Tag: Alex Rentziperis

Why I’m not a matchmaker

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter – October 25, 2019

by Columnist Tom Blake

Why I’m not a matchmaker and don’t fix up senior singles

I’m a newspaper columnist and an eNewsletter writer. My usual topic: people age 50-plus seeking love. For 26 years, I’ve written about hundreds of seniors who’ve found love, and thousands who haven’t.

Knowing I have contact with so many older singles, people ask why I am not a senior matchmaker and why I don’t fix singles up. There’s an easy reason: it’s too darn hard and seldom works. The effort usually isn’t appreciated.

It’s not that I haven’t tried; I’ve done it dozens of times. I’ve known widowers from San Clemente, California (for example), and widows from San Clemente and have suggested they get together. Some have, but in most cases, no match was made. And then, the people get mad at me for wasting their time, even though my time was free. It’s a no-win situation. In a nutshell, that’s why I’m not a matchmaker.

Granted, some couples have met at our Meet and Greet get-togethers at Tutor and Spunky’s Deli, the Dana Point, California, restaurant I founded and owned for 25 years. But I didn’t fix those couples up. They did it themselves by getting off their couches and out of their homes and coming and socializing.

Technically, I did not introduce them. But, Carolyn and Alex Rentziperis met at our first Meet and Greet 3-4 years ago. And it led to a marriage. He’s been my barber for 25+ years. (Photo by Tom)

Many couples who met there are still together. But not all. Some of the relationships have lasted for a month or so, while others resulted in marriage.

Sponsoring events like that is challenging. Why? There are always more single women than men, especially as we age. Often, by five or six-to-one. I’ve watched women walk in the door, see a limited number of men, and turn around and walk out. Their loss. Sometimes men arrive late.

It takes time and effort to put those no-cost events on.

Last week, a Dana Point woman emailed: “Maybe you should have Meet and Greets more often so seniors have a place to go and socialize instead of staying home. I know you are busy so maybe you can have someone else take charge. Just a suggestion.”

She’s never attended one of our events; she has no clue what’s involved. My answer to her: “More often? It’s difficult enough having one per month, just trying to round up enough men to make it interesting. More often than that? No thanks.” She read that response and unsubscribed–must not have been what she wanted to hear.

Nearly every day, an email arrives in my inbox promoting new dating sites. This week, one arrived with the subject line: “An Easier Dating Site For Men Ages 50+.”

I usually ignore those emails, but, was curious so I clicked on it. It showed a picture of an attractive woman with this caption: “Local matchmaker has more older women & needs more men to match with female clients.”

I said to myself: “What’s new?”

The opening line read, “Meet Successful Dana Point Singles.” Turns out, it’s not an online dating site, but a matchmaking site, the kind where you pay a professional matchmaker to find dates for you.

The site stated, “Professional Matchmakers work with you to determine the exact type of man or woman that would be best for you, and then do their best to find that person and introduce you.”

“Do their best?” Wow, matchmakers are only as good as the people they have in their stables. Let me tell you, they are aware of the lack of men. I have had many of them contact me saying they were having an introductory cocktail party, and did I know of any men they could invite? No joke, it’s true.

It’s Just Lunch is a matchmaking service and on occasion has contacted me asking for the names of men. I decline, of course.

The ballpark cost for hiring a matchmaker? The article stated between $675 to $25,000. At those prices, maybe I should become a matchmaker. Or, at least a paid fixer-upper.

The site also stated: “Matchmaking is by its nature, a local endeavor. That means local offices staffed by warm, experienced, real people – not algorithms.”

Maybe the office is in Dana Point, or San Clemente, or San Juan Capistrano, the cities near me, but if so, I’m unaware of it. Avoid professional matchmakers. Read the online reviews; they are frightening. People feel ripped off.

So, I’ll remain a columnist, and your weekly eNewsletter provider, and leave the matchmaking to – well, the professional matchmakers, wherever and whomever they are.

Never say, “I will never remarry.”

On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter – April 27, 2018

Tom’s friend Alex, age 62, said, “I will never remarry.”

Granted, Alex said those words 20 years ago. And he was adamant about it. Last week-end, he ate cake. Wedding cake that is.

Background for today’s story:

In the summer of 1988, while surfing at Doheny Beach, in Dana Point, California, I met a guy named Alex Rentziperis.

Between waves, as we chatted, I asked, “What kind of work do you do?”

Alex said, “I’m a barber. In a few months, I’m going to open my own barber shop not too far from here in Dana Point. Right up there,” he said, as he pointed in a northernly direction. “How about you?”

I said, “I going to open my own deli, not too far from here in Dana Point. Right up there,” as I pointed in the same direction as Alex had.

That was the start of a friendship that has lasted for 30 years. Later that year, Alex opened the Sports Barber Dana Point, at the corner of Del Prado and Golden Lantern, above where the Still Water restaurant is located now.

In December, 1988, I opened Tutor and Spunky’s Deli on Pacific Coast Highway, next to the Dana Point Donut Shop, across from Rubens Imports, the Mercedes Benz dealer. Our businesses were a half mile from each other.

During the next 30 years, we’ve done a lot together. Most notably, after my divorce in 1994, and after putting up with some unsavory roommates, I finally was going to get to live alone in my Monarch Beach home. That was before the phone rang. It was Alex, calling from his San Juan Capistrano home.

“Toot,” ( the nickname he had given me) he said, “She threw me out. I’m getting a divorce. Got a spare bedroom for a short time?”

So, Alex moved in. Turned out to be for about a year. He often repeated vehemently that he would never marry again.

We took many camping trips to the Sierras together. I can still picture him standing on a huge rock, trying to master fly fishing, casting into the icy waters of Lake Mary. He got a little too far forward on one cast and did a belly flop right into the lake. I told him he’d never make the Olympic team as a diver.

Alex’s passion is ocean fishing. He has a boat and is out on the water once or twice a week. He taught me how to catch sea bass near the kelp beds. He’s been on the cover of Western Outdoor News, the largest weekly fishing and hunting magazine in the country.

Four years ago, Alex attended an age 55+ singles meet and greet event at Tutor and Spunky’s Deli. Alex’s sister, Faye Dalton, encouraged a recently divorced client of hers named Carolyn Young, to attend the same event to meet her brother. I remember that night. Carolyn and Alex seemed enamored with each other. He walked her to her car. They’ve been a couple ever since. Ah, senior dating that has been successful.

This past Saturday, with many members of Alex’s big Greek family and members of Carolyn’s family in attendance, Alex and Carolyn were married in the backyard of Faye and Doug Dalton’s San Clemente home. Mark Rentziperis, Alex’s brother, was the best man.


You know it’s a Greek wedding when there are six bottles of Greek salad dressing on the kitchen counter (photo by Tom Blake)


Tom, Carolyn (the bride), Greta, Alex (the groom who said he would never remarry)
(photo by Tom Blake)
Christine DiGiacomo, a San Clemente resident, whose business card reads “Pastor Woman…for such a time as this,” ( http://www.pastorwoman.com), married Alex and Carolyn. Christine and Carolyn have known each other for years. I heard many of the guests compliment Christine on the beautiful, unique ceremony she performed. Christine is a non-denominational minister.

She began the ceremony by reading from Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, which is also referred to as “Turn, Turn, Turn.” That seemed to resonate with the guests, who ranged in age from young flower girls to older dudes like me, perhaps because of the “Turn! Turn! Turn! (To everything there is a season) song written by Pete Seeger and made popular by the Byrds, in 1965. The song’s words are almost identical to the biblical words.

To conclude the ceremony, Pastor DiGiacomo added an unusual touch: Instead of the traditional “You may kiss the bride,” she turned to her friend Carolyn and said, “You may kiss your new husband.” Very cool.

My partner Greta said, “This is the finest wedding I’ve ever attended.”


  Carolyn and Alex after ceremony

Alex still owns and works at the Sports Barber. Carolyn works at a local bank. They live in Dana Point. Good to see an age 55-plus wedding so hip and fun, and yet with so many millennials in attendance.

Goes to show. Even though you’re over age 55, you never know when or where love might come along; it might even happen at a singles function at your local deli.

Link to Turn, Turn, Turn by the Byrds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKP4cfU28vM