8 Roadblocks to Love in senior online dating

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter – April 14, 2023

By Senior Dating Columnist Tom Blake

8 Roadblocks to Love in senior online dating

Online Senior Dating Roadblocks to Love

Responding to last week’s eNewsletter on senior chemistry, a few Champs emailed.

Linda said, “I agree a senior kiss is the hope of something more in a relationship. It’s the window of hope.”

John emailed, “I’m currently trying senior online dating. I wonder if you’ve noticed this: Some women are so intolerant of men who hold different opinions that those women won’t even consider meeting those men.

“I’ve seen it in women demanding liberal or conservative men, Covid-19 vaccinated or unvaccinated, and Christian or secular.  

“One woman ‘liked’ me, and when I read her profile, I seemed to meet all her positives except I’ve been vaccinated five times and she insists on a man being unvaccinated. Despite my five vaccinations, I got Covid1-19 on February 7, 2023. It wasn’t pleasant but I wasn’t seriously ill—no pneumonia. Did my vaccinations help or not? I have no idea.

“Perhaps the vacs prevented me from ending up in the ICU on a ventilator, perhaps not. What did help was Paxlovid—I felt considerably better 12 hours after taking a dose. I relapsed after taking the five-day course, which apparently isn’t that uncommon. I took a second prescription and again felt much better 12 hours after the first capsule. I highly recommend it if you get sick. The sooner you start after coming down with Covid-19, the better. So, Tom, have you experienced issues like that in online dating?

Tom’s comment:

I’ve been online for approximately six weeks. I feel that John is right about the three potential senior dating roadblocks to love he pointed out.

1 Senior romance and Political belief – Conservative vs. liberal or moderate. One woman said, “At this stage in life, I would hope a man and a woman would rise above the politics and just focus on loving each other instead of throwing darts at their political leanings.” I agree with that statement but must admit I deleted one profile that featured a woman in all her photos standing next to Trump. Not a real picture, just a photo of him. Enough I thought.

2 Covid-19 vaccination situation. I must admit that I would be hesitant to hug a person who has not been vaccinated.

3 Senior romance and religion – Different faiths. Christian, Muslim, and Jewish, for example. Should that matter? Some men and women are very heavy believers in God and Jesus. I’ve been told, “My God is my everything” by a very attractive woman. I am spiritual and believe in God, but do not attend church regularly and seldom open the Bible.

So, I probably wouldn’t match up with a zealous religious woman. However, I respect and admire them for having those beliefs. That doesn’t mean you can’t be friends, but love would be a stretch.

I met a nice woman on Match. We met in person. We had a nice discussion. But she got upset when I mentioned that she was religious. She said, “I’m not religious. I believe in Jesus and God. That’s it.”

Then, I inadvertently said, after a glass of vino, “God damn over a situation she mentioned. She went ballistic. What appeared to be a connection between us, turned quickly south.

Here are five more potential online senior dating roadblocks to love I’ve observed:

4 Height – I’ve seen it on women’s front-page profiles. “I’m tall and am looking for a tall man.” Both men and women seem to agree, it’s preferred that the man be taller by at least two to three inches.

For me, I prefer women to be from 5’ up to 5’7” or 5”8”. But, I’ve seen attractive women under five feet and 5’9″.

5 Age difference – I’ve had some women write a nice message saying I’m not a match with them because our age gap is too many years. I write back, thanking them for their honesty and forthrightness. And I get it. Heck I’ve pass the big 80.

One woman’s profile stated she was 72. But the first sentence of her profile said, “I am 52 years old.” That puzzled me.

I’ve met many women who were married to men 20+ years older. Not one of them regretted their relationship. Most state it was the best years of their life. Hurray for old guys! (Hint, I’m one of them).

6 Animals – Dogs, cats, and horses are the biggies. Many front-page profile pictures show the woman holding a dog or two dogs. And then multiple other photos showing dogs, cats, and horses. I love animals but don’t want Rover to be always at my feet begging for a treat. If senior women love their animals, a guy better be prepared to accept that and adapt to it, but hopefully, the woman will keep the rover under control. On a visit to one woman’s home, rover jump up on me with razor-sharp claws and laid open wounds in my forearm that bled profusely. Embarrassing for me and she, but Rover was unflappable.

7 Front page profile photograph. Oh my, one wonders if the profile picture on the opening page is current, at least within the last couple of years. Some I’ve seen are from 5-10 years ago. There is no way of knowing if that profile front-page photo is recent if they don’t show other photos for which to compare. You’ll never know until meeting the person face to face.

One woman confessed that she’s a terrible selfie picture taker and looks younger than her pictures. She was right, which was a pleasant surprise.Some front-page photos are so blurry or unrecognizable that I can’t imagine that person will get any likes.

8 Children Living at Home – I’m not sure how many senior women or men are willing to date a person who has children living at home. That should not be a roadblock in itself. But a discussion might reveal the situation and plans to have the kids move out. So, that might be a temporary roadblock.

Windmills, cathedrals, and tulips

Champ Margaret checked in from The Netherlands where she is on vacation (April, 2023).

Margaret emailed, “I’m enjoying your column even while I’m in The Netherlands on a riverboat cruise. I just went on a 7-mile bike ride around Middelburg. It’s a lovely little town with windmills, cathedrals, and tulips! I went by myself and met so many great, interesting people! I met a nice Norwegian couple but keep bumping into the husband without his wife. I laugh and ask him if he has lost his wife again!  

“Yesterday we were at Arnheim and toured the Kroller-Muller museum. They have close to 90 Van Gogh paintings and multiple drawings of his later-in-life work, which I love. It’s the second-largest Van Gogh collection in the world. The museum is on 22 acres so after visiting the museum, I walked around the property looking at the various sculptures.

“This is a Dutch river boat (less than 100 passengers) and the service is impeccable. They upgraded me to a veranda room, so I have a lovely view as we travel along the canals and rivers. At dinner, I sat with a lady from Northern California, a lady from England and a couple from Scotland. 

“When I first asked the couple from Scotland if they came on the trip together, the gentleman said “Yes, we’re a couple, not married, but have senior sex!” I got a big laugh from that rather blunt declaration!”

Tom’s comment: I wonder if they met on Match.com?

Champ Sheri is also on a cruise, with her parents from LA to Vancouver B.C. Her young nephew had his bucket list item #1 addressed two hours after departure: Riding a go-kart on the go-kart track on the top deck of a Norwegian Line ship.

So, our Champs are getting out and about. And it’s not always about dating. 

Author: Tom Blake

Tom Blake is a newspaper columnist in south Orange County, California. He has published five books. His primary topic is finding love after 50 and beyond, sometimes far beyond, for people 80 and older as well. He also blogs about travel at TravelAfter55.com.

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