On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter – Page 6

First date senior sex called The Dance

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter

April 15 2022

Tom Blake columnist

Senior women have an answer to request for first date sex. A resounding NO! Loud and clear! — Senior Women’s answer to first-date sex. A resounding NO! Do you understand me?

This week, when I received an email about “the dance,” I immediately thought it had something to do with Garth Brooks’ incredible song, “The Dance.” As it turns out, it had nothing to do with the message in Garth’s song.

Diane emailed, “I’ve only been a Champ for a couple of years, but I look forward to receiving your eNewsletter each Friday. I enjoy all the banter and great information. The stories are wonderful. I need your wisdom and experience. I have been stumped lately by something I continue to hear about dating. I think you’ve heard it all and maybe you can give me an update.

“I’ve been told I’m behind the times, that my views on dating don’t work anymore and I need to remember it’s 2022. All these so-called experts may be right. The last time I dated was in 1981.

Widow dating

“I was with my husband for 33 wonderful years and have been a widow for more than seven years. In the 1980s, I went on a date to get to know someone, to laugh, to dance, and to enjoy the time together and build a relationship.

“And here’s what I’m puzzled about: sex wasn’t a first-date consideration back then. But it seems to be now. I’ll explain

“I finally decided to try online dating after my friend and my son set up my online account late one evening after I fell asleep. I needed a kick to get moving.

“I enjoyed most of the conversations and went on a couple of coffee meet ups. After each meet up (the same day) I received requests or invites to come over for sex. Now I enjoy the dance (Diane means sex) and would love to get close again but on the first date? In 1981, we were labeled ‘bad’ girls if we took that course of action.

“I asked a few friends and medical experts about this new ‘dance on the first date.’ I was surprised that out of 10 women, nine told me to dance and NOW! Only one said no.”

“So there is part of my dilemma. I want to dance; I want to build a relationship and I am probably a ‘good’ girl. I also know this is probably something not everyone wants to talk about, but I thought the topic is current and of value. We aren’t getting any younger either.

“If you have up-to-date information or views, I will enjoy hearing what you and other Champs think about the first-date dance. I don’t want to feel that a 68-year-old girl gives up. There is so much more life to live. And there will always be new dance steps!”

Tom’s reply:

Thanks for being a Champ and for writing. I think the 9 out of ten women are wrong. Sex on the first date or until you’ve gotten to know a new person is a bad idea. There are too many dangers, including catching a STD (sexually transmitted disease). Some studies have shown that the fastest growing population segment for STDs is age 55 and older.

Plus, you wouldn’t know the person at all. He might be married, in a committed relationship, or be a scammer or a felon. A man who would request “the dance” lacks class and character.

How would you feel if you had sex with a guy and then he never called you again? You’d feel terrible, cheap, used, etc., and that isn’t a good feeling. So don’t buy into that advice.

You have dignity. Yes, intimacy would be nice but only with a person with whom you are building a relationship. A first-date or second-date hop in the sack isn’t anything more than lust. When is having sex okay? After you’ve established a trust with him.

I think an answer to those men who request first-date intimacy is, “Hey, I enjoy sex, but I need to know a person better than over a few sips of coffee. I’m dating to establish a relationship with someone I’m compatible with. I enjoyed your company. It would be nice to have a few dates and see how we feel about each other.”

If he balks, then he isn’t the person for you.

Are you behind the times? Not from that aspect. Are there things for you to learn? Sure, but don’t think you are wrong on this aspect.

I don’t write much about senior sex; I maybe mention it occasionally but it’s an uncomfortable topic. I’m sure some of our Champs will share their opinions on “the dance,” as you call it.

Look at it this way: If a man didn’t find you attractive, he wouldn’t ask you over for “the dance.”

Link to Garth Brooks’ singing “The Dance.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNaJG0XJaRE

Has the senior dating scene changed in 28 years?

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter April 8, 2022

By Columnist Tom Blake

Has the senior dating scene changed in 28 years?

This week, I was rummaging around my computer desktop when I came upon the first newspaper article I wrote. It was published July 8, 1994, in the Laguna Niguel News and the Dana Point News. Those newspapers created a new category called “Middle Aged and Dating.”

“Home alone, with only dogs for company,” was the title of that first article. When I re-read it this week, I thought to myself, “Oh my, age 50-plus dating has changed in many ways in 28 years, but, in some ways, it hasn’t.

Why did I start writing about dating after 50 in 1994? An unexpected divorce was the triggering event. I had been happily married for six years. I spent Christmas 1993 visiting my 83-year-old mom in Northern California. Simultaneously, my wife was taking what furniture and belongings she wanted and moved out. The catch? She hadn’t informed me of her plan.

I wasn’t a writer back then, but I’ve always kept a diary. That move-out event started an entirely new diary chapter. I wrote about the move out, the subsequent divorce, and the rather unsuccessful attempts at trying to date in the first few months after the divorce. I had blind dates, first dates, expensive dates, frigid dates, frustrating dates, and last dates. After each date, I wrote the woe-is-me details in the diary.

Five months later, I converted those diary notes into a 70-page short story. I thought perhaps that some newspaper or magazine might be interested in my hard-luck story, written from the man’s point of view. Luckily, the Laguna Niguel News and Dana Point News editors gave me a chance. They thought my articles would agitate but attract women readers.

At that time, the Internet was just in its infancy, so responses from readers were either faxed to me or left on the newspaper’s telephone InfoLine. There were no Internet dating sites.

As predicted by my editors, that first article struck a chord with women readers. The first message I received on the InfoLine was: “Who is this sniveling puke?” The second message was, “Get the boy a crying towel.” My editors loved those comments.

In that article, I described the middle-aged dating scene as a “jungle.” Not much has changed in that regard, senior dating is still a jungle.

The biggest change: the Internet and online dating. Seniors are able to cast their nets far and wide to try to find a potential mate, which can dramatically improve their chances of meeting someone. However, with the good comes the bad; scammers prey on vulnerable older singles and are a menace to internet dating.

And then, for the last two years, we’ve had this thing called the pandemic, which has made meeting people face-to-face challenging at best.

The terminology has changed. In those days, there were terms like “breaking up” or “petting.” Now, words like ghosting, catfishing, cupcaking, cuffing, breadcrumbing, phishing, and LATs (living apart together) are now tossed around.

One of the biggest changes in the last 28 years is the ratio of single women to single men. Back when the column began in 1994, the ratio of single women to single men was very close to being equal—one-to-one.

But now, as we seniors reach 70, 80 and beyond, that ratio has reached 4-to-1 or 5-to-1, or even larger, making dating more difficult for women.

Some things haven’t changed: networking through friends to meet potential mates is still an important way for singles to meet. And single people are still lonely, in many cases, even more so. Frustration with dating is still an issue.

And most of us are not with the same partners we were with 28 years ago.

So, yes, things have changed since the middle-aged dating era. We aren’t middle-aged anymore, we’re seniors. To keep up with the times, I’ve changed my column name from Middle Aged and Dating, to Finding Love After 50, to On Life and Love After 50, to Senior Dating. I haven’t figured out what the next term will be. Hopefully, my readers will make suggestions.

In 2013, I changed newspapers from the Orange County Register to the three newspapers that make up Picket Fence Media in South Orange County: the Dana Point Times, San Clemente Times and The Capistrano Dispatch. It was the smartest journalism move I’ve ever made. I’m blessed to still be writing for printed newspapers.

I look back and am grateful for the 28 years of writing columns. There have been nearly 4,430 columns and eNewsletters combined and five printed books published. Some of my readers have been with me for nearly the entire time. I appreciate their friendship and support.

And speaking of appreciating Champs, as I was composing this article on Monday, I received an email from Champ Larry L. in Ann Arbor, Michigan. He sent me a video of Glen Campbell singing the song, “Yesterday When I Was Young.” I hadn’t thought about that song but always enjoyed it. And it seemed to summarize today’s topic of what has changed in 28 years. I also liked Roy Clark’s version.

Here’s the link Larry sent of Glen Campbell singing “Yesterday When I Was Young.”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZVm-vHeG9Q

Match.com brings a senior couple together

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter

April 1, 2022 eNewsletter #13

by Tom Blake

Terri, 71, Palmdale, California, was one of the 16 Champs included in last week’s eNewsletter. She mentioned that she had recently met a new man who is a great travel partner. I asked if she’d share with us how they met and for more details about their evolving relationship. I told Terri she looked about 40 years old in her picture.

Terri said, “I‘ve always taken good care of myself. I guess I didn’t do too bad in the ‘picking good parents’ derby, either: My mother, a tall, gorgeous redhead, worked as Rita Hayworth’s double at Columbia Studios in the 1940s. She turned heads well into her 70s when she was running for a seat on the Lancaster City Council.

“My father was nearly 6’3” (very tall for that generation) and an imposing figure as well. He was a pioneer in the serve-yourself gasoline business in Los Angeles and “Big John” had the dashing good looks of a George Brent or a Don Ameche. They were a tough act to follow. Thankfully I’ve managed to have an interesting life on my own!

“I met Rob on Match.com, back in the dark ages of 2021, right in the middle of Covid-19, and right after we had both received our second vaccines in February 2021. I guess we were feeling a little invincible.

“He lives in Atascadero and I was considering a move to Paso Robles, near that area, so I put that zip code in a Match.com search to see what the dating pool from age 66-76 might look like. Rob had been widowed for about a year after a very long marriage. His daughter had suggested he give Match a try. He was on there for about a month. I was divorced in 2014 after a 33-year marriage. I was on Match a lot longer than I’d like to admit, however, I met some interesting men and some who remain, dear friends, today.

“I saw but didn’t answer Rob’s profile, thinking it deserved more than a cursory or flippant reply. Surprise, surprise, he then wrote to me, giving his email address and asking if I’d like to begin a conversation? So, I wrote him back.

“We talked on the phone for a couple of weeks and then he invited me to a family barbecue at his house. He sent me a dozen red roses before the BBQ. And it really was a family barbecue: his daughter, her boyfriend, his grandson, his best friend, and her boyfriend. I guess it was the ‘approval committee’ barbecue and I passed!

“We’ve been having fun ever since and I have been thankful for his presence in my life throughout some health problems I encountered (since recovered). My life would have been a lot tougher this past year without Rob’s positivity and his presence. Now it’s time for us to travel some and to have more fun. Life is an adventure!

“Rob owns a nice home where he lives with his daughter and grandson. So, we’ll be something like an LTS (living together separately) couple about 15 minutes away from each other.

“Rob was born and raised in Australia. He enlisted in the Royal Australian Navy at 16 and traveled the world for 20 years, including extensive service in Vietnam. Upon his retirement from the Navy, he was a ranking officer. He helps his fellow RAN (Royal Australian Navy) officers celebrate ANZAC day each year (see Rob’s photo).

“After his military retirement, he lived a dozen years in England and six years in France, working as an antique dealer. His American wife wanted to return to the US, which brought them to California, and the Central Coast where he has lived for the past 24 years. Kind of an International guy, no? Love that Aussie accent, and Rob’s a great travel partner!

“He’s an honest and up-front guy, with a high energy level to boot! I would say that persistence and resilience are two of the best qualities one can possess if you want to meet someone and pursue that through dating sites. “Thanks for your columns, Tom, and for all I’ve learned from you about life and being a ‘senior single’ in the past 7+ years!”

Part 2
RETA – “No Grumping for me”

Reta, 84, Cincinnati, emailed: “No Grumping for me. After reading all the comments from the ‘young champs,’ I had to comment on my situation. I’m 84 and babysit my three great-grandkids ages 2,4, and 6 three days a week. This is when I notice fewer aches and pains and enjoy life. Sometimes I’m driving the 30-minute drive home after dark-not a problem.

“I also volunteer to crochet shawls for a hospital. I have different groups of friends to keep in contact with. I don’t walk as easily as I used to, but I keep walking and keep doing. Tell that grumpy man that he needs to do the same.”

Tom’s response to Reta, “Good on ya! I like your comment about being around the great-grandkids helping to keep you thinking young. And driving after dark? Courageous. And volunteering. You’ve got all the healthy buttons pushed. “Proud of you. Keep it up!”

Stop grumping and 15 other responses

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter

March 25, 2022 eNewsletter #12

by Tom Blake – Columnist

Stop Grumping and 15 other responses

16 Champs comment about last week’s “Three things to avoid after age 70” article

Last week’s eNewsletter quoted a guy named Doug Armey who said that most people after age 70 act and talk old. I didn’t like what he said. Many of you felt the same way. As often happens, our Champs chimed in with concise and sage comments. Here are several of them:

Jacquie, “Today, the 25^th of March, I turn 74. I don’t feel old. I’ve had two back surgeries and have bursitis and tendonitis, but I still walk 10,000 steps nearly every day. I also read lots of books and magazines. My brother and sister-in-law are four years and three years older respectively and are always traveling. They also walk often.

“I retired at 70 so I could do more of what I want. I won’t be reading Armey’s column anytime soon.”

Rosemarie, South Africa, “I’m 82 and manage my business and interact with clients every day. Health is 100%. Three times a week to the gym. I have lunch with my women friends. It’s best to keep busy.”

Kaitte, “I remember my mother telling me when I was 32 that I was no ‘spring-chicken’ and needed to settle down. At 44 I had cancer. I was dating a man five years younger. My grandmother told me she wished I’d find a man my age and settle down. I told Granny 40-year-olds now aren’t like they were when she was 40.

“I figured if I was going to die, I was going to live what was left of my life on my own terms and not in a hospital room.

“I’m 70 and feel the same—not living my life by some society rule that says I’ve got to act or be a certain way at a certain age.”

Pat, “I just celebrated the 41^st anniversary of my 42^nd birthday (83) and am still going strong. I don’t dress, act or think like an old lady. My significant other and I are in our 18^th year together and it keeps getting better. It’s all about attitude.”

Tom’s comment: Pat’s story about how she met “Cowboy,” her significant other, a Harley rider, was so refreshing and inspirational, I included it in my 2009 book, “How 50 Couples Found Love After 50.” Her story’s title: “Love on the back of a Harley.” The printed lesson learned from Pat’s story: Open your mind to meeting people with different interests and backgrounds. Expand your horizons.

In Sarah’s email, she used a word of which I was not familiar. She emailed, “I wonder if Armey has found himself thinking/acting/feeling those things and not happy about it…thus, his grumping about it.”

She added, “I don’t see anything wrong with mentioning age…unless one is grumping about it. Occasionally, I mention my age, but it’s because I am happy to have achieved it—a badge of honor—sort of like my gray hair. I am proud of that too.”

Tom’s comment: I had never heard the word grumping. It’s not listed in my older dictionaries, but it is listed in some online dictionaries. So, no more grumping from me!

Nigelle, Glastonbury, Somerset, UK, “Hurrah for you, Tom, for speaking up for all 70+ peeps that this Armey chappie has never come across.”

Carol, “Loved your article: it sure hit home. I’m almost 85 and all those things were me…I try to keep doing things, but I don’t ‘drive after dark.’ Your eNewsletters are always good for laughs, even when they hit home.”

Thyrza, “I am pleased you give us your take on the articles published. Who wants to read those unfounded negative reviews of people regardless of age? Armey, who wrote the piece, should learn basic philosophy or logic. One does not make sweeping statements that apply to most people, based only on one’s experiences.”

Diana, “I’m 64 and love every year. Being old and acting old is a choice! I choose to never do either. A fun Friday read.”

Teresa, “One thing never to avoid: if you disagree, speak your mind!”

Terri, 71 and counting, “This Armey guy is all wet and doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Seventy years go by awfully fast. I’m lucky. I’ve got great kids, nice friends, a beautiful home, and men still find me attractive.

“I’m in a relatively new relationship with an accomplished, high-energy man, who is a great travel partner. Mercifully, none of us knows how long we have left. Life is and always has been, what we make of it.”

Larry, Florida, “At age 72, I still flip off inconsiderate dudes, like you described in last week’s column. My friend Liz bought a big-screen TV. We rocked and danced to videos of our favorite musical artists. There was a knock on her door. It was her neighbor politely asking to lower the sound because her teenage daughter was studying for a test.’ We considered her comment a badge of honor. We felt instantly younger. We turned the music down, and still ‘danced the night away.’”

Heather, “I turned 69 last week. I rewarded myself by purchasing three new bikini’s. I love being outdoors and getting Dana Point sunshine. No early-bird dinners for my partner Rueben and me. We love to cook and BBQ. Tricky meals are my favs. If they are Rueben approved, they get put into my “Momma Knott’s favorite binder.”

“Also, volunteering is such a pleasant thing to do; I enjoy doing that as well.”

Larry, California: Another thing to do: “Stay off of ladders.”

Tom agrees: That’s for sure. It’s tempting when you need an item from that top shelf that can’t be reached without a ladder. But think twice before doing that.

Kathy, “Some of us who were active in our 30s, 40s, and 50s develop severe knee problems in our 60s and 70s. Even after knee replacements, we can’t engage in those activities we used to enjoy. So, Armey, unless you have walked a mile in those knees, zip it.”

Tom’s comment: My sister Pam recently had surgery on one knee. The rehab was painful and lengthy. But, she’s a trooper (and Champ) and has toughed it out and walking well. I admire her tenacity.

Susie, Virginia, “I’m 80. I’ve had a hard time adjusting to living in an age 62+ community. 80 is just a number to me. There is no one living here like me, I have been blessed with good health and good genes. I’m pretty lonely here.”

Thank you, Champs, for your warm, positive, and friendly responses.

3 things to avoid after age 70

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter

March 18, 2022 eNewsletter #11

by Tom Blake

Three things to avoid after age 70

A couple of months ago, an email from Quora.com popped into my inbox. I had never heard of Quora. I checked it out and discovered that Quora posts multiple blogs on multiple subjects by multiple people.

I signed up to receive Quora’s posts about life and aging. Many of the posts I’ve read so far have been interesting and informative. One post by an author named Doug Armey caught my eye. It was called: What three things should a person avoid once they are past 70 years old?

Armey is likely in his late 60s or early 70s. Regarding his age, he was a bit evasive: “I’m north of the 10^th anniversary of my 50^th birthday. Somewhere, I’m just not sure.”

Because Armey’s topic was similar to topics we discuss in this eNewsletter, I read his post.

I do not agree with many things he wrote in the article. But, a few of the points he made were helpful. Armey wrote:

“First, acting old. Most people hit 70 and suddenly start acting old. They eat early-bird dinners. They don’t drive at night. They can’t go for a long walk. They’re retired but can’t return phone calls. And pretty soon they start looking old and walking old.”

Whoa, hold the horses. I disagree with that paragraph. It’s simply not true. Most people don’t suddenly start acting old after age 70. Perhaps a few people may gradually appear to be aging, but not suddenly unless it’s because of a health issue. I know a lot of people ages 70 and older, into their 80s and 90s, who don’t act old. Their bodies may slow, but that’s not acting, that’s reality.

I’m surprised that Armey didn’t mention that many health issues are beyond a person’s control. For example, heart attacks, strokes, and cancer. People who encounter health issues aren’t acting old or looking old on purpose. Often, when a health issue erupts at any age, not just after 70, it’s unexpected and out of the blue. That’s not acting old. Those are the cards with which we’re dealt. And we cope with them the best we can.

And then Armey wrote this: “Instead, forget about your age. Do everything you should have been doing at 40 to stay in good health. Then keep doing all the things that you used to enjoy and slowly gave up. And most of all stop acting old and looking old. Seriously, it’s not a good look.”

Yes, there are some things we can do such as wearing clean, unwrinkled clothes, shaving, getting our nails done so that when we venture out, we look nice.

And then Armey wrote about the second thing to avoid after 70. He stated:

“Second, thinking old. Most people hit 70 and mentally give up. They retire so they can do, well, nothing. They spend hours watching mindless TV and then can’t remember what was even on. As well as what they walked to the bedroom to get.”

Once again, I object. Especially to the sentence, “Most people hit 70 and mentally give up.” That’s not true. Perhaps a few people but not the people I know. This guy Armey doesn’t know our Champs. Single women in their 70s driving solo across the country or towing an old trailer to San Clemente from British Columbia. Women in their 70s on standup paddleboards and walking briskly in the Harbor. And playing pickleball. Others doing horseback riding. He’s preaching to the wrong group of 70-year-olds.

And how about those who turn 70 and decide to work five more years? Hell, I worked at making sandwiches until age 75.

Armey continues with point number two. “Instead, keep your mind active. If you have a job you like keep working. If you retire, then recreate your life into something meaningful. Oh, and turn off the TV. Believe me, you won’t miss anything. And you might just start remembering stuff like what was in the bedroom.”

I agree pretty much with what Armey said about keeping your mind active. My mom Fran was an avid reader. At age 95, she moved into a bigger home because she wanted more room to store her books. She was a NY Times crossword puzzle expert. Her final bridge game was at age 98, one week before she passed away. At 91, she bought a new car and drove it until 95, when her doctor made her give up her driver’s license, which of course, she wasn’t happy about.

I keep writing my eNewsletters and newspaper articles because I love doing it and doing so helps keep my mind active. Most important, however, it keeps me interacting with people, particularly you Champs.

As far as turning the TV off, Greta and I have the TV on for maybe two hours a day. It’s usually David Muir news at 6:30 p.m., then Jeopardy, and then YouTube TV streaming music like the Bee Gees, Rod Stewart, Abba, and Bob Seger (that’s what we were watching in our 40s and 50s).

Note to Armey: I know what’s in the bedroom, it’s a doggone bed!

Armey’s third thing to avoid: He wrote: “Speaking old. Most people hit 70 and start talking old. They’re always saying, “Oh, I’m too old for that. Or constantly telling you about their aches and pains and how old they feel. And you know what, as they constantly remind themselves, they start believing it.”

Tom’s comment: Contrary to what Armey says, most people who hit 70 do not start talking old. He states, “They’re always saying…” something about how old they are. Again, that’s not true. Yes, occasionally, people growing older are going to mention something related to aging, but most don’t dwell on it.

When my Paddle Board buddy Russell, and I talk while paddling around Dana Point Harbor, dodging great white sharks, sea lions, pelicans, and dive-bombing seagulls, we occasionally mention doctor visits and the meds we take. (see a photo of us on our paddleboards below).

But we also talk about yachts heading out of the harbor at 10 knots per hour when five knots per hour is the posted maximum speed limit, (and the signs on buoys also state “no wake,” which means slower than five knots, particularly for larger boats). When boats make a wake, most paddleboarders must turn into the wakes, to avoid being hit broadside by a wake that could dump them into the water.

During our 40s, we would have flipped off those speeding boat captains and yelled some profanity at them. Guess what? We are tempted now as well, to get them to slow down. But we usually don’t flip them off or yell.

On the third point above, Armey added, “Never utter the words, ‘I’m old.’ I don’t care how old you are. And purposely forget when you were born so you can’t remember your age. Then do the things you like and never speak of age again. You’ll surprise yourself and frankly shock others. It’s fun.”

He added, “A friend of mine, who is a bit older than me, has a bumper sticker on his BMW M5 which says, ‘Growing old is mandatory, acting old is optional.’ You’ll age successfully but only as you purposefully forget your age.”

Tom’s comment: How can we forget when we were born when we are asked for our date of birth whenever we have a medical test or medical appointment? If we say, “I can’t remember.” That’s acting old.

Besides, how can I forget my age when my favorite singer, Bob Seger, keeps reminding me in his song, “Like A Rock,” which pops up often on our YouTube TV music channel at night apparently because it’s on our favorites list?

In that incredible song, Seger sings, “20 years now, where’d they go. 20 years, I don’t know. Sometimes, I sit and wonder, where they’ve gone.”

I sing back to Seger, a fellow Michigander, “80 years, where’d they go, 80 years, I do know.” I’ve been blessed beyond belief. Most of my memories are as vivid today, as they were when they happened. I recall them. Like A Rock.”

So, when you hit 70, here’s what you need to do. Point to the sky and say “Thanks. It’s been a great run; I’m ready for more. Like A Rock.”

Link to Like A Rock

Link to Quora

Senior hugging season is year around

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter – February 25, 2022

By Tom Blake – author and columnist

I don’t make this stuff up. But, I do say that senior hugging season is year around.

My email address is on a journalist mailing list. The list includes writers who cover the topic of love, dating, and life in general. Because I’m on the mailing list, I receive daily “pitch” emails from public relations firms asking me to write about their topics.

Most of the emailers have no clue that my audience is comprised of people aged 60-90. Here are two examples of the emails I receive:

Email received January 17, 2022:

“With cuffing season finally here, singles are on the prowl for love and intimacy during these turbulent times. But finding a partner is difficult during a global pandemic.

“Is it okay to hug after a first date?”

“Would your date rather sit inside or out?”

“Do you ask whether the respective partner is vaccinated?”

“How to make your current relationship maintain its spark despite pandemic stress.”

And then the email offered an interview with a dating expert named Sarah Rose. Rose’s credits state she is a certified tantric sex, love, and relationship coach.

That email baffled me. I don’t think seniors are on the prowl. I had to check the Merriam-Webster Dictionary website to get the definition of what “cuffing season” is and how it might possibly apply to our demographic.

The dictionary site stated: “Cuffing season refers to a period of time where single people begin looking for short-term partnerships to pass the colder months of the year. Cuffing season usually begins in October and lasts until just after Valentine’s Day. The use of the word cuff references handcuffs, but is slang in the same vein as ‘hooking up’ or ‘getting hitched.’”

I had never heard the cuffing season words used in the context of senior dating.

Also, I checked a website called BetterHelp for the definition of tantric love. It stated, “You may need upwards of a few hours to successfully carry out a tantric lovemaking session. This is no romp in the hay. This is an activity that encourages relaxation, meditation, and taking things very slowly.”

My opinion: Seniors might have the time, but not the stamina, patience, or interest to exercise tantric love.

And I wondered why the email arrived on January 17, about three months after cuffing season usually begins, and only a month before it usually ends. It must have been a “slow day” in the public relations business.

Now, about those four questions. (1) Hug on a first date? Are they kidding? Hugs are great even with friends and family, let alone on a first date. True, during the pandemic, hugs were kind of shut down even with masks on. To seniors, hugging is an important form of friendship expression. Most of us grew up enjoying hugs. On a first date? You betcha!

Unlike Cuffing Season, Hugging Season is year-around.

(2) “Sit inside or outside?” I think most everybody would prefer to sit outside. But seniors aren’t likely to dump someone simply because they’d prefer to sit inside, especially during rain, snow, windy conditions, or excessive heat. A person’s health may determine where they want to sit.

(3) “Ask if vaccinated?” During the pandemic, yes. But do it before meeting face-to-face.

There would be no use in going on a first date not knowing who is or isn’t vaccinated. If being vaccinated is important to you, ask early in the first communication, so neither party wastes time.

(4) “How to make your current relationship maintain its spark?”

Now this question might apply to approximately 35 percent of our Champs who are in relationships. I was tempted to call the tantric woman to see what she suggests but with approximately 65 percent of our readers being single and not in relationships, I thought calling her wouldn’t help most of our Champs.

For people in relationships during the pandemic, I think the key is consideration for one’s mate and to utilize Netflix and YouTube TV to help keep the relationship fresh. Also, tackling household projects together might give the relationship a boost.

A second email, dated February 22, left me scratching my head

It stated: “…the personal-finance website Wallet-Hub today released its report on 2022’s Most Sinful States…To determine where the U.S. has the most moral growing to do, Wallet-Hub compared the 50 states based on seven sinful behaviors: anger and hatred, jealousy, excesses and vices, greed, lust, vanity and laziness.”

I am curious how they measured each of those sinful behaviors? And to rub salt into the wound, the report says California is the most sinful. Oh my, I guess I’d better check my jealously, lust, and laziness.

I don’t think seniors are going to make dramatic changes in their lives to move to states where sinfulness is lower. I can hear the boo-birds already, stating that Wallet-Hub validates that so many people are moving out of California (no one mentions the number of people moving here). Oh gosh, I hope we can all get back to a fairly normal life soon. The pandemic has been playing with our minds for long enough.

Part 2 – Fraud – When Harry met Scammy

Thanks to Champ Ellen for this reminder about romance scams. Up 80 % in 2021

“Take a seat, outdoor dining—the hottest trend in dating is being scammed out of thousands of dollars by a professional fraudster. New data released by the FTC reveals that romance scams reached an all-time high in 2021, up nearly 80% from 2020. “That stat might explain why The Tinder Swindler, Netflix’s latest true-crime doc about a man accused of conning women on Tinder out of $10 million, has led the global Netflix charts since it debuted on February 2.

“According to the FTC, people have lost $1.3 billion to romance scams in the last five years—$547 million of which came (or left) in 2021. It’s a steep jump from 2017, when losses from such scams totaled $87 million. 56,000 romance scams were reported to the FTC in 2021.The median individual loss for people scammed out of crypto by a catphish: $9,770

“While the highest individual losses were incurred by people 70 and older (with median individual losses of $9,000) the FTC warned that savvy scammers have had success with every age bracket.”

Note from Tom: On Tuesday night, Greta and I watched The Tinder Swindler on Netflix. It’s a couple of hours long. Three women who were swindled are featured—one loss $250,000–which is incredible that she allowed that to happen.

The swindler led an extravagant lifestyle, using women’s money to fund his operation. It is incredible how professional he was. I won’t tell you what happens in the end, but the key takeaway is: If someone appears or sounds to be too good to be true, trust your instincts and stay away from that person. Don’t give anybody money, unless you understand it won’t be paid back. I don’t want any of our Champs to get scammed. If you have been, share the details with us.

Northern California Road Trip

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter February 18, 2022

2022 eNewsletter #7

by Tom Blake – columnist

NORTHERN CALIFORNIA ROAD TRIP

A Costco promotional email arrived in my inbox yesterday morning with this subject line: “Escape the humdrum – spring was made for travel.” Those words are appropriate for today’s eNewsletter.

When the pandemic began in 2020, my partner Greta and I canceled a train trip to Washington state to visit relatives of hers. The Seattle area was the first Covid-19 “hot spot” in the United States. Since then, we have not traveled except on two-hour road trips to our Palm Springs vacation home, and once last fall, to San Luis Obispo for two days.

When Greta received a “use it or lose it by March 1” message from a timeshare company, we decided to use the week to take a road trip. There was a cute place available in mid-February in the city of Napa in wine country that we booked for a week’s stay.

Napa is about a 10-hour drive from our home in Dana Point. That’s too many hours of driving for us in one day. We used to do it when my mom was living in Sonoma, a few miles west of Napa. But our bodies can’t handle that anymore.

We decided to visit as many old friends as possible on this trip. It has been such an enjoyable and nostalgic week, I decided to share some highlights and observations with you today. The cardinal requirement (for me at least) was to be settled into our timeshare an hour or so before Super Bowl kickoff on Sunday.

Day 1, Friday, February 11

We departed Dana Point last Friday shortly after 9 a.m. LA traffic is—well—LA traffic. A nightmare. We arrived at Harris Ranch, on the I-5 Freeway near Coalinga by 3 p.m. This is a wonderful place to stay. Check it out on the link at the end of today’s article. It’s a large historic inn with a gas station and a couple of restaurants.

The inn is surrounded by acres of farmland and a massive cattle feedlot nearby, which is particularly evident when going outside in the early morning. Putting the odor nicely, the cows have been busy during the night.

We decided to have wine and dinner in our comfortable room. So, I walked over to a BBQ express carry-out place within the inn’s grounds and brought dinner back. Harris Ranch has been in existence since 1937. Highly recommended with free parking and 24-hour security patrolling the grounds.

Day 3 – Super Bowl Sunday

On Super Bowl, Sunday morning, Greta and I drove north on Highway 1 along the coast to Highway 92, which heads east toward San Mateo and then across the San Mateo-Hayward Bridge to the East Bay. Destination: Sunshine Saloon, Pleasanton, to drop off two cases of my “Prime Rib & Boxcars. Whatever Happened to Victoria Station?” books.

Bob Rossi, the Sunshine Saloon owner, opened the Saloon 41 years ago after working at Victoria Station. His saloon is more popular now than ever. Bob and I have been friends for 49 years. We attended the Mardi Gras together in 1974.

Greta said their brunch item Salmon Benedict is the best she’s ever tasted.

From Pleasanton, Greta and I drove up the 680 Freeway, crossing the Benicia-Martinez Bridge over the Sacramento River, to the US 12 westbound turnoff, to the city of Napa.

We arrived at 1:15 at the RiverPointe Napa Valley Resort cabins and were able to check in immediately—more than two hours before Super Bowl kickoff.

An hour later, I attempted to turn on the Super Bowl pregame coverage only to discover the NBC channel wouldn’t work. I telephoned the front desk. They said, “We’re sorry, our wi-fi isn’t working properly. However, we will have the game on a TV upstairs in the main building.” We reserved two spots.

I went to Safeway to get us something for dinner. When I came back, we got pregame coverage on Telemundo, the Spanish-speaking station. We decided we could handle that and enjoy the game in our cabin. The commercials were mostly in English and of course, the halftime was mostly in English. We watched the Rams eke out a victory over Bengals.

Day 4 – Monday, Valentine’s Day

I was up before 7. I had to figure out how the coffee maker worked and where kitchen stuff was. Thank heavens for the breakfast leftovers from the day before at the Sunshine Saloon.

Greta and I took a ride through the city of Napa and were surprised at how old many of the houses are. We shopped at Safeway, so had food to eat when not dining out. There was a huge Valentine’s Day display inside the entrance. It was our 23^rd Valentine’s Day together.

Day 5 – Tuesday, February 15

We departed RiverPointe at 9:30 a.m. Drove an hour to Mill Valley, in Marin County. First stop, the home of Bill and Anne Wamsley, who live in the same Harbor Pointe complex that my sister Christine lives in.

Had a half-hour catch-up with Bill, aka “Wams.” Anne was at work. Wams and I also worked together at Victoria Station in the 1980s.

Second stop, to rendezvous with sister Christine. Greta and I followed Christine in her car to San Anselmo a nearby city. Our mission was to visit the Heldfond Book Gallery, a bookstore that purchases rare books. I had packed in the car two books that came from our mom’s estate that I had decided to sell (as a part of our downsizing), and Christine had one to sell as well.

The street construction around the bookstore made it impossible to park nearby. We walked three blocks to get to the store, only to discover that they were closed. There was no sign on the door; we assumed it was likely due to the construction.

Then, Christine took us to Rustic Bakery – Magnolia, in Larkspur, a great bakery/deli, where we celebrated her birthday with lunch. From there, Greta and I drove north to Santa Rosa, for a quick stop at Oakmont, an age-55-plus community, where Mom had lived for 33 years. We drove past both homes she had occupied. I must admit, seeing those two homes gave me a tug on the heartstrings.

We drove past the real estate office where realtor Nancy DeVoto works. Nancy was the agent who sold both of Mom’s homes. Greta said, “Let’s stop and say hello to Nancy; she might be there today.”

We stopped. We were told she was in a meeting with clients. One of the agents said, “I recognize you. Nancy would be heartbroken to miss you. Let me tell Nancy you are here.”Nancy came out and gave us big hugs. We chatted for a minute. And then, Greta and I drove through Sonoma back to RiverPointe in Napa. A wonderful, heart-wrenching day for me.

Day 6 – Wednesday

Napa Valley wine country

For lunch, we drove north a few miles to an exquisite restaurant named Bistro Don Geovanni, where we were joined by former Victoria Station co-workers, George and Nanci McCullagh. It was their 42nd wedding anniversary. My mom used to love to dine there.

We sat outside, enjoying the view of vineyards surrounding the restaurant. This restaurant is a must to visit, considered by many restaurant critics to be the finest in Napa County. Great service. Great food, and atmosphere.

After lunch, we drove north 15 miles to the city of St. Helena, in the heart of Napa Valley. Our mission was to see the memorial park named for the McCullagh’s son, Stephen C. McCullagh, who died at age 29 in a tragic lightning strike on July 28, 2005, while leading a Boy Scout troop who were camping near Mt. Whitney.
The small park is tucked away on Crinella Drive in St. Helena and hard to find; I went into the post office where an employee gave me directions.

Day 8 – Friday – Meeting family and friends

For lunch, Greta’s brother Peter, and his wife Barbara, drove from Petaluma to have lunch with us.

For dinner, Bob Freeman, one of the three original founders of Victoria Station, and his significant other, Andrea, met us for dinner at Q, a bbq restaurant in Napa. I handed over a case of “Prime Rib & Boxcars. Whatever Happened to Victoria Station?” books to Bob. He uses them for promotion in the BV Restaurant in San Francisco, which he owns. The BV is known inventing the Irish Coffee cocktail. They’ve sold over 50 million of them.

Day 9 – Napa with an overnight stay at Harris Ranch Again
And, in case you are wondering, yes, we did enjoy some nice Napa Valley wine link to Harris Ranch website

Valentine’s day, sad for some seniors

Valentine’s Photo over Dana Point – Feb 5, 2022, by Tom Blake

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletterFebruary 12, 2022

2022 eNewsletter #6

by Tom Blake – author and columnist

Part I- Responses to last week’s Super Bowl II eNewsletter

I was floored by the number of responses to last week’s eNewsletter. So many great ones. Several Champs shared similar memory stories, including Rick O., who attended Super Bowl I, which happened to be in Los Angeles.

Two Champs encouraged me to check the collector’s item value of the ticket stub from Super Bowl II. I did. Ebay showed the same game ticket selling for between $1,000 to $2,700. I’ll see about that.

Another Champ, Joel, found an update on stewardess queen Patty Poulsen. Sadly, Patty passed away three years ago at age 75. She would have been 78 if she were attending this year’s game.

There was no word on Jill Spavin, the other world stewardess queen (that’s what they were called back then, now it’s flight attendant).And because today we’re mixing the Super Bowl topic with the Valentine’s Day topic, I wanted to mention a Facebook posting that landed in my inbox. It read:

“A good buddy of mine has 2 Super Bowl tix, 40-yard-line box seats. He paid $8,500 each but he didn’t realize when he bought them that the game was going to be on the same day as his wedding. He didn’t think he’d land the tickets, but his order went through!“He’s looking for someone to take his place. If you’re interested, it’s at Calvary Church in San Clemente at 3 p.m. The bride’s name is Nicole. She’s 5’4”, about 115 lbs., and a good cook too. She’ll be in the white dress and holding a bouquet of flowers.”

PART 2: VALENTINES 2022 – Valentine’s Day, sad for some seniors

The photo above of the heart in the sky was taken last Saturday on the patio of our Dana Point, Calif. home. Greta (my sig. other) and I were sitting outside with her grandson, Andre, his wife Lindsay, and Greta’s most recent great-grandchild (#4), Isabella. We all agreed, it was a Valentine’s greeting sent to us by a friendly sky-writing pilot. I grabbed my phone to snap the photo.

Champs sometimes ask, “What do you get Greta for Valentine’s Day?” I reply, “Nothing.” Sounds cold–and unromantic–doesn’t it? But here’s the deal. Greta and I met in 1998 and have been together ever since. Meeting her is the best thing that ever happened to me. We’ve had a quarter-century of incredible experiences together.

Kris Kristofferson wrote a song that describes how I feel about having Greta in my life. Loving Her Was Easier (Than Anything I’ll Ever Do Again) (the link to this song is listed at the end of today’s article).

I mean, the trips we’ve had together: Spain, Italy, France, Ireland, Denmark, Estonia, Greenland, Canada, England, all of South America, Russia, Japan, China, Taiwan, Australia, New Zealand, Monte Carlo, the xxx Islands, Greece, Turkey, India, Nepal, Casa Blanca, Germany, Austria, Hawaii, Alaska, and several in the contiguous USA as well.

What have we missed? The south of Africa and Antarctica. That’s about it.

For us, every day has been Valentine’s Day. So, we don’t make a big deal about February 14.

I don’t write glowing love stories about Valentine’s Day. Never have. The reason: in the 50-to-90 age range, there are many singles who have lost or don’t have a significant other and for them, Valentine’s Day can be a bit of a downer.

I don’t write about a dozen red roses here, a box of chocolates there, a romantic dinner in some five-star restaurant, or cuddling in front of a fireplace. How would stories like those make our lonely Champs feel? Empty. I don’t want to add to those feelings.

For many singles without a partner, Valentine’s Day can’t end soon enough.
I’m particularly sad today for many of our Champs. Geody’s husband Richard passed a few months ago. He was an incredible man–loved, admired, and respected in Dana Point—and she’s a rock. Strong as she can be. A hell of a trooper. She’s got wonderful children and grandchildren. You can’t find a finer person in the world than Geody. Great attitude.

For Champ Donna, a special education teacher, her mate Bob, who helped me when I was a columnist for the Orange County Register 20 years ago, passed late last year. She’s trying to heal and feel better. She’s an incredible woman as well. Greta was a Special Education teacher for 32 years. That profession requires a strong, caring, loving, and giving person, which Donna is. Valentine’s Day will be subdued this year for her.

Our neighbor, Mike, who lives a couple of blocks away in our community, entered my life in the 1990s. He and his wife Jane opened a UPS shipping business two blocks away from my deli. They were wonderful deli customers and salt-of-the-earth citizens as well.

Unbeknownst to Greta and me, Jane passed in September. One night after I had held a book signing, Greta and I were driving home. We saw Mike walking his Labrador Retriever. We stopped, and yelled, “How are you doing?”He was subdued and said, “Did you know that Jane passed away two weeks ago?”

Greta and I were stopped in our shoes. We didn’t know. He had tried to send me an email to notify me, but it had the wrong letters in the address, so I didn’t receive it.

Mike said, “Jane was my everything.” Greta and I were devasted by the news. We admired and loved her. She was a delightful person. Mike’s pain was evident. Valentine’s in 2022 will be hard for him.

We have a Champ named Terry. He’s normally funny. Not so this Valentine’s Day. His wife seems to be withdrawing. I feel bad for him.

And then there’s Jo, Greta’s daughter Tina’s mother-in-law. Jo’s a widow of fewer than two years—one of the kindest women I’ve ever met. Although she was still dealing with her loss last year when my brother passed away, she mailed me a hand-written condolence letter. It really moved me. Jo reminds me of my Mom.

Bruce, a high school classmate, and lifelong friend has been a widower for several years. He has chosen to remain single and focus on his grandchildren. This year the Super Bowl will have more meaning to him than the day after (Valentine’s). He’s lived in Cincinnati for years. The Bengals are in the big game.

Champs Sid and Les are having serious health issues that will make Valentine’s Day a bummer. These situations are a few reasons why I don’t write about how special Valentine’s Day is. However, to ensure you don’t think I’m a complete Valentine’s scrooge, here are two photos of a home in Dana Point that warms the hearts of Dana Point residents.

The owner loves Valentine’s Day, and it certainly shows.

Perhaps we should create a day–for the day after Valentine’s Day–and call it “Hope Day.” That would bring happiness to all of us. I love you Champs, more than you know. Link to Kris Kristofferson’s song, “Loving Her Was Easier”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzfBirQfabE

blue lantern valentine house — Dana Point California home

valentines blue lantern — The same Dana Point California home

Senior long-distance relationship

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter

January 28, 2022

2022 eNewsletter #4

by Tom Blake

Senior long-distance relationship: By overthinking her senior long-distance relationship, a single senior woman is jeopardizing it.

The perils of a senior long-distance relationship.

Last October (2021), a woman named Sharon emailed, “I have been in a long-distance relationship for 1 ½ years. I’m 66 and live in Georgia. My boyfriend is 68 and lives in California. We don’t seem to mind. Our love for each other will work out.

“However, he has some ‘issues.’ It’s too complicated to just send an email. Perhaps I can share with you over the phone? It won’t take but a 10-minute conversation.”

I responded, “The phone won’t work for me. I must have written proof of stories that people submit to me for possible use in my newspapers and weekly eNewsletters. I do not want to get into a situation where someone says to me, “That’s not what I told you over the phone.”

“So, in writing articles, I must have written documentation. Please feel free to email me regarding your situation; I’d love to hear what you have on your mind.

“Besides, if I talked on the phone to all the people who would like to chat about their situations, I wouldn’t have time to eat or sleep! Please understand. I hope you’ll write me.”

I didn’t hear back from her—until this January 16, 2022, when Sharon wrote: “We may have communicated before.”

I was surprised she didn’t remember contacting me just three months before. I remembered and I hear from nearly 1,000 people each month.

She wrote: “I have a boyfriend who lives in California, and I live in Georgia. We’ve had a long-distance relationship for 1.8 years.

“We love each other, and he is dragging his feet when it comes to moving forward with the relationship. He is not in a place in his life where he can do that.

“He thinks because of the distance and because I have kids and grandkids (who I’m close to), and because he doesn’t know what he’ll be doing after he sells his house, that the circumstances warrant a big problem for us.

“He doesn’t see how to ‘advance’ the relationship and has even put things on hold while he tries to complete architectural drafting, and building this home project he needs to do so he can sell his house and move on and enjoy his retirement.

“He still likes to travel and vacation with me and things are wonderful when we meet. He calls me twice a week, sends texts almost daily, and still sends me gifts.

“I just sent him a letter to let him know this situation of being in ‘limbo’ is not good for my mental or emotional health. I wrote that I was taking a month with no contact to pray and heal my emotions. I wonder what step to take next.

“I love this man and find it hard to concentrate on dating others, as he said he wouldn’t want to hold me back from a casual golf outing, etc., with a guy if I wanted to.”

I responded: I received your email Sunday, Jan 16. Yes, we communicated before on October 12 when you wanted to talk on the phone, and I explained to you why I didn’t want to do that (see the email above).

Questions: You’ve dated the CA guy for 1.8 years. How did you first meet? Online? Have you been together in person a few times? How many times for you to fall in love with him?

You wrote Sunday “He is not in a place in his life where he can do that,” meaning move the relationship forward.

You wrote to him saying being in “limbo” isn’t good for your emotional or mental health.

What do you want him to do? Who would move? Him to GA? Or, you to CA (away from your kids and grandkids).

Perhaps you should get on with your life and back off. Give him time to think. Yes, I know it is hard mentally but that appears to be your only option since you say he can’t move it forward at this stage.

How would you get together during this Covid pandemic? Hard to do when 3,000 miles apart.

A senior dating ultimatum

Sharon responded again: “I have given each of us some time ‘to process’ the relationship: One month no contact. I stated in my letter that I was happy and secure the first year. Communication was consistent, trips were planned every 2-3 months, etc.

“Since August, we haven’t made any concrete plans, and communication has trailed off, I have felt much less that I am even IN a relationship at all! I understand his project, and the stress he is under. I didn’t feel that his home-improvement project was a good enough reason to put our relationship on hold.

“I want to make sure he really FEELS the love and wants to continue our relationship. Not being able to and not wanting to are two different things. I sense a connection is being lost. We are already losing our connection physically. (Covid has nothing to do with our being away from each other, although he did get it one time).

“During the first year, even though there were all KINDS of hindrances to our seeing each other in person (flu, his sister’s death), I felt his steadfast love and care. Anyway, in a few weeks perhaps he will share his thoughts on the ‘no-contact’ period and what if any conclusions he came to during it. I am preparing myself either way. I wish I had given him a heads-up about the no-contact period, but I didn’t know any better.

“It never occurred to me. I basically made it about ME, that I needed time away to think, heal, etc… and that after the month was up, I welcome him to contact me. So, yes, there is the question of what he can do? He can include me in some things to show that I am still important in his life.

“My point was that life will always have ‘big projects’ and stressors, and we can put things on hold, but not people and relationships.

“P.S. If you are wondering where the question is in all this, it is: Who should call who after the no-contact period is up? What should he or I say? I didn’t give any ultimatums or ask any questions, just told him I was going to get some quiet to heal myself and my emotions and pray about God’s direction for my life.

“I made it clear that I was hoping he is the man God has for me and that we would pair our gifts together to be used for ‘His service’ so he should get a clear idea that this no-contact period was not meant to break us up or lead up to it.”

I responded again to Sharon: “Long-distance relationships are difficult, even more difficult during Covid. You and your ‘boyfriend’ have been together only four times in two years. Not enough time to know each other well enough to consider having one of you relocate across the country.

“When you emailed in October, you wrote, ‘We don’t seem to mind’ (Being apart). Apparently, you changed your mind by the time January rolled around.”

I didn’t hear from her again. Perhaps she was using the same no-contact-for-a-month ploy on me that she used on him.

Tom’s conclusion

She’s way over-thinking this relationship. Her self-imposed ‘no-contact’ month is a form of an ultimatum that may be the nail in the relationship coffin. With her excessive twaddle, she may have turned him off. Who should call? she asked. She should, of course. But he may not pick up the phone.

With all the details she wrote, it’s apparent that a phone call from her to me would have taken nearly an hour. That’s another reason why I don’t agree to have people telephone me. Now, if they want a paid consulting session, that’s another story, but she didn’t offer that.

Winter Dance Party – a quiz for seniors

Surf Ballroom poster announcing Buddy Holly Concert dated Feb. 2, 1959. The day the music died was Feb. 3

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter – January 7, 2022

2022 eNewsletter #1

Winter Dance Party – a Doo Wop Quiz for Seniors

Columnist Tom Blake

On Wednesday at about 6:30 a.m., I was sitting in front of my computer pondering what to write about in this week’s eNewsletter. The senior dating news from Champs has been a little slow with the uptick of the Omicron variance.

Events are being canceled and older singles are “sheltering in place,” trying to avoid getting Covid. Not to mention the horrendous weather that has hit the USA since Christmas. Dating and trying to meet a mate isn’t a top priority now.

I checked my inbox. I had an email from one of our most devoted Champs, Larry Leach, in Ann Arbor, Michigan. If his name and city sound familiar, it’s because Larry and his wife Bonnie have been featured or mentioned in our newsletter previously.

They’ve been married for 61+ years. Larry is a couple of years older than I, and was a classmate of my brother Bill in Jackson, Michigan, “a long, long time ago” (opening words to the song American Pie). Larry’s email subject line got my attention: Doo Wop Test.

The test included in his email has 30 multiple-choice trivia questions about the 1950s – 1970s music. And the email also stated: “Answers at the bottom, don’t cheat!” Larry wrote: “I got 9 of these 30 questions right. Give it a try.”

My curiosity took over. I’m pretty darn good at identifying oldies songs from the 1950s – 1970s. The test that Larry sent was taken from the St. Louis Park School (Minnesota) Class of 1958 website (link listed below). With a cup of morning coffee on my desk, I decided to take the “Doo Wop” Test. I grabbed a pen and a blank sheet of paper to write down my answers.

It was fun and boy did the questions bring back memories. They will probably bring back memories for many of you as well. So, I decided to include the test in today’s edition. I hope today’s eNewsletter doesn’t bore our younger (70 and below) Champs.

My brother Bill loved music. His love of music rubbed off on me. I’m an oldies nut. I remember listening on the radio on Saturday mornings, often with brother Bill, to the Marty McNeeley Morning Music Hall Show on WJR, Detroit, which was a top-10 countdown program.

Plus, McNeeley would play new songs on the show that had just come out. I heard a new song previewed one morning. Bill hadn’t been listening. I walked into his room and said, “I just heard a song that I predict is going to be a huge hit.” Bill said, “Who sings it?” I said, “A guy named Elvis Presley.” What’s the name of the song?” “Heartbreak Hotel.” I was right; it went quickly to the top of the charts.

Sometimes, Greta plays YouTube music and I nail most of the 50s, 60s, and 70s on the first couple of notes. For example, Tuesday night, I drove her crazy identifying songs. Included were: Heart of Gold – Neil Young. Turn The Page – Bob Seger. Carol – Paul Anka. American Pie – Don McClean (see postcard above). Sweet Caroline – Neil Diamond. Bolero – Andre Rieu Orchestra.

Speaking of oldies history, one of the first radio stations in the states to play Bill Haley and His Comets’ “Rock Around the Clock” was WIBM in Jackson, Michigan. The overnight D.J. used it as his theme song before it became popular. That’s the same station where Jack Parr got his start.

I got to see Bill Haley in person perform that song at the Atlanta Underground in 1968.You can take the test in one of two ways. By scrolling down this page. All of the questions and answers are listed here.Or, just click on the link. Again, the test that Larry sent was taken from the St. Louis Park School (Minnesota) Class of 1958 (Minnesota) website, so credit to them.

Here is the link:https://www.classcreator.com/St-Louis-Park-MN-St-Louis-Park-Sr-1958/Doo-Wop-Trivia-Quiz.htm

Remember, just scroll down, don’t sneak a peek at the answers until the end. Count your tally. If you wish, let me know how you did. I share my score at the end of today’s eNewsletter.

Here are the first 3 Doo Wop questions and the answers follow:
1. When did ”Little Suzie” finally wake up?
(a) The movie’s over, it’s 2 o’clock
(b) The movie’s over, it’s 3 o’clock
(c) The movie’s over, it’s 4 o’clock

2. ”Rock Around The Clock” was used in what movie?
(a) Rebel Without A Cause
(b) Blackboard Jungle
(c) The Wild Ones

3. What’s missing from a Rock & Roll standpoint?
Earth _____(a) Angel(b) Mother(c) Worm

Answers to the first three questions :
1. (c) The movie’s over, it’s 4 o’clock
2. (b) Blackboard Jungle
3. (a) Angel
I missed the first question, “What time did little Susie wake up?” But, I nailed 25 of the 30, which included a couple of lucky guesses. How did you score on the test?