How 50 Couples Found Love After 50 – On Life and Love after 50

On Life & Love After 50 eNewsletter

January 15, 2025

By Columnist Tom Blake

Patricia and Cowboy of Cut Bank, Montana

In November 2007, when my eNewsletter was titled “Finding Love After 50”, I received an email from a woman who lived in San Luis Obispo, California. She wrote, “I have been on Match.com off and on for several years, but I am not attracting the type of person I want. Twenty-five percent of the responses are from bikers so I must have something in my profile that attracts them.”

I included both her quote and my response to her in the eNewsletter. I said: “You are likely attracting bikers because they like to visit San Luis Obispo and would have someone to party with while ‘in town.’ For some reason, I picture those two buffoons in the movie Sideways, which was filmed near San Luis Obispo.

Another subscriber, Patricia, took issue with my words. She wrote, “I live in Paso Robles where they filmed much of the movie Sideways. Many ‘bikers’ live and work in the area and aren’t just passing through to party with someone.

“Two years ago, when I was 52, I read a profile on Match of a man, 53, whose road name is Cowboy that said, ‘Don’t let the biker thing scare you off. We are not a bad group; you might want to meet me before you make a judgment. A lot of us are real nice men.’

As a quirk of fate, Patricia met Cowboy, but it wasn’t online. She met him through friends when Cowboy was operating a backhoe in the friend’s yard. Their story was so unusual and inspiring, I included it the How 50 Couples Found Love After 50 book I published in 2009.

Last week, 17 years later, Champ Patricia emailed “My husband Cowboy is amazing. Cowboy just had a total knee replacement on September 23rd, and he has been mobile and active for a couple of weeks.

“Everyone in Cut Bank (Montana), where we live now, knows what a big heart Cowboy has and people don’t hesitate to call him for help. Recently, he picked up an elderly man friend and carried him to his house because the man was too weak to get there by himself.

“Well, he just left the house to clear the snow off a couple’s driveway. The skid steer wouldn’t start, so he’s doing it by hand with a shovel! The couple needs to get his wife to physical therapy because she just had a knee replacement, and they can’t get their car out.

“How ironic is that? So off Cowboy went to help, with his knee already complaining about the 106 mile, 1 ½ hour drive each way, to Great Falls and back yesterday!

“I’m praying that Cowboy doesn’t do any harm to his knee. He’s getting the other knee replaced in just over a week, so he especially needs this knee to keep healing!

“I have intercepted a couple of calls to him and suggested they ask the local high school football team to help instead of my husband when they just need brute strength. Cowboy’s 72, and I don’t want him to injure his back or something else because he has too big of a heart to say no.”

I responded to Patricia and she wrote back, “It’s been 19 years since Cowboy and I met on October 13, 2005. Time sure flies, and the older we get, the faster it goes! I had a recent fall in October similar to your significant other Debbie’s recent fall, slamming the side of my head on the hardwood floor at home. I had a lovely black eye for two weeks. We knew to go to the ER for a CT scan, and, fortunately, I checked out okay.

“One advantage of a small town is that the hospital is only five minutes away, and I was the only patient in the ER! Much different from Mission Hospital where Debbie went. I’ve been there a couple of times, back when I lived in Dana Point. It’s a madhouse! I hope this finds you both happy and Debbie well on the road to recovery.”

Tom’s comment

I wrote about Patricia and Cowboy in 2009. Their story, Love On The Back Of A Harley is Chapter 12 in my book, “How 50 Couples Found Love After 50.” A lessons learned printed from Patricia’s and Cowboy’s story reads “While searching for a mate later in life, expand your horizons, reach and thinking. Two of the stories in this book are about women who met men who ride motorcycles and love their men dearly. Coincidentally, both women are named Patricia and both ride on the motorcycles with their men.”

Can you imagine? Champ Patricia and Cowboy met 19 years ago, and still share stories and love with me and you Champs. Let’s hope Cowboy’s second knee replacement is a success. He sounds like a wonderful loving man.

Hanging out at the Pub Club

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter July 26, 2024

Tom Blake Columnist and Senior Dating Expert

On January 30, 2024, I received this email from Anita Gorsch: “I’m the editor of the Laguna Woods Globe, a weekly publication by the Orange County Register for seniors in the Laguna Woods Village retirement community.
(Approximately 18,000 seniors live in Laguna Woods Village, in South Orange County, California).

Anita continued: “We want to write a story about seniors finding love for our Valentine’s issue. Would you be willing to be interviewed about that?”
I replied yes. We spoke the next day for 30 minutes.

On February 8, the Globe published Anita’s front page story, “Looking for romance? Senior dating pro can help.” (See photo above) She included information from our phone conversation.

On March 25, a woman named Dinah Lin emailed: “I am writing on behalf of the Pub Club (*Publishing Club) of Laguna Woods. Our President, Nancy Brown, was captivated by the recent front-page Globe article highlighting you and your most interesting life/career. She recommended I contact you as a potential presenter/speaker at one of our gatherings. I am the program chair.”

“The Pub Club” caught my interest. Wow, I’d be speaking to a group of beer and wine drinkers.

Sorry, Tom, this isn’t a drinking club, as Dinah explained, “Our members are writers, published authors, and authors-to-be and our programs focus on topics that would help them on this journey. Please let me know if this interests you. It would be July 17 from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m.”

I responded, “Me? Speaking for two hours on writing to an accomplished group of writers? I’d put them all to sleep.”

Dinah and I eventually settled on senior dating as the topic, with me being interviewed by one of their members. My part would be about an hour plus ample time for questions and answers. On July 17, when I saw the room, I was pleased. It was ideal, with tables, approximately 80 chairs, and microphones that were fully charged and ready to go. Approximately 70 people attended.

Women outnumbered men by about nine-to-one, a ratio typical of the Laguna Woods Village population and similar to senior dating ratios. Topics included online dating, building profiles and do’s and don’ts when posting photos, and long-distance relationships.

The importance of honesty trust, and communication between couples was frequently stressed. Who pays for the first senior date received many comments from attendees. The consensus was that men should grab the tab (at least, for the first two or three dates, something I agree with).

First-date etiquette was a fun topic. Women suggested that men keep their hands in check. So, what the hell do we do? Sit on our hands. Two women gave me copies of books they had published and I returned the favor with my books. One was Dinah Lin, the program chair. Her Amazon bestselling book is a memoir of her fascinating life. It’s titled. “Daring to Dream. Once Again.”

Dinah pours her heart and soul into this book; it’s a fascinating and heart-wrenching, follow-her-dreams story.

The other woman, Karen Haddigan, in collaboration with Debi Helm, handed me “Secrets of Dating After Fifty. The Insider’s Guide to Finding Love Again.” Karen and Debi’s book should be a textbook at a Senior Dating University. So many senior dating topics are included and often told with a humorous anecdote attached.

One section is titled, “Nakedness and the Aging Body,” which caught my attention. It discusses the reality of growing old, to which we all relate. I was amazed at how many of the same topics Karen and I had included in our respective dating after 50 books. Her opinions and observations about senior dating are more refreshing and up-to-date than in my book. (Karen’s book was published 12 years after my book was published)

The two books are pictured below. Both women sell their books on Amazon.com.

Writing is a great way for seniors to keep busy and their minds engaged. I hope we inspired the writers present to stay busy writing and publishing their books.

A special 70th Birthday

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter July 19, 2024

Alan Parsons (left) and Phil Green on stage at end of concert

Columnist Tom Blake and Senior Dating Expert

Sixteen years ago, on August 23, 2008, I was an Orange County California Deputy Marriage Commissioner for one day. I married Phil and Laurie Green at a ceremony in the historic mission city of San Juan Capistrano, California.

Phil was 54 and Laurie was in her mid-40s. They told me they wanted someone who knew them to marry them, that it would be more meaningful and personal. The county of Orange issued a one-day permit.

Phil had never married. Laurie was divorced in 2003 and had declared a moratorium on dating for “at least a year.” But, as often happens, life can change in an instant.

For Laurie, two things happened in late 2003. First, she met Phil at a party. Her one-year dating moratorium ended after a few months. They became a couple.

Second, her new-found bliss took a tough turn when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She and Phil tackled her cancer as a team. Laurie beat cancer and four years later was the wedding.

In keeping with their shared love of music, they became friends with Alan and Lisa Parsons. Alan was the founder of the Alan Parsons Project, a progressive, 70s and 80s British rock band.

Lisa and Alan were among the guests at the wedding and seated in the front row. At the reception, the disc jockey included Parsons’ hit Sirius/Eye in the Sky in the playlist. I thought I had read that Alan had helped produce two Beatles albums, which I asked him about.

He said he had been an assistant engineer, not an assistant producer, on the Abbey Road and Let It Be albums. “Had I been an assistant producer, I’d be a very rich man,” Parsons said with a grin. (My photo from 2008 with Alan and Lisa is below).

I included Laurie and Phil’s love story in my “How 50 Couples Found Love After 50” book.
Update 16 years later (July 19, 2024)

Last Sunday night, Laurie had a private 70th birthday party for Phil. My significant other, Debbie, and I were invited. It was held at Campus Jax restaurant in Newport Beach, California. Debbie and I agreed it was the most amazing birthday party either one of us had ever attended.

Laurie had done most of the preparation work. Here are some highlights.

1 Laurie and Phil are still happily married after 16 years, so I still have a perfect record, 1-0, for the people I married staying together

2 Laurie congratulated Debbie for completing her breast cancer treatments, as Laurie completed hers in 2004 (see photo of Laurie and Debbie below).

3 The Alan Parsons Project, with 8 members, including Alan, was the main event. Debbie and I were able to chat with Parsons and his wife Lisa beforehand. (see photo below).

And, of course, the band’s closing song was Sirius/Eye In The Sky. Everybody was on their feet and taking videos during the 6-minute song for which the band is noted. (a link to Debbie’s video of them performing the song is below)
A bonus was the appearance of the lead singer of Ambrosia, David Pack, who performed four of that group’s songs, such as “Biggest Part of Me.”

4 Birthday boy Phil was on stage leading a hilarious 25-question quiz about his life. And then, at the end of the concert, he was on stage with Alan Parsons celebrating his 70th. (see photo above).

5 Campus Jax is an ideal place for a concert. Every seat is within 50 feet of the stage. The acoustics were perfect and the 140 guests helped themselves to a yummy buffet dinner with some of the best pasta dishes we had ever eaten.

What a night. I almost forgot, Happy Birthday Phil, and thank you, Laurie.
Link to Sirius/Eye in the Sky (Facebook)

Emotionally Available To Date?

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter
December 8, 2023
Emotionally Available To Date?
By Tom Blake

Mareah and George- Widowed Friends (photo by George B)

Two Widowed Friends (Champs) Featured Today

George B., San Francisco, is one of our longest-tenured Champs (for 20+ years). This week George emailed a picture of himself and his woman friend Mareah (see above). It was taken last week at the annual Christmas luncheon at The Presidio Golf & Concordia Club, in San Francisco.

George said, “The Presidio Golf Club was established in 1896 and the Argonaut-Concordia Club was established in 1864, both in San Francisco. The two clubs merged in 2016.

“Mareah and I met on September 27, 2007, four months after my second wife Laura died and six years after Mareah’s husband died. So, it’s been more than 16 years since our relationship began.

“Now we have a senior long-distance friendship (LDF) because Mareah became a first-time grandmother through her son last year and moved to Colorado Springs to be there for them.

We never got married, although we did seriously contemplate matrimony. “I am 83 and she is 64. We’ve had a grand adventure with annual cruises and land away-from-home trips, and she comes to the Bay Area with her now-married daughter so the companionship, albeit intermittent, continues.

“We will be cruising to Alaska for 11 days in 2024.” George is a special friend of mine. Here’s why. I checked my Gmail archives and since 2009, George has sent me 39 emails. His and Mareah’s love story is Chapter 29 in my “How 50 Couples Found Love After 50” book.

Mareah met George’s wife Laura years before in the early 2000s.

In September 2007, George was sitting at the bar at Celia’s Mexican Restaurant San Francisco (Judah Street at 45^th Avenue in San Francisco) when he spotted Mareah and asked her to sit beside him on a just-vacated barstool. Their relationship/friendship began then.

When I attended a Victoria Station Restaurant Chain reunion in Sausalito about 15 years ago, George decided to come. He had never worked at a VS restaurant but wanted to meet me and many other former employees. He fit right in with them. George retired from a career in the California National Guard and the US Coast Guard.

His Coast Guard affiliation was a nice coincidence for us. My Uncle, George Pardee, was a Chief Specialist for the Coast Guard, who was honorably discharged on September 5, 1945 (see Uncle George’s Honorable Discharge papers below).

What I’ve learned in writing columns for 29 years is that every Champ has had an interesting life. Thanks, George B. for sharing as you always do.

Part 2 -Kaitte wonders if she is emotionally available for a relationship

Champ Kaitte also emailed this week. (I also checked my Gmail archives and found that Kaitte has sent approximately 50 emails over the past 2 1/2 years.)
She said, “Your thoughts Tom? Can a woman be too self-sufficient? I’m thinking I’m so settled and content in my single life of 23 years, and have my little farm to keep me busy, that I might not be emotionally available for an intimate relationship. I want no man drama.

“But I wonder. I’m no sex goddess but I’m attractive and look younger than my age. Do men look at me and think she’s someone’s baby? I don’t wear rings on my ring finger. I’m always the one who strikes up a conversation. One date and they are gone. My friend said it’s because I don’t make men feel needed.”

In an earlier email, Kaitte wrote, “I have 6 companions, 2 dogs and 4 indoor/outdoor cats all rescues. They are great company, and no drama even as they age.

“I get a taste of what it would be like to live with someone when my son comes home, especially with friends. NO THANK YOU.”

Tom’s response to Kaitte

“Your comment, ‘Do men look at me and think she’s someone’s baby?’ reminds me of Jackson Browne’s song, Somebody’s Baby. Perhaps they do. But, in your case, there are other major considerations. (See the link below to the song Somebody’s Baby).

“You mention you have a small farm, and as I recall, it’s in a somewhat remote area of Colorado. My guess is the number of nearby single men in your age range is limited. You may need to do online dating so that you cast your net to include areas where there might be more men.

Living remotely, although you love it, might be a reason you aren’t meeting senior men. “Being emotionally available is a big consideration. You mention that you want ‘no man drama.’ Most relationships have some drama. That’s the nature of the sexes. You may be turning men off when first meeting them if you start ranting about man drama.

“I respect that you have six rescues. Most everyone loves pets. However, some men might be turned off by your six animals living at home. Also, some might be allergic to pets. I hope Champs with pets don’t freak out over my comment.

“Emotional availability is probably the biggest issue senior singles face. For a relationship to succeed, each partner must be emotionally available. If one isn’t, the relationship won’t work. “I know a widow, aged early 70s, who is the salt of the earth. A guy would be fortunate to have her in his life. She’s been a widow for just over a year. She’s one of the kindest and most considerate women I’ve ever met. She’s nonstop go-go-go with her women friends.

“But she does not want to date and she’s not emotionally available to date. Is that wrong? Heavens no, it’s simply her choice. She knows what’s important to her. But down the road, if she changes her mind and decides to date, she will need to become emotionally available. Maybe she will or maybe she won’t. But certainly not now.

“So Kaitte, in your case, I don’t think you are emotionally available. I’m not criticizing you, but you are content within your environment, so until you decide to embrace the senior dating scene, you will continue to ponder your self-sufficiency.” “We’ll see if Champs have thoughts or opinions of their own.”

Link below to Jackson Browne’s song “Somebody’s Baby.”

Link to Jackson Browne singing “Somebody’s Baby”

Tom's 50 couples book — **Tom’s How 50 Couples Found Love After 50″ Book**

Tom’s Uncle George’s US Coast Guard Honorable Discharge certificate dated September 5, 1945

Tenting a house for termites

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter

Columnist Tom Blake

November 3, 2023

I considered skipping the newsletter this week. Why? So darn busy.

I won’t bore you with too many details but thought I’d fill you in instead of writing nothing. I’ll likely lose a few subscribers this week because I’m not writing directly about senior dating.

Why so busy? First, I’m having my Dana Point California home tented for termites, a condition most California homeowners have to deal with about every 10 years or so. I’ve owned the home for 33 years and have never had it tented.

However, lately, I’ve seen evidence of termites munching on my interior wood such as wings and sawdust on the floor. When tenting, all food, medicines, and supplements must be double bagged and taped, including food in pantries and refrigerators. It took me 12 hours to get that done.

The home must be vacated for three days until the tent is removed (see picture below with the tent enclosing the house). A Champ named Debbie requested I send her a picture of the tented house. I did; she responded.

“Beautiful colors!!! Anyone coming to see you will know which house is yours without the address!”

I responded, “And police helicopters will be able to pinpoint it.”

Debbie, “That’s definitely a plus.”

Palm Springs

So, Monday morning, I drove 2 ½ hours to my Palm Springs vacation home. Upon arrival, I discovered that a leak from the main water line to the house had not been repaired.

I had been previously informed that it had been fixed. Hence, the water was turned off. Without water, no dishes can be washed, no toilets can be flushed, and no plants can be watered. Hence, I had to bird dog that situation, which took three hours, and then almost a half day on Tuesday.

Finally, the leak was repaired. There were other home-improvement projects in Palm Springs as well. Busy, busy, busy. Okay, enough about what kept me from enjoying the swimming pool.

Thank you

Thanks to Champs and friends who sent condolences, thoughts, and prayers about the first anniversary (October 29) of the passing of my partner Greta Cohn.

Don Wert, Greta’s son-in-law, emailed: “Sad week for all of us. Thinking of you. I am with my friend Doug on his boat heading from San Diego to Cabo San Lucas. We plan to get there on Sunday.”

Hearing from Don was very special to me, which I won’t explain. Plus, I don’t think I’ve ever received a text from a small boat heading to Cabo.

I replied: “Thank you, Don. I’m in Palm Springs dealing with maintenance issues at my vacation home here. Back to Dana Point on Wednesday–after the termite tent is removed–to put the house back together.

Pat emailed: “This note is to acknowledge your first year without Greta. A lot of firsts for those of us who have lost people we love. It does get easier but there will always be that part of us that still hurts.

“I can say from experience that we can find joy and love again if we are open to it. And I believe you are. Somewhere a lovely woman is waiting to meet someone like you. She won’t replace Greta but will be someone that will help you heal and your heart will open and you’ll feel full once again.

“Losing my daughter earlier this year has been one of the most difficult times of my life. But I have a wonderful support system and I went to therapy which was an enormous help and continue to do the things I love.

“What would have been my daughter’s 54th birthday is coming up on Nov. 4 and I’m not sure how I will deal with it; It’s been an unknown path for me. But with Len by my side, I’ll get through it. We do have plans for that day that were made many months ago and we’re going to keep them. I think when we grieve, we must do what works best for us and everyone is different.

“Take care and remember that you were loved by a wonderful, kind, and caring woman and she will always be in your heart. She would want you to be happy as you would her if the situation was reversed.”

Note from Tom: Patricia and Len are the couple in Chapter 21 of my book, “How 50 Couples Found Love After 50.”

Champ Bruce Maag, Delphos, Ohio, the owner of Coins/Currency/and Collectibles (Northwest Ohio’s Largest Coin Shop), forwarded an email with a photo titled “Snow at Burt Lake last night).” Wow, early winter.

Thanks to Bruce for reminding us that winter is just around the corner. Perhaps, Bruce, your Buckeyes will be playing football against arch-rival Michigan in the snow.

And lastly, a woman named Erika surprised me by ordering two books. Why the surprise? I don’t sell many of those two books because they were published in 1997 and 2003 respectively.

Erika commented, “The books are a gift for my 59-year-old son who is looking for a ‘girlfriend’ and lives in the High Desert in Joshua Tree (California desert). I will be visiting him in late November.”

Tom’s comment: “Oh wow, a whole new market for senior dating books. Now being sought after by the next generation, descendants of our Champs.”

Thanks, everybody, for tolerating me being a bit silly today. Bless you all

Tom’s House Tented

Wednesdays are never dull

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter

DECEMBER 2, 2022

By Columnist Tom Blake

Wednesdays are never dull

I allowed a dumb thing to happen this Wednesday. I received an email earlier in the week titled “Seeking Clarity” from a widower of two years that in a nutshell had to do with a woman he has been dating. It was lengthy, close to 1,000 words. He wanted to consult with me over the phone.

I read it and immediately felt it had enough widower-dating information to make an interesting eNewsletter for you Champs. Frankly, it’s been a bit difficult to generate meaningful topics since Greta passed away a month ago. My battery is a bit spent.

Anyway, I emailed back to him saying I’d be happy to consult with him and that I’d like to use his story in this week’s eNewsletter and asked for his permission to do so. Four days went by without a response.

So, Wednesday I realized I’d better get a newsletter written for today. I decided to use his story and started editing the material. I changed the names of the people involved and their locations just to protect myself. The project took close to four hours. I finally had what I thought was a worthwhile newsletter that you Champs would respond to.

Around 2 p.m., I got a response from him saying there were some items of information he did not want included and to hold the presses. So, here I had a completed eNewsletter for this week with which I was pleased. And I couldn’t use it. The dumb thing was that I invested four hours without being 100 percent sure it was okay with him. One would think that after 28 years of writing columns, I’d have been smarter than that. Again, I just haven’t been thinking clearly for the last month due to my loss of my mate for 25 years.

So what happened? I’ve been trying to senior downsize and get rid of stuff lately. I looked at one of the boxes in the living room that was filled with 136 Writer’s Digest Magazines, dated from 1987 through 2011. I don’t want to just pitch them out. I used these magazines to learn how to write and how to hone my writing back even before I became a columnist. I attribute the tips in those magazines to helping me learn the trade. Perhaps, a Champ or two will come up with an idea of what I can do with those magazines.

Also, I noticed, on top of the pile, a magazine titled “55 Plus. For Active Adults in Central New York.” It was dated June/July 2011. There was a promo on the front cover that read, “Seniors Using Online Dating Steadily Increasing.”

I started reading the article. It said, “The number of seniors who use online dating services is expected to skyrocket in the coming years…”

I said to myself, “Just for fun, I’ll read this article to see how online dating has changed since 2011.”

Paragraph five blew my mind. It said, “Tom Blake, an Orange County Register columnist and author of several books about finding love after the age of 50, said that more than half of 50 couples he surveyed for a recent book (How 50 Couples Found Love After 50, published in 2009) indicated that they found their current significant others on Internet dating sites.

The next paragraph read, “I was surprised by that,” said Blake, who also publishes a free e-Newsletter for older singles simply called the Tom Blake Newsletter. “And even more interesting was that one site, Match.com, blew away the competition, based on what the people said about their experiences with different sites.

“Changing attitudes are a big part of why so many more people over 50 are dating again,” Blake said. “Some people may elect to never marry again after a divorce, but they are looking to cohabitate.”

I had even more words of wisdom in that article but that’s enough for now. I can’t remember being interviewed by Aaron Gifford, the person who wrote the piece. Finding that story was the result of me being so dumb earlier in the day by writing for four hours, only to put that eNewsletter in the can, to be used in the future.

And here is a surprising coincidence. In the U.S. mail on Wednesday, a condolences card about my losing Greta a month ago arrived in the mailbox. It was from a woman who said, “My ex-boyfriend and I, Susan and Ward, are Chapter 35 in your How 50 Couples Found Love After 50 book. Our chapter is titled, Seeking an ‘intelligent and solvent’ man. Then she went on to explain why they aren’t together anymore. And then my worn-out Wednesday brain started thinking, “Humm, maybe that could be a future eNewsletter topic!”

My book, How 50 Couples Found Love After 50 is available on Amazon and my www.Finding Love After 50.com website or email me directly for a special price and signed copy.

So anyway, I hope I also get to use that initial column I wrote for today’s article soon. Knowing you Champs, I think you’d have a field day from what the widower wrote.

Around here, Wednesdays are never dull.

Senior Love on the back of a Harley

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter – August 12, 2022

By Tom Blake

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter August 12, 2022

By Columnist Tom Blake

There are two parts to today’s eNewsletter

Part 1 – Senior Dating – Love on the back of a Harley

I received an email this week from a Champ that began, “Hi, it’s Patricia, Chapter 12,” which puzzled me for a few seconds, and then I noticed that Patricia had added the words “Love on the back of a Harley.” When I saw those words, I knew immediately who it was from.

In 2009, I published a book titled “How 50 Couples Found Love After 50.” The book’s title is slightly off. A more accurate title would have been: “How 58 Couples Found Love After 50.” Eight additional stories were added after the final artwork was submitted. So, there are 58 stories of how senior couples met.

When I answered Patricia’s email, I signed my email–not as Tom–but as “Chapter 58,” which is the final story of the book and tells of how Greta and I met when she ordered a fresh carrot juice at my deli 25 years ago. Several of our current Champs’ stories are included in that book, including Patricia’s and Cowboy’s, which is Chapter 12.

In her email, Patricia wrote, “I wanted to share a fun and unique experience that happened recently. “My husband, Cowboy, and I moved from Paso Robles, California, to Montana, last year, and we love it. We bought a much nicer house for $100,000 less than the one we sold in California. The cost of gas is at least a dollar less a gallon and there is no sales tax. When you buy new furniture and a washer & dryer, as we did, that makes a huge difference!

“The Paramount TV Series ‘Yellowstone,’ starring Kevin Costner, is filmed here, and my husband and I have been paid to be extras in the show. What an adventure that has been! “Many people beg to be extras, but they will only hire residents of Montana. I can’t tell you much about it as we had to sign NDAs (non-disclosure agreements) but I can tell you that it’s an amazing and very well-managed production.

“Season 5 will start airing mid-November, but they will be shooting through January. We may do more days as extras. “On another subject, we are fully enjoying going over the Rockies on the Harley and doing the ‘Run to the Sun. “We live just an hour from Glacier National Park, so we are taking advantage of the warm weather and exploring many parts of the park. I’ve included some photos that reveal the spectacular scenery.”

Comment from Tom: As sometimes happens with stories from Champs, coincidences emerge. Two happened with Patricia’s email. She mentioned Kevin Costner. The first coincidence: my partner Greta was in a business administration class at California State University Fullerton with him in 1974.

The second coincidence is Glacier National Park. In 1976, my buddy Jack Jarrell and I went camping there with our two women friends. He and I were avid fly fishermen. The general store manager in our campground mentioned a lake about an hour’s hike away at a higher elevation that was filled with hungry native rainbow and brook trout. The four of us went for it and hiked to the lake. The weather was as perfect that day as the pictures that Patricia included in her email reveal.

Each one of us caught our fish limits within an hour. It was the most incredible fly fishing I had ever experienced. We decided to take the fish back to the campsite to cook for dinner. Jack’s lady Jan said she had a special recipe for cooking wild-caught trout. We were licking our chops (what we did not know was there was a 4-legged hungry animal nearby which was also licking its chops).

As the four of us were walking back, about 200 yards from the lake, a park ranger on horseback with a high-powered rifle protruding from a saddlebag approached us. He said, “I see you have some fish.”

I guessed that perhaps he thought we didn’t have fishing licenses. I said, “We all have fishing licenses!” He said, “This is far more serious than that.” He had our attention. The Park Ranger said, “Did you see that pile of poop about 25 yards back?” We all nodded yes.

He said, “Was it steaming?” We all nodded yes. He said, “A grizzly bear just dropped that 10 to 15 minutes ago. He will smell your fish and be coming after you for them. He’d be happy to kill you to get them.” The Park Ranger was dead serious. He said, “Toss your fish in the bushes and follow me. I will lead you away from the bear.”

We complied. After a quarter mile, he said, “You’re safe now. I’m leaving. Have a nice day.” At the campsite that night, we cooked hamburgers over the fire. We imagined that our grizzly buddy was enjoying a fresh fish dinner near the lake. That’s the Glacier National Park coincidence. So, Champs, keep the stories coming. Have I told you about the shark encounter on The Great Barrier Reef? Only joking, of course.

Part 2 – How 50 (58) Couples Found Love After 50

I’ve got a few copies of How 50 Couples Found Love After 50 in inventory. For Champs who would enjoy a book, the cost is $8.98 which includes taxes, shipping, and a signed book. In 2009, that would have cost $24.00. You can pay with a credit card via my PayPal account or a check. Email me if you’d like a book at that special price. Each of the 58 stories concludes with a short “Senior Dating Lessons Learned” section, which provides helpful advice for singles who hope to meet a mate.

For example, in Champ Patricia’s Chapter 12 section, her lesson is: “When senior dating, open your mind to new adventures and activities. Expand your horizons, your reach, and your thinking.” When Patricia and Cowboy first met, Cowboy rode a Harley; Patricia was a fashion-industry expert. Diverse backgrounds. And yet, they met, married, and have an incredible relationship and love for each other. Ride along with them on their Harley.

**Tom’s book on sale -email me tompblake@gmail.com for details**

Time Waits For No One

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter – October 29, 2021

by Tom Blake – Columnist

As a kid in 1954, one of the singing groups I enjoyed the most was The Hilltoppers. Their lead singer was Jimmy Sacca who had an incredible voice. They were best known for their song, “P.S. I Love You.”

But it wasn’t “P.S. I Love You” that I thought about this week when I received updates from four couples who were featured in my 2009 book, “How 50 Couples Found Love After 50,” which we mentioned in last week’s eNewsletter.

**Tom Blake’s book “How 50 Couples Found Love After 50**“

It was another Hilltoppers song titled, “Time Waits For No One” that came to my mind when I read how life had changed for the four couples. That song and the responses from the four couples made me reflect on how quickly time passes. Below are the words to “Time Waits For No One” :

“Time waits for no one it passes you by,

It rolls on forever, like the clouds in the sky

Time waits for no one, goes on endlessly,

It’s just like a river flowing out to sea

You’ll find that love is like this,

Each precious moment we miss

Will never, ever return again.

So don’t let us throw one sweet moment away

Time waits for no one, let’s take love while we may.”

What the four couples reported

1. Jon (now 74) and Sharon (now 69), Olympia, Washington.

First date: September 2007. Met at a singles club. Jon emailed: “Sharon and I are still together. She is busy with the Master Gardener’s growing food for the homeless. I am busy with the Humane Society and Sierra Club. We still have our own homes (six miles apart) which works out pretty well.

“No plans to get married or live together. I think our arrangement is best for us. I enjoy hearing about the others who were also in the book.”

A lesson learned from Jon and Sharon: Older couples can be happy without being married or living together.

2. Roger (now 71) and Jeanne (now 67), Huntington Beach, California.

Met on Match.com in 2003. Roger had become a widower at age 52 after 30 years of marriage. Jeanne was twice divorced. Both Roger and Jeanne are San Francisco 49ers fans.

Roger emailed, “Jeanne and I married in 2008 and are still going strong. Our first major change was buying a house together. Since we met, we now have three more grandchildren in addition to my one grandchild.

“I spend a lot of my time with my life-long hobby of outdoor hydroplane racing. Jeanne is involved in helping her daughter with her two girls, doing much reading and helping her brother who has some health issues. We’ve done a bit of traveling but COVID kind of put the brakes on that.

“We just take things a day at a time. I still read your column and enjoy seeing how older people react to each other and forge ahead in the world.”

A lesson learned from Roger and Jeanne: A good time to meet someone online is when that new person first appears on the Internet site. Roger reached out to Jeanne the first time she went online.

3. Jean (now 81) and Bob (passed away), Dana Point, California, both previously married for 45 years, Jean was divorced, Bob a widower and caregiver to his wife. Jean and Bob met on Senior People Meet. Com.
Jean emailed, “Sadly, Bob passed away in 2017. It was truly devastating. We had 10 very wonderful years together. Each of us had been previously married for 45 years.

A lesson learned from Jean and Bob: For a widowed person, who spent extended periods of time as a caregiver to a mate, the healing process may be far shorter when compared to a person who loses a mate unexpectedly.

4. Pat (79 now) and Len (74 now), Easton, Pa., met online on BikerKiss.com.

Pat was a widow. Pat wrote, “My significant other, Len, and I have been together for almost 17 years. November 17 will be our first-date anniversary.

“We’ve been through a lot together –some health issues for both of us and of course, COVID 19. Our relationship has grown and strengthened over the years, and we are happily living together still.

“For 10 years we traveled the USA and Canada via motorcycle approximately 250,000 miles. We’ve visited 49 states and most Canadian Provinces. Len sold the bike in 2016 and then we started to travel to Europe and hopefully when COVID is more under control and more restrictions are lifted we can continue doing so.

“We have remained active; we both walk, and I do yoga. We have a small group of friends that we enjoy doing things with and I have a select group of female friends that I enjoy being with. “We still love going to concerts, museums, and try to do something of interest several times a month. We have ‘date nights’ plus staying home watching a movie and holding hands still is a favorite thing to do.

“Meeting Len was one of the best things that happened to me, and he feels the same way. The longer we are together the better things get. Comfortable and content make it all work for us. “Congratulations on 24 years together for you and Greta. That doesn’t surprise me. When you find the right person, you should hold on and do everything to make the relationship a fulfilling one for each of you.”

A lesson learned from Pat and Len: Pat is five years older than Len, and yet, their story in the book stated, “Len is the happiest he’s been in a long time.”
When men realize that dating women close to their age, including women who are older, they open up opportunities for rewarding relationships.

As of this week, I’m aware of the status of 27 of those 58 couples featured in my book, “How 50 Couples Found Love After 50” from 2009. Eleven of the 27 are still together, 16 are not. Some separated and some lost a mate to death. In a couple of situations, both mates passed. The updated stories from the book reinforce that “Time Waits For No One” so make the best of your time together and appreciate each other.

I hope to gather a few more status updates about the remaining 31 couples who were included in the book.

Check out the Hilltoppers “Time Waits For No One” on Youtube. Here is the link:
Link to “Time Waits For No One” by the Hilltoppers

For an added treat while you are on that site, listen to “P.S. I Love You,” also by the Hilltoppers. The words are typical of the early 1950s. For example, “Was it dusty on the train?” and “I burned a hole in the dining room table,” (presumably from smoking).

Note from Tom: See picture below. Trust me, it wasn’t dusty on this train–nothing but first-class service on the famed Orient Express that Tom and Greta rode in 2007 from Venice to Prague to Paris. That was 14 years ago. Where did the time go?

**Tom Blake and Greta Cohn 2007 before boarding the Orient Express train in Venice**

What became of the 58 Couples?

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter – October 22, 2021

What became of the 58 couples?

In 2009, I published “How 50 Couples Found Love After 50.” The book was based on information that 58 Champ couples had provided. You may think “58” is a misprint, but it’s not. After the cover artwork was finished, eight more stories came in. My editor said, “Don’t change the artwork or book title, it’s catchy and would be expensive to change. Include the eight new stories; think of them as bonus stories.”

How 50 Couples Found Love After 50 book cover by Tom Blake — **There are actually 58 stories of how couples met in this book**

I was honored to have John Gray, author of, “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” provide an endorsement on the book’s front cover, which reads, “Tom Blake is an expert on dating after 50.” How he knew that I have no idea, but I’ll accept it as a compliment.

I’ve often thought about what became of those 58 couples. I am aware of what happened to 14 couples. Some have split; some have become widows or widowers and about seven couples are still together.

If any of you are reading this eNewsletter today and were included in the book, please update me on what the status is of your relationship. If I hear from enough people, I might consider publishing an update to that book.

And, of course, I know the status of couple #58. That would be Greta and Tom, together for 24 years. They look like the couple on the front cover of the book, standing near the St. Francis of Assisi Cathedral in Italy.

This week I learned from Champ Lisa (Chapter 23) what became of her and her husband John. They divorced. He remarried; she’s happily single. She’s led a rather fascinating life.

Since her divorce from John, Lisa has had a long-distance relationship with a man 9 1/2 years younger. However, Lisa says “We met 10 years ago. Dated exclusively for two years and remain good friends. We met on Match.com.

“Sadly, our distance and interests preclude it from being more. He lives on Kodiak Island, Alaska, and doesn’t enjoy the heat. I live in Naples, Florida, and don’t enjoy the cold. No regrets, only fond memories.

“He is still hooked on my ‘candied bourbon bacon’ and he has sent me a lot of incredible sport-caught wild Alaskan fish in exchange for my bacon. We are no longer dating each other but have remained friends. I am so lucky.

“WILD King Salmon, Halibut, Sockeye, Rockfish, shrimp, scallops. He says his popularity in the local hunting/fishing community goes up when my bacon shows up. He sent a video of his tour guide on a recent hiking/camping adventure, shouting from a mountain top, that stated, “Lisa, if you are even half as awesome as your bacon, you are amazing.’ It’s a fun friendship. I have no clue about his romantic life, nor he about mine. It never comes up.”

Brief responses to the second-date kiss issue

S (woman) emailed, “Second date kissing? That wasn’t kissing, that was full slobbering making out. Totally inappropriate!”

Larry, “I’m surprised Gypsy didn’t floor the guy and yell, ‘Help, I’m being attacked.”

T (woman), “On a second date, I may expect a kiss but definitely not the kind Gypsy got from him. He was disrespectful of her. Rude!”

Susan, “I had the same thing happen to me and decided not to accept any further dates with the guy. He felt it appropriate to shove his tongue down my throat and not stop when I tried to push him away. I had to slide away in a less than graceful and desperate movement.”

A (woman), “I’ve had that happen to me too, many times, when I was in my 60s and dating. Most of those times were from men younger than I.”

My opinion: The guy was disgusting. A total jerk. Men should never force a mouth-to-mouth kiss on a woman.

And this

John, “The 68-year-old woman who is convinced that men in their 50s are after her for sex is proof that hope springs eternal.”

Let us hear from you

I’m inviting all Champs who have never emailed me to send in comments regarding senior living and dating in the cities and states in which they reside.

Senior dating success stories

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter – October 1, 2021

by Tom Blake

Senior Success Stories and other comments

Champ George, San Francisco, emailed: “Today – September 27, 2021 – Mareah and I met 14 years ago at Celia’s by-the-beach Mexican restaurant and cantina on Judah Street, Sunset District, San Francisco, so that’s 14 years ago. Our romance matured into a forever friendship…! I’m 81; she’s 62.”

Tom’s comment: George was a newsletter subscriber long before he met Mareah. Their relationship shows that an age difference doesn’t necessarily matter in a relationship.

The picture was provided by George of he and Mareah on a Princess cruise which was an 80^th birthday present from Mareah to him.

Remember Ginny and Harry from our April 27 eNewsletter? She’s 80; he’s 87. They knew each other as kids. He was married 59 years and then widowed. They re-met at a PA Senior Center in a room where men shot pool. She volunteered at the center. He asked her out but made it clear to her that he wanted neither wanted to remarry or even no live together, just someone to pal around with. That was eight years ago.

This May, Ginny emailed that Harry had changed his mind. He decided he wanted to get married this November. And then, a month later, Ginny emailed an update: Harry changed his mind again. They’d be married in September.
One of our Champs, Tammy Lagorce, a NY Times “Weddings columnist,” became interested in Ginny’s and Harry’s story. Tammy asked me for permission to contact Ginny.

Ginny emailed this week. “Well, we did it (got married). It was a lovely day. It was so nice to meet Weddings columnist Tammy (Lagorce) and photographer Michelle (both from the NY Times). Our local paper featured our story Sunday. Tammy told us that our story will appear in the NY Times sometime in November.”

Tom’s comment: Kudos to Ginny. She made this event happen by first alerting us to her story with Harry and being cooperative by keeping us and Tammy Lagorce informed. Lesson learned: Regardless of age, never give up. And think about it: one of our Champs married at 80 and her story is being featured in the NY Times.

Diane emailed: “Three years ago after a man broke up with me after 7 1/2 years—because he didn’t think he could spend the rest of his life with me–I was crushed. It turns to have been the best thing that ever happened to me.
“Six months later, I set out to meet Mr. Right. I joined five dating sites and met three men a week at a coffee shop. I met lots of great guys, but Mr. Right was #57. We laugh about it today. I’m 76; my guy is 71.

“I kept notes on all the dates and have great stories to tell. I never met a bad guy and could have had a second date with many but only did with a couple of them. I decided I wasn’t going to settle for less than what I wanted.

“He came along, and we’ve been enjoying life, laughter, travel and so much fun ever since. I kinda made it a challenge and thought the process would make a fun book. That’s what kept me going.

“I made sure the men all lived within 45 minutes and if I had a second date with a man, I Googled him to make sure he was legit. There are some wonderful men out there looking for the right gal. It takes work and can be fun.”
Tom’s comment: Diane’s story also has valuable relationship lessons for older singles. A crushing breakup can be a blessing, although it’s hard to understand and accept at the time it happens.

Diane conducted her search as if she were trying to find the right job or career for herself. To meet the right mate, singles need to cast their net far and wide and put their best foot forward. Be tenacious.

Since Diane kept notes about her dates, and she said it would be a fun (and positive) book, I suggested Diane write a book about her multiple dates. She sounds like she’d put a positive spin on her experience.

In 2009, when I had received from my readers 50 senior dating success stories, I included them in a book titled “How 50 Couples Found Love after 50.” Each couple’s story has valuable lessons learned from how they met. You can read about that book (pictured below) in my online bookstore (link below).

Charles, my Navy roommate aboard the USS Noble, APA 218, during the Viet Nam war, checked in this week. His family founded and has owned the Boardwalk Amusement Park in Santa Cruz, California, since the early 1900s. Charlie and his wife Betty lost their home to the fire north of Santa Cruz last year.

Charles emailed, “The Boardwalk ended the summer strong, but it just about killed everyone because of our lack of getting employees. I, at age 81, was running rides on some big days, which was fun but hard on someone my age.
“Betty and I finally bought a house last month but won’t be able to move in until November 1. It has a small guest house, so you and Greta need to plan a trip this way.”

Tom’s comment: Charlie and I have been friends since 1963. That’s 58 years. Our ship was based in Subic Bay, Philippines Islands, and carried 3,000 battle-ready marines.

If you visit The Boardwalk in Santa Cruz and see an 81-year-old dude helping on the Big Dipper roller coaster or some other ride, introduce yourself and thank him for being a veteran, a Champ, and for contributing to today’s eNewsletter. And tell him his old Navy buddy, “Old T.P,” as he calls me, says hello.

Champ Norm, San Clemente, emailed. “You and I met at your former deli two years ago at a senior Meet and Greet. That night you advised me to immediately latch on to a ‘winner” woman attending, but she had already arranged with another guy to take her home.

“Not a problem. I’ve had several dates, mostly from online dating and that is difficult. Frustrating way to go. But never just the right chemistry. Finally, three months ago, I connected with a genuine, wonderful woman.”

We have a fabulous relationship and so much in common. I’m 87. She’s 77, very active, and smart. And, she has no problem sharing expenses. In fact, she goes overboard. Very loving and has a great sense of humor. We are so busy going and doing.

“I’ve been widowed 3 ½ years, after a 63-year marriage, and she’s been widowed eight years, after a 44-year marriage. We are so happy and it’s a match made in heaven. We both consider ourselves to be very lucky indeed!”

Tom’s comments: Think about this: Norm and his woman-friend have a combined 107 years of marriage experience under their belts. How blessed they are to have found each other. They each know a good thing when they each see it. I’m not suggesting marriage, but if that thought ever arises, I’ll bet “Weddings columnist” Tammy Lagorce would likely reach out to Norm and his woman friend.

Champ Pat emailed: “I can’t believe I’ve been following your writing for 20+ years. I stumbled onto you when I was a young widow at age 50 and am now 72 and still single. I am happy the way I am but do occasionally wish for a mate.
“I moved from the East Coast to the West Coast and met new friends through your suggestion to check out Meetup.com groups. I thank you for that because I had never heard of Meetup before. So glad I did.”

Tom’s comment: Pat, thanks for being a reader for so long. I think I started calling people Champs about 10 years ago. My first newspaper column was July 7, 1994, and appeared in the Dana Point News. It was titled, “Home alone with only the dogs for company.”

Since then, when combining newspaper columns and eNewsletters, the total is now more than 4,200 articles written. I’m blessed and I’ll keep writing as long as Champs keep sending in their information, as so many did this week.