Importance of senior social interaction

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter – July 12, 2024

Tom Blake Columnist and Senior Dating Expert

Get off the couch and out of the house Tom is reminded of the importance of social interaction for seniors 

I received a telephone call last week from Teresa, the first employee I hired at Tutor and Spunky’s, the Dana Point deli I opened in 1988. Remarkably, Teresa has worked there for 36 years. Teresa said a gentleman named Steve had telephoned the deli and asked how to contact me.

He told her he had purchased at an estate sale a book I had written in 2006 titled, “Prime Rib & Boxcars. Whatever Happened to Victoria Station?” He hoped I would be willing to sign the book. Teresa gave me his phone number. 

He googled me and sent me an email explaining the book situation. To be certain he was legitimate, I checked information about him on Google. I discovered he has owned SC Pacific Group, a real estate development and construction company for 30 years in nearby Laguna Niguel, and, he had been a chairman of the Laguna Niguel Planning Commission. Great credentials. 

Steve and I agreed to meet at Peet’s Coffee in Laguna Niguel. I arrived early, wearing my University of Michigan shirt emblazoned with the famous “M” logo. Soon, a woman came into Peet’s wearing an Ohio State shirt. I showed her my Michigan shirt. We teased each other about being rivals and exchanged football stories. She’s a writer in Laguna Beach, so I gave her a business card. We will likely be in touch. It occurred to me that I would not have met her had I not gotten out of the house. 

Steve texted a minute later, saying, “I’ll be the guy in the blue checkered shirt carrying a copy of your book.” Not 10 minutes later, he walked in and we both laughed. Steve said, “I enjoyed your book so much I had to find you and have you sign it.” I happily complied.

Steve told me he had frequently dined at the Victoria Station restaurant in Newport Beach. He had as many stories about his past life experiences as I have about my experiences. I suggested he write a book about his fascinating life. He said he’d been thinking about it. I asked for his permission to use how we met and the details of our meeting in an eNewsletter. He agreed. 

I suggested we have a picture taken of the two of us holding the book. A woman standing nearby was waiting for her husband to bring her coffee. I asked if she would take a picture of Steve and me using my cellphone. She pointed to her husband and said, “I’ll have Mel take the picture. I’m Beverly. Who wrote the book?” 

I said I had, and mentioned a few details about meeting Steve to sign the book. She said her husband Mel is also a writer and a professional tennis player. He arrived holding their coffees. Steve and I introduced ourselves to Mel and Beverly. Soon, the four of us were chatting and exchanging information about writing and life. What a delightful couple. I gave them a business card and we agreed to be in touch. 

Again, I thought to myself, I would never have met these wonderful people if I hadn’t gotten out of the house. In the 45 minutes Steve and I chatted, we became friends. Steve said he would like to meet Bob Freeman, one of the three Victoria Station founders who now owns the Buena Vista restaurant in San Francisco, considered the birthplace of Irish coffee.

Steve mentioned he would be in San Francisco later this month. I said, “If you are driving, will you deliver a case of my books to Bob? He sells the book in the restaurant. Steve said, “Great. Maybe that’s how I can meet him.” 

While driving home, I thought of that amazing hour at Peet’s. I have four new friends. That experience reminded me of the importance for seniors to get off the couch and out of the house and socially interact with people. 

Social interaction is important for one’s health. Socially active people are proven on average to live longer than people who are couch potatoes. Plus, mingling with people can help combat senior loneliness.

Being lonely is not good for our health. I was pleased to be reminded of the importance of getting off the couch and out of the house. 

Adding to the coincidences of that day, at home I received an email from a man named Jay McGuffin, who lives in Antioch, Illinois, He ordered a “Prime Rib & Boxcars. Whatever Happened to Victoria Station?” book, stating that as a customer, he frequented the San Francisco and Northbrook (Illinois) Victoria Station restaurants often. And as a new Champ, He is receiving this eNewsletter today.

The photo below is of Tom and Steve (on the right in his checkered shirt) holding “Prime Rib & Boxcars. Whatever Happened to Victoria Station?” If any Champ would like a signed copy of the book for $12, including shipping, email me at tompblake@gmail.com and I’ll explain how we can make that happen.

The back nine of life

On Life and Love After 50 eNewsletter – July 9 2021

                          The Back Nine of Life

By Tom P Blake – Columnist

Most Champs—except newcomers–know that I write a bi-weekly column for Picket Fence Media, a syndicate that publishes the Dana Point Times, the San Clemente Times, and The Capistrano Dispatch (San Juan).

Newspaper readers sometimes respond to those articles, providing me with information that I think will be helpful to our Champs. Often, the people who respond live in cities and areas other than the three cities mentioned above. Such was the case this week.

For example, take Laurie of nearby Laguna Niguel, California. She emailed, “While reading your article, ‘Senior Singles can benefit from having an open mind,’ in the June 25 issue of the Dana Point Times, it got me to thinking about my sister, who is 61, widowed after only being married for four months in 2013, and she has not dated since.

“I checked out the link to your FindingLoveAfter50.com website and ta-da! There are so many things I could say about it. I watched your Today Show video and the last video you posted about the two ladies. Your advice is so spot on.

“I’m turning 68 this month. My friends and I tell ourselves we are on the ‘back nine’ now (the back nine in golf is the second half of a golf game). I’m not sure which hole in the back nine we’re on.

“I mentioned this to a 77-year-old surgeon I know and he chuckled and said in his Whales accent, ‘Well dahling, if you are on the back nine, I must be in the clubhouse having my martini.’

“My closest friends and I want our lives to be filled with quality time and friends and people who have value to us. Most of us are quite spontaneous, feeling as we get older to ‘try something new’ because we never know what the outcome could be. I loved your website article about who should pay for the date. The perspectives you presented were so interesting and varied.

“I am sharing your website information with several friends who could benefit from your insight. Do you still own Tutor & Spunky’s deli in Dana Point?

“I live in Laguna Niguel, up Pacific Island Drive, and am a frequent visitor to Dana Point.”

My response to Laurie: “I sold Tutor & Spunky’s five years ago, but still drop in for a sandwich to visit with some employees who worked with me. I am proud that the deli is in its 32year.

“I’ve been busy in my back nine of life. I am finishing a memoir about my 25 years opening, running, managing a Dana Point Deli. The book is titled, ‘Tutor & Spunky’s Deli. A Dana Point Landmark.’ It should be published around July 17 (it is live on Amazon.com both as a Kindle eBook and a Paperbook version.

Tutor & Spunky's Deli. A Dana Point Landmark
book cover by author Tom Blake
Tom Blake’s memoir finished July 17 2021

“At age 68, you and your friends may be on the back nine, as you describe it, but probably only on the 10th or 11th hole. You have lots left to do and enjoy.

“We in Dana Point appreciate your visiting us from Laguna Niguel. In 1989, I lived in Laguna Niguel. One night I went to sleep there and woke up the next morning in Dana Point. I promise I had not been drinking. I hadn’t even left my house.

“That was just before Dana Point became a city on January 1, 1990, and the boundaries of Dana Point were expanded to include the Ritz Carlton and Monarch Beach Areas, as well as Capistrano Beach. So, I understand the city of Laguna Niguel, from where you are coming.

“Now that the pandemic has eased, and you and your friends are willing to try something new, three things are important to keep in mind. These three suggestions apply to singles anywhere in the world, not just Southern Orange County.

Three things single seniors should do

“First, get the body moving. Walking helps. Try tai chi, yoga, water aerobics, dancing, standup paddleboarding—whatever is of interest. Just, get it going.

“Second, get off the couch and out of the house and involved in activities you enjoy. Senior centers offer a multitude of activities. For your widowed sister, there are widow and widower clubs. Many people she’ll meet there will be able to relate to what she has gone through. They would be good places for her to gradually reenter the social world.

“Third, aim to maximize social interaction. People need to be among people—laughing, talking, caring, sharing, and hugging—all of those social interactions are good for a person’s health. Meeting new people is healthy

“Those three things are key for senior singles. Pursuing them will keep seniors from finishing the back nine and entering the clubhouse too soon, unless, like your 77-year old surgeon friend, you’re into martinis.”

Have a good weekend.