More comments about animals and senior love
On Love And Love After 50 eNewsletter
by Columnist Tom Blake
September 1, 2023
LJJ, a woman Champ said, “I don’t like dogs. They are sycophants (try to please people) and I’m glad others like them, but they are not for me. I’m ok with cats, if the cats stay off countertops, but you know they go there when we aren’t watching.
“I have a horse. He’s kind. He loves anybody. He’s non-reactive. He listens to me when I ride and he tries very hard to do what I ask him.
“I also have a parakeet. Who also loves anybody. He, however, likes to flap his wings and stuff goes all over. So he’s not allowed on counters here.
“I guess as we age, we get more set in our ways. And this factor could influence dating in our age group.
“If a pet is well-behaved, clean, groomed, and pleasant, I’m fine with that.
But I have dated men in the past that have dogs that get the run of the house, butt scooting, licking, etc. Ugh.
“But that’s how I feel. Not judging if someone else thinks that’s ok. It’s just that I personally don’t want to deal with that.”
Rick, “After my divorce, my ex-wife took two of my greatest loves away from me. Not only did she get custody of my two young kids (for a while), but my two dogs that I considered my other two kids!
“Thank God, she left me with a young pig we had given our boys as a gift, and this animal was so full of love, affection, and appreciation for his dad (me) that I couldn’t believe it.
“I had BRILLIANT dogs. My domestic pig, Rocky, was so amazing that he became my awesome friend. He was housebroken within 3 days, and when he was hungry, he would bring me his dish and sit up, asking for dinner. I never taught him that.
“He slept next to me and when the alarm would go off in the morning, he would kiss my face to make sure I awakened.
“He brought me my slippers, newspaper, and laid by my side as long as I was home. His intelligence level was so superior to my dogs that it was hard to believe, but I saw it and loved him for 8 years. When he died, I felt I had lost the rest of my world.”
Christine Baumgartner, a Champ and relationship coach, said, “I’ve heard this challenge from both men and women about their potential dates as well as their partners. They complain they don’t get as much love and attention from humans as they get from their pets. One of the questions I ask them is, ‘Do you give your human companions the same amount of love and affection you give to your pets?’ If they’re honest they admit the answer is often no.’
“So, I suggest for a month to concentrate on giving the same amount (or even more) attention to their partner and see what happens. It’s been fun to see how many human relationships can be turned into happier ones with this change.
“It’s, of course, important to confirm the type of attention your partner enjoys and makes them feel cared about and loved and do exactly that (even if it’s not the way you feel cared about). It’s often more than a pat on the head or a belly rub like your pet.
“And I’ve found when one person makes this effort the other person starts giving more back.”
FF said, “I find more men have dogs today and bring them everywhere. I don’t like that. I used to have dogs and a cat for 17 years. Loved my cat. Now, I’m a ‘pet-free’ dating woman. It ties you down….
Thyrza emailed, “My guy friend, has ambivalent feelings about dogs. But I am not dating a dog.”
Kim, “When I meet a woman who loves dogs more than people, I think she is governing a fiefdom! In fact, I go as far as to think she is a controller. A major red flag for me. thanks for putting that out there and someone said if you want to know who you resemble, look at the crowd around you! Peace.”
John, “I have a dog and so far he’s been a plus in dating. Then again, I am an animal lover, so I tend to gravitate towards women who have pets.”
Rick, “I agree with the positive role pets can play, as one tries to rebuild their lives after they are left without a man or woman. This is how my animals saved me.
“When my wife of 18 years decided to get a boyfriend, and she managed to get an unfair amount of custody of my two young sons, it broke my heart. I got to see my sons only once every two weeks.
“My two Shelties and my amazingly brilliant domestic pig, Rocky, were there for me every day, and all three were awesome at being my best friends for several years and were probably responsible for me not losing my mental sanity.
“It’s not just women who, while suffering from a devastating breakup, have awesome support, love and great companionship from their ‘four-footed children.’ My pets showed me their love every day and saved my life at its lowest moments.
“Both sexes can be extremely attached to their pet ‘children.’”
Angie said, “Now I have a female dog named Jack (picture of Jack and Angie above) that my was-band (former husband) and I got together, and we let her sleep in the bed. Long story short I think I’m going to be single until the dog passes away.
Currently, “I live in Steamboat Springs Colorado. I hope to travel soon and maybe find a less expensive place to live.
“I doubt if I can train her to sleep elsewhere. She’s seven and has never known anything different, she’s quiet and doesn’t move.
“I ended the relationship- just easier alone.”
Tom’s conclusion: Animals, especially dogs, have a huge influence on senior dating and senior happiness. Next week, we will change to a new senior dating topic. Which one? I don’t know, we will see what the mailbag receives.
Have a great and safe holiday weekend.
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