On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter – April 26, 2024
by Columnist Tom Blake
Tom Blake Senior Dating Expert
The first mention I noticed of my name in the same sentence as “The Golden Bachelor” was in an email on February 9, 2024. Champ Victoria wrote, “…I was going to suggest you’d make a good Golden Bachelor. I heard they’re looking. LOL!”
I responded to Victoria: “Me? A good Golden Bachelor? Maybe I will do a column on why I won’t become a Golden Bachelor. I’ll give you credit for suggesting it. Among the many fun reasons I won’t become a GB is that it would mean another marriage for me, and three previous marriages are enough.
Most of us know that Gerry Turner, age 72, this year’s Golden Bachelor, proposed on November 30, 2023, to Theresa Nist,70, the woman he selected out of the 22 women who appeared on the show. Turner and Nist married in a televised wedding ceremony on January 4, 2024, in La Quinta, California.
And then, in an article written by Anita Gosch, a columnist for The Orange County Register, that was published on February 15, 2024, Gosch wrote, referring to me, “No, he’s not a new Golden Bachelor.” (I didn’t contact Gosch to ask why she said I wasn’t the next Golden Bachelor).
We all know what happened. The Turner/Nist marriage lasted three months. On April 12, they announced on Good Morning America that they were getting a divorce. A few Champs asked for my opinion on the Golden Bachelor scenario—from the first episode to the finale–and one Champ asked if I ever considered applying to be the next Golden Bachelor.
These are 9 reasons why I won’t be the next Golden Bachelor
1. They won’t ask me
2. I only watched parts of the first segment. I felt it wasn’t realistic, and was “too made for television.” I thought it suggested that dating at 70+ was easy and glamourous when Champs know damn well that dating even at 60+ isn’t easy; it’s challenging and can be very discouraging
3. I didn’t think the show was fair to women. At Nist’s age, 70, the ratio of single women to single men is approximately five-to-one. Women often tell me that not all the men in that ratio are relationship material, making the effective ratio upwards of six-to-one.
The Golden Bachelor ratio was 22 women, to one man. It’s like the lotto. Why is there only one winner of several million bucks or over a billion? Why aren’t there multiple lotto winners? Why, in the Golden Bachelor, can’t there be five women winners instead of just one?
4. Age and Energy. At my age, 84, I barely have the energy to get through the day. I can’t imagine having to decide which one of the 22 women would be the best match for me. My problem is I’d probably like them all.
To make matters worse, filming and dating times might be in the middle of the day, infringing on my nap time. Can you imagine trying to impress a senior woman on a first date and dozing off while sipping coffee or tea? That reminds me of some scenes we see on live TV these days. People dozing off.
5. And what about doctor’s appointments? Many seniors have a plethora of appointments on their calendars. Some medical appointments they’ve had to book months in advance. What would a woman do? Reschedule an important medical appointment only to be dumped by some “made-for-television dude?”
6. Gerry and Theresa’s marriage lasted three months. Did that surprise me? No, they didn’t know each other long enough to make such a monumental decision. Egad, wait at least a year before tying the knot. A two-year wait is even better.
The dilemma for people in their 70s and 80s, we don’t have the time to wait. So why not just enjoy each other and make the best of the time we have left without getting married?
It makes one wonder if their Golden Bachelor marriage was done for the sake of television, a part of the sign-on contract. Words like these (made up solely by me): “Gerry, and whomever you choose, must agree to get married, and allow us to put the marriage on live TV. You will be paid an extra $100,000 each.”
7. Most Champs know LDRs (Long Distance Relationships) are difficult. Ask Champs Gail (Bishop, CA) and Bruce (Lima, Ohio) who live in small cities. They are not in a relationship—they have never met in person but I believe they have corresponded. They both have shared how tough it is to find a mate and carry on an LDR.
Gerry and Theresa from the Golden Bachelor found that out as they lived in different states. Neither wanted to give up their friends, kids, families, etc., by moving to a different state to be together.
Ostensibly, that’s why their marriage didn’t work out. I don’t want to move to a different state or even far away in California to be with a woman. A half-hour drive away is bad enough for me
8. If I were the Golden Bachelor, and agreed to marry, I’d have to announce the subsequent divorce on Good Morning America. That’s no big deal; I’ve already been on GMA so I don’t need the publicity. On June 8, 2005, I was interviewed by Diane Sawyer on GMA about senior dating. See the photo above of Me, Greta (a special woman), and Diane Sawyer from that day.
9. I’ve spent a year and a half hoping to find a new woman friend after my loss of Greta. Well, I’ve got a new woman friend named Debbie (the one referenced above who lives a half hour away). She’s a tough cookie. Intelligent and strong-willed.
Can you imagine Debbie’s response if I told her: “Debbie, is it okay if I become the next Golden Bachelor? I’ll be courting 22 women and will be busy for a few months filming the show. Yes, I’ll be hugging and kissing them on live television but I still love you.”
Her comment would be, as Bill Haley and The Comets made popular 74 years ago, “See You Later, Alligator.”
Those are the 9 reasons I won’t be the next Golden Bachelor.
On Life and Love after 50 