On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter – May 24, 2024
By Columnist and Senior Dating Expert Tom Blake
| In the early 1950s, a quartet called the Hilltoppers had a #1 hit song titled, “P.S. I Love You.” Most people who enjoyed listening to music on the radio back then recall that classic love song. The Hilltoppers had other lesser-known songs as well. One that I enjoyed was “Time Waits For No One.” This week, I thought about that song’s opening lyrics sung by Jimmy Sacca, the lead singer: “Time waits for no one it passes you by…” Those words made me think of my writing career and the evolution of senior dating. I reflected on the year 1994. Life for me was good then. I owned Tutor & Spunky’s, a popular deli in Dana Point, which kept me busy seven days a week. Plus, I was married for a third time, and happy as a clam, at least that’s what I thought. And then, an unexpected event hit me like a ton of bricks. While I was in Northern California visiting my 81-year-old mom, I was blind-sided when my wife of six years telephoned me to announce that she and her two boys had taken what furniture and belongings they wanted and moved out of our Dana Point home. I was shocked, humiliated, and saddened. My “happy life” had changed in an instant. That night, I started keeping a journal, trying to understand what had happened. I was 54. Two months after my wife’s phone call, she filed for divorce. I decided to date, thinking I’d be hot stuff — lots of single women came to the deli. But those women didn’t want to date an older, broken man. I wrote about my divorce and futile dating attempts in the journal. Adversity can lead to opportunity Often, after people experience adversity, unexpected opportunities emerge. That happened to me. I was not a writer in 1994. But six months after my wife’s move out, I became one. Using the notes from the journal, I wrote a 72-page short story about a 54-year-old man being dumped and divorced by his wife, and his subsequent frustrating dating life. I submitted the story to two women editors, Sherrie Good and Dixie Redfearn, of the Dana Point News, a printed weekly newspaper owned by The Orange County Register. Those two women gave me the chance to become a columnist. My first article, “Home Alone With Only Dogs For Company,” was published on July 7, 1994. I had no idea how long my writing gig would last. A week? A month? For the next 16 years, I wrote senior dating columns for The Register newspapers. And then, 13 years ago, I started writing for Picket Fence Media (PFM), which owned the Dana Point Times, San Clemente Times, and The Capistrano Dispatch. I made appearances on the Today Show and Good Morning America. Last year, the Times Media Group, a newspaper syndicate in Arizona and Los Angeles, purchased (PFM.) I hoped the transfer of ownership wouldn’t end my print-newspapers writing career. It’s been almost a year since the Times Media Group acquired PFM. I am still writing for them. I realize how blessed I am to be writing for printed newspapers. The number of columns including weekly eNewsletters written in 30 years is approximately 4,800. I started writing these eNewsletters about 20 years ago. That time has gone by in a whiz. Time Waits for No One. Have things changed on the dating scene in 30 years? Of course! In 1994, seniors mainly met potential mates the old-fashioned way—via networking with friends and socializing. Now, the Internet provides online dating with opportunities and dangers. Online dating sites are filled with romance scammers. When I began writing, my topic was dating after 50. Now it’s dating after 60, 70, 80, and even 90. Same old issues—it’s challenging to meet someone compatible. And, women 60+ often remind me there aren’t enough available men. And speaking of the 90s, our Champ, Les Jones, who is in 98, wrote this week. He said, “Please watch the annual Memorial Day Concert on PBS on May 26, Sunday evening. I’m being honored as a World War II veteran and will be on TV.” Les can attest to how time waits for no one, he fought for our country in Europe and in the Pacific nearly 84 years ago. The ending words in the Hilltoppers’ “Time Waits For No One” song are “…let’s take love while we may.” Those five words apply to my writing career and senior dating. Most single seniors would like to take and receive love. We don’t have time left to waste. |
On Life and Love after 50 