A night at the ER – On Life and Love after 50

Responses to Debbie’s Fall

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter – November 1, 2024

by Tom Blake Columnist

Last week’s article, A Night at the ER, about senior balance and falling, triggered the most responses from Champs ever. Most were well wishes to Debbie, my significant other, who had tripped on thick grass and injured herself when she landed on the concrete sidewalk. Here is a message from Debbie to Champs.

“To all of Tom’s Champs who were so kind, thoughtful, and supportive with your words of inspiration, stories, as well as very warm get-well wishes. I want to thank all of you, as hearing from so many of you not only cheered me up, during what I would call one of the most difficult weeks of my life, but was also uplifting for Tom, which was also a very difficult week for him.

“The kindness he has shown you over his 30-plus years of writing is reciprocated back to him when he hears from you. I would also encourage all of you to write to him when you need or want to. Also, at the end of this eNewsletter, there is a link to Senior Safety, on the AgingCare.com website, something I discovered last week when searching for a concise list for myself as well as others. Again, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for all the well wishes. Debbie”

Here are a few of those responses.

Delores, “Been there a few times. No fun.”

Carolyn, “My heart literally stopped after reading the first two sentences! I thought ‘Oh no, not again.’ Falls are most dangerous for seniors no matter how strong we are. I’m happy to hear that Debbie is doing well! Please continue to take good care of her and yourself!!

Thyrza, “Your description of your unexpected visit to the ER to accompany Debbie, reminds me of my ER experience last Tuesday. My medical oncologist called me early that morning, saying he saw an inflammation of my appendix. He urged me to go to the ER at Orange Coast Memorial in Fountain Valley where I had my cancer treatment.

“My son drove from San Juan Capistrano to Huntington Beach and took me to the ER. With all the blood work and a digital copy of my CT scam, the surgeon on duty decided I needed a laparoscopy to remove my appendix. I was in the hospital for two days. I am well into recovery. It shows how unpredictable life can be.I wish a speedy recovery for Debbie.”

Curtis, “Six hours to be seen and out is fast. Around here, it’s 10-12 hours just to be seen.”

Bill, “Thanks for sharing, I’m glad Debbie is ok. This is an excellent reminder to us seniors.’

Wayne, “You took good care of her. In one of your columns, you might suggest that seniors take exercise classes that stress balance. I’ve been doing it for 4 years and it’s quite helpful. A fall can happen at any time. Hope she has a full recovery, and you can complete that dinner date.”

Margo, “All I can say is OMG! Excellent newsletter this week and you can never remind the seniors too often to be careful. Even though I try to be careful, I’ve had two mishaps this year (while hiking and bike riding), both were pretty bad but I’ve recovered.

“I was very lucky. Nothing broken but still recovering in some spots from the deep abrasions.”

Gloria, “What an ordeal for you and Debbie, I am happy to hear that she is not more seriously injured although bad enough by the sound of your story.

“As we age, senior falls and injuries are not uncommon, we just don’t see them coming. I also think it takes a mental toll when you’re injured.”

Cherie, “I had a near-death experience last year. I had to call 911 but was so out of it that I could hardly dial the number. No one was around to help me. I was barely able to dial. The ambulance came and took me to the ER. I received a blood transfusion. I had a stomach bleed and would have bled to death had I not been able to get help.

“What I learned: I now have a panic button which is a direct line to emergencies. I recommend this for all seniors. I also will be eternally grateful to the men and women in emergency. I was in intensive care for one night and then in the hospital for two more nights. We must know how to take care of ourselves and use the wonderful facilities at our disposal.”

Jim, Always be careful of our surroundings and try to balance as much as possible. Always go to ER if there is a head injury. And look around for any kind of hazard that can cause a fall. Be careful of ladders. Try balancing on one foot for 5-20 minutes.”

(Hey Jim, how about balancing on one foot for 10 seconds?)

Carol, “I worry about falling every day…old age!”

Dr. David Allen, a fraternity brother of mine, the State Commissioner of Health for Kentucky, 1980-83. “Trips to the ER are exhausting and terrifying!”

Bonnie, “You made the best decision. I have been to that emergency room. They are great. Prayer for Debbie for a full recovery. God hears us when we ask.”

The link to the General home safety tips that Debbie referred to is

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/making-home-safer-for-seniors-a-room-by-room-assessment-121363.htm

I recommend you click on this link and print out a copy for yourself. Granted it seems a lot to comprehend. However, implementing just one tip might save you or a loved one from a fatal fall.

Tom’s Final Comment: I appreciate your participation. If none of us falls or has a serious accident this week, we will get back to the senior dating topics next week. Send me your dating questions and comments.

A Senior Night at the ER

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter October 25, 2024
A Night at The ER
By Columnist Tom Blake (with assistance)

Note from Tom. I had help from Debbie, my partner of 18 months, writing this eNewsletter. Soon, you will understand why.

Last Friday night Debbie and I were heading out for dinner at 5:30 p.m. My car was parked at the curb outside my home. I walked four feet in front of her to open the passenger-side door. Much to my horror, she tripped on a patch of uneven Korean grass and fell face-first hard on the concrete sidewalk.

Her water bottle and purse went flying. The right side of her body, particularly her right breast and face, took the hit. She didn’t scream but she let out a loud sound of agony. The dogs belonging to our neighbors across the street could not see us, but upon hearing Debbie’s moans, started emitting a mournful noise. They could sense that something was terribly wrong.

With all the medical issues that Debbie has endured in the last five months–painful breast cancer removal and reconstructive surgery, radiation, loss of estrogen, hot flashes, endless doctor visits, and physical therapy–to see her writhing in pain curled up on the sidewalk, I felt so bad I nearly went into shock.

When you love someone, and see them so compromised, it takes a toll on your entire psyche. It took over three minutes to get her gingerly onto her feet.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” she proclaimed. With a reddish-blue bump forming over her right eye, I didn’t think she was okay. There was no blood, however, which was a positive sign. Debbie asked me to get her an ice bag to put above her eye. Fortunately, she didn’t break her hip.

Debbie is a tough cookie. While holding the ice bag above her eye, she said, “Let’s head for dinner.” I said, “I don’t think so. Are you sure?” She insisted. We got carefully into the car and I started to drive. My mind was racing. Should we even go to a restaurant? Or should we change to a drive-through eatery? Debbie solved my dilemma by saying, “Do you think the Urgent Care around the corner is still open?”

Debbie always puts a positive spin on life. She kids a lot. Next, she added, “I hear they have great dinner specials at Urgent Care. And it’s early, so it’s probably not too busy yet.” (She was kidding of course).

She asked if I had called ahead for a reservation (still kidding). At this point, the small “egg” had grown over her eye. I headed for Urgent Care, two blocks away. Fortunately, they were still open, but unfortunately, in the case of a head injury, or possible traumatic brain injury, they send you to a hospital ER, where there is more sophisticated equipment. We looked at each other and agreed. “We are going to the ER at Mission Hospital.”

(Debbie’s reason for us going to the ER was that about two years ago, she fell off an 8’ ladder onto the concrete floor in her garage, and because she didn’t hit her head, only her back, and she had little pain, she thought, ‘good no concussion’, and decided not to go to the ER that time. However, she recently discovered that in that fall she had a fracture in her L4 area, and she didn’t want to risk any future back medical issues).

The ER

We arrived at Mission Hospital ER at about 6 p.m. There were seven ambulances parked nearby with their rear emergency doors open. When we entered the waiting room area, the room was 3/4 full of people of all ages, both patients and people who had accompanied the patients. Several health technicians and security personnel were scurrying around trying to be as helpful and efficient as possible.

Upon checking Debbie in, the staff made Debbie a top priority due to the potential brain injury caused by her fall. I heard an announcement that went throughout the ER saying ‘Code X, brain trauma patient checking in.’ We were told we’d be at the ER for at least two hours. During our time in the waiting room, Debbie was summoned several times as staff members came and escorted her to labs, an EKG, X-rays, and CAT scans. The ER was a busy place on that Friday night. Six people were checking new patients in.

Debbie is a Psychotherapist. She analyzes and assists people for a living. Together, we watched the new people arriving. To help pass the time while waiting and take the edge off her situation, we exchanged thoughts on what the other patients were dealing with.

This, of course, involved much eavesdropping, observing, and filling in the blank’s guesswork. We first focused on a young woman and her male companion who arrived shortly after us. There were no obvious medical issues that we could see about her, but she was crying. We didn’t know what was going on with her until four hours later, she was united with a baby boy, perhaps her son or nephew.

Most new arrivals were escorted by one or two family members or friends. A few people were alone. One was a man, 50ish, 6’2’, seated by himself. He was wearing high-top tennis shoes with untied shoelaces. Debbie told me that not tying one’s shoelaces is one of the latest fads among hip people these days. (I’m so out of touch in my older years).

Another young man wearing a football uniform had a makeshift cast on his arm. He had likely been injured in a Friday Night Lights football game. He was whisked through the waiting room to somewhere deeper in the hospital. We saw at least 25 new patients check in.

At 10:15 p.m., Debbie was relocated to the main emergency room area where a doctor would review all her results from the tests she had endured. I was allowed to be with her. That is also the area where patients on gurneys are wheeled in. Twice, people were wheeled into the hallway strapped on gurneys being escorted by armed Orange County Sheriff officers with guns at their sides. Heaven only knows what had transpired with those two dudes.

All of Debbie’s tests came back ok. Most importantly, the CAT scan showed no brain bleeding. The doctor said it would feel like a truck hit her, especially her sore breast that she had landed on, and that she should take it easy for a week but would feel discomfort for as long as a month. Debbie was released from the hospital at 11:30 p.m. We made it home by midnight. Our dinner date lasted six hours, but we didn’t eat a meal. I had a protein bar from the hospital cafeteria.

How is she feeling now, seven days later? She said, “I have a concussion. My head is still in a fog, and my right breast still hurts and it’s painful when I take a deep breath.”

Lessons Learned From Debbie

Debbie said, “Seniors must always be mindful of their surroundings, such as curbs, stairs, and uneven surfaces.

“Plus, seniors must ensure they seek medical help when they’ve had a mishap, even when they feel they are ok.”