A tribute to New Zealand and those loved ones we’ve lost in 2019

 On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter – December 20, 2019

By Columnist Tom Blake

           A tribute to New Zealand and those loved ones we’ve lost in 2019

My 2019 Holidays eNewsletter is a tribute to people who were important to Champs, who passed away this year. Two world events in the last week triggered this thought. Both are coincidentally related to New Zealand.

Why this unusual topic? The idea came to me this week while Stand-Up Paddle Boarding in Dana Point Harbor. I was paddling with my usual paddling buddy, Russell Kerr, a native of New Zealand. Russell and his wife, Pam, have dual New Zealand/USA citizenship. He and I talk about events of the world whenever we are on the water together.

The first event Russell reflected upon was the White Island volcano eruption off the coast of New Zealand on December 9, in which 18 people perished.

I couldn’t help but think of the friends and relatives of those who died that have been affected by this tragic event.

And the second world event that Russell and I discussed occurred on December 12, with the passing away of Peter Snell, New Zealand’s greatest athlete ever, a middle-distance runner, who would have been 81 on December 17.

Why did Snell’s passing affect me?

In the summer of 1960, I traveled in Europe with four friends. We spent several days at the Rome 1960 summer Olympic games. On Friday, September 2, 1960, we watched in Olympic Stadium Peter Snell win the 800 meters run in track. It was the first time in 24 years a New Zealand runner had won an Olympic track and field gold medal.

I was a college cross country runner at the time and admired the grit Snell had shown in that race. Snell broke five world track records in his career. In the 1964 Olympics, he won both the 800 meters and the 1500 events.

Fast forward to 2011, when my partner Greta and I were on a cruise around New Zealand’s North and South Islands. One of the ports where the ship docked was Wellington, located at the southern tip of the North Island.

On our way back to the ship after a fun sightseeing day, we popped into a shop called the Olympic Games Museum. I was curious to see if Peter Snell was featured there. Did anyone in New Zealand even remember Peter Snell?

Inside, there was a pair of worn-out track shoes on a podium under glass. I asked a man working there if they were Peter Snell’s shoes. (They weren’t).

The man judged from my accent that I was from the United States. “Why is an American interested in Peter Snell?” he asked. I told him about being in Rome and seeing Snell win the gold. I mentioned I had admired Snell ever since.

The man’s name was Terry Daly, the Commercial and Marketing Director for the New Zealand Olympic Committee. He gave me an official New Zealand Olympic team lapel pin and told me he wanted to give me something else, but it was in his office in Auckland. I told him our ship would be there in two days. He gave me his card and asked me to come by.

After sightseeing in Auckland, Greta reminded me that we needed to go to Terry Daly’s office.

Terry gave us an Olympic team jersey autographed by the great Peter Snell. I was incredibly moved and honored.

Snell’s jersey hung on the sports wall of fame at Tutor and Spunky’s Deli, my Dana Point deli, from 2011 until I sold the deli, in 2015. Since then, it’s been on the wall in our garage.

When Peter Snell passed away this week, I went to my garage and took down the framed jersey to photograph it. I felt a heart-string tug.

                     Authentic autographed Peter Snell track jersey 

I took several minutes to ponder Peter Snell’s life, and how humble he was, and my life, and how fortunate I was to have seen him run, although I never met him. But my brother Bill did. Snell became a dentist in Dallas, where my brother lives. Their paths crossed one time. Snell passed away in Dallas.

So, to Peter Snell, and the people lost in that tragic White Island volcano, and my Dana Point deli customer, Vern McGarry, and my high school buddy Champ Carm, whose sweetheart Karen Jenkins passed away this year, and all the others, who have passed this year, or in all years, in fact, thank you for being in my life and/or the lives of our Champs.

Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. May 2020 be a good year for all of us.

Older women dating older men

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter – Older women dating younger men is a hot-potato topic

by columnist  Tom Blake

Champ Jackie “from Georgia” has paid her relationship dues. She was divorced after 42 years of marriage. Five years later, she attended her 50th high school reunion in Michigan.

At the reunion, she met her classmate Randy and married him a year later. Just two months after they married, Randy was diagnosed with cancer. For the next five months, until he passed, Jackie was Randy’s caregiver. I met this very delightful woman and her sister at a Dana Point, California, Meet and Greet in May, 2019.

Responding to last week’s eNewsletter, she wrote: “My question: ‘Does age matter when it comes to women being older than men? After my dedication to Randy, I don’t think I could willingly do it again. At my ‘young age’ of 72, I’d want someone younger”

I will tackle Jackie’s question, with this disclaimer: It’s a hot-potato topic because there are so many different points of view on older women dating younger men.

In the past, when I have written on this older dating younger subject, I’ve been dragged over the coals by young women, older men, older women, bitter men, bitter women, religious zealots, breadcrumbed victims, and people who enjoy, even relish, controversy.

Inevitably, no discussion about older women dating younger men would be complete without mentioning the dating term “cougar,” a label or term of which the origin is unclear. It’s thought possibly to have come from a Canadian dating website.

I don’t particularly like the term, but then, I don’t like a lot of the terms that have labeled senior dating. Heck, we seniors are just trying to muddle through and enjoy life the best we can; why do we need so many labels to describe us? I guess the term “cougar” is okay, but I find it to be a bit demeaning.

If older women want to date younger men, what the heck is wrong with that? Let’s just label them normal instead.

The epitome of cougarhood (another new term) was Mrs. Robinson, in the Dustin Hoffman movie, “The Graduate.” Of course, she was a married woman, which made the relationship uncool.

Okay, with “cougar” out of the way, let’s continue.

Jackie is not the only widow who feels she doesn’t want to experience widowhood again.

About three years ago, I fixed up (remember, I’m not a matchmaker) a widow, age 60, with a friend who I guessed was about 70. They were both ocean-orientated buffs, so I thought it was a good similar-interests match. She an outrigger paddler, he a boat skipper.

I saw them enjoying a beverage together shortly thereafter at a gin mill. At that time, I thought to myself, “bingo,” a good introduction.

Nope, she told me a couple of days later that she found out he was 75–not 70–and she didn’t want to take the chance of becoming a widow again. So, it’s not just Jackie who is avoiding dating men her age and older, hoping to avoid being “Widowed” again.

Even if older women do date younger men, that doesn’t mean they won’t be widowed. In all relationships that go the distance in life, one of the partners is likely to die first, unless something happens when they are both together and they pass simultaneously.

I accessed the archives of articles I’ve written about older women dating younger men on my Finding Love After 50.com website. Here are a few of the important points from past eNewsletters:

I wrote, “A surprising trend surfaced. Several women said they are attracting considerably younger men.”

Ann responded to that, “I’m 72, and for some unknown reason, I attract younger men. I’m asked out on dates and have received two flower arrangements from younger men in the past two weeks. I try not to be involved at my age because of the great chance of making a mess of my life.”

Ann also said the reason she doesn’t date men older than she: “If I were to date my age, 72-82, I’d be taking my life into my own hands every time they drive. Some of them can’t drive at night but they have two-three drinks. Sorry, I like my life but don’t want to end up dead or in a wheelchair.”

In another older women dating younger men article, Brenda said, “I recently dated a guy eight-years-younger. He treated me better than any man ever has. I’m not sure what happened but it ended suddenly after just six months of seeing each other.

Note from Tom: This is one of the things that can happen when older people date younger people. The younger one fades away. Maybe even does ghosting. So, that’s another consequence that one should be aware of before dating someone younger.

What is a significant age difference?

A key question: what is a significant age difference? Five years, 10, 15, 20, 25+, who’s to say? If a woman is dating a man 25-years younger, chances are, he’s going to become a widower, so he needs to accept that possibility.

If there is a significant age difference, each partner would be wise to understand his or her own motivations for being in the relationship, and the partner’s motivations.

Understanding those motivations, what the heck is wrong with being in a significant age-difference relationship?

Be aware, there will be challenges. If there are children on either side, that may muddy the water. And there could be negative stigmas from the general public. Imagine someone saying, when she sees you in a restaurant, “Hi Ellen, I didn’t know you had a grandson.”

Bottom line: Everybody’s different. There’s no right or wrong. Enjoy your life while you can. It’s nobody else’s business except the two people involved. So, go for it, Jackie.

Link to Simon and Garfunkel’s “Mrs. Robinson.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9C1BCAgu2I8 

Divorced man’s view on dating after 60

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter – November 29, 2019

Divorced man’s view on dating at after 60

by columnist Tom Blake

Note from Tom: I hope you all had a pleasant Thanksgiving. I was thinking of taking a break this week from writing an eNewsletter and then I thought, why? Especially, when I have a nice story about a man who just became a Champ (an eNewsletter subscriber) and how he views the dating scene.

Women often state they seldom read about single guys and their dating dramas, so I decided to share one with you on the day after Thanksgiving.

                              A divorced man’s view on dating at 62

As a senior dating columnist, my job is never boring.

Danny, a new Tom Blake’s Champ (eNewsletter subscriber), emailed, “I enjoy reading your column in the Dana Point Times. Online dating, while better than walking into a bar cold, is frustrating indeed. I’m sure many women feel the same way.

“I’m 62, divorced five years, with three grown sons. I’m active, healthy, gainfully employed and live locally. I’ve tried Match.com, Our Time, Plenty of Fish; they are all the same.

“Having been online for a while, I am picky and not willing to settle. If it feels right, I’m in. If it doesn’t, I’m like, “Check please!”

“A lot of one-and-done meet ups. Met one woman that seemingly had high potential. After several months, it fizzled out.

“I want to attend your monthly Meet and Greets in Dana Point. Sounds like you need more men, so the odds sound good! When is the next one?

(Thursday, December 12, 5 to 7 p.m. Tutor and Spunky’s Deli, 34085 Pacific Coast Highway, no admission cost, free appetizers, beer and wine $5)

“Attached is my online dating profile summary, and a recent picture.”


 Champ Danny
I viewed Danny’s picture and profile. I selected a few items from his profile to illustrate what this senior single man says he has to offer and what he hopes for in a relationship.

He wrote, “I’m seeking a long-term relationship with a special woman. I’m a romantic optimist and believe in love and passion and treating a woman with respect and kindness–while being a chivalrous gentleman. Believe in going slow and let the relationship develop on its own.

“If the chemistry is there, great things will happen naturally, and it will be wonderful! I subscribe to honesty, trust, good character, faithfulness, and sincerity.

“I enjoy a healthy dose of Irish humor. Like to laugh and have fun. Not into drama and endless dating with no future.

“Enjoy cooking and a nice glass of wine. I’m emotionally available and ready to build a meaningful relationship.”

I responded to Danny, “Your profile is impressive. Being a gentleman and emotionally available are so important.

“A handsome man your age shouldn’t have to rely on Internet dating to meet someone. There are hundreds of single, available, desirable age 60-plus women in south Orange County.

“At our November Meet and Greet, widowers, widows and divorced men and women attended. One lovely woman from San Clemente was asked by two different men if they could walk her to her car. She handled the two offers graciously.

“May I write about you in the Dana Point Times, San Clemente Times and The Capistrano Dispatch?”

Danny responded: “BREAKING NEWS: The ex-girlfriend I met on Match.com just texted me and wants to meet. I’m not sure what her intentions are, or where meeting her might go. If things were to take off with her again, the last thing I need is my dating profile in the three newspapers you write for.

I responded, “OK, we’ll wait.” And then immediately I sent him a copy of the “breadcrumbed” eNewsletter from two weeks ago. And then I sent the follow up article with the 20 comments from Champs about the breadcrumbed article.

Two days later, Danny wrote: “I picked her up at the airport last night. We had dinner talking about mostly meaningless stuff. She isn’t sure she even wants to date right now.

“Today, I expected a text from her saying thanks for the ride home from the airport, dinner and drinks, but there was no text from her. Nothing. The silence was deafening. So, it’s okay to run my story.”

Did Danny feel he’d been breadcrumbed? I think so, and from the information I had received, I think he was.

For women in Southern California, to meet Danny and other fine gentlemen, attend the December 12, Meet and Greet at Tutor and Spunky’s Deli, in Dana Point, California.

Or, to contact Danny, email me at  tompblake@gmail.com; I will forward it to him. Remember, he’s in So Cal and most likely isn’t interested in a long-distance relationship. So, if you live in Bangor, Port St. Lucie, Fargo, or Victoria B.C., or other faraway places, I wouldn’t contact him. That’s just my opinion.

Writing about senior dating is never dull.

Why I’m not a matchmaker

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter – October 25, 2019

by Columnist Tom Blake

Why I’m not a matchmaker and don’t fix up senior singles

I’m a newspaper columnist and an eNewsletter writer. My usual topic: people age 50-plus seeking love. For 26 years, I’ve written about hundreds of seniors who’ve found love, and thousands who haven’t.

Knowing I have contact with so many older singles, people ask why I am not a senior matchmaker and why I don’t fix singles up. There’s an easy reason: it’s too darn hard and seldom works. The effort usually isn’t appreciated.

It’s not that I haven’t tried; I’ve done it dozens of times. I’ve known widowers from San Clemente, California (for example), and widows from San Clemente and have suggested they get together. Some have, but in most cases, no match was made. And then, the people get mad at me for wasting their time, even though my time was free. It’s a no-win situation. In a nutshell, that’s why I’m not a matchmaker.

Granted, some couples have met at our Meet and Greet get-togethers at Tutor and Spunky’s Deli, the Dana Point, California, restaurant I founded and owned for 25 years. But I didn’t fix those couples up. They did it themselves by getting off their couches and out of their homes and coming and socializing.

Technically, I did not introduce them. But, Carolyn and Alex Rentziperis met at our first Meet and Greet 3-4 years ago. And it led to a marriage. He’s been my barber for 25+ years. (Photo by Tom)

Many couples who met there are still together. But not all. Some of the relationships have lasted for a month or so, while others resulted in marriage.

Sponsoring events like that is challenging. Why? There are always more single women than men, especially as we age. Often, by five or six-to-one. I’ve watched women walk in the door, see a limited number of men, and turn around and walk out. Their loss. Sometimes men arrive late.

It takes time and effort to put those no-cost events on.

Last week, a Dana Point woman emailed: “Maybe you should have Meet and Greets more often so seniors have a place to go and socialize instead of staying home. I know you are busy so maybe you can have someone else take charge. Just a suggestion.”

She’s never attended one of our events; she has no clue what’s involved. My answer to her: “More often? It’s difficult enough having one per month, just trying to round up enough men to make it interesting. More often than that? No thanks.” She read that response and unsubscribed–must not have been what she wanted to hear.

Nearly every day, an email arrives in my inbox promoting new dating sites. This week, one arrived with the subject line: “An Easier Dating Site For Men Ages 50+.”

I usually ignore those emails, but, was curious so I clicked on it. It showed a picture of an attractive woman with this caption: “Local matchmaker has more older women & needs more men to match with female clients.”

I said to myself: “What’s new?”

The opening line read, “Meet Successful Dana Point Singles.” Turns out, it’s not an online dating site, but a matchmaking site, the kind where you pay a professional matchmaker to find dates for you.

The site stated, “Professional Matchmakers work with you to determine the exact type of man or woman that would be best for you, and then do their best to find that person and introduce you.”

“Do their best?” Wow, matchmakers are only as good as the people they have in their stables. Let me tell you, they are aware of the lack of men. I have had many of them contact me saying they were having an introductory cocktail party, and did I know of any men they could invite? No joke, it’s true.

It’s Just Lunch is a matchmaking service and on occasion has contacted me asking for the names of men. I decline, of course.

The ballpark cost for hiring a matchmaker? The article stated between $675 to $25,000. At those prices, maybe I should become a matchmaker. Or, at least a paid fixer-upper.

The site also stated: “Matchmaking is by its nature, a local endeavor. That means local offices staffed by warm, experienced, real people – not algorithms.”

Maybe the office is in Dana Point, or San Clemente, or San Juan Capistrano, the cities near me, but if so, I’m unaware of it. Avoid professional matchmakers. Read the online reviews; they are frightening. People feel ripped off.

So, I’ll remain a columnist, and your weekly eNewsletter provider, and leave the matchmaking to – well, the professional matchmakers, wherever and whomever they are.

Senior Online Dating – Plenty of Fish

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter – October 18, 2019

Part One -Senior Online Dating – Plenty of Fish – The good and the ugly

by Columnist Tom Blake

The Good about Plenty of Fish

Champ Cheryl, “I just read the 10 responses to the Brooklyn widow who has given up on dating. I thought all the responses/suggestions were valuable, especially Ginny’s.

I’ve written you previously about the success that my partner, Matt, and I had with online dating and just wanted to comment briefly again. It continues to surprise me that so many seniors report being unsuccessful and/or intimidated, that is, afraid of online dating.

“It seemed the main thread running through the 10 comments was the idea that you have to ‘put yourself out there’ in order to be successful finding a partner, and that is certainly true of online dating.

“It’s also true that to be successful, one must be willing to be open and honest about oneself and what he or she wants in a relationship.

“I found when I approached online dating it was important for me to actively think/decide what qualities were important/crucial to me in looking for a partner.

“And during the process of exploring online dating, I also was able to ‘fine-tune’ what my essential needs were and what issues were not as important. That’s not to say that it’s ok to be really ‘picky’–that doesn’t work either.

“Is it important that his favorite color is red and mine is blue? Of course not. The structure of the online dating site is really important. Matt and I met on OK Cupid, where there were literally thousands of questions that could be answered, covering every imaginable subject with the ability to add comments to every answer.

“By the time Matt and I started communicating, he had answered over 400 questions and I had answered over 600, and both of us had added comments to nearly all our answers.

“We both were honest with our answers and willing to answer some questions that might be considered intimate or personal, especially about sex.

“With online dating one must be brave, open, and honest. If you are, online dating can work.

“Getting involved with local activities can work as well, I’m sure, but sometimes there are either limited opportunities (I was living in a rural area of Ohio; Matt was in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan—600 miles away) or maybe all the opportunities have been explored without success.

“Yes, there are scammers online, but one can be deceived by someone locally as well, and when you meet someone locally, you have no idea initially who he or she truly is, unless someone you know, knows them. There are risks meeting someone locally as well as with online dating.

“Again, I would encourage seniors to get involved with online dating but with a site that provides ample opportunities to get to know someone very well before meeting in person. And there is always the option of doing background checks, which I did a couple of times.

“Matt and I are a wonderful match and found love with each other, which neither of us would have found without online dating.

“I like the comment Champ Jim made last week: Sometimes you have to ‘make your own luck.’ Very true!”

Obviously, Cheryl and Matt put a great deal of effort into meeting each other online. And that’s what successful senior dating—online and otherwise–usually requires. A willingness to put forth an effort. It can take time, money, patience, and a bit of luck.

For some seniors, online dating may be the only option remaining to meet a potential mate. It can work. There are endless success stories, such as Cheryl’s and Matt’s.

However, there can be an ugly side to online dating. Here’s an example:

                                     An Ugly POF story

A Champ wrote: “I’ve been on POF for over 10 years. Here is my POF encounter, 10 days duration, Oct 4-14, in a chopped, quickie, writing format:

“UBER driver, 70, who lives nearby, was from a town near where I’m from back East.
favorite saying, “anyhowzers”
talked 100 mph non-stop, wound too tight
invited him to a dance
went to his friend’s party
went to pool 2 times
did “Taco Tuesday”
Went to a Halloween party, he brought his own bourbon and drank it ALL! (hic)
expected me do drive then; I could not as I had forgotten my glasses
danced at a nearby bar to 70s oldies
he played grab-ass with me on the dance floor!
Went to city to see art galleries,
he only put 24 minutes on meter to walk around, had to rush back to meter to put more $ in (duh)
Drove past galleries, straight to another bar, another beer.

I don’t drink anything except sparkling water at a bar
He ordered one snack plate and split it with me! (cheap, cheap, cheap)
Told me off on way home
End of POF encounter.”

Comments from Tom

Online dating isn’t for all seniors. Plus, there are potential downsides, as described above, to senior online dating: fake profiles, fake sites, romance scammers lurking, trying to take advantage of vulnerable, lonely, people and their emotions. And, there are endless other issues.

Before you sign up for any site, read what the one-star and two-star reviewers write. Even reviews can be bogus. Use only established regular dating sites such as OK Cupid, Our Time, Match, Eharmony, to name just a few. People use these sites for seeking friendship, a pen pal, or a long-term relationship.

Avoid what are known as “Hook up” sites. “Hook up sites” are pretty much for sex only,

                                        Other places to meet men

A suggestion from an animal lover: Get a dog. Besides the health benefits of exercise when walking your dog, you meet other neighborhood dog-lovers. Even better, get an unusual looking dog. That may bring other people over to talk to you. Take your dog to a dog park.

Champ Mark added, “About an hour after reading last week’s column, Donna and I had breakfast at the Strawberry Farms golf course in Irvine. Seated on the patio in front of the driving range, I couldn’t help but notice the ratio of men-to-women was about 25-1.”

Add golf driving ranges as places where more men than woman can be found.

Widow Happy in Brooklyn not dating

 On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter – October 4, 2019

by Columnist Tom Blake

                                     Widow Happy in Brooklyn not dating

Champ Michele wrote, “I enjoy reading the On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter on dating, but I don’t participate much because I live in Brooklyn, NY. I have been widowed for 18 years (at age 49) and still miss my husband. I tried online dating but almost got scammed my first time. The few people that contacted me were beyond bizarre. I gave up on that.

“I have been to some dances, but the men seemed to ask the women to dance who were dressed very provocatively and that’s not me. I would leave the dances saying what is wrong with me. It was depressing. No one seems to know anyone. So, I gave up on that.

“Most single functions end up with the women far outnumbering the men. So, if a man, by some remote chance, asks you to dance, he acts like you should be so grateful that he chose you to ask over these other women. It’s like a meat market.

“I enjoy being with my friends and going on vacation. My attitude is, as my mom used to say, ‘If it’s meant to be it will be.’”

My answer to Michele

I’ve been writing about age 50-plus dating for 26 years, since 1994. My first few years’ articles focused on the challenges of dating later in life for both men and women. At that time, the ratio of single women to single men in their early 50s was approximately one-to-one.

As the years passed, that ratio slowly changed. More and more women contacted me, asking “Where are the men?” The single women to single men ratio drew closer to two-to-one for mid-60s people.

Men rarely wrote me. Either they had found somebody or became too inactive to participate in the dating game. Some men, me included, were still looking for a mate.

Some women said the ratio gap was even larger because many single senior men aren’t relationship material. I could see that finding a potential mate was becoming more difficult for women because fewer desirable men were available. But, good guys were and are still out there.

I remember the Dr. Ruth Westheimer response to a woman at an AARP convention who asked her, “Where are the men?” Dr. Ruth said, “The ratio is a fact of life. But, if you have a nice appearance and a positive attitude, and are willing to get out and socialize, you can effectively shrink that ratio.”

And then another phenomenon happened: A thing called the Internet emerged and online dating got its wake-up call. Women were drawn to it because they could reach out beyond their city and local boundaries to find men. A Brooklyn woman, such as Michele, could reach out to all the boroughs of New York City, which are nearby. Potential mates could meet without driving, by using the subways.


   My partner Greta walking the Brooklyn Bridge, from the Manhattan side

It didn’t take long for senior romance scammers to figure out that lots of women online were lonely and vulnerable, especially widows. The romance scammers saw a fertile environment in which to rip off women.

Granted, lots of couples were formed as a result of the Internet but senior romance scams also bloomed. We try to educate the women about the scams.

Now, we find ourselves in our 60s, 70s, 80s and even 90s. That ratio has reached almost four-to-one by age 75. Women, such as Michele, share their stories of the lack of men at singles functions. Greta and I see it at our monthly Meet and Greet gatherings in Dana Point.

Saturday night, Greta and I were at the Greek Festival in nearby San Juan Capistrano. One of our woman Champs saw us and introduced herself. She even made the comment about the lack of single men at singles events. I found myself trying to explain the shortage of men to her, as I am to Michele today.

So, what can I say to Michele, who is “Happy in Brooklyn” spending time with her friends and traveling. She has given up on internet dating, singles dances, and singles functions. She is accepting her mom’s advice: “If it’s meant to be, it will be.”

Michele, I say, don’t give up on Senior Romance, keep your eyes open for opportunities to meet a potential mate.

Be assertive, not aggressive. By that I mean if you see a man when you are out and about, and he appeals to you (age close to yours, no wedding ring, no soup on his shirt, combed hair, no odor, no spinach in his teeth), make a friendly comment, such as: “Nice jacket, nice car, nice dog, what’s the dog’s name? Where do you buy your spinach?”

Or, if you see him in the food mart, say: “Is this a good wine?” or, “Is this watermelon ripe?”

In the Post office, “Boy, these lines are long?”

On a cruise ship: “Where’s the dining room?”

At the California DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles): “How many hours have you been here?”

Anything spontaneous. He may be hoping to meet someone but he’s shy. Be ready to pop the question: “Want to have coffee?” Be ready to pay for the coffee (his and yours). If he’s worth his salt, he’ll offer at the least to go Dutch. Better yet, he’ll offer to pay the tab. If this makes you feel uncomfortable, at least smile and/or even wink. Have a positive attitude.

That’s where we are now, 26 years later.

I hope Michele doesn’t give up on Internet dating but if she does, I understand. Traveling by subway to meet blind dates would be scary now. But local New Yorkers could travel by subway to Brooklyn to see her. As I recall Brooklyn Heights has some nice cafes

There are so many Internet dating sites online I can’t believe it. Everyday, there is a new advertisement in my email inbox. I can’t imagine the ratios are any better on those sites when compared to singles functions.

Continue to get out and enjoy life and your women friends as best you can. But above all, don’t give up on Senior Romance. You are still a young pup and deserve happiness.

History of Country Music September 2019

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter September 27, 2019

by Columnist Tom Blake

   History of Country Music September 2019

When I first met Greta, one thing we did not have in common was a love of country music. I got hooked on it initially after seeing a Johnny Cash concert at Madison Square Garden in 1969. And, when Western Swing and Outlaw Country arrived in the early 1970s with the likes of Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson, I became a country music fan.

Greta, on the other hand, was busy raising four children as a single mom, teaching full time and attending graduate school at night. She didn’t have time or an interest in acquiring a taste for country music, although she admits to watching some of the country shows on TV, such as The Johnny Cash Show.

After 21 years together, my affection for country music has rubbed off on her. Slowly, Greta’s accepted most of it, just not the twangy, honky-tonk sound. Her meeting Rosanne Cash in person piqued her interest in the genre.


Greta, Rosanne and Tom – 2018

For my birthday one year, she got us tickets for a Kris Kristofferson solo performance in Los Angeles. I’ve dragged her to about six Alan Jackson concerts, a man I refer to as “The Dude.”

And I was quite surprised when she agreed to spend the night of October 20, 2015, at the San Manuel Casino so we could catch Merle Haggard and Kris Kristofferson in concert together there.

Kristofferson had written “Sunday Morning Coming Down,” one of my favorite songs; I will explain why a bit later. That night, he and Haggard performed it together. I captured this photo from the video I took of them while playing that song:


Merle Haggard and Kris Kristofferson performing “Sunday Morning Coming Down” Oct. 20, 2015, at the San Manuel Casino

Greta is a supporter of PBS. So, when she read in her PBS mail that Ken Burns, was directing an eight-episode, 16-hour documentary titled “Country Music,” this September, she wanted us to watch it together. One episode at a time.

Burns has directed many highly regarded documentaries including, “The Vietnam War,” “Jackie Robinson,” “The Dust Bowl,” “The Civil War,” and “The National Parks.”  We knew “Country Music” was going to be entertaining and informative because Burns is so thorough and professional.

In “Country Music,” Greta and I have been blown away with what Ken Burns has created. The music, the old black and white footage, the interviews, have all been spectacular. We’ve both learned a great deal about the history of country music and of our country.

Of course, in the series, we are reminded why Nashville is called “Music City USA,” home of the original Grand Ole Opry in the Ryman Auditorium, with footage of numerous performances there. Three years ago, we spent a week in Nashville and Memphis with my brother and his wife, including a visit to the Ryman, and a Saturday night show at the new Grand Ole Opry, on the outskirts of Nashville.

Series one in Burns’ documentary is called “The Rub.” It features the history of the banjo and fiddle and talked about the importance of the introduction of the radio in the 1920s.

Each series advances time wise across history. Burns uses musicians—not scholars or record-company executives—as spokespeople explaining the history of country music.

Actor Peter Coyote is the show’s main narrator. However, musicians who also share their thoughts are Marty Stuart, Merle Haggard, Loretta Lynn, Bill Anderson, Rosanne Cash, Willie Nelson, Larry Gatlin, Dolly Pardon, Charley Pride, Tom T. Hall, and Wynton Marsalis, to name a few.

For me, this PBS series hits home. In 1975, as the marketing director for Victoria Station, the railroad-themed, restaurant chain, I hired a boutique advertising agency in San Francisco called Pritikin and Gibbons, the last names of the agency’s two founders, Bob Pritikin and Jerry Gibbons.  They had done creative ads for “Marine World Africa USA” and Chevrolet (“The Chevy Man Can.”)

I remember distinctly the day Victoria Station’s top executives were summoned to the P and G office, located in a converted mansion on Sacramento Street for a “Creative Unveiling” presentation and luncheon. They wheeled out a reel-to-reel tape player and said, “On this tape, you will recognize the voice of the person we recommend hiring as your company spokesperson to sing your radio commercials; it will be a challenge to sign him.”

They played Johnny Cash. I about fell over. It was six years after hearing him perform at Madison Square Garden. As we left the building, Victoria Station president Dick Bradley said to me, “Make it happen, as soon as possible.” (In other words, get Johnny Cash hired).

That began a two-year association with The Man in Black and June Carter Cash and the Carter family.


Rosey Nix in car, June, John Jr., Johnny and Tom at the Miami Victoria Station parking lot the morning after first meeting them in 1975

As Greta and I have watched these “Country Music” episodes, so often featuring Johnny, his daughter Rosanne, June and the Carter family, I pinch myself and say, “Did this really happen to me?” “Did I become friends with Johnny and June?” “Did I co-produce a record album with Johnny?” “Did I actually go inside the walls of San Quentin Prison with Johnny and his band?” The answer to each: Yes, although it seems like a dream.

A few months after Johnny became the Victoria Station spokesperson, he and June invited several VS executives to be their guests at a dual-concert event at the Sahara Tahoe Resort and Casino in Lake Tahoe. Between concerts, 17 of us went back stage so I could introduce them to John and June.

Johnny said to me privately, “What’s your favorite song of mine?”

I said, “Sunday Morning Coming Down.” In the second show, he said, in front of a large audience, “Hello Tom Blake, this song is for you.” And he played it.

June Carter Cash with Tom in 1975 At the Sahara Tahoe Resort Hotel at Lake Tahoe when the Cashes hosted Victoria Station executives at a brunch the morning after the concerts we all attended. 

One day, Johnny asked me if Victoria Station would sponsor an album of train songs. We agreed. So, on August 15, 1975, I returned to Hendersonville, Tennessee, to the House of Cash recording studio, where we had recorded the radio commercials with him, to work with him on what songs would go on the album. It was my job to select the songs. He wrote the title song, “Destination Victoria Station.”

                    

The album, Destination Victoria Station, still in its original clear cellophane wrapper, that Tom co-produced with Johnny (Trust me, Johnny did all of the work). 50,000 albums were pressed.

Johnny had just published his book, “Man In Black.” After the recording session, I asked him to sign copies of his book for a few of the Victoria Station people.

Johnny signed his Man In Black 1975 book to me on August 15, 1975, at this recording studio

After the Johnny Cash/Victoria Station association ended, I kept in touch with him.


  Tom, Johnny and Tom’s sister Pam, in San Diego at Humphrey’s by the Bay in the late 1980s

I feel the most noted biography in the entire series of eight is that of Johnny (OK, a bit biased here). The observations of Rosanne about her dad are precious. In the final episode , Rosanne sings a memorial at the Ryman Auditorium to her dad called, “I Still Miss Someone,” which I heard Johnny sing in person a dozen times. It could bring a tear to your eye.

Burns must have been preparing this documentary for years. He was able to include Merle Haggard as a spokesperson prior to Haggard’s April 6, 2016, passing. Haggard, was a huge contributor to the “The Bakersfield (California) Sound,” an offshoot from the music of Nashville. He and Buck Owens were the two most successful “Bakersfield Sound” musicians.

In episode six of “Country Music,” Kristofferson talked about writing “Sunday Morning Coming Down.” It sure brought back memories for me.

Seniors often ask for suggestions on what they can do for inexpensive entertainment. One idea is to have a “Country Music” party on eight different nights, and, invite friends to come watch this fascinating series on home TV. The sessions are archived on PBS. The shows can also be streamed online.

If you decide to watch “Country Music,” be forewarned if you aren’t a country music fan. You’re probably going to become one.

Link to PBS https://www.pbs.org/kenburns/country-music

Update to above posted October 3, 2019

Country Music Final Comments

 The Ken Burns “Country Music” 8-part series on PBS, and, the responses from Champs affected me in many ways I did not anticipate. Here are two examples:

1 The John Denver lookalike comments

Champ Mary Lou emailed, “Oh my gosh Tom you outdid yourself with last week’s “Country Music” eNewsletter. Also, you looked so much like John Denver in your younger days. It’s uncanny in the photo with you in those (ahem) plaid bell bottom pants.

“I loved John Denver from the minute I heard his voice on the radio, and was so very, very sad when he died. Not the true country performer, I suppose, but such a beautiful soul.”

Reply to Mary Lou: Yes, I did resemble John Denver in the 1970s. Many people would tell me that when I first met them.

tom and jrc abook cover photo

 Tom and Johnny Cash 1975 at Victoria Station Newport Beach California

I think it was mainly due to my eyeglass frames being similar to the ones he wore. And I did meet him, which I suppose, is worth a paragraph or two.

After Bob Freeman (Victoria Station co-founder with Dick Bradley and Peter Lee) and I attended the San Quentin Prison concert with Johnny Cash, outside in the prison’s parking lot, Johnny’s agent, Marty Klein, invited Freeman and me to go to Folsom Prison for an afternoon concert that same day. Both Bob and I had plans and couldn’t go, it was a two-hour drive. (Not going to Folsom, by the way, was one of the biggest regrets of my life).

And then Klein invited us to attend a television-special taping (not a live show) the next day at the NBC studios in Burbank (Los Angeles). Johnny was appearing with Glen Campbell, Roger Miller, Mary Kay Place and host John Denver. I told Klein I’d be there.

Susan, my girlfriend at the time, and I flew to Burbank, rented a car, and drove to the studios. We had to pass through a security gate in the car. The guard looked at me and said, “Pass right on through Mr. Denver.” Susan teased me big time about that.

In the waiting room, we mingled with about 200 other members of the audience. Two people, thinking I was John Denver,  asked for my autograph. Susan insisted I sign them, which I did: “Bill Denver, John’s brother.”

At the six-hour taping, Susan and I sat with Rosanne Cash in the front row. Afterwards, Rosanne took us to her dad’s dressing room. Johnny was highly respected by his piers; the other entertainers stopped in to visit him.

Denver brought his parents to meet Johnny. Klein introduced us to Denver, saying I was his lookalike.

Denver extended his hand saying, “Far out.” Then, he stepped back a couple of feet, stared at me, and repeated, “Far out.” Then, he stood six inches from my face and said it a third time.

I was composed enough to tell him I’d like to be his stand-in for the upcoming movie Oh, God! that he was in with George Burns. He said he thought the role had been filled but he’d call me if it wasn’t too late. He never called. There went my film career.

Denver died October 12, 1997, in a private plane he was piloting in Monterrey Bay, south of San Francisco. As Mary Ann stated above, it was very, very sad. I hadn’t met Greta yet. After we were together for a short time, I related the above story to her. She had seen Denver, waiting for his luggage at a baggage carousel, in Honolulu. She was equally saddened when he died.

2 The history of Country Music

Greta and I watched episode 8, the final episode of the Ken Burns “Country Music” series, Saturday night. When the credits appeared, the last song of the entire series began. Again, I was amazed at the coincidence for me.

Just six eNewsletters ago, August 23, I wrote about the Irish singer in a pub we visited in Waterford, Ireland, who sang a song and asked if anyone in the bar could identify the song and who sang it. I blurted out, “Wildwood Flower” by the Carter Family. I hadn’t heard that song in 25 years.

The singer asked later how I knew that. I explained to him that I heard Mother Maybelle Carter sing it several times in person.

So, you bet, the Ken Burns “Country Music” series struck a chord with me. It made me realize how blessed I’ve been in my life.

Part 2 – The Sound of My Voice

I don’t want to confuse the above Ken Burns documentary music message with another documentary music message. But, on Wednesday afternoon, Greta and I went to the movie about Linda Ronstadt’s life and career, titled “The Sound of My Voice.”

Oh my gosh, an incredible movie. I had no idea she was so talented and versatile. She can’t perform now, as she has Parkinson’s Disease. But this movie is highly recommended. The music is lights out. Do you remember the song, “Different Drum,” when she was a member of the Stone Ponies? I sure do.

When the unanticipated happens when traveling roll with the flow

When the unanticipated happens when traveling roll with the flow

by Columnist Tom Blake

On September 8, 2019, Greta and had just completed a 30-day trip in Europe. We were boarded our flight to Los Angeles Charles de Gaulle Airport in Paris, and boarded a plane to come home. After flying for an hour, a “traveling roll with the flow” event happened.

Greta and I had sweaty palms for awhile. OK, I admit, that statement is a bit dramatic, but there’s truth in it, which I will explain.

In 20 years of traveling together, we understand there will be travel-related situations that arise that aren’t pleasant, or, weren’t planned or anticipated.

They accompany the travel game. They won’t appear on your itinerary. They come unexpectedly.

And the way you deal with those situations? “Roll with the flow.”

This happened last Saturday. Greta and I were scheduled to fly home to Dana Point, California, at the end of our 30-day holiday to Ireland, Greenland and Iceland.

We disembarked our cruise ship in Amsterdam at 8:45 a.m. We waited at Amsterdam’s Schiphol Airport to catch a 4:30 p.m. flight to Paris’ Charles de Gualle Airport, where we were connecting to a nonstop Air France flight to LAX.

The connection time was tight. We barely made our 6:50 p.m. departure and were happy to be buckled into our seats on Air France. We were going home, and it felt good.

An hour out of Paris, above Northern England, the pilot announced over the PA, “We have a mechanical issue. The anti-collision radar has stopped working. We can’t see other airplanes. We cannot fly over the Atlantic Ocean without it. We are turning back to Paris. It should be a quick-fix.”

I looked at Greta, saying, “There is nothing we can do except Roll with the flow.”

I didn’t mention to her that I was concerned about flying into such a busy airport (10th busiest in the world, 481,000 aircraft movements in 2018) through clouds, the ground not in site, with no anti-collision radar. I simply crossed my fingers while listening to The Beach Boys sing, on the plane’s in-flight entertainment system. I could sense in looking at other passengers that some were concerned.

I watched the screen in front of me as it showed the U-turn and the airplane progressing back:


  Eyes glued to the screen at my seat

On final approach, still listening to the Beach Boys, their song, “Don’t Worry Baby,” started playing, which I thought was almost humorous.

The plane landed. Some passengers applauded. We were safe. Nothing else mattered. A few hours inconvenienced but so what? Roll with the flow.

Passengers were told to take all carry-on items off the plane. And to go to the ticket counter. But we were not told which counter or how to get there (Air France has about 100 counter windows there).  Some 300+ passengers were wandering around trying to find the place where we were to congregate. It was 10 p.m.

We were not told anything except to get in line at the counter. An hour later, Greta and I got to the counter. We were told, “The flight is cancelled. It will go tomorrow, hopefully.”

We were given a box lunch and a voucher for an airport hotel that took us over an hour to get to—there was no transportation available at that late hour other than an inside-the-airport-connecting train that we couldn’t find. The Air France lady had tried to explain to us in French how to get there.

We were walking through dark parking lots and potentially dangerous areas. I thought, yikes, this is possibly more dangerous than the flight that turned back.

A few minutes before midnight, we arrived at the hotel. I got in line at the hotel reception desk and told Greta to go to the bar and order us glasses of wine, before the bar closed. It had been 15+ hours since we had departed our ship to go home.

The wine was decent; the box lunch filled with carbohydrate and sugar snacks. Not edible.


                                   Blue Lunch Box


     Carbs and Sugar

But, we had a roof over our heads and we were safe: Roll with the flow

The next morning, an email arrived early from Air France: “Check in is at 9 a.m. Flight departs 11:30 a.m. We cannot locate your checked luggage. It didn’t make the connection from Amsterdam. Rest assured, we are searching for it.” Roll with the flow.

We had to retrace our steps to the airport check-in for our boarding passes and go through tight security again. When we finally got to the gate, Air France had changed it to the opposite end of terminal three. Oh well, what’s another 300 yards? Roll with the flow.

We departed at 11:50 a.m. and arrived safely at LAX, about 20 hours after originally scheduled. Amazingly enough, the “lost” checked luggage was on the flight with us after all.

I won’t even get into the traffic mess at LAX these days. It was horrendous. Trying to find your Lyft or Uber driver is zoo-mania.

In travel one needs to Roll with the flow.

Reykjavik and Scotland September 2019

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter  –  September 6, 2019

by Columnist Tom Blake

The last eNewsletter (from Europe that is)

Today’s column is the final eNewsletter! (That is, the final article about our trip to Ireland, Iceland, Greenland and Scotland).

Last weekend, the Holland America Line Ms Rotterdam docked in Reykjavik, the capital of Iceland. Unlike the other ports we visited, which were sparsely populated, Reykjavik has a population of 125,000 in the city, and twice that amount when the surrounding suburbs are included.

But, in Reykjavik, Greta wanted to get out of the city. She had one special request on this trip: to visit the famous Blue Lagoon, about 35 miles out in the fields of volcanic rock. One requirement: bring your swimsuit.

The Blue Lagoon is the largest outdoor mineral bath in Iceland. People come from all over the world to bathe there because of its healing powers, particularly for ailments of the skin.

Before entering the large lagoon, people are required to shower. Then, they wander down to the 95-degree, give or take seven degrees, milky waters (color caused by minerals) and, contrary to some beliefs that swimsuits are optional, swimsuits are required. After all, there are children enjoying the lagoon as well.


  The Blue Lagoon in Reykjavik, Iceland

Most popular attraction in the lagoon: the swim-up, walk-up bar. I enjoyed a frosty Gull beer, an Icelandic brew. Two hours and 15 minutes later, we were on the bus and heading back to the city.

On the second day in Reykjavik, as we often do in overseas cities, we rode a Hop On Hop Off bus to visit the major attractions in the city. We got off the bus to enjoy the Opera House, which is almost as unique and attractive as the Sydney, Australia Opera House. The arts are very important in Reykjavik.


Opera House Ceiling from inside–strange photo I know but wanted to give you an idea

The last land we visited on the trip was Scotland, making three stops. The first port was Lerwick, a pleasant little town in the Shetland Islands, best known for the Shetland ponies. We didn’t see any horses as we just went ashore and walked around.

Turns out that Lerwick was one of the most enjoyable shore visits of our cruise. Cute shops, quaint homes with well-manicured lawns and gardens and friendly people. Like this man doing some maintenance on his 100-year-old boat.


    100-year-old boat

We did a little pre-Christmas shopping there.


The Wine Shop in Lerwick

Street sign in Lerwick made us chuckle:

Stop number two in Scotland was in Invergordon, a small city, and Inverness, a larger city. Took a bus tour to Inverness but ended up enjoying the quaintness of Invergordon more. On the bus one sees endless fields of malt and barley, which is where the famous Scotch whiskeys come from.

The Invergordon local church has one of the tallest steeples we’d ever seen.

We did not go to Loch Ness, where Nessie the lake monster is rumored to hang out but in Inverness did see a man fly fishing for salmon in the River Ness.

Invergordon has about a dozen murals painted on buildings around the city. It has a mural walk Invergordon. Greta joined in on a tug of war on this mural.


Look closely at tug of war to see who is pulling

Just prior to the ship departing the pier, a bagpipe band played for ships’ passengers songs such as My Bonnie Lassie and Amazing Grace. Here they are on the pier. In the next few weeks, after when we get home, I will post a video movie of the trip, including these bag pipe players.


8-piece bag pipe band playing for passengers and it was cold outside

Port number three in Scotland was Edinburgh. The ship docked at South Queensferry. We took a bus tour from there to Edinburgh. What a bustling, happening city Edinburgh is. More pubs than we could believe. The famous Edinburgh Castle stands visibly above the city. Impressive city but busy and congested as can be.

Edinburgh also is known for famous authors who were born or lived there. Among them: Sir Walter Scott, Robert Lewis Stevenson, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and J.K. Rowling. There are many statues and residences where the authors lived in Edinburgh.


  Lots of writers in Edinburgh at the Newsroom Bar

While waiting to board a tender boat to return to the ship, one of the volunteer greeters from South Queensferry, upon seeing my University of Michigan block M on my shirt, approached me, dressed in his kilt, and said, “I’m Paul, a Purdue University Boilermaker.” He had played football at Purdue and now was coaching sports in nearby Edinburgh. We had a good chat. He grew up near the Bronx.


 Paul from Purdue with Tom from Michigan

On board ship, Greta and I chose “open seating,” which means the dining room steward seats you with different people each night. Now, Greta and I thought we had taken quite a few cruises in our 21 years together. Perhaps about 15.

One night we were seated with a nice couple about our age, David and Judy Egerton, from Victoria, British Columbia.  We got along nicely with them, as Judy is an author and David illustrates her books. We asked them if they do much cruising. Are you ready for this? By the end of this year, they will have logged 92 cruises, making our 15 cruises seem like a paltry sum.

In next week’s eNewsletter, we get back to the business of dating and finding love for the older set. We didn’t see any romances form on the ship, although perhaps behind closed doors some materialized.

Thanks for your comments about my cruise articles. Glad so many of you enjoyed them. Keep the questions and comments coming.

Have you been Catfished?

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter – August 2, 2019

by Columnist Tom Blake

Have you been Catfished?


OK – so this is not a catfish, it’s a trout, but you get the idea (Photo by Tom)

Catfished–a relatively new senior dating term.

Last September, Champ Rabecca emailed, “Have you ever written about ghosting or being ghosted?”

I replied, “What the heck is ghosting?”

Rabecca said, “It’s a term used in dating.”

Her question led to the creation of two eNewsletters. The first, dated September 14, 2018, was titled “Ghosting” and the next week, September 21, the second–as a follow up–was titled, “Who hasn’t been ghosted?”

All previous eNewsletters, including those two, are archived on the Finding Love after 50 website. if you’d like to read or reread them, see the link at the end of today’s issue.

The Urban Dictionary defines ghosting as: “The practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.”

At least 25 Champs responded to the first eNewsletter and most of those responses were featured in the second one. Most everyone has been involved in ghosting—on one or both sides of the coin.

                          And now another new term (at least for me)

Recently, Champ Joel Blackwell brought attention to another new term, at least to me, and, Joel said, to him as well, “catfished.” Joel posted a comment on our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group page that resulted in responses from people who are members of that closed group. As of today, there are 522 members.

(A “closed” group means to join, people must request permission from me, the founder of that Facebook group. I keep it closed to keep intruders with evil intentions from getting into that group to protect our members.)

Joel provided the definition of “catfished” as stated in The Urban Dictionary. It’s luring someone into a relationship by means of a fictional online persona. He saw the term “catfished” in a New York Times Modern Love article, titled, “When a Dating Dare Leads to Months of Soul Searching,” by Andrew Lee. The link to the article is also provided at the end of today’s Finding Love After 50 eNewsletter.

Facebook member Marilyn wrote, “I was ‘catfished’ while on Match.com. He was charming and intelligent and said all the things I wanted to hear to open the lines of communication.

“He claimed to be a widower, well-traveled, ready to retire, etc., First red flag: there was always an excuse why he couldn’t meet in person, although he claimed to live locally.

“Second red flag: after a dozen or so emails and phone conversations, he started suggesting I join him on an incredible European investment deal, but he needed to use my name and bank account info to hold some funds for him. Hah!

“A little online research revealed this man (from Nigeria) used the same profile pics, verbiage and tactics on all his contacts and I was only one of many selected. It was eerie how he used the very same lines on each of the women. Even when confronted, he claimed I had misunderstood his intentions!”

“Catfish lessons learned: if the topic of money or finances comes up after a short acquaintance, Run! If he says all the right things, Run! If he finds reasons not to meet with you, Run!”

The story in that New York Times Modern Love article is well written, informative and interesting. I won’t tell you how it ends. You can read it yourself. Joel provided the link to it:

New York Times Dating Dare article

So, there you have it, another online dating term to add to your vocabulary. If someone is “catfishing” you, i.e., using fictional online persona, that person is up to no good as Marilyn explained with her online experience. It’s often the precursor to an attempted scam.

“Ghosting” and “Catfishing.” Two ugly dating terms, although not exclusively applicable to seniors. “Ghosting is mainly being inconsiderate, the chicken way to move on from someone.

Catfishing is posting bogus information and being dishonest. Being catfished can lead to more serious issues, like losing money or putting oneself in danger.

Just be aware. It’s a complicated dating world out there.

The link to all 2019 and 2018 eNewsletters is:

https://www.findingloveafter50.com/copy-of-2013-2016-enewsletters

Once there, go to the right-hand column and under Archives, click on September 2018 to read the “Ghosting” and “Who hasn’t been ghosted?” eNewsletters.

Meet and Greet information for Dana Point, California area for August:

Monday, August 19, 5 to 7 p.m. The city of Dana Point Recreation Department is starting a mixer called Active Lifestyle Connections for 50+; Dana Point Community Center – Garden Cafe 34502 Del Obispo. Light refreshments (no alcohol). For information, call Monique 949 248-3507. No cost.

Thursday, August 22, 5 to 7 p.m. Meet and Greet for 50+, Tutor and Spunky’s, 34185 Pacific Coast Highway, Dana Point. This is our usual 4th Thursday event. Greta and I will be out of town, so Maria Olamendi, has offered to act as hostess. Food complimentary. Beer and Wine $5 each. Greta and I will be at the September event. Details on where we will be in August will be in next week’s eNewsletter.