| Hello, Tom |
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| Senior love found because of a blue chair |
| On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter January 6, 2023 “My money is on the chair” By Columnist Tom Blake |
| “My money is on the chair” 5 words that brought love to a senior couple Finding a compatible mate in one’s senior years is difficult. It can happen when people are willing to get out of the house, walk, be friendly, and intermingle with others. Sometimes, there’s luck involved, and often seniors feel there was a higher power at work. These factors were the case with Char (not her true name), who recently emailed about finding her senior-love story. She lives in Dana Point, California. Char, wrote, “In 2013, I was 69 and content with my life as a single woman. I had been walking for 20 years in Dana Point Harbor six days a week. “On my walk one day across the bridge on Dana Point Island, I saw a man flailing around trying to collapse a low, blue-colored, beach chair. “He looked funny and flustered and I started laughing and called out to him as I approached, ‘My money is on the chair.’ “He looked at me and asked me to come and show him how it was done. No problem, but then I couldn’t collapse it either. We stood there laughing until a lady saw us from her car and mercifully showed us how to collapse the chair. “When he and I introduced ourselves, we both used our proper names, me: Charlotte, and him: Liam. Normally I’d just say Char and he told me he uses Lee. Later we talked about why we used our proper names; neither could explain it. “I knew on that first day that something special had just happened to me, that he was the one for me even though he lived in another country and was a recent widower. I figured: ‘Just my luck, no chance whatsoever.’ “I told four friends that afternoon that I had met the one. And, I called my sister that night and told her the same thing. “Lee is English and was visiting his son and family for Christmas from the UK. He had lost his wife of 60 years six months before, so I knew he was dealing with that.” Tom’s comment. I asked Char if she and Lee had arranged to meet each other again. She said no, but she sure hoped to see him again. No contact information was exchanged between them. And this is where luck entered the scene. I asked why they didn’t exchange contact info on that first day of the meeting, or agree to meet at the blue-chair location the next day. What if one of them hadn’t come back? Or they had come at different times? This entire senior love relationship might not have happened. I encourage senior singles to carry a contact information card, which makes it easy in case one would like to contact the other person. Char said, “I don’t know why neither asked for contact information, but I KNEW I was going to see him again. I made sure to look fabulous the next day and there he was at the same location. I smiled upon seeing him. “Maybe the first time we were too dazzled by what had happened and weren’t thinking straight. I used to have a printed card with my name and phone number (that was pre-email) and never once did I hand one out. “During our second day, we talked for two hours. Lee said he was going home soon so we exchanged email addresses. Tom’s comment: Yea! Thank goodness they at least shared email addresses so they could contact each other. Char continued, “After he returned to England, I emailed and didn’t get any reply, I was despondent. The next week he emailed and said he had caught terrible flu on the plane going home and had been in bed for a week. We started corresponding and after about a month he said he was coming back to the USA. I was very happy about that. “Lee didn’t say he was coming back to see me, (he’s English; they aren’t real demonstrative), he inferred it was just in general, but I later learned after we were together for a while that he didn’t want to be a burden on his daughter in the UK, he didn’t want to depend on anyone. “I think he felt there was nothing in the UK to keep him there, other than his daughter and her family. He has a son who has a family living in Trabuco Canyon (near Dana Point) with whom he stayed when he visited. “I surmised that he was coming back to see me because we emailed daily, and I was always telling him how much I missed him and loved him. I didn’t know how those feelings happened, but I felt them strongly and couldn’t keep them to myself. He asked how could I love him and I told him I didn’t know but I knew I did – period. “Lee has three children, eight grandchildren, and three great-grandchildren. His children had no problem when he told them about me. All they said was ‘Just be happy Dad, we want you to be happy.’ No one had any objections to us being together. I mention this because it’s important for people to know that adult children shouldn’t have a vote on whether their parent is with a certain person or not, it’s not their business. Lee returns to the USA “After he returned, he didn’t contact me right away. When he did, he said that he had ‘plans’ for the weekend and that he would see me ‘next week.’ I didn’t take that very well and asked when he could fit me into his appointment book. He thought I was serious and said, ‘Tuesday.’ “When I met him Tuesday, again in the harbor, I was really angry, and I let him have it. I told him that I wanted someone to love, not a pen pal, and if he wasn’t up for that to tell me now. I got up and stomped off – he came running after me and said he didn’t know what he wanted, and I told him I knew what I wanted and if we weren’t on the same page to just forget it. “A few days later he called and acted like nothing had happened (English again) and from that day on we saw each other almost every day. “He moved in with me within a month after his return to the States. I think he was trying to manage what the ‘kids’ would think. He arranged for me to meet his son, his son’s wife, and, his granddaughters. Everything seemed okay with them. He was critically sensitive about that it had been only eight months since his wife had died. I was sensitive to that issue too, but, regardless, I just laid it all out there, I truly loved him and told him so. “From the time I met him to the time he moved in with me was four months. We both knew it was meant to be. It’s been nine years and we are as happy as two clams. I say to single seniors, don’t wait around, jump in and swim, you will enjoy the water. The senior dating age difference Char commented on their ages. “Lee was 82 at the time, 13 years older. He was reluctant at first to share that info with me. He did a week later. I couldn’t have cared less, I was totally hooked by that time. He’s a very vital man, mentally and physically, he does most of the work around the house because of my health issues (bad arthritis) and he takes a nice long walk almost daily. “He seemed ageless, sharp as a tack, in good shape, and the best part is he made me laugh a lot and that’s the cherry on top for me; we laugh every day. His sense of humor was all that mattered. “The blue chair started it all, had he not been struggling with it I would have walked right by and missed the love of my life. Senior dating a higher power at work? “Regarding the ‘higher power’ possibility, I’m generally a skeptic about stuff like that but our meeting sure was unusual: the chair, my strong feelings, and the whole thing happening so quickly. I think there was a higher power that brought us together. “I’m laughing when I say I think another reason Lee moved here was I’m a really good cook and I cooked for him, maybe that’s what won him over. He has a huge sweet tooth and I made him my special pineapple upside-down cake, it’s a double-layered thing, and super moist. “I hope our story will be helpful for others who might be ‘sitting on the fence.’” Tom’s final thoughts There are five key lessons for senior singles from today’s story: 1. When you are out and about, don’t hesitate to be assertive, as Char was when she said, “I’m betting on the chair!” That started a conversation between two strangers that led to love. 2. Singles should carry a contact information card with them in case they meet someone with whom they’d like to spend time. 3. Follow your heart. When a relationship feels right, go for it. 4. Communicate your feelings, as Char did when Lee waited a week to see her. 5. Don’t let an age difference stop you from loving someone. Char and Lee have been together for nine years. |
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