| On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter Was Francine Too Bold about sex last week? March 21, 2025 By Columnist Tom Blake |
| Last week, I took a chance with the eNewsletter. I published Champ Francine’s email in which she spoke openly about senior sex. Straight from the hip. Blunt, direct, and not mincing words. Very little editing on my part. One of the comments she made: “I’m in my late 70s and would never date or be in a relationship with a man whose libido doesn’t match mine. I’ve done that, and it doesn’t work for me.” When I published her letter, I thought, “Oh, oh. I hope a bunch of Champs don’t unsubscribe, who might have felt her comments were offensive or too bold.” And then I thought, “I’ve been writing these articles for 31 years, we’ve got some brave Champs out there, it’s okay to quote them and let them have a voice. To my pleasant surprise, no one unsubscribed. Francine struck a chord with several Champs, both men and women. I am including some of their comments today. Champ Sharon said, “I just had to say that Francine is right on with her comments! “Being on the same page regarding senior libido is very, very important in a relationship. From experience, I know! I had married a guy whose desire for sex was way less than mine, but I thought I could make him want me more. How stupid that was! “It only got worse to where there was no sex or affection at all, we just existed. He was a good man as society would perceive but for me, there was emotional abuse and no sex. “When I would talk to him about this he would say, ‘This is how I am, and if you don’t like it, you need to make some decisions.’ “When decisions were made after 20 years of a loveless marriage, I had friends who said that he does so much around the house and can fix things, and is such a good man. This is how it all came across to others. He could be nice and accommodating when around other people, but then completely shut down and be the opposite when the two of us were alone. It was almost amazing to watch. “I can hire people to do things around my house, but not for affection, sex, or love. Wow, I’m not sure why I got on that rampage! “Francine should definitely write that book; she is spot on! And by the way I am a fellow Scorpio too, on November 17th Keep up the great work Tom, I so enjoy reading your newsletters!” Champ Mr. Terry, Thailand, “Francine wrote a wonderful bit about sex and meeting family.” Champ and Relationship Coach Christine shared, “I loved Francine’s thoughts. She’s a smart cookie. My ex-husband was also born on November 11. “Also, I now have a free dating advice book on my www.ThePerfectCatch.com website. It’s a downloadable eBook. Simply click on the link at the top of the homepage that says eBook and a free copy will be emailed to you. “Plus, you can schedule a complimentary conversation with me on the website. Champ Colleen, “Love Francine! Good article.” Champ Granny JKaren, 79, “I sure enjoy your column as usual for at least 20 years now. I was born in November but on the 25th. It usually falls on Thanksgiving weekend. This year will be my 80th and plans are in the making to make it a real bash for this legally blonde who like you enjoys SUP (Stand Up Paddle Boarding). “My staying single with energy has kept me occupied with my business of repairing wet suits for surfers plus I help people stage social events. “I am finally putting the finishing touches on my book titled, One Lost Puppy. I’d be honored if you read even the first chapter to make sure my humor is in place. “I would love to invite our champs to a birthday party in the surf Getto in San Clemente, CA. once I’ve got the book in hand to celebrate with. “I’m originally from Eastern Canada. I have a USA permanent green card and a Canadian passport. My license plates are California plates. “I am leaving for my 11th summer in Canada since 1990 with my Chevy truck and pulling another vintage trailer up there loaded with recycled wet suit material. Why the same truck? “I leave the trailers in British Columbia, where they are converted to custom tiny houses on my German family’s 68 Acres, near 100 Mile City in Central British Columbia. The products made from recycled material are sold to fund kids to go to college. “My new project is waiting for a grant for wheelchair kids. My dream from my book sales this fall will allow us to make wetsuits for the kids to have freedom in the water, so they won’t weigh 300 pounds. The 1969 trailer I am taking will become an office for the project. Then, it will be used for the movie from my One Lost Puppy book. “I was tap dancing this Monday for Saint Patrick’s Day with my sponsors Kelly & Kelly ins. Largest health insurance company in OC.” (Note from Tom. Let’s hope, with all the tariff issues currently going on, that JKaren is allowed to cross the International Border in both directions this summer. She does a lot for charity.) Champ Wil (Hawaii), “Yea for Francine!” (note from Tom. Wil and I worked together at the Victoria Station restaurant chain in Oakland, California, and Victoria Station Denver in 1972—merely 52 years ago. He was a great bartender and a star on the Denver restaurant’s flag football team. We are still in touch.) Susie, “Question: how does a woman become attracted to an older man? Or if you are a man, to an older woman? I am 83 and still take good care of myself, I was a real head-turner when I was young. “At 83, I still look pretty good because of years of working out and being a dancer, I never let myself go. I want to go on a dating site, but my age stops me. I would not be interested in a man 83, and I figure no one would be interested in me at 83.” Champ MR, “I am a woman Champ (early 60s) and believe I speak for many women. Sex with a man after just three or four weeks together is way too soon. She needs to make sure beforehand that a guy is compatible in many ways (religion, politics, etc.), and the sexual part should come later.” |
On Life and Love after 50 