“Hello, I’m Johnny Cash”


Stage for Segerstrom Center For The Performing Arts September 21, 2024. Big screen behind stage and band in forefront. Photo courtesy of Segerstrom Center for The Performing Arts
vs newport album cover

Tom and Johnny 1975 in front of Victoria Station Restaurant, Newport Beach, California with Johnny wearing his famous jeans jacket with train logos on it(Photo by Tom Blake)

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter
January 26, 2024
Hello I’m Johnny Cash”
By Columnist Tom Blake 
             ”Hello, I’m Johnny Cash” 

Anyone who has attended a Johnny Cash concert or seen a video of him performing recognizes his introductory words, “Hello, I’m Johnny Cash.” 

I heard him say that in person more than 25 times. The most indelible time was inside the walls of San Quentin Prison. I was seated in front of the makeshift stage in row one of the prisoners’ cafeteria, where concerts were held. Approximately 500 unruly and unshackled prisoners were seated nearby. Armed guards with loaded rifles walked on the catwalk 10 feet overhead. 

When Johnny walked to the microphone and said, “Hello, I’m Johnny Cash,” the prisoners nearly rioted with joy and yelling. A prisoner seated next to me gently poked me in the ribs and asked, “Who the hell are you?” 

I mumbled, “A friend of Johnny’s.” 

Most Champs know I worked with Johnny Cash for two years in the mid-1970s. I remained friends with Johnny and his wife June Carter until they sadly passed away in 2003. 

I’ve known and remained friends with Rosanne Cash, Johnny’s daughter, for 47 years. I attempt to meet with her backstage whenever she performs in Southern California. Last September, Champ Mike joined me backstage at Chapman University; he was thrilled to meet Rosanne. (See the picture below of Mike S. and Rosanne) 

A few weeks ago, Champ Dee sent me an alert that The 2023-24 Johnny Cash The Official Concert Experience international tour was appearing on January 21 at the Segerstrom Center For The Arts in nearby Costa Mesa. I thought, maybe I’ll go. Shortly thereafter, Susie Lopez, a Communications Specialist for the Segerstrom Center, contacted me and asked if I’d be willing to attend the event and possibly share the experience with my readers.

Susie said, “This wonderfully nostalgic experience will bring songs and stories to the stage in a special way the audiences have never seen or heard before.” Susie’s words piqued my interest. She continued, “With a video of Johnny from episodes of The Johhny Cash TV Show projected on a screen above the stage, a live band and singers will accompany him in perfect sync.” That description did it for me. I accepted Susie’s invitation.

(There is a link below to the production company website. Highly recommended and informative.) 

I asked how she knew that I had known Johnny Cash. She said she had seen the article I wrote for the three South Orange County newspapers (and for this eNewsletter) in September about Champs Jim, Debbie and I attending a Johnny Cash tribute band concert at The Coach House in Dana Point CA. 

At this week’s show, Champs Jim, Dee, Wayne, and Nancy stopped by our seats to chat with Debbie and me. It was kind of a senior dating night at Segerstrom. Perhaps some other Champs were there as well. The show was awesome. 

During the show, I was nostalgic — reflecting on how fortunate I was to have known Johnny and June — but also how blessed I’ve been throughout my life.

When Johnny sang Kris Kristofferson’s song, “Sunday Morning Coming Down,” on the big screen behind the stage, I about lost it. Johnny had dedicated that song to me in the Sahara Tahoe Resort Hotel ballroom in front of 2,000 people in 1975. 

At last Sunday’s concert, one band member triggered my memories: The lead guitarist. Not a man–mind you– but a woman named Debbie Horton. She is the only woman who ever played lead guitar for Johnny. She made me think of Mother Maybelle Carter, June’s mother, who was known for the song “Wildwood Flower.”

Debbie Horton knew every song and always smiled during the concert. I reached out to her by email on Monday morning; she answered immediately. We connected through the common bond of Johnny Cash.

Debbie responded: “It was WONDERFUL to hear from you! I loved how Johnny went back into the studio and recorded the old Sun Records songs with so much energy.  “I try my best to play the guitar parts note-by-note and not add or take away. I kind of do a mix of Luther (Perkins) and Bob (Wooten) – depending on the song. Hearing from people who really appreciate what I’m doing means the world to me – and you know what it’s supposed to sound like!” 

And then she commented about senior dating: “I lost my husband in 2017 and ‘senior dating’ has its own challenges. I’d like to hear your views on that too.” 

So, Debbie Horton will become a Champ, at least to read this article, and maybe to continue receiving the eNewsletter as she is a widow. She lives in Nashville. Her website is listed below. 

   What three women and one man Champs said about the show

I asked our woman Champs who attended the show for their impressions. Nancy said, “Before the Segerstrom Show, I hadn’t thought that Johnny Cash was as much of a poet as a lyricist — much in the tradition of Bob Dylan. I enjoyed the opportunity to dig deeper into Johnny’s words.” 

Tom’s response to Nancy: “Johnny and Bob Dylan became friends. They performed an unforgettable duet when they sang, ‘Girl From The North Country,’ which was featured in the movie, The Bridges of Madison County and is on the Dylan album, Nashville Skyline. They were so out of sync, they sounded fabulous together with those incredible and powerful voices. 

I’ve known Champ Dee for seven years. She attended the singles events at my Dana Point deli. I told her back then that she reminded me of June Carter Cash. Dee emailed Monday, the morning after the show, and mentioned my June Carter look-alike comment from years before: “I kept thinking about your comparison when video/audio clips of June came on the big screen last night, and yes, I can see the similarity connection. I am highly flattered.” 

She added, “The main observation from last night was I had no idea how important Johnny’s voice was. I remember watching his show a few times when I was a very young child, which is probably why I didn’t understand the impact that he was making and was so moved by seeing it from the perspective of not only the band but also the moments of his son John Carter Cash talking on the big screen. 

“I am tremendously grateful for having the opportunity to have attended last night, which came about because I opened your eNewsletter, thought how fun, reached out to Jim, and logged into my account at the Segerstrom to buy the tickets! Small series of events that led to one extremely memorable evening for me.” 

Comment from Tom: “Regarding Johnny’s voice, June often teased him by calling him Old Golden Throat. I heard her say that multiple times. 

My friend Debbie said, “What struck me the most was Johnny’s understanding of truth. Even more than that was we all have options or choices. He chose love over hate. I’ve often said that we don’t have control over situations, but rather we have choices about how we react to situations and about our attitude toward self, others, and life. I think Johnny Cash would agree. 

“And I loved Johnny’s song, Man in Black. He had incredible empathy for the downtrodden. For example, his song words, ‘I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down…I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime. But is there because he’s a victim of the times…’ 

“You, Tom, witnessed that live in San Quentin Prison. “(Link to song Man in Black below)

Champ Wayne said, “I enjoyed the combination of clips of his TV show, live band, and singers performances and Johnny’s son’s commentary of a musical icon.” 

So, Champs, as you might suspect, this concert at the Segerstrom touched me deeply. I’ve enjoyed sharing the experience. You are all special to me. There are 3 links below:

(1) Lead guitarist Debbie Horton’s website
(2) Johnny singing Man In Black
(3) The 2023-24 Johnny Cash The Official Concert Experience 
www.debbiehorton.com 

 Link to Man In Black

Johnny Cash Concert Experience website 
Champ Mike S. and Rosanne Cash Sept, 14 2023
Photo by Tom Blake
vs mia parking lot 1975
June, John Carter (held by Johnny), Tom 1975 Miami Victoria Station parking lot (Note that Johnny is dressed in white) (Photo by Tom Blake)
Dee Tom and Debbie at the Concert (below)

Gummies vs. Alcohol

NL #3 JAN 19, 2024,

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter

By Columnist Tom Blake

From This Week’s Mailbag:

Darla messaged me on Google: “Subject: long-distance dating. I was fortunate to find your Finding Love After 50 website while I was looking for some much-needed advice on long-distance dating. I would love to be educated on what should feel good and what doesn’t.

“My love story has brought many new questions about what I’m used to in the world of dating. I question if it’s the different states he and I live in or the lifestyles we have lived. Can these things change a man and a woman that much over the years?

“Please tell me if I need to say more. I’m a Minnesota woman dating a California guy I met in a Minnesota small-town café while waitressing in the summer of 1979. Sadly, back then we said our goodbyes. Forty years later he finds me.

“Old chemistry remains, but we are two very different people now. I’m hoping my questions are the same as many other single people out there have who are trying to make a relationship work.  

Tom’s comment: Sometimes I receive comments from readers on Messenger. I always respond and provide the person with my email address, which I did with Darla. I told her I needed more information to give her a helpful answer.

And as often happens on Messenger, I get no response. This happened with Darla. A long-distance relationship between Minnesota and California must be difficult. How often would people see each other? Who would be willing to move? After 45 years of not seeing each other, does the “old chemistry” really remain? We may never know.

Francine emailed, “I’m still on the dating sites. One guy wanted to meet me but gave me a difficult time in arranging it. Then he said let’s talk on the phone. Okay, I said, how about Tuesday at 6 p.m?

“He said, “Would you text me at 5 p.m. to remind me?” Ha, that’s a red flag.

“I vaguely thought I knew him from the past. It nagged at me, so I got up at 1 a.m. and looked at my phone contacts with his name and number and sure enough I did know him from a few years ago. I remembered why I never met him in person. He was a pain in the rear … lazy guy. I wrote to him and said, ‘I told you from the beginning I thought I knew you.’ I’m hardly every wrong!”

Army chimed in, “From a never-been-married man, who has been told that I’m a nice guy but … then the women move back to dating guys who cheat on them or are verbally, physically, or both, abusive to them. Then, they wonder why they always get the losers?

“I say, ‘Stop and think, these are the people you chose. You don’t think about the nice guys you left.

“I forget the percentage of people who have never been married, but the last time I looked, I thought it was surprisingly high.” 

Gummies vs. Alcohol

A woman Champ who requested to remain anonymous,wrote: “I still work, so I don’t drink alcohol during the week. However, come Friday and Saturday, I like nothing more than opening a bottle of Chardonnay and enjoying it while I am making dinner. If I do go out, I will have two or three glasses of wine. If more than two, I won’t drive.

“I see my boyfriend of almost four years on weekends only. We live about 30 miles apart, So, when he sees me and comes over, I usually have some wine open. I never drink to get drunk or stupid silly, it’s just for enjoyment and a reward from working hard all week, taking care of the home, paying bills, doing chores, etc. 

“It helps take the ‘edge’ off.  He would rather that I don’t drink at all as he does not. (There was a time he drank too much, stopped about 15 years ago, cold turkey, never went to an AA meeting in his life). Just stopped. 

“However, he does like to smoke pot on occasion and do cannabis-infused gummies. I must say the gummies are loads of fun and together we have a great time when doing them. We dance, we laugh, tell silly stories, etc.

“The problem is I still prefer my Chardonnay over the gummies. He would rather me stop drinking alcohol and just take the gummies. He swears they are way better for you than alcohol. So, we argue about that: Gummies vs. Alcohol. What do your champs think about that?

“Do relationships work when one drinks (socially) and the other does not drink at all?

He and I will probably never move in together; he likes his home, I like mine and sometimes I think if we did live with one another, that might cause problems for us, so I guess we will continue to be together and live apart.

Tom’s comment. I’ve never written on your topic. It will be interesting to hear what Champs say. I will add this: Do not drive even after one glass of wine, and certainly not after two glasses or more. Not only do you endanger yourself and other people, but a DUI in California will cost approximately $20,000. Your driver’s license will be suspending, you will have to attend six months of school, and an interlock device and breath analyzer will be installed on your car. Simply not worth it.

I hope Champs respond to this woman’s question.

Single woman Champ in Dana Point is still seeking a roommate

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that two women Champs were seeking roommates in South Orange County, California. One of the women, from Dana Point, is still looking. I saw her last week; she mentioned she’s still hoping to find a nice woman roommate, but doesn’t want a person who works from home. She is a delightful woman and has a very nice home.

If interested, email me at tompblake@gmail.com and I will forward your information to her.

Responses to Multiple Marriages


On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter
January 12, 2024
Responses to Multiple Marriages Column last week
By Columnist Tom Blake 
wedding ring
Multiple Marriages in Later Life?
(photo by Tom Blake)
Responses to last week’s Multiple Marriages

In reviewing the responses from Champs to last week’s eNewsletter, “Do Multiple Marriages Matter?”, I came upon an article on the UPI News website that surprised me. Before sharing that with you, here are nine responses to last week’s eNewsletter. 

Eileen emailed, “My wonderful late husband, who was my second, had been married twice before, making me number three. We had 26 great years together and I always say, ‘I’m the one who made him happy.’” 

Deanne: “I think there can be too many marriages. Sometimes we have bad luck and not much experience and that could count for (#1). Death could count for (#2). I married a murderer could count for (#3). I don’t know what others think but five or more do not motivate me.

“One of my meetup dates asked me why I answered his messages when he had been married three times already. I told him I was rolling the dice and didn’t have much to lose. He had no sense of humor, and I had my answer to the three previous marriages. Only one date and I paid for my meal.”

Laurie Jo: “Marriage is a serious commitment. I chose to divorce after 29 years. I will never marry again because I don’t want to ever go through divorce again. It was horrible. “If somebody had married twice, I’d be ok with it. 

Anything over that? No. Marriage is an agreement and even as I’ve reached my senior years if somebody has been married over two times I am out. It means the person has no sense of commitment, or it means that person was a bad “picker.” 

Sandy, “There is no need to be scared off by the number – until you investigate the circumstances. Caveat: Eight would still cause me to take a breath.”  

Bruce, “Any number over three would be a red flag for me unless they had all passed away somehow.”
Chris (woman) “While I’ve been dating for a few months, I’ve met two gentlemen who have never been married and have no children. As a woman who was married once for 25 years, I find this curious. “Both men said they had relationships, but they never developed into marriage. What do you think of this kind of man? I’m not interested in marriage again, but it makes me think they aren’t capable of a commitment either.” 

Linda, “I think the number of marriages or serious relationships can matter because if you have been married seven times, these have not been long relationships. It hints that a person may be difficult to get along with.” 

Carol, “I would be concerned after three times, my personal number. It’s funny that it doesn’t seem to matter how many companions a person has had, but the legal partner? Then it comes down to personal judgment. 

“To me at this magical age, I’d be more concerned If I met a man who could put his entire life into a black trash bag, eager to move in with me, that would trigger every red flag bell and whistle. There are people out there ready at a moment’s notice who bring their toothbrush on the first date! 

“That’s fine when you are young–first starting out in life–but if you look the exact same at this end as you did in the beginning, learning that you have done nothing with your life, and you live from one social security check to the next, I might enjoy a conversation, but certainly nothing more.” 

Claire, “This subject made me think of my 2nd marriage to Larry. My first marriage lasted 22 years. Larry had been married 4 times when I met him. 

“After three years together, we married against my better judgement, I was crazy in love with him but I had seen the red flags about his not being a good bet for the ‘long haul.’ 

“I was his fourth wife, fifth marriage…he married the second wife twice. Larry came into my life at a time when my teenage son was giving me a lot of problems. He stepped up to meet the challenge and my children in turn loved him! 

“After 7 years together though, I caught him with another woman and his affair ended things. We had seven beautiful years together and I do not regret them – just the last six months that I knew something was wrong. He passed away in 2017. He was the love of my life! 

“So, my theory on this was that Larry was sent to me at the right time of my life for a reason…for a season BUT not forever. It ended badly but I am always grateful for the years he loved both me and my children. I have never loved another man like I loved Larry and probably never will.” 

    Senior men, be careful dating women in foreign countries 

In reviewing the above responses from Champs, I came upon an article on MSN.com, a UPI News article regarding marriage in South Korea. It was titled, “South Korea’s gender imbalance is bad news for men – outnumbering women, many face bleak marriage prospects,” written by Dudley L. Poston Jr., a Professor of Sociology, at Texas A&M University. It sounded like the opposite situation of what single senior 70-plus women face in the USA, a ratio of between four to seven to one single women to single men. 

Poston wrote, “South Korea’s bachelor time bomb is about to really go off. Following a historic 30-year-long imbalance in the male-to-female sex ratio at birth, young men far outnumber young women in the country. As a result, some 700,000 to 800,000 ‘extra’ South Korean boys born in the mid-1980s may not be able to find South Korean girls to marry.” 

Poston added, “…similar trends are playing out in China, Taiwan, and India.” In our December 15 eNewsletter, Brutus Buckeye, a male Champ we featured, stated that he had little success finding an American woman to date. Brutus concluded his comments with, “And this is a joke, don’t take it seriously, but I may have to go overseas for a nice foreign lady!” 

Here’s my comment on Brutus’s last sentence: We have three men Champs, each of whom I know personally, who did what Brutus jokingly stated. They went overseas and married women from foreign countries. All three of the women ended up divorcing those men and made the men’s lives miserable, so you senior single men who might be pondering that strategy, rethink it.

There is a shortage of single women in South Korea, Taiwan, and India. Probably, in other countries as well.

However, there are plenty of fine single, senior women in the USA and Canada, and within our Champs’ group, who would make ideal mates. Why not try a little harder to meet one?

Do Multiple Marriages Matter?



On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter
January 5, 2024
Do Multiple Marriages Matter?
By Columnist Tom Blake 

2024 Column One  

In senior dating, does the number of marriages matter? 

In November 2009, I wrote a column titled, “Should multiple senior dating marriages matter when seeking a mate?” 

I wrote on that topic because a woman named Marjorie had emailed, “I met ‘William’ two weeks ago at a musical theatre performance. I’m 63, he is 66. 

“We’ve both been married before, but neither has been widowed. Should the number of marriages matter to either of us? How many marriages before it becomes a red flag?” 

She added that she had been married three times, but William had dodged the question although he told her his most recent marriage had been short-lived and bitter. Marjorie and William had been on only two dates. I replied to Marjorie: “Egad, woman, give it some time! If you press the ‘How many times married’ issue, you may chase him away before you find out how many times he’s been married. Since he’s reeling from a recent bitter marriage experience, the last thing he may want to do is defend himself or talk about it.

“Instead, why not enjoy the moment and forget about his marriage tally? It is not uncommon these days (reminder, this was in 2009) for people our age to have had more than one marriage. Does that make us tainted? Does that mean we’re bad people? No. 

“I’ve had three marriages, and my partner Greta of 11 years (remember this was written in 2009) had three also. Having the same number of marriages was one of the things we had in common when sharing information on the first date, so it was a good thing we both had multiple marriages. 

“And now that we are SLT (seniors living together) we’ve got the best relationship I could ever hope for. Neither of us wants marriage. Neither of us would want the number four emblazoned in scarlet upon our chests, but that’s not the reason we haven’t married.” 

           2024 Update on How Many Marriages 

And so, here we are, 14 years later, with the first eNewsletter of 2024 looking again at the How Many Marriages issue in senior dating. Does the number of marriages a potential partner had matter? Not really, but at Marjorie’s age now, 77, assuming she’s still on this earth, I wonder if this question still puzzles her? I’ve lost track of her so I can’t ask her. Plus, I wonder if she and William had or have a relationship now. 

Here are my thoughts on “Does the number of marriages matter in 2024?” Right off the top, I say hell no. However, if the number exceeds four, or the number is zero, I think the couple needs to discuss the whys and why not of the marriage number. Just to understand what happened. 

Last year, a few months after Greta passed away, I decided my life would be more fulfilling if I had a woman partner in it. So, I started dating. The number of marriages a potential mate had didn’t matter. So, I thought. 

The first woman of interest had been married five times. But that didn’t matter to me. I had known her for years and she had many fine qualities. But she very quickly moved on. It wasn’t the number of marriages either one had, it was most likely the age difference. I was merely 23-years-older. 

Another woman of interest was a widow. Her husband was 25 years older. I didn’t know if he had been her only husband until one night when we were enjoying an adult beverage, I asked her if it mattered that I had been married three times. She said no. 

I said, “How about you? She said, “Seven.” I responded, “You’ve been married seven times?” She became irked with my question and that was our final date. She had had enough of me, and I was scared to continue dating her. There were other reasons why we didn’t go out again as well. 

And then my friend Jim Fallon and I met an attractive woman in the parking lot of a restaurant where we’d just had breakfast. We had seen her sitting by herself and had waved at her and she waved back. When she walked past us outside, we said hello and told her we were both single men who had lost our partners in 2022. She said she was widowed after 11 years of marriage. She said she was in her early 60s.

She and I had one date, but she didn’t want to get involved. When Jim and I saw her at breakfast at the same restaurant three months later, we asked her to join us to chat for a few minutes. The topic of the number of previous marriages came up.

I asked her if she had been married more than once. She nodded yes. I held up two fingers. She said no. Three fingers. She said no. Four fingers, no. Five fingers, no. Six fingers, yes (finally). Jim and I were dumbfounded. Her answer surprised us. She had been married six times.

She was such a soft-spoken, seemingly confident, and shy person. We didn’t ask for details, and she wasn’t about to offer them. 

Does the number of times a person has been married at our senior age in 2024 matter? Not as much as in 2009.

However, I will say this. Most singles 75-plus don’t want to remarry but most of them would relish a nice relationship, regardless of the number of times a potential new partner was married. Just don’t tell me married eight times. My heart probably couldn’t handle that number.