Columnist Tom Blake – Page 4 – On Life and Love after 50

Senior Dating. Who Pays For The Date?

On Life & Love After 50 eNewsletter

February 16, 2024

Columnist Tom Blake

Senior Dating. Who Pays For the Date?

A woman Champ from the Midwest emailed and asked to remain anonymous so I will call her Dawn. She raised a question that’s been around for the 30 years I’ve written about senior dating: Who pays for the date?

And if a relationship develops, how do couples deal with expenses? Who pays for what?

Dawn is involved in a long-distance relationship. Her manfriend lives approximately 2,000 miles away. Long-distance relationships usually have added expenses, mainly the cost of travel to see each other, which Dawn alludes to.

Her email subject line read: “Dating over 60 and many miles apart…”

And then she continued, “I know there are many variables to consider, but given two average-income people, how much is a woman expected to pay?

“Airfare, dinners, hotels, outings, vacations…Unless the male in the relationship is very well off, is it the norm to split most expenses 50/50?

“If the man pays for the flight to come visit, is it fair to say the woman pays for the meals and any fun events planned while visiting if they are all initiated by the woman?

“Or if I am the one traveling west, and during my stay I want to eat out at a restaurant out of my norm…because I initiated it, should I be paying for it there?

“There is still a lot to be said for men who are complete gentlemen; opening all doors, standing up at the table when the woman stands up, helping and carrying her coat., etc. These are all so perfectly done for me, always, and I am just trying to understand the money part.

“My older female friends feel strongly that I am crazy, and that I should be paying for nothing.

“I understand they come from an era 25-40 years prior and can’t relate to dating in their sixties.

“They have all told me if their husbands passed tomorrow, they would never go down the dating or marriage road again.

“Have times changed?

“I don’t want to be a fool in love; I just want to feel supported while in love.”

Tom’s Comments

Who Pays For The Date? has been a controversial topic for years. In my 30-years of writing about senior dating, I’ve written about it several times and I published an eBook in 2009 titled “Senior Dating. Who Pays For the Date?” Details about the availability of that book are at the end of today’s column.

Back to Dawn’s email. Some of our men Champs may take offense to a few of the sentences.

For example, this one: “Unless the male in the relationship is very well off, is it the norm to split most expenses 50/50?”

The question infers that men who are well off should pay for everything. Love and relationships are about sharing. Not about a man paying for everything if he is well off.

And it’s important to note that women who are well off shouldn’t have to pay for everything just because they can.

Three more sentences that could be offensive to men

And then there were three other sentences that some men might find offensive.

1 “My older female friends feel strongly that I am crazy, and that I should be paying for nothing.”

2 “I understand they (her older women friends) come from an era 25-40 years prior and can’t relate to dating in their sixties.”

3 “They have all told me if their husbands passed tomorrow, they would never go down the dating or marriage road again.”

Regarding sentence #1, some men might suggest she should stop listening to her older female friends who are out of touch with the reality of modern times senior dating. Women pay nothing?

Regarding sentence #2, that her friends who have that attitude come from an era 25-40 years ago, that they can’t relate to dating in their 60s.

Let me tell you how quickly attitudes can change when people from that era suddenly lose their loved one. I speak from experience. I never dreamed that I’d have to relate to dating at my age. I was three years older than Greta and assumed I would pass before her. And suddenly, she was gone. I had to relate to dating in my 80s and no, I wasn’t about to pay for everything.

However, if I initiated the first date, I would pay for everything. Even if I didn’t initiate it. And probably the first few dates.

Regarding sentence #3, if those women lost their husbands, they would never go down the dating path again. Let me tell those women, that after sitting home night after night and being lonely, they might change their tune. Maybe they would go down the dating path again. Of course, if they did, they would have to change their thinking and not be so anti-men.

So, what about senior singles who find a new mate? Who pays what? How is that decided? Through open and honest communication, love for each other, and fairness considered, each couple will develop their guidelines for sharing expenses. A person who is more well off than their partner, and who can do it financially, will often help the partner they care about with the partner’s finances.

However, one thing is certain, neither person will likely pay 100 percent of the expenses.

Will there be occasions when the men will pay more? Of course. And where a woman will pay more. Yes.

My eBook, “Senior Dating. Who Pays For The Date?” is available on www.Smashwords.com. Just type in my name in the search box and all the eBooks that I’ve published will appear. The cost for the Senior Dating. Who Pays For The Date is $2.39. It can be read online or downloaded to your device.

Smashwords was recently acquired by Draft2digital.com so you may have to go draft2digital.com to purchase the book. Here are the links to both sites.

www.smashwords.com

www.draft2digital.com

“Hello, I’m Johnny Cash”

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter
January 26, 2024
“Hello I’m Johnny Cash”
By Columnist Tom Blake

”Hello, I’m Johnny Cash”

Anyone who has attended a Johnny Cash concert or seen a video of him performing recognizes his introductory words, “Hello, I’m Johnny Cash.”

I heard him say that in person more than 25 times. The most indelible time was inside the walls of San Quentin Prison. I was seated in front of the makeshift stage in row one of the prisoners’ cafeteria, where concerts were held. Approximately 500 unruly and unshackled prisoners were seated nearby. Armed guards with loaded rifles walked on the catwalk 10 feet overhead.

When Johnny walked to the microphone and said, “Hello, I’m Johnny Cash,” the prisoners nearly rioted with joy and yelling. A prisoner seated next to me gently poked me in the ribs and asked, “Who the hell are you?”

I mumbled, “A friend of Johnny’s.”

Most Champs know I worked with Johnny Cash for two years in the mid-1970s. I remained friends with Johnny and his wife June Carter until they sadly passed away in 2003.

I’ve known and remained friends with Rosanne Cash, Johnny’s daughter, for 47 years. I attempt to meet with her backstage whenever she performs in Southern California. Last September, Champ Mike joined me backstage at Chapman University; he was thrilled to meet Rosanne. (See the picture below of Mike S. and Rosanne)

A few weeks ago, Champ Dee sent me an alert that The 2023-24 Johnny Cash The Official Concert Experience international tour was appearing on January 21 at the Segerstrom Center For The Arts in nearby Costa Mesa. I thought, maybe I’ll go. Shortly thereafter, Susie Lopez, a Communications Specialist for the Segerstrom Center, contacted me and asked if I’d be willing to attend the event and possibly share the experience with my readers.

Susie said, “This wonderfully nostalgic experience will bring songs and stories to the stage in a special way the audiences have never seen or heard before.” Susie’s words piqued my interest. She continued, “With a video of Johnny from episodes of The Johhny Cash TV Show projected on a screen above the stage, a live band and singers will accompany him in perfect sync.” That description did it for me. I accepted Susie’s invitation.

(There is a link below to the production company website. Highly recommended and informative.)

I asked how she knew that I had known Johnny Cash. She said she had seen the article I wrote for the three South Orange County newspapers (and for this eNewsletter) in September about Champs Jim, Debbie and I attending a Johnny Cash tribute band concert at The Coach House in Dana Point CA.

At this week’s show, Champs Jim, Dee, Wayne, and Nancy stopped by our seats to chat with Debbie and me. It was kind of a senior dating night at Segerstrom. Perhaps some other Champs were there as well. The show was awesome.

During the show, I was nostalgic — reflecting on how fortunate I was to have known Johnny and June — but also how blessed I’ve been throughout my life.

When Johnny sang Kris Kristofferson’s song, “Sunday Morning Coming Down,” on the big screen behind the stage, I about lost it. Johnny had dedicated that song to me in the Sahara Tahoe Resort Hotel ballroom in front of 2,000 people in 1975.

At last Sunday’s concert, one band member triggered my memories: The lead guitarist. Not a man–mind you– but a woman named Debbie Horton. She is the only woman who ever played lead guitar for Johnny. She made me think of Mother Maybelle Carter, June’s mother, who was known for the song “Wildwood Flower.”

Debbie Horton knew every song and always smiled during the concert. I reached out to her by email on Monday morning; she answered immediately. We connected through the common bond of Johnny Cash.

Debbie responded: “It was WONDERFUL to hear from you! I loved how Johnny went back into the studio and recorded the old Sun Records songs with so much energy. “I try my best to play the guitar parts note-by-note and not add or take away. I kind of do a mix of Luther (Perkins) and Bob (Wooten) – depending on the song. Hearing from people who really appreciate what I’m doing means the world to me – and you know what it’s supposed to sound like!”

And then she commented about senior dating: “I lost my husband in 2017 and ‘senior dating’ has its own challenges. I’d like to hear your views on that too.”

So, Debbie Horton will become a Champ, at least to read this article, and maybe to continue receiving the eNewsletter as she is a widow. She lives in Nashville. Her website is listed below.

What three women and one man Champs said about the show

I asked our woman Champs who attended the show for their impressions. Nancy said, “Before the Segerstrom Show, I hadn’t thought that Johnny Cash was as much of a poet as a lyricist — much in the tradition of Bob Dylan. I enjoyed the opportunity to dig deeper into Johnny’s words.”

Tom’s response to Nancy: “Johnny and Bob Dylan became friends. They performed an unforgettable duet when they sang, ‘Girl From The North Country,’ which was featured in the movie, The Bridges of Madison County and is on the Dylan album, Nashville Skyline. They were so out of sync, they sounded fabulous together with those incredible and powerful voices.

I’ve known Champ Dee for seven years. She attended the singles events at my Dana Point deli. I told her back then that she reminded me of June Carter Cash. Dee emailed Monday, the morning after the show, and mentioned my June Carter look-alike comment from years before: “I kept thinking about your comparison when video/audio clips of June came on the big screen last night, and yes, I can see the similarity connection. I am highly flattered.”

She added, “The main observation from last night was I had no idea how important Johnny’s voice was. I remember watching his show a few times when I was a very young child, which is probably why I didn’t understand the impact that he was making and was so moved by seeing it from the perspective of not only the band but also the moments of his son John Carter Cash talking on the big screen.

“I am tremendously grateful for having the opportunity to have attended last night, which came about because I opened your eNewsletter, thought how fun, reached out to Jim, and logged into my account at the Segerstrom to buy the tickets! Small series of events that led to one extremely memorable evening for me.”

Comment from Tom: “Regarding Johnny’s voice, June often teased him by calling him Old Golden Throat. I heard her say that multiple times.

My friend Debbie said, “What struck me the most was Johnny’s understanding of truth. Even more than that was we all have options or choices. He chose love over hate. I’ve often said that we don’t have control over situations, but rather we have choices about how we react to situations and about our attitude toward self, others, and life. I think Johnny Cash would agree.

“And I loved Johnny’s song, Man in Black. He had incredible empathy for the downtrodden. For example, his song words, ‘I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down…I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime. But is there because he’s a victim of the times…’

“You, Tom, witnessed that live in San Quentin Prison. “(Link to song Man in Black below)

Champ Wayne said, “I enjoyed the combination of clips of his TV show, live band, and singers performances and Johnny’s son’s commentary of a musical icon.”

So, Champs, as you might suspect, this concert at the Segerstrom touched me deeply. I’ve enjoyed sharing the experience. You are all special to me. There are 3 links below:

(1) Lead guitarist Debbie Horton’s website
(2) Johnny singing Man In Black
(3) The 2023-24 Johnny Cash The Official Concert Experience
www.debbiehorton.com

Link to Man In Black

Johnny Cash Concert Experience website

**Dee Tom and Debbie at the Concert (below)**

vs mia parking lot 1975 — **Dee Tom and Debbie at the Concert (below)**

Gummies vs. Alcohol

NL #3 JAN 19, 2024,

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter

By Columnist Tom Blake

From This Week’s Mailbag:

Darla messaged me on Google: “Subject: long-distance dating. I was fortunate to find your Finding Love After 50 website while I was looking for some much-needed advice on long-distance dating. I would love to be educated on what should feel good and what doesn’t.

“My love story has brought many new questions about what I’m used to in the world of dating. I question if it’s the different states he and I live in or the lifestyles we have lived. Can these things change a man and a woman that much over the years?

“Please tell me if I need to say more. I’m a Minnesota woman dating a California guy I met in a Minnesota small-town café while waitressing in the summer of 1979. Sadly, back then we said our goodbyes. Forty years later he finds me.

“Old chemistry remains, but we are two very different people now. I’m hoping my questions are the same as many other single people out there have who are trying to make a relationship work.

Tom’s comment: Sometimes I receive comments from readers on Messenger. I always respond and provide the person with my email address, which I did with Darla. I told her I needed more information to give her a helpful answer.

And as often happens on Messenger, I get no response. This happened with Darla. A long-distance relationship between Minnesota and California must be difficult. How often would people see each other? Who would be willing to move? After 45 years of not seeing each other, does the “old chemistry” really remain? We may never know.

Francine emailed, “I’m still on the dating sites. One guy wanted to meet me but gave me a difficult time in arranging it. Then he said let’s talk on the phone. Okay, I said, how about Tuesday at 6 p.m?

“He said, “Would you text me at 5 p.m. to remind me?” Ha, that’s a red flag.

“I vaguely thought I knew him from the past. It nagged at me, so I got up at 1 a.m. and looked at my phone contacts with his name and number and sure enough I did know him from a few years ago. I remembered why I never met him in person. He was a pain in the rear … lazy guy. I wrote to him and said, ‘I told you from the beginning I thought I knew you.’ I’m hardly every wrong!”

Army chimed in, “From a never-been-married man, who has been told that I’m a nice guy but … then the women move back to dating guys who cheat on them or are verbally, physically, or both, abusive to them. Then, they wonder why they always get the losers?

“I say, ‘Stop and think, these are the people you chose. You don’t think about the nice guys you left.

“I forget the percentage of people who have never been married, but the last time I looked, I thought it was surprisingly high.”

Gummies vs. Alcohol

A woman Champ who requested to remain anonymous,wrote: “I still work, so I don’t drink alcohol during the week. However, come Friday and Saturday, I like nothing more than opening a bottle of Chardonnay and enjoying it while I am making dinner. If I do go out, I will have two or three glasses of wine. If more than two, I won’t drive.

“I see my boyfriend of almost four years on weekends only. We live about 30 miles apart, So, when he sees me and comes over, I usually have some wine open. I never drink to get drunk or stupid silly, it’s just for enjoyment and a reward from working hard all week, taking care of the home, paying bills, doing chores, etc.

“It helps take the ‘edge’ off. He would rather that I don’t drink at all as he does not. (There was a time he drank too much, stopped about 15 years ago, cold turkey, never went to an AA meeting in his life). Just stopped.

“However, he does like to smoke pot on occasion and do cannabis-infused gummies. I must say the gummies are loads of fun and together we have a great time when doing them. We dance, we laugh, tell silly stories, etc.

“The problem is I still prefer my Chardonnay over the gummies. He would rather me stop drinking alcohol and just take the gummies. He swears they are way better for you than alcohol. So, we argue about that: Gummies vs. Alcohol. What do your champs think about that?

“Do relationships work when one drinks (socially) and the other does not drink at all?

He and I will probably never move in together; he likes his home, I like mine and sometimes I think if we did live with one another, that might cause problems for us, so I guess we will continue to be together and live apart.

Tom’s comment. I’ve never written on your topic. It will be interesting to hear what Champs say. I will add this: Do not drive even after one glass of wine, and certainly not after two glasses or more. Not only do you endanger yourself and other people, but a DUI in California will cost approximately $20,000. Your driver’s license will be suspending, you will have to attend six months of school, and an interlock device and breath analyzer will be installed on your car. Simply not worth it.

I hope Champs respond to this woman’s question.

Single woman Champ in Dana Point is still seeking a roommate

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that two women Champs were seeking roommates in South Orange County, California. One of the women, from Dana Point, is still looking. I saw her last week; she mentioned she’s still hoping to find a nice woman roommate, but doesn’t want a person who works from home. She is a delightful woman and has a very nice home.

If interested, email me at tompblake@gmail.com and I will forward your information to her.

Responses to Multiple Marriages

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter
January 12, 2024
Responses to Multiple Marriages Column last week
By Columnist Tom Blake

Multiple Marriages in Later Life?
(photo by Tom Blake)

Responses to last week’s Multiple Marriages

In reviewing the responses from Champs to last week’s eNewsletter, “Do Multiple Marriages Matter?”, I came upon an article on the UPI News website that surprised me. Before sharing that with you, here are nine responses to last week’s eNewsletter.

Eileen emailed, “My wonderful late husband, who was my second, had been married twice before, making me number three. We had 26 great years together and I always say, ‘I’m the one who made him happy.’”

Deanne: “I think there can be too many marriages. Sometimes we have bad luck and not much experience and that could count for (#1). Death could count for (#2). I married a murderer could count for (#3). I don’t know what others think but five or more do not motivate me.

“One of my meetup dates asked me why I answered his messages when he had been married three times already. I told him I was rolling the dice and didn’t have much to lose. He had no sense of humor, and I had my answer to the three previous marriages. Only one date and I paid for my meal.”

Laurie Jo: “Marriage is a serious commitment. I chose to divorce after 29 years. I will never marry again because I don’t want to ever go through divorce again. It was horrible. “If somebody had married twice, I’d be ok with it.

Anything over that? No. Marriage is an agreement and even as I’ve reached my senior years if somebody has been married over two times I am out. It means the person has no sense of commitment, or it means that person was a bad “picker.”

Sandy, “There is no need to be scared off by the number – until you investigate the circumstances. Caveat: Eight would still cause me to take a breath.”

Bruce, “Any number over three would be a red flag for me unless they had all passed away somehow.”

Chris (woman) “While I’ve been dating for a few months, I’ve met two gentlemen who have never been married and have no children. As a woman who was married once for 25 years, I find this curious. “Both men said they had relationships, but they never developed into marriage. What do you think of this kind of man? I’m not interested in marriage again, but it makes me think they aren’t capable of a commitment either.”

Linda, “I think the number of marriages or serious relationships can matter because if you have been married seven times, these have not been long relationships. It hints that a person may be difficult to get along with.”

Carol, “I would be concerned after three times, my personal number. It’s funny that it doesn’t seem to matter how many companions a person has had, but the legal partner? Then it comes down to personal judgment.

“To me at this magical age, I’d be more concerned If I met a man who could put his entire life into a black trash bag, eager to move in with me, that would trigger every red flag bell and whistle. There are people out there ready at a moment’s notice who bring their toothbrush on the first date!

“That’s fine when you are young–first starting out in life–but if you look the exact same at this end as you did in the beginning, learning that you have done nothing with your life, and you live from one social security check to the next, I might enjoy a conversation, but certainly nothing more.”

Claire, “This subject made me think of my 2nd marriage to Larry. My first marriage lasted 22 years. Larry had been married 4 times when I met him.

“After three years together, we married against my better judgement, I was crazy in love with him but I had seen the red flags about his not being a good bet for the ‘long haul.’

“I was his fourth wife, fifth marriage…he married the second wife twice. Larry came into my life at a time when my teenage son was giving me a lot of problems. He stepped up to meet the challenge and my children in turn loved him!

“After 7 years together though, I caught him with another woman and his affair ended things. We had seven beautiful years together and I do not regret them – just the last six months that I knew something was wrong. He passed away in 2017. He was the love of my life!

“So, my theory on this was that Larry was sent to me at the right time of my life for a reason…for a season BUT not forever. It ended badly but I am always grateful for the years he loved both me and my children. I have never loved another man like I loved Larry and probably never will.”

Senior men, be careful dating women in foreign countries

In reviewing the above responses from Champs, I came upon an article on MSN.com, a UPI News article regarding marriage in South Korea. It was titled, “South Korea’s gender imbalance is bad news for men – outnumbering women, many face bleak marriage prospects,” written by Dudley L. Poston Jr., a Professor of Sociology, at Texas A&M University. It sounded like the opposite situation of what single senior 70-plus women face in the USA, a ratio of between four to seven to one single women to single men.

Poston wrote, “South Korea’s bachelor time bomb is about to really go off. Following a historic 30-year-long imbalance in the male-to-female sex ratio at birth, young men far outnumber young women in the country. As a result, some 700,000 to 800,000 ‘extra’ South Korean boys born in the mid-1980s may not be able to find South Korean girls to marry.”

Poston added, “…similar trends are playing out in China, Taiwan, and India.” In our December 15 eNewsletter, Brutus Buckeye, a male Champ we featured, stated that he had little success finding an American woman to date. Brutus concluded his comments with, “And this is a joke, don’t take it seriously, but I may have to go overseas for a nice foreign lady!”

Here’s my comment on Brutus’s last sentence: We have three men Champs, each of whom I know personally, who did what Brutus jokingly stated. They went overseas and married women from foreign countries. All three of the women ended up divorcing those men and made the men’s lives miserable, so you senior single men who might be pondering that strategy, rethink it.

There is a shortage of single women in South Korea, Taiwan, and India. Probably, in other countries as well.

However, there are plenty of fine single, senior women in the USA and Canada, and within our Champs’ group, who would make ideal mates. Why not try a little harder to meet one?

Thanksgiving 2023 – Grateful to Champs

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter

By Columnist Tom Blake

November 23, 2023

Grateful To Champs
For Helping A Troubled Woman Come Out Of The Dark

It’s Thanksgiving Day. One thing I’m thankful for is being able to write this weekly eNewsletter. When an eNewsletter ends up helping a person or people, it makes me even more grateful.

On October 6, I wrote about Trish, 62, divorced 10 years, who has been dealing with deep-seated issues affecting her life that were triggered by that divorce and other things in her life.

For the past three years, she’s been seeing a kind man who helps around her home. She described him as being a bit rough around the edges. They have a platonic friendship. That October 6 eNewsletter was basically a rant from her.

Two things transpired from that eNewsletter. One, a plethora of Champs shared their opinions, many of which I published in the follow-up October 13 issue. Some of the comments were blunt and harsh on her.

And the second thing that happened was Trish agreed to correspond with Debbie Sirkin, psychotherapist, recommended by me, who is one of our Champs. The two women connected by email.

I didn’t hear anything more about Trish’s situation until November 13, when Trish emailed me. She wrote: “I wanted to update you and thank you for your platform (Champs, psychotherapist, and you) to reach out to. The comments from Champs that I read and reread and reread were so helpful to me.

“And Debbie’s response (Debbie Sirkin Psychotherapist) to me was extremely helpful.

“Debbie was correct. I get to change my thoughts, my mind, and my heart. So, I did. I looked at this man and realized how incredibly blessed I was to have him.”

“It was like jumping off a terrifying ledge into a pit. Let me tell you about the landing. It is loving, it is comforting, and it is life-confirming. The cloud of darkness, being uncomfortable and in a state of fear is gone. My eyes were opened by you and your wonderful followers. I was so stuck, like a rat on a glue board. And my man is so overcome with joy.

“Through conversation with him, and lots of it along with prayer, we made a commitment to each other. The end of the story is: we are engaged.” (adversity leads to opportunity)

What an incredible story to share with you Champs on Thanksgiving Day. Trish’s emergence into a happier life reminds me of the song by Gloria Estefan, Coming Out Of The Dark, which focused on her recovery from a broken back after her tour bus collided with a tractor-trailer truck in Pennsylvania. A full recovery was doubtful but through Gloria’s tenacity and zest for life, less than a year later, she was singing again. (click on the link below to Gloria’s song). I know each Champ is grateful for a multitude of things. Not to bore you, but here’s my shortlist.

Tom Blake Grateful Short List

I’m grateful for

-You Champs
-My sisters, Pam and Christine, and Pam’s husband Bob
-My brother Bill (who passed away two years ago)
-My two nephews, Derek and Rod
-Having had Greta as my partner for 25 years
-Good health
-Russell Kerr, my paddle-boarding buddy
-Alex the Sports Barber who has cut my hair for 37 years
-Debbie S, an understanding and caring new friend
-My fantasy football friends of 40+ years
-Other friends like Charlie Canfield and Bob Rossi-Pals Jim Fallon and Mike Stipher and Joanie, and others such as Vince, Julie and Dee, and Don and Carole Cheley in Denver, who helped me through this year of grief
-Music, and my friendship with Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash
-Friends made at the restaurant chain Victoria Station
-Living in Dana Point
-Loving and caring neighbors Alex and Colleen, and Jake and Kresta
-170 employees of Tutor & Spunky’s Deli, including Teresa, Rosa, Deb, and Sandy, each still working there, for up to 37 years
-Adelina and Regina, friends for years

Here’s the link to Gloria Estefan’s Coming Out Of The Dark song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QS7qLDizDYo

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Tenting a house for termites

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter

Columnist Tom Blake

November 3, 2023

I considered skipping the newsletter this week. Why? So darn busy.

I won’t bore you with too many details but thought I’d fill you in instead of writing nothing. I’ll likely lose a few subscribers this week because I’m not writing directly about senior dating.

Why so busy? First, I’m having my Dana Point California home tented for termites, a condition most California homeowners have to deal with about every 10 years or so. I’ve owned the home for 33 years and have never had it tented.

However, lately, I’ve seen evidence of termites munching on my interior wood such as wings and sawdust on the floor. When tenting, all food, medicines, and supplements must be double bagged and taped, including food in pantries and refrigerators. It took me 12 hours to get that done.

The home must be vacated for three days until the tent is removed (see picture below with the tent enclosing the house). A Champ named Debbie requested I send her a picture of the tented house. I did; she responded.

“Beautiful colors!!! Anyone coming to see you will know which house is yours without the address!”

I responded, “And police helicopters will be able to pinpoint it.”

Debbie, “That’s definitely a plus.”

Palm Springs

So, Monday morning, I drove 2 ½ hours to my Palm Springs vacation home. Upon arrival, I discovered that a leak from the main water line to the house had not been repaired.

I had been previously informed that it had been fixed. Hence, the water was turned off. Without water, no dishes can be washed, no toilets can be flushed, and no plants can be watered. Hence, I had to bird dog that situation, which took three hours, and then almost a half day on Tuesday.

Finally, the leak was repaired. There were other home-improvement projects in Palm Springs as well. Busy, busy, busy. Okay, enough about what kept me from enjoying the swimming pool.

Thank you

Thanks to Champs and friends who sent condolences, thoughts, and prayers about the first anniversary (October 29) of the passing of my partner Greta Cohn.

Don Wert, Greta’s son-in-law, emailed: “Sad week for all of us. Thinking of you. I am with my friend Doug on his boat heading from San Diego to Cabo San Lucas. We plan to get there on Sunday.”

Hearing from Don was very special to me, which I won’t explain. Plus, I don’t think I’ve ever received a text from a small boat heading to Cabo.

I replied: “Thank you, Don. I’m in Palm Springs dealing with maintenance issues at my vacation home here. Back to Dana Point on Wednesday–after the termite tent is removed–to put the house back together.

Pat emailed: “This note is to acknowledge your first year without Greta. A lot of firsts for those of us who have lost people we love. It does get easier but there will always be that part of us that still hurts.

“I can say from experience that we can find joy and love again if we are open to it. And I believe you are. Somewhere a lovely woman is waiting to meet someone like you. She won’t replace Greta but will be someone that will help you heal and your heart will open and you’ll feel full once again.

“Losing my daughter earlier this year has been one of the most difficult times of my life. But I have a wonderful support system and I went to therapy which was an enormous help and continue to do the things I love.

“What would have been my daughter’s 54th birthday is coming up on Nov. 4 and I’m not sure how I will deal with it; It’s been an unknown path for me. But with Len by my side, I’ll get through it. We do have plans for that day that were made many months ago and we’re going to keep them. I think when we grieve, we must do what works best for us and everyone is different.

“Take care and remember that you were loved by a wonderful, kind, and caring woman and she will always be in your heart. She would want you to be happy as you would her if the situation was reversed.”

Note from Tom: Patricia and Len are the couple in Chapter 21 of my book, “How 50 Couples Found Love After 50.”

Champ Bruce Maag, Delphos, Ohio, the owner of Coins/Currency/and Collectibles (Northwest Ohio’s Largest Coin Shop), forwarded an email with a photo titled “Snow at Burt Lake last night).” Wow, early winter.

Thanks to Bruce for reminding us that winter is just around the corner. Perhaps, Bruce, your Buckeyes will be playing football against arch-rival Michigan in the snow.

And lastly, a woman named Erika surprised me by ordering two books. Why the surprise? I don’t sell many of those two books because they were published in 1997 and 2003 respectively.

Erika commented, “The books are a gift for my 59-year-old son who is looking for a ‘girlfriend’ and lives in the High Desert in Joshua Tree (California desert). I will be visiting him in late November.”

Tom’s comment: “Oh wow, a whole new market for senior dating books. Now being sought after by the next generation, descendants of our Champs.”

Thanks, everybody, for tolerating me being a bit silly today. Bless you all

Tom’s House Tented

A Widower For One Year

Greta Cohn – My life partner for 25 years

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter
October 27, 2023
A Widower For One Year
By Columnist Tom Blake

A Widower For One Year

This week’s eNewsletter was inspired by an email from Champ Gloria. I have written twice about Gloria, who lives in Florida. The first time was 11 years ago about her meeting Peter in 2012. I nicknamed him The Italian Stallion. The second time I wrote about her was on April 28, 2023. The news was sad; Peter had passed away on January 12.

Gloria and I have never met in person, but we’ve become email pen pals, sharing each other’s feelings of sadness, grief, and glimmers of hope during the first year after losing our mates. Gloria emailed, “Is October the anniversary month of your partner Greta’s passing?

“Things are the same here in Florida. I don’t want to be on a dating site now, maybe again next year but currently I am done with the 78-year-old men who are looking for women in their early 60s.

“I am okay; it’s been nine months since Peter died, and I still attend the grief support group and make friends there. We go out to lunch now and then, which pleases me.

“Occasionally, I go to happy hour with a girlfriend, but I notice more women than men at the bar. I network by asking friends if they know someone but no one does. It might change but for now, there is no one.

“I realize that it’s a lot more difficult to meet someone at age 70 than it was 13 years ago.

“I miss him but cry less often and feel grateful for what life offers me now. I still want a partner, so I will not give up hope.”

I replied to Gloria, “Yes, Greta passed away last year on October 29. It’s hard to believe it’s been a year. In retrospect, it seems the year went by quickly, but I also recall the endless hours and days when time crawled, and my heart was heavy missing her. Technically, I’m not a widower as we weren’t married. But being together for 25 years qualifies me as the equal to a widower.

“Gloria, you are at the nine-month mark after losing Peter. Grief support has helped you and helped me as well. For me, it’s mostly because of the friendships with five women and one man formed via the grief share gatherings and the activities the seven of us occasionally do together.

“We are not the only Champs who suffered a loss last year. Many others have shared similar feelings of sadness and grief with me. So, this is not just about you and me, it’s about all of us.

“As I am emailing you, I am looking at five notes I scribbled by hand that are taped to my desktop computer (see photo below). They somewhat reflect the different stages I went through during the first few months after Greta’s passing.

They are: 1.STUG – an acronym for “Sudden Temporary Uptake of Grief” (unpredictable when they occur but felt often in the first few months, less now but still inevitable)

2. Don’t Overthink It. (Reminding myself to stop thinking about why I lost Greta and what more I could have done to help her)

3. Let It Be. (Reminding myself that when adversity arises now, I have no control over it so don’t sweat it)

4. It Doesn’t Matter. (Felt after people insist that I should have waited a year before dating. At my age, I don’t have time to wait)

5. Are You Ok? (My 3-word response to disarm people speaking negatively about how I’m proceeding with life). “So, Gloria, how will I spend October 29, the one-year anniversary of Greta’s passing? I will likely go to Salt Creek Beach and look out over the Pacific Ocean toward Catalina Island, where Greta’s ashes were scattered, and reflect on how blessed I was to have had her in my life for 25 years.

“And how blessed I am now to have friends and two sisters who care about me. “Or I might go Standup Paddle Boarding in Dana Point Harbor to enjoy the Pelicans and Sea Lions so prevalent there. Doing that gives me an appreciation of nature and beauty. “You take care, Gloria. As one of my singing idols, Bob Seger, croons, You’ll be fine in your time.”

“I will be fine also.”

Tom’s somewhat messy desktop with five hand-scribbled notes taped to the computer.

A Troubled Senior Woman

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter
October 6, 2023
A Troubled Senior Woman Seeks Answers
She is conflicted over senior dating
By Columnist Tom Blake

In last week’s eNewsletter, I asked Champs to email me their stories, questions, and observations. One woman, Trish, wanted to share her story. Her story was so captivating, it’s today’s article. It’s three of her emails spliced together. It’s lengthy and complex.

As I read what Trish wrote, I realized her story was far beyond my reach as a relationship columnist. She has deep-seated issues that need attention. I asked Trish for her permission to share her information confidentially with a therapist friend of mine. Trish agreed. You will see in Trish’s email below why I felt this way.

Trish wrote, “I’ve been reading your newsletter for years. I’ve been divorced for 10 years and was in a serious relationship that ended four years ago.

“I am now seeing a man who has pursued me for three years. We dated for almost a year, and I ended it, but he’s back after patiently waiting for me. We ran into each other a few months ago and have seen each other every day since; he adores me.

Tom’s comment: (I added the italics and boldface to the two sentences below for clarity and emphasis.) “My concern is that I’m not capable of that kind of feeling. I’m happy to be with him for the most part, I just can’t envision a whole life with him as he does. We are both fit and healthy.

“He has an incredible and beautiful faith in God and has put my own spiritual journey on a path that is so different and amazing.

“He’s felt from day one when we met that God put me on his path to love and care for me. He waited patiently before asking me out on his boat for an afternoon. Then again, and again.

“His faith allows him to overlook the differences in our feelings towards each other because he feels very strongly that God ‘gave’ me to him for him to care for me.

“Is it wrong to continue in a relationship where there is an imbalance of feelings? I’m afraid of hurting him, I’m 62, he’s 69. He is extremely generous with money and talent. He works on my home, my real true love (lol). I don’t have much to give in return. He is just happy to be with me. There is no physical contact, it isn’t an issue for either of us, so it’s more like best buddies.

“I’m a ‘rough-around-the-edges’ New Yorker. He’s a small-town Southern roughneck. He’s fun, quirky, and a bit of a character. We know the same people and most of them love it that we are back together. He sees marriage, I have no vision.

“I don’t think I can love again, but I most certainly care for him. I have zero interest in a physical relationship, I don’t have so much of myself to give. He has never made a move. We have a great time together; I just don’t really bring much to the table.

“I own my home and have been told I’m ‘sexy.’ I hate that and look 10 years younger. I have a great job that I love (in mental health). He lives on a houseboat, has a pontoon boat, and drives nice vehicles. He’s not unattractive; he’s been on his own for 13 years.

“We hadn’t seen each other for a year, he walked into a local pub where I was playing pool and it was amazing to see him and reacquaint. We have seen each other just about every day since.

“I was hurt 10 years ago to a level for which I can’t find words. I’ve risen above it financially and spiritually and found my peace with me alone, not lonely.

“I live in the South and find myself in another world, Tony world, that I mostly embrace. He’s a true ‘redneck’ with a Southern Drawl. I’m 62, he’s 69.

“He’s proposed a few times, more of a business transaction, as he thinks he will live past 100, but wants to make sure I am taken care of. I have no desire to find another man, I’ve got tons of opportunities, including ex-boyfriends from as far back as high school. Pisses me off that I wasn’t good enough then but now I am? Disgusting.

“As far as settling? I have a life, two amazing sons, that I raised on my own since they were 13 and 14. They have both launched successfully. I love my home albeit it needs some attention. He is always doing something around here for me.

“I have a career, a few bucks in the bank, not much, but I pay my bills. A small circle of friends, I’ll never trust or really fit in here. The people are basically all kind. I took up pool, lol, and am getting pretty good at it too! There is no real culture here. I don’t drive at night. A medium-sized city is 30 minutes away.

“I try to travel once a month, as my job is remote. Sometimes friends visit. He has a hard time ‘fitting in’ with people he hasn’t known his whole life, but he tries.

“I am happy for the most part. I struggle with thinking about the long term. This is not the life I imagined for myself. I am stuck in yearning for the days of an intact family, the holidays, and, the other parent helping me parent.

“I am a very angry woman at the deal that I got dealt. I have come a long way personally, but being in a relationship does trip some of my triggers. I don’t know how to be a ‘girlfriend.’ He has proposed to me three times, I just don’t see it, I can’t imagine what that would even look like.

“I remember your eNewsletter about being married and living apart. That I could probably handle, but why get married? I know he would love the whole commitment thing, but we both know how easily that can disappear.

“But, the original question was is it wrong to stay in a relationship where I can’t drum up feelings for him, or probably anybody? I care for him, I enjoy the times we have together and have learned how to adapt when I start to get triggered by the negative thoughts that invade from time to time. The first time we were together it was constant, this second time they were just whispers and not screams. Maybe that’s progress? Maybe my standards have lowered?

“He expresses constant adorations, affirmations, and just pure joy about ‘us.’ He prays over us every night before he leaves my house and thanks God for me. He has taken my spiritual journey to a whole higher level and that is what I adore about him.

“Here is what I don’t adore about him. He has no ‘class.’ I know that’s mean, but I could have dinner at the White House with a few hours’ notice.

“He, not so much. The intellect and the culture are just not there, even if he exudes confidence, it’s at a much smaller level.

“Is this what compromise is supposed to be? Is this enough? The idea of finding or being found by another man is not something I want to do. I honestly just don’t think I have the energy for it. The online dating thing was just pure entertainment for me, so silly.

“Also, the idea of having to be physical is a ‘hard no’ for me. He obviously is not interested either.

“In this little town where I live, residents think a great steak dinner is at LongHorn Steakhouse, and other than KFC, there aren’t many places to go. So, meeting someone here would be very challenging as well. The other thing I struggle with is my two boys seeing their mom dating. They like him; they see how good he is to me and appreciate that.

“This email I wrote to you has been very therapeutic. I appreciate the opportunity to get this all out.

Tom’s response to Trish. “You said you were surprised I invested so much time into responding to you. That’s true, I have never answered anyone to that extent before. But, I could feel your pain and frustration. Please be proud of yourself for what you’ve accomplished on your own.

“It’s good that you live near your son and you two are close. I’m certain both of your boys (men now) appreciate all you’ve done for them.

“My quick initial take on your question is. As long as you and your rough-neck friend discuss the situation beforehand, and he knows there is no marriage in the future, and you have laid all the cards on the table, and he understands the torture you’ve been through, let it be.

“My psychotherapist friend Debbie will respond to you privately.”

“As often happens, your story and your energy remind me of the words from the Bob Seger song, “In Your Time.” Search for it on Google and listen to the words. This song could become your mantra.”

The Man In Black

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter
September 22, 2023
By Columnist Tom Blake

**Jim, Debbie, Shawn (aka Johnny Cash), and Tom**

There are two parts to this week’s eNewsletter
Part 1 – The Man in Black at the Coach House in San Juan Capistrano, Ca

In 1980, I saw Johnny Cash perform live at the Coach House, which at that time was a new musical venue in San Juan Capistrano, California. His touring bus was parked alongside the building. I got to spend some time with him and June Carter on the bus that night before the show. Why? Because I knew Johnny and June well.

I worked with them from 1975-1977 when I was the marketing director for the Victoria Station restaurant chain. I hired Johnny to sing our radio commercials and to be our company spokesperson because of his love for trains. Our restaurants were built out of box cars and cabooses. (see link to website below).

My friend, Jim Fallon, 74, is a widower of one year after 47 years of marriage. We met at a grief share meeting and became buddies, sharing our grief and dating experiences.

Jim was aware of my friendship with Johnny Cash and asked if I’d like to see a tribute band called The Man In Black in concert at the Coach House a week ago Thursday night. I said yes. Jim, my friend Debbie Sirkin, and I enjoyed the show and much more. Let me explain the “much more” comment.

I wanted to meet Shawn Barker, who is Johnny Cash in The Man In Black Tribute Band, and spend time with him before the concert. I checked the Villam Rocks.com website, which manages Shawn, and reached out to their promotion manager, Joey Waterman. I explained who I was and told Joey about my association with Johnny. He very enthusiastically arranged for the pre-concert meeting with Shawn.

Not only did Debbie, Jim, and I get to meet privately with Shawn, but we also got to meet his four band members. The keyboard player, Thomas, is from Copenhagen, Denmark. The bassist player, Shayne, is from Albany, New York. Charlie the drummer is from Nashville, and the bass player Dean is from Australia. What a cool bunch of guys.

In 2006, I wrote and published a book titled, “Prime Rib & Boxcars. Whatever Happened To Victoria Station?” (see picture of book cover below). Three chapters in the book are devoted to my association and friendship with the Cash family.

I thought the five band members would enjoy learning what incredible people Johnny and June Carter Cash were from my perspective. Hence, I autographed and presented a book to Shawn and each of the four band members. They were happy with the gift.

(If you’d like an autographed copy of the book, email me and I will sign one and ship it for $16.98, which includes the book, shipping, taxes, handling, and standing in line at the post office to ship it (within the USA). If you purchase the book on Amazon.com, it would cost you $40.00+ and it won’t be autographed.)

The Coach House is located about 100 yards from the historical Mission San Juan Capistrano. Gary Folgner, the Coach House founder and still owner, opened the venue in 1980.

On last week’s visit there, I said hello to another old friend, Johnny the bartender, who has worked at the Coach House for 38 years.

The Tribute band led by Shawn was awesome. They played Orange Blossom Special, A Boy Named Sue, One Piece at a Time, Hey Porter, Get Rhythm, Folsom Prison Blues, Cry Cry Cry, Big River, Ghost Riders in The Sky, and, of course, the two biggies that Johnny Cash is known for, Ring of Fire, and I Walk The Line.

I was honored when Shawn introduced me to the audience as probably the only person there who had known Johnny. That was an honor. Several people from the audience introduced themselves after the show.

Also, the band’s version of Will The Circle Be Unbroken had people on their feet like they were at a revival meeting.

I had goosebumps most of the night. Johnny had taken me into San Quentin Prison for a concert in 1977 so when Shawn sang Folsom Prison Blues, I could really relate to the atmosphere inside the walls of Folsom.

Jim said, “The energy, talent, and personality of Shawn, aka The Man in Black, was breathtaking. He had the audience involved during the entire show. If you ever get a chance to see this The Man in Black Tribute band, do it.

“And keep an eye on upcoming performances at the Coach House. You’ll love the vibe there. Our food server Hollie is the best—so busy, so friendly, and smart. We in Orange County are truly blessed to have such a wonderful music venue in San Juan Capistrano. And, it’s usually packed with people aged 50 to 75. ”

Debbie said, “I felt like Johnny Cash was in the room, both in voice and charisma. The entire audience appeared to be as mesmerized as we were. I was so proud to have been with Tom, the only person in the room who actually knew Johnny.”

I know that my friends Johnny and June Cash were smiling from above that night, and I gave them a thumbs up from the Coach House, the venue where I had been with them in person, almost 45 years before.

After the show, near the exit door of the Coach House, Jim, Debbie, and I said goodbye to Shawn and complimented him on a memorable performance. Each of us felt a warm glow as we drove to our homes.

If you would like to hear Johnny Cash sing the Victoria Station 30-second radio commercials he recorded, go to the website www.vicsta.com. On the home page, near the top, you will see a white square with >> an arrow pointing to the right. click on it and you will hear Johnny sing 3 commercials.

Part 2 – Tom on a podcast
I was interviewed by Bela Gandhi, the founder of The Smart Dating Academy, on a podcast last week, which aired this past Monday. This is an audio and video podcast, so I’m seen for about an hour (wish I had smiled more and I hope I don’t put you to sleep). The link to the podcast is below.
https://youtube/TVQKfjQUxWs

The book Tom autographed to The Man In Black tribute band members

Jim, Debbie, Shawn (aka Johnny Cash), and Tom

I Don’t Want To Hurt You But…

On Love and Life After 50 eNewsletter

September 8, 2023

By Columnist Tom Blake

I don’t want to hurt you but…

The double-whammy of senior dating

An email from a woman Champ this week inspired today’s topic. She’s 70, and her partner of 11 years passed away months ago, which devastated her. She’s trying to dip her toes into the senior dating waters. One thing she’s done is to go online.

She wrote, “For weeks and weeks, a man who lived an hour away and I texted and had long and fun conversations. Finally, we met in person. It felt like we knew each other. There he was, a nice tall man waiting for me at the table; we sat there for three and a half hours, laughing talking, and sharing.

Tom’s comment: Weeks and weeks were too long to wait. When single seniors have an interest in each other, they should try to meet in person as soon as possible. In that way, if there is no connection, little time has been wasted. People sometimes fall in love with an image, someone they have never seen face-to-face, and that usually doesn’t go well. You must see someone in person to judge the chemistry.

She continued talking about the first date, “He wanted to see me again and kissed me several times before I got in my car. Once home, I got a text saying what a great time he had, and couldn’t wait to see me again. Then nothing, no text, no email, no phone call, ever again. I checked the obituaries to ensure he hadn’t passed away.”

She had been ghosted by him. She was still hurting from losing her mate and meeting him had provided a little hope, which had built up over the weeks. She was vulnerable and his disappearance hurt. Not a huge hurt as it was only one date, but that rejection added to the big hurt.

She had suffered what I call “the double-whammy of senior dating,” which is when you are still grieving a big loss and then you incur another loss on top of the big loss.

Another Champ, a widower, shared his story. He said, “Seven months after my wife passed, I was trying to combat senior loneliness, so I tried online dating and met several women. No one clicked. Either they weren’t attracted to me, or I wasn’t attracted to them, or they lived too far away. Plus, ages were misrepresented (claiming they were younger than they were) and photos were deceptive and not properly dated.

Then, one Saturday night, a nice woman online reached out to me. We had an instant strong mutual attraction. She lived within five miles of me.

“She still worked and had children somewhat nearby, so her availability was limited, but we made the most of our time together. I was slowly growing fond of her, and she also of me, but to a lesser degree, which she reminded me of at times.

“We had amazing chemistry. I cared a lot. Sometimes we’d take a break from each other, but we always reunited a short time later. We didn’t have an exclusive agreement but neither one was dating anyone seriously. At least that was my impression and I assumed neither one of us was sleeping with anyone else–at least I wasn’t.

“She started finding fault in me and told me she didn’t want to be tied down to one person. Something had changed in her feelings toward me. She reminded me that we were both free to date others, which was a small dart in the heart, but we continued to see each other a couple of times a week.

“Then, recently she said, “I don’t want to hurt you but…” She was going away for a few days. And it was not to be with her kids and grandkids. She went to the same far-away city twice with no explanation to me. I surmised that perhaps she was sleeping with another man she had met online, although that was never verified. After she returned the second time, I questioned her and she said she didn’t.

“On top of the passing of my wife, I had lost her as well. That really hurt. Two losses in less than a year.

“Her version of what happened in the relationship would definitely be different. There are always two sides to a story. But I think I’m a pretty good dude so I must roll with the flow and try to find someone whose life I can enhance and who loves me as well.

Tom’s comment: This man’s story is another example of the double-whammy of senior dating. Losing someone you care about while still missing your spouse or life partner. As the two stories above reveal, it can happen to both men and women.

My advice to the woman who got ghosted is to pick yourself up and keep trying. Don’t give up.

My advice to the man is to continue putting yourself out there. You know you will meet other nice women. But, keep in touch with her because you and she have such a strong connection, that she may rethink her position. She might come to her senses and realize she might lose you and maybe you will be back together trying to work it out.

The man’s story reminds me of the Neil Diamond song “Solitary Man.” See the link below. There are actually two links included in today’s eNewsletter.

True, there can be other losses that are difficult to deal with while grieving the big loss of an ex-spouse or partner. The loss of a dog or other loved animal can be a subset of the double-whammy of senior dating. How much pain can people tolerate?

There may be some Champs who feel that both of the above people decided to date too soon after the loss of a loved one. That’s not the issue here. Everybody heals differently. And as Elvis once said, “Don’t judge me if you haven’t walked in my shoes.”

The Bottom Line

When meeting a new potential mate, through an introduction by a friend, or while walking your dog, or, even online, proceed with caution and don’t wear blinders. Realize that you are still going to miss your previous mate, so, you’re already vulnerable.

But let’s say something clicks with a new person and you slowly find yourself caring for him or her. You wonder, “Can this really be happening to me?” Be sure there is honesty and trust established.

Chemistry might lead to intimacy. Enjoy and relish that. But watch out and listen for red flags. If the person constantly refers to an ex-lover, or starts finding fault with you, take that as a warning sign. You don’t want to get unexpectedly bopped by the double-whammy of senior dating.

Links to two appropriate songs

While writing today’s eNewsletter, I thought about two songs. Both are linked below.

Neil Diamond’s “Solitary Man.” I love the trumpet player and the other guys on the horns.

Here’s the link. By the way, this recording of the song was recorded at Hot August Night III at the Greek Theatre in Los Angeles. Greta and I were there.

Link to Neil Diamond

https://www.bing.com/videos/riverview/relatedvideo?&q=solitary+man+by+neil+diamond&&mid=F20E9AED677C369D1046F20E9AED677C369D1046&&FORM=VRDGAR

Neil Diamond “Solitary Man”

And I also thought about the song by Rod Stewart and Amy Belle, “I Don’t Want To Talk About It,” (how you broke my heart). It’s a classic whammy love song. The link is below.

The song is accompanied by the Royal Philharmonic orchestra. Watch particularly for Ms. Bell’s captivating smile and the incredible woman Saxophone player! And finally, how the audience nearly takes over the song near the end. Rod and Amy love that as well.

Link to Rod Stewart and Amy Belle

https://www.bing.com/videos/riverview/relatedvideo?q=rod+stewart+and+amy+belle&mid=5D232BAAC961D04CE3FA5D232BAAC961D04CE3FA

Rod Stewart and Amy Belle