On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter January 12, 2024 Responses to Multiple Marriages Column last week By Columnist Tom Blake |
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| Multiple Marriages in Later Life? (photo by Tom Blake) |
| Responses to last week’s Multiple Marriages In reviewing the responses from Champs to last week’s eNewsletter, “Do Multiple Marriages Matter?”, I came upon an article on the UPI News website that surprised me. Before sharing that with you, here are nine responses to last week’s eNewsletter. Eileen emailed, “My wonderful late husband, who was my second, had been married twice before, making me number three. We had 26 great years together and I always say, ‘I’m the one who made him happy.’” Deanne: “I think there can be too many marriages. Sometimes we have bad luck and not much experience and that could count for (#1). Death could count for (#2). I married a murderer could count for (#3). I don’t know what others think but five or more do not motivate me. “One of my meetup dates asked me why I answered his messages when he had been married three times already. I told him I was rolling the dice and didn’t have much to lose. He had no sense of humor, and I had my answer to the three previous marriages. Only one date and I paid for my meal.” Laurie Jo: “Marriage is a serious commitment. I chose to divorce after 29 years. I will never marry again because I don’t want to ever go through divorce again. It was horrible. “If somebody had married twice, I’d be ok with it. Anything over that? No. Marriage is an agreement and even as I’ve reached my senior years if somebody has been married over two times I am out. It means the person has no sense of commitment, or it means that person was a bad “picker.” Sandy, “There is no need to be scared off by the number – until you investigate the circumstances. Caveat: Eight would still cause me to take a breath.” Bruce, “Any number over three would be a red flag for me unless they had all passed away somehow.” |
| Chris (woman) “While I’ve been dating for a few months, I’ve met two gentlemen who have never been married and have no children. As a woman who was married once for 25 years, I find this curious. “Both men said they had relationships, but they never developed into marriage. What do you think of this kind of man? I’m not interested in marriage again, but it makes me think they aren’t capable of a commitment either.” Linda, “I think the number of marriages or serious relationships can matter because if you have been married seven times, these have not been long relationships. It hints that a person may be difficult to get along with.” Carol, “I would be concerned after three times, my personal number. It’s funny that it doesn’t seem to matter how many companions a person has had, but the legal partner? Then it comes down to personal judgment. “To me at this magical age, I’d be more concerned If I met a man who could put his entire life into a black trash bag, eager to move in with me, that would trigger every red flag bell and whistle. There are people out there ready at a moment’s notice who bring their toothbrush on the first date! “That’s fine when you are young–first starting out in life–but if you look the exact same at this end as you did in the beginning, learning that you have done nothing with your life, and you live from one social security check to the next, I might enjoy a conversation, but certainly nothing more.” Claire, “This subject made me think of my 2nd marriage to Larry. My first marriage lasted 22 years. Larry had been married 4 times when I met him. “After three years together, we married against my better judgement, I was crazy in love with him but I had seen the red flags about his not being a good bet for the ‘long haul.’ “I was his fourth wife, fifth marriage…he married the second wife twice. Larry came into my life at a time when my teenage son was giving me a lot of problems. He stepped up to meet the challenge and my children in turn loved him! “After 7 years together though, I caught him with another woman and his affair ended things. We had seven beautiful years together and I do not regret them – just the last six months that I knew something was wrong. He passed away in 2017. He was the love of my life! “So, my theory on this was that Larry was sent to me at the right time of my life for a reason…for a season BUT not forever. It ended badly but I am always grateful for the years he loved both me and my children. I have never loved another man like I loved Larry and probably never will.” Senior men, be careful dating women in foreign countries In reviewing the above responses from Champs, I came upon an article on MSN.com, a UPI News article regarding marriage in South Korea. It was titled, “South Korea’s gender imbalance is bad news for men – outnumbering women, many face bleak marriage prospects,” written by Dudley L. Poston Jr., a Professor of Sociology, at Texas A&M University. It sounded like the opposite situation of what single senior 70-plus women face in the USA, a ratio of between four to seven to one single women to single men. Poston wrote, “South Korea’s bachelor time bomb is about to really go off. Following a historic 30-year-long imbalance in the male-to-female sex ratio at birth, young men far outnumber young women in the country. As a result, some 700,000 to 800,000 ‘extra’ South Korean boys born in the mid-1980s may not be able to find South Korean girls to marry.” Poston added, “…similar trends are playing out in China, Taiwan, and India.” In our December 15 eNewsletter, Brutus Buckeye, a male Champ we featured, stated that he had little success finding an American woman to date. Brutus concluded his comments with, “And this is a joke, don’t take it seriously, but I may have to go overseas for a nice foreign lady!” Here’s my comment on Brutus’s last sentence: We have three men Champs, each of whom I know personally, who did what Brutus jokingly stated. They went overseas and married women from foreign countries. All three of the women ended up divorcing those men and made the men’s lives miserable, so you senior single men who might be pondering that strategy, rethink it. There is a shortage of single women in South Korea, Taiwan, and India. Probably, in other countries as well. However, there are plenty of fine single, senior women in the USA and Canada, and within our Champs’ group, who would make ideal mates. Why not try a little harder to meet one? |
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