 Brutus Buckeye – The Ohio State University mascot (photo courtesy of The Ohio State University) On Life and Love after 50 eNewsletter December 15, 2023 Senior Man’s Dating Concerns By Tom Blake Senior Dating Columnist |
Senior Man’s Dating Concerns When I receive an email from a Champ that begins with words like these, “Please don’t use my name because what I am writing today might upset some women,” it gets my attention. I go on high alert and read it very carefully. If I feel it might be helpful for Champs–that it’s worthy of becoming the basis for an eNewsletter–I put on my writer’s cap and edit it for clarity and grammar. Approximately 75-80 percent of our Champs (eNewsletter subscribers) are women. Believe me, I don’t want to irritate them or rattle their cages with what well-meaning men (or women) have to say. Such is the case with today’s edition. It was written by a male Champ in the Midwest. Those words remind me of these lyrics from a very famous love-gone-wrong song from the 1970s: “Where are you calling from? A booth in the Midwest.” Where was he writing from? A Home in The Midwest. I’ll let you guess which song and I will identify it and provide a link to it at the end of today’s edition. In the email, he stated, “I feel the content might be a common senior dating problem for some older guys.” I thought about that and felt perhaps I could help him with his senior dating problem. Since the man is from Ohio, I will call him Brutus, which is the name of the Ohio State Buckeyes’ sports mascot. Let me say this upfront, he and I poke fun at each other, and have for years, because he’s a huge Ohio State football fan and I’m a huge University of Michigan football fan. Brutus emailed, “I have come to the realization that I may never find a new mate given my circumstances. “I am 75/decent looking/financially secure, etc., etc. And a graduate of The Ohio State University. Tom’s first comment: “What does etc., etc., mean? Women are going to want more details than just etc., etc. Brutus responded, “I own a very large, beautiful log cabin and cottage in northern Michigan, a bit south of the Mackinaw Bridge. One would think that would be rather appealing to senior women. “I am seeking a woman between the ages of 64 and 74. Attractive. Educated (but not a University of Michigan graduate), liberal (certainly not a Trumper), and so on. Tom’s second comment: “What does ‘and so on’ mean? What are some of the other criteria he’s looking for? Brutus said, “However, what I’m finding is that if women do come close to that criterion, they are already pretty set in their lives—financially, nice home/friends, etc. They have no desire to sell their home and move in with me. Tom’s third comment: “Wait, Brutus, move in with you? Before that move-in discussion even comes up in a senior relationship, might it be a good idea for a couple to date each other for at least six months or more, like a year? Brutus went on, “I am not willing to sell the home I built because it has become the annual Thanksgiving and Christmas gathering place for my family as I am the oldest and consider myself now the patriarch of the family. “I am starting to believe I will have to alter my search criteria to women who aren’t so set in their lives, who might be more flexible and available and maybe even a University of Michigan graduate who may be desiring of someone like me (lol). Tom’s fourth comment: “Watch out Brutus, some UM women might throw spoiled fruit at you when you are prancing around the football field at The Big House (Michigan stadium, seating capacity 111,000). I can only imagine the responses we’ll receive from women Champs regarding some women who aren’t as set in their ways. Brutus prodded on, “But this is what I am running into in my limited search area (I have reduced it to 20 miles around Lima, Ohio) and even that sounds far to me now. “I don’t want to spend an hour or so on the road to date anymore. I also do not want to have extended dating times anymore either (months on end before a decision is made to cohabitate together). “I will never get married again after my last marriage failed, which has cost me dearly. “A LAT relationship is probably a possibility however I prefer to have someone beside me every night and available to do things together at any time. “And someone who can travel, and who could assist me with my coin shop (my fun, side, business). Brutus concluded, “I’m not sure how to resolve this. I’m still on two dating sites (Match.com and Zoosk) but they have not proven very beneficial. The most interesting ladies are too far away–who fall into the above criteria I outlined. And this is a joke, don’t take it seriously, but I may have to go overseas for a nice foreign lady!” Tom’s fifth comment(s) “I’m almost at a loss for words. I briefly mentioned Brutus’ email to my sister, Christine, and she said, “He needs to go to church (to meet an interested woman who lives within his search radius).” I checked the population of Lima, Ohio, and it’s around 35,000 people. The number of available single women in his age range is likely limited. And then toss in his criteria—age 64 to 74, attractive, liberal but not a UM grad, living within 20 miles and politically the same—and I’m guessing there are even fewer women nearby who might be interested in a match. Brutus stated that a LAT relationship might be possible. But, how far away? And a senior woman who might enjoy helping him out in his coin shop. Well, maybe. And what about that cabin in Northern Michigan? Might there be some nice women within 50 miles or so up there? Yup, but if they attended the University of Michigan, they are probably not his cup of tea. And then, Brutus would have to find one of those who would accept an Ohio State Buckeye. In the state of Michigan, that would be a bit harder to find. Is that too far-fetched, knowing the rivalry between the two schools? From my personal experience, that rivalry can exist under the same roof. My Dad was a Buckeye, and my Mom cheered for UM. Sister Christine was a Michigan State Spartan and I have an MBA from UM. My other sister, Pam, rooted for UM football as well. Things got a little quiet and uncomfortable at our home during football season, but we’d always reconcile after the bowl games in January, and we loved each other. So, Brutus, good luck with your dilemma. I think increasing your efforts with expanded online dating is a necessary evil for you, as you are somewhat GU. (geographically unavailable). And thanks for providing us with some entertaining thoughts and insights into how men think about senior dating. I’m sure our Champs will chime in with some interesting observations on what you wrote. Brutus is a good man. If there is a woman Champ who might enjoy talking with Brutus, email me and I’ll forward your email to him. I’d recommend including a phone number. And what song from today’s story did Tom have in mind? “Diamonds and Rust,” by Joan Baez. It was about her love affair with Bob Dylan. Classic lyric: “Where are you calling from? A booth in the Midwest?” Who knows? It might have been from Ohio. Here’s the link (more than 11 million views) Link to Diamonds and Rust: |
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