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| A good place to meet men. The Palm Springs, California Air Museum. One of nearly 100 vintage airplanes on display |
 On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter May 2, 2025 By Columnist Tom Blake Is 83 too Old to Date? In the March 21 eNewsletter, Champ Susie commented, “Question: how does a woman become attracted to an older man? Or, if you are a man, how do you become attracted to an older woman? I am 83 and take good care of myself. I still look pretty good after years of working out and being a dancer. I never let myself go. “I want to go on a dating site, but my age of 83 stops me. I would not be interested in a man 83, and I figure no one would be interested in me at 83.” This week, Champ Leslie responded to Susie’s above comment. “This is addressed to Susie at age 83. You never know where or when you might meet someone. Though my man friend and I met at 75, we are each 83 now. The last two men I’ve been in long-term relationships with, each for eight years (the previous one was from 2001-2009), were both from my high school class. I chaired the reunions when we connected both times. The current 83-year-old is still active. “I live near the Villages in Florida, and people here meet constantly. My significant other lives 90 miles north of my place, close to Tampa, and we’re usually at his place. Being your age, Susie, I understand how you feel about online dating. “I know of a man who had never married, and he married someone also from my high school class. None of these relationships were from online dating. Both members of this last couple were volunteers for Meals on Wheels. “Tom, I look forward to your eNewsletters; they’ve helped me very much these last several years. Thank you for sharing last week’s article about the dolphin rescue. Dolphins are amazing animals. I am also on the Quora website you mentioned last week. Tom’s comment: Seniors who are willing and able to get off the couch, out of the house, and involved in activities increase their chances of meeting a potential mate. Leslie makes a good point. She met her last two partners when she chaired her high school reunions. Even if you don’t serve as the reunion chairperson, still attend them if you are seeking a mate near your age, with the added benefit of sharing the common bond of having attended school together. Eight years ago, I wrote a column about two of my high school classmates who never dated each other, but he managed to track her down 50 years later. She lived 2,000 miles away. He told me, “I always had a crust on her.” To say the least, I was shocked when they got married and appeared at my doorstep “just to say hello.” Not only is volunteering a wonderful way to help people, but it also exposes you to people you would have never met. Leslie mentioned Meals On Wheels as an example Other activities include playing pickleball or other sports. Attending church and Chamber of Commerce events and walking your dog is another thing to do. This previous weekend, my significant other Debbie and I were in Palm Springs. On Friday, we visited the Air Museum, located across the main runway from Palm Springs International Airport. It’s known as the best Air Museum in the USA. I highly recommend adding a visit there to your Palm Springs “must-see” check-off list. There are nearly 100 vintage warplanes dating back to WWII, including the photo above. You can also sit outside and watch the commercial jets arriving and departing at Palm Springs Airport with the best seats in the desert for doing that. But here’s my point about the Air Museum. It’s a place to meet people. It’s manned totally by volunteers, women and men. Those volunteers interact daily with multiple museum visitors. Most of the volunteers are seniors and men. What a wonderful place to volunteer and visit (and maybe meet your potential mate). Leslie makes a good point about online dating in our 70s and 80s. It’s a challenge, but it can still work. Posting a photo of oneself when we are in our 80s is frightening (voice of experience). I understand Susie’s hesitancy to do so. But it can work, I met Debbie online (on Zoosk) two years ago when I was also 83. However, getting off the couch and meeting people face-to-face is a better way for seniors to meet potential partners compared to searching online. Scam Alert This Monday, while I was preparing today’s eNewsletter, unexpectedly, my computer screen locked, saying Microsoft Security was protecting it and I should call 855-793-6220. I sensed a scam and shut off my computer 3 times, and the screen was still locked when I turned the computer back on. Then, I remembered the magic of CTL-ALT-DELETE, holding down all 3 keys at once. That did it. The screen was unlocked when I tried to open it the next time. I checked online with my backup computer, and a search revealed that the phone number is a scam. |
Category: Where to meet senior men
Where to meet senior men in 2021
On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter – January 15, 2021
by Tom Blake
Where to meet senior men in 2021
Annette, 60, contacted me. She wrote: “I moved to Dana Point (California) three months ago. I am independent, work from home, attend church, and like to walk and bike ride. I want to meet a husband.
“I am a youthful lady and usually date younger men. Do you have any recommendations on where to meet a decent man?”
My response: I know of no place where men 60+ hang out, hoping to meet single women close to their age. Places like that simply don’t exist—in Dana Point, San Clemente, New York City, or Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania (where one of our Champs lives).
Because I’ve answered that question or similar questions 500 times or more in the 26 years of writing about finding love after 50, normally I would give you my usual quick answer:
“Get off the couch and out of the house. Pursue the activities you enjoy. Meet new people. Be assertive.”
But times are drastically different in 2021. The pandemic has changed how we live and date. We are encouraged to stay home. We are told not to mingle with people. Restaurants and bars are closed. Social events are canceled. We wear masks. Where to meet single men, let alone decent single men, is not an easy question to answer during the pandemic.
Plus, Annette, with you working at home, it makes meeting people more challenging in that you aren’t out and about as much compared to if you were working away from home.
Where to meet senior men in 2021? This quickly brings us to Internet dating, which could become your primary tool during the pandemic. Why? It’s Covid-19 safe, as long as you stay home. The web allows people to cast their nets beyond where they live, dramatically increasing their chances of meeting a potential mate.
On face-to-face dates, you would likely be wearing a mask (or should be). You don’t know if a person has facial hair, bad teeth, a lip tattoo, or some other feature that might not appeal to you. Whereas, with Internet dating, you can see a person’s face without a mask when doing Zoom, face time, or Skype.
I recommend limiting your search to people living within 25 miles or so. Long-distance relationships are particularly challenging, especially with the pandemic in full force and seniors don’t want to be driving far these days (If at all).
There are multiple dating websites seniors can use. Free ones–such as Plenty of Fish (POF) and OkCupid (owned by Match.com)—to subscription-based, such as Ourtime, Match, Silversingles, and eharmony. The latter sites cost approximately $30 per month per site but the cost varies by site. It’s up to each person to decide if she uses just one site at a time, or two or more. Of course, the monthly cost will increase for each site in use.
Paid sites usually offer better service and results when compared to free sites, although I’ve heard from many singles who’ve met mates on POF.
On January 12, a program on GMA said Instagram is a good place to find single men. But the program didn’t specify it that applied to seniors. The key: post your presence in as many places as possible, while keeping an eye on the costs.
Cardinal rule: Never give or send money to a stranger.
Beware of the dangers in Internet dating. You have to be very careful and smart. There are scammers on every site. Internet dating scams are numerous and everywhere. Be careful with what you reveal about yourself.
Only meet strangers in a public place and tell a friend where and with whom you are meeting. Even have the friend observing from nearby to ensure you are safe.
Trust your instincts. If your gut says something is not right about a person you’re communicating with, take heed and stop that contact.
Annette, I think you should do as you are starting to do: try to meet as many people as possible around Dana Point–not just men. Women friends are important as well. When you are walking or biking, wear a ballcap with something catchy on the brim, these can be conversation starters.
And when you see a guy with a conversation starter on the brim of his hat, comment to him about it.
Champ Patrick Hynes says, “I now alternate between my Aussie Kangaroo cap and my University of Oregon Duck cap. I will report which one is the most successful.”
Also, have personal cards, similar to business cards, made. Carry them with you at all times. On the cards, Include a recent flattering picture of yourself, your first name, and your email address only. I suggest withholding your last name until you get to know the person to whom you handed a card. Do not include your telephone number or street address; you can divulge this information later when you feel confident about the man.
The reason for the cards? Make it easy for a man to contact you. No searching for a pen and piece of paper to write your email address down. Just hand him a card.
So, where to meet a decent man?
Anywhere and everywhere: In line at the post office, in the produce section or wine section of a store, waiting for your car to be washed, Costco, on and on. Be assertive (not aggressive). You might have to initiate a conversation with a man.
Some senior women won’t do that. But, it could be a missed opportunity.
Sign up for my free “On Life and Love after 50” eNewsletter, published each Friday with nuggets and stories about senior dating. I have approximately 2,000 subscribers from across the USA, Canada, and many foreign countries. About 15 percent of them are from Southern California. You can sign up on the website you are on right now to receive the eNewsletter.
Suggested places to make new friends: church, which you attend, is a good start. Visit Tutor and Spunky’s Deli, corner of PCH & Blue Lantern. I opened that deli in 1988, sold it in 2015. If you go there, introduce yourself to Debbie, Rosa, or Samantha, who is the new owner. Tell them I sent you in. They know a lot of people. The deli is doing take-out during the pandemic.
Don’t forget the old standard: Networking. Tell your friends, acquaintances, and family you’d like to meet a “nice, decent man.” They may know of a new widower who lives two blocks away who is lonely and would love a woman pal with whom to chat.
When the pandemic eases, I will resume the age-60 plus Meet and Greet evenings once a month at the deli. Sometimes 50-100 attend. A few couples have met at those gatherings.
Times will get better and when they do, you’ll already be on your way to making new friends and meeting that decent guy. Husband material? I can’t guarantee that.
So, where can you meet a man? Anywhere and everywhere. Work on it, one day at a time.
Harder now? Certainly. Impossible now? No, but more challenging than in normal times.
On Life and Love after 50 