 Home in Dana Point, CA celebrates Valentine’s Day Photo by Tom Blake |
 On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter – February 7, 2025 By Columnist Tom Blake Valentine’s Day 2025 Valentine’s Day is intended to be a day of celebration and love. However, as we Champs age, it becomes more difficult for me to get excited about Valentine’s Day. I don’t want to be a downer this year or ruin some couples’ happiness. However, let me share my thoughts on Valentine’s Day 2025. I think about the people in California who have suffered by losing their homes or being evacuated from their homes in the January wildfires. For them Valentine’s Day will only be another day on their 2025 calendars. Perhaps they will endure Valentine’s Day together by sharing a meal and a Champagne toast in a friend’s home, temporary housing, or a pricey hotel. Valentine’s Day won’t have much meaning for them in 2025. I know how they feel firsthand. A fraternity brother who has been my friend for 60 years lives in Altadena, California. He and his wife were evacuated from their home by firemen on January 8 with a loud knock on their door at 5 a.m., telling them to evacuate “Now.” Miraculously, their concrete and steel home is still standing, while the entire neighborhood within a half-mile radius around them was destroyed. They and their grandkids had no place to stay. My Palm Springs vacation home was vacant. It became their home for nearly three weeks. They still cannot return to their home as the authorities won’t let them. It will be another month or two. And now, the families of the two tragic plane crashes back East won’t be celebrating Valentine’s Day. Enough said about that. In 2024, my Valentine’s Day column explained why I keep Valentine’s Day low-key. A woman had approached me in Costco to ask what the On Life and Love After 50 columnist had planned for Valentine’s Day. I thought she expected to hear me describe something fancy such as a romantic evening at one of the nearby 5-star hotels or fancy new restaurants in Dana Point. Instead, I said, “I haven’t made any Valentine’s Day plans. My significant other and I will experience our first Valentine’s Day together. Whatever we decide, it will be something simple.” The Costco acquaintance said, “Why simple? You’ve written about senior love for 31 years, surely, you have some Valentine’s advice for senior singles.” I said, “I’ve never been a fan of Valentine’s Day. Granted, it’s good for the economy. However, certain businesses mount such an overwhelming marketing blitz, that I feel it takes some of the romance out of Valentine’s Day. Not to mention the prices for meals and entertainment that prevail on that day.” The woman at Costco said she was going out with friends for lunch on Valentine’s to save money and not be alone. Her comment made me think of the Roy Orbison song “Only The Lonely” with these words: “Only the lonely know the way I feel tonight. There goes my baby. There goes my heart. They’re gone forever. So far apart.” The link to that song is listed below. I replied, “It’s great you have friends to share that day. But, like New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day can make people without a mate feel lonelier than they already are. That’s why I avoid making Valentine’s Day a big deal in my columns and eNewsletters. I don’t want lonely people to feel even worse.” And now, in 2025, I look back a year. I have friends and column readers whose spouses and/or partners passed away in 2024. I have friends who are fighting serious health issues. A widow wrote me this week: “Not exactly young (76) but I still work as a nurse part-time. Love the beach and would love some companionship. Live in Illinois.” Valentine’s Day this year will be tough on those people mentioned above. Taped to my desktop is this message I read somewhere online. It’s in my handwriting; I copied it shortly after my partner of 25 years-Greta- passed away: We can all fight against loneliness by engaging in random acts of kindness. The most thoughtful thing we as seniors can do on Valentine’s Day is reach out to lonely friends who may be spending the day or night alone. Invite them to join you for lunch or dinner. Share the love of the day with them. And look after them during the rest of the year. Loneliness isn’t just a Valentine’s Day reality for seniors, it’s year around. A Valentine’s rose or orchid for your sweetheart or a friend is always appreciated. Details about the song Only The Lonely The most famous recording by Orbison of Only The Lonely was at the Cocoanut Grove in Los Angeles on September 30, 1987, on the A Black and White Night album. Check it out below and see if you spot Jackson Browne, Bruce Springsteen, Elvis Costello, Bonnie Raitt, J D Souther and K.D. Lang, among others playing. Link to Only The Lonely |
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Since 1994, Tom Blake has been a newspaper columnist on the topic of finding love after 50
On Life and Love after 50 