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| Champ Sharon Likes Guinness and Ireland |
| On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter September 6, 2024 Single Singles Be Assertive By Columnist Tom Blake |
| Sharon (from Pennsylvania) wrote, “I sure am glad you continue writing because I enjoy hearing from you every Friday and yes you are blessed with the gift of writing. I love how your wonderful, fun, and upbeat personality comes across in some way within every writing! “I agree that we Champs need to get out there and socialize. You and I exchanged emails two or three years ago and you encouraged me then on ways to meet someone. “I am always keeping the thought of meeting a truly nice, humorous, and fun guy in my mind as I go about my days. I met a man at a classmate’s funeral. He asked if the seat beside me was taken and I said no. I liked him instantly and we talked and found out we attended the same school; he was a year behind me. He also had known my Dad. “He asked me if I was married and I said no; he said he wasn’t either. After the funeral, he asked me if I wanted to walk at a local park. I did, we communicated well, and he held my hand as we walked around the park. We even kissed and I was starting to think wow I can’t believe I am meeting this man. “Then he was honest with me and said he lives with a woman, my heart sank. He wanted to see me again and I said ‘No, it sounds like you already have a girlfriend!’ So much for that! “I keep busy taking care of my house inside and out. I am meticulously fussy with keeping everything neat and have had several men stop and talk while I was outside. One even told me his wife passed away last year and that he was taking a trip out West, but I haven’t seen him walking since. “I play pickleball or work out at Spooky Nook Sports (A sports complex in Lancaster County, PA) most days. And I attend a class breakfast and a retirement lunch each month. Plus, I go to all three of my grandsons’ sports events every chance I get, and the normal store jaunts and church on Sunday. “I’ve had no luck meeting anyone, I am beginning to think good men are hard to find and think I should just be happy with my own company. Maybe people are more friendly in California than in Pennsylvania!” Tom’s response to Sharon Sharon, Thank you for your kind comments. To me, Champs are trusted friends. I call them privately ‘Tom Blake’s Senior Champs’. Or Tom’s Champs for short. Hence, I am comfortable being open, honest, and comfortable with all of you. Most single Champs, both men and women, would like to meet a nice, humorous, and fun potential mate. Besides those three important characteristics, many Champs (women and men) tell me that senior physical attraction is at or near the top of their characteristics-wanted list. And I am one of them. The guy you met at the funeral was a snake. He asked if you were married and you said no. Then, he responded that he wasn’t married either, inferring he was unattached. He held your hand and kissed you. Wow, that is physical attraction right off the bat. I don’t blame you for feeling uplifted at that moment. Instant chemistry is the stuff that dreams are made of. You said he was honest with you. I think you mean, honest after he acted like he cared for you. He held your hand, kissed you, and later confessed he lives with a woman. He was a dorkster (a term not recognized in the English language but one that my favorite brother-in-law uses often). I imagine that every Champ who reads today’s eNewsletter would have had their heart sink as well under those circumstances. It was the old bait-and-switch method. And you did the right thing by saying no, you would not see him while he is living with a woman. Regarding the guy who walks by your house whose wife has passed away, if you are attracted to him, the next time you see him, invite him over for coffee or a bite to eat. And check out the other men who walk past. If you don’t see a wedding ring or a woman holding onto their arm, ask them casually if they are single. Be assertive, not aggressive. If you suspect a man is single, and you find him appealing, suggest you get together. Continue doing the things you currently do outside: attending the grandkids’ events, pickleball, luncheons, breakfasts, store jaunts, and church. Those are so critical. It increases your chances of meeting a potential mate, but being active and keeping your body moving is good for your health. Remember, it only takes one person. Continue trying to meet someone in your city. That beats the heck out of online dating. Remember, be friendly and always smile. Don’t be afraid to ask questions of the men you see and their status. You might try online dating in the future, but it’s a whole new endeavor. And yes, good men are hard to find. But they are out there. And for men, compatible women are hard to find. Yes, the ratio of single women to single men puts men at an advantage. But neither women nor men should give up hope. Keep searching. Pursue every opportunity. We just never know when fate or a higher power will step in to help us. Yes, be happy with your own company, but don’t stop trying to meet someone. As Fleetwood Mac sang in their song, “Don’t Stop”: “Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow”Don’t stop, it’ll soon be here”It’ll be better than before”Yesterday’s gone, yesterday’s gone” (song link below) Are men in California friendlier than in Pennsylvania? Probably not, there just are more of them. But, of course, there are more women in California too, so that evens out with the great state of PA. Please keep us posted. Champs tell me they want to hear about the journeys other Champs are experiencing. I wish you well. And if any Champ would like to contact Sharon, let me know. I will put you in touch with her. Link to Fleetwood Mac song, Don’t Stop: Bing Videos |
On Life and Love after 50 