself or with my family.” She’s also a lovely person, and not available for a relationship.

A third widow (two years) has a sports instructor’s job that requires hours of daily teaching and physical exercise, sometimes starting at 6 a.m., six to seven days a week. One day, after a long hard day of working, she emailed, “I’m worthless right now. Physically and mentally; I give my all to the kids! I’m also stubborn.” This happens to her often. Exhausted, too pooped to pop. She’s not available either, but at times I feel she wishes she were.

A fourth widow (six months), has a demanding job with a successful company where she’s an important executive, the glue that keeps her office together. She works out daily, doing Pilates, and strives to keep herself fit. She has a dog she treasures that requires walks twice daily. She rides and cares for a horse each week. I imagine the appointment calendar on her wall is filled with activities and obligations. She spends time with her family. She has amazing energy and is attractive. Time for a relationship? On a limited basis, perhaps.

A fifth widow (2 years), is always busy. She has three dogs, which require attention. She’s possibly available, but still grieving the loss of her spouse. Spending time doesn’t appear to me to be a high priority for this nice person. These widows are all attractive. Men would love being able to spend time with them. Some of the widows were married for 40 years or more. Some are in grief gridlock, which is my own term, not meant to be derogatory. I get grief gridlock; I’m in it often as well.

These widows still grieve; it might never get easier for them as time progresses. They are intelligent and take good care of themselves. They are financially responsible, and each owns her own home. They simply aren’t available for a relationship, at least that’s my observation. Or perhaps the right guy hasn’t come along.

Grief can also make getting involved in a relationship a challenge. I’ve learned in the two months since I lost Greta that grief can do strange things to one’s mind. One minute you’re cruising along feeling you are beginning to do a little better and then bam, out of the blue, a STUG (Sudden, Temporary, Uptake, of Grief) hits. It can make you cranky, cry, wacked out, sad, depressed—you name it.

You might be alone or with someone and you say something to the person that he or she might misinterpret or not comprehend, or even appreciate. Hopefully, people won’t judge you too harshly. You’re doing the best you can. A second chance might be all that is needed to enjoy that person.

If people decide to initially meet for coffee or a walk, or whatever, and there appears to be a connection between them, I think having the availability discussion early on is important so both people understand each other’s availability, and manage their relationship expectations based on it. Know yourself well and what you want.

And then there are seniors who are available but often have compatibility issues. The idiosyncrasies and baggage we all have can get in the way of senior romance as well. A friend of mine and I had a laugh that we weren’t compatible because I love mashed potatoes and she doesn’t like mashed potatoes. We’re mashed-potato-incompatible!

In preparing today’s eNewsletter, thinking about loneliness and seniors being alone who aren’t available for a relationship, the words from one of the greatest songs ever recorded and my favorite Bob Dylan song, Like A Rollin’ Stone, came to mind.

“How does it feel? How does it feel? To be on your own with no direction home, A complete unknown like a rolling stone?”

(See the link below)

Don’t forget to be kind and hug each other. But don’t make yourself available if you’re not available. Only you can judge what you want or need at this stage in your life. And when you meet someone who feels right to you, with whom you are compatible, give each other a chance. Take your time. Be patient with each other. Understand the person’s needs and priorities.

You may need to rearrange your availability priorities a bit. It just might be worth the effort. Even if you see each other only two or three times a week. If that person has a lot to offer, and you run and hide from them, they may be gobbled up by someone else, and then, a few months later, you’re sorry you didn’t keep them in your life. And remember, today’s topic applies to both men and women.

Link to Like A Rolling Stone – a six-minute+ masterpiece

Five Songs

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter – October 30, 2020

By Columnist Tom Blake

Five Songs

One of the offshoots of the pandemic is that Champs are tapping into their personal reservoirs of creativity.

Several Champs have mentioned they are working on creative projects. Perhaps it’s because they have more free time than usual. Or, they are reflecting on their lives and what’s really important to them. It’s interesting that several men are working on writing projects such as autobiographies, blogs, or books. Women are painting, gardening, and exercising more.

Patrick Hynes, a native of Australia, is writing a postcard blog that he emails to his friends. It’s titled, “Patrick’s Brief Encounters…Snippets of my life in America.” Working as the Public Relations Director for the Anaheim Hilton Hotel years ago, he met many famous people. Each weekly postcard contains a photo and about 150 concise words. Patrick’s first postcard was about meeting Muhammad Ali. Here’s the photo of him and Ali:

Patrick’s first postcard (July 20, 2020) photo (courtesy of Patrick Hynes)

Other postcards have featured President Reagan, Madonna, Buzz Aldrin, Joe Dimaggio, Elroy “Crazy Legs” Hirsch, Sean Connery (James Bond), and Kobe Bryant.

Champ Pam Peters, San Diego, has created more than 100 paintings during the pandemic. She has created boxes of gift cards that feature her paintings. (By the way, Pam happens to be my sister; she’s the creative one in the family). Here’s one of the 100 she’s created during this pandemic.

Come for dinner – Shrimp Provencal

Champ Sandy, Sonoma County, California, also paints, “I have been painting more and creating cards from it…just a lot of fun. I’ve been dormant on writing but have started writing in my head again..and I can feel it about to jump out.”

Champ Rick O. is writing about his career as a former professional baseball player. His writing project is temporarily on hold while dealing with several serious family-health issues, which, understandably, take a higher priority than the writing.

Champ Teresa has been creative in a different way, one that has taken time and patience but is changing her life. In the August 21 eNewsletter, I wrote about refinancing my home. Teresa capitalized on the information. How so?

This week, she emailed, ‘Wanted to thank you for the referral to your broker Vanessa Schwartz. My refinance/loan closes Tuesday, a day after my 64th birthday. Yea! I am really jazzed as my monthly payment will be about $300 less than before, allowing me to stay in my home for a few more years after I retire at 70, probably (Italics by Tom). My neighbor refinanced with Vanessa as well. We are both grateful for this opportunity to lower our interest rate and payment.

“I’m doing a little ‘happy dance’ right now, in honor of your willingness to help a stranger.”

In a coincidence, Teresa and I (and Patrick Hynes) worked for the Victoria Station restaurant chain, eons ago, but we didn’t know each other.

I’ve been friends with Rick Lenz for merely 65 years—we were classmates at Jackson High School, in Jackson, Michigan in the 1950s. Rick is a retired successful actor (played opposite Ingrid Bergman, John Wayne, Lauren Bacall, Walter Matthau, and Peter Sellers among others). He has written several books, including his latest novel, which will be published early next year.

Here is my favorite piece of art that Rick has created. This painting hangs on my wall.

Old Friend by Rick Lenz

Check out this creative man at http://www.ricklenz.com (Lots of wonderful art like this)

Another high school classmate is Carmen (Carm to me), who lives in Barra de Navidad, Mexico. Carm was featured in our May 29 eNewsletter which is posted on the FindingLoveAfter50.com website. Carm is writing an autobiography. He and Patrick Hynes often send me rough drafts of their work for my comments.

Last Friday, Carm sent a draft of Chapter 10, titled, “My Life with Karen.” Carm was a friend of Karen and her husband Charlie, and when Charlie died, Carm spent time ensuring she was doing okay. The relationship grew and they had five special years together before she passed away on August 1, 2019.

As I was perusing Carm’s Chapter 10, I noticed he included a cluster of four pictures of Karen and him. The caption under the photos reads:

Loving her was easier than anything I’ll ever do again. –-Kris Kristofferson

That caption blew me away. You’ll see why in a minute.

During Greta’s and my 23 years together, I’ve occasionally mentioned to her that when I pass away, I don’t want a funeral. An upbeat, fun, small, positive, memory-celebration is ok, but only if five songs that express how I’ve felt about her, are played on a video for the people attending. I wrote down the titles of the five songs on an old, tattered, envelope for her to keep in her files.

Three weeks ago, Greta left that envelope on my desk with a written request to put those songs into a word document, so she could access them on her computer desktop (I don’t know why she made that request, perhaps Greta knows something I don’t know!).

Here are Tom’s five songs (and the links to each)

1) Loving her was easier than anything I will ever do again (written and sung by Kris Kristofferson)

Note from Tom: That’s the same song Carm used in the caption under Karen’s pictures. That’s why I was blown away. I found it hard to believe that a guy I’ve known for 65 years and I picked the same song to honor our partners.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCgnbRWVvU8

2) If Tomorrow Never Comes (written by Garth Brooks and Kent Blazy, sung by Garth Brooks)

3) Sunday Morning Coming Down (written by Kris K, sung by Johnny Cash)

4) Dreaming My Dreams (written by Allen Reynolds, sung by Waylon Jennings)

5) Dry Your Eyes (co-written and sung by Neil Diamond)

Note from Tom: This Neil Diamond video I took on my phone at one of Neil Diamond’s last concerts, August 2017, at the Forum in Los Angeles. It’s not a perfect video as I didn’t zoom in until later in the video. But the sound is terrific. Note the trumpet player solo near the end. He is spectacular. It’s nearly impossible to find videos of Diamond performing this song–he rarely played it in concerts. It was originally written honoring Martin Luther King after he was assassinated.

Do you have a song that has special meaning to you or to a loved one? Are you working on a creative project? If so, please share it with us and tell us why it’s special.

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